safety while being your "self"

[mykell]

many here talk of the positive experiences they have while out, i have had that success on most of my outings as well....fairly recently i met a trans girl from my group who is socially active who had a bad experience and the result was an attack and multiple stabbings on her leg as the result. :sad:

ive been meaning to share this with the group and finally found it, .....even when you are with a group of girls your walk back to the car is most times in different locations, please forgive the lightness of the movie ive pulled it from, hopefully it will help you to remember, it is how i did.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNJwxJXr2jc

dont mean to be a debbie downer, just proactive with safety....

[Debra Russell]

Oh yeah! point well taken - thanks................................Debra

[Hell on Heels]

Be prepared!
Or just bring your service dog along with you!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[KristinaK]

I always keep an eye on my surroundings when out in just mens wear... Going 'out' I am even more aware (granted it's been several years since I have). It's not paranoia but just being aware of your surroundings. Keep keys handy at the minimum... they are a good weapon (put a key between your fingers..) for self defense. Take stock of what you can use for self defense in any situation. (just my 2c.. )

[mykell]

your "Trained Rescue And Neutered Safety" dog, how do you take them into the ladies room....

[Dana44]

Yep a few good moves can help. But if they have a weapon, it is a bit harder to protect yourself. Everybody should take a class on self defense especially since we go out as a woman.

[KristinaK]

Yep a few good moves can help. ...

+1

:thumbsup:

[Becky Blue]

I have had many very happy and safe experiences going out in 5 cities in 2 countries. I have never had even the slightest concern. But that being said I am always careful, try stay with people where possible and never take any risks. Even though the vast majority of people are accepting or mildly disapproving there are still haters out there.

[XemmaX]

i think it is an important subject that should be discussed. we should be able to go about unharassed but be prepared if it does happen and tip sharing shouldn't be frowned upon.

[Alice_2014_B]

Must be cognizant of your surroundings at all times.

I tell my wife to always look around outside before getting out of the car, especially at night; same goes before unlocking the car door to get in.

:)

[Tracii G]

I never leave the house without protection no matter what mode I am presenting.
Just makes common sense to me.
Best to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.
Learning self defense is a wise thing to do as well.
Another thing that has become a habit is when I am in an establishment I keep my back to the wall so I can see a threat coming and be ready to respond.
I'm sure most of you would think thats crazy what are you afraid of?
I'm not afraid just cautious.

[windshear]

Tracii, I do the same. Situational awareness, positioning myself to be aware of things. Its not crazy, its common sense.
Anyone have chickens and a rooster? Anyone notice what the rooster does while the hens are pigging out? His head is up, looking around, for a reason.

I have a bantam rooster half the size of the hens and he's always on high alert. I admire the little guy.

272777

[mandi77]

Thanks for posting this. All of this is great advice. Every time I go out I make sure I m aware of my surroundings. Always having my back towards the wall and knowing who is behind me. But keep this in mind when you are at home as well. Just recently I had two guys come to my door and presented me with a "free" can of air freshener. Good thing I had my screen door between me and them with the glass down. Who knows if they were waiting for me to open the door so they could spray my face with aerosol and make their way in.

[XemmaX]

yeah spatial awareness as that helps with finding an escape route from any situation.
try to appear confident body language is important as bullies tend to pick on easy targets
i personally have a defense spray with me all the time whatever mode im in, if you think that works for you check your local laws on that. some people also find a simple strong l.e.d flash light is good enough to confuse an a potential attacker enough to buy the time to do the slip.
some self defense skills are always good and remember it's not about having a boxing match it's about getting time to escape.
but remember bad things can happen but they often don't. hope people find these tips helpful!:)

[Judy-Somthing]

When I was about 18 I was fully dressed sitting in a park with a friend at 11:30 PM, a car pulled up and parked at one end of the park and 5 older guys got out and started walking towards us.
I thought "OH CRAP" got up and started walking towards the opposite exit of the park, my friend beat feet. In heels I couldn't keep up with him.
The guys started fallowing me saying "hay honey hang with us and have a beer" I ran like the dickens and hopped a few fences in heels.
I reached home but when I looked through the door window I saw my farther watching TV so I ran to the garage when the guys finally caught up to me.
They asked why did I run, we only want to hang out. then one said "hey you're so and so's brother I ended up telling them I did it on a dare.

Another time I got fully dressed and went out for a walk at about 1:00 AM.
Some guy in a car started driving beside me asking me if I wanted a ride.
I ignored him and he finally drove off.
I suspected he would come back so in my favorite dress I crawled under a car in someone's driveway.
Well I was right, a few minuets later he drove down the street very slowly looking for me.

After staying under the car for about 30 minuets I ran home as fast as I could.
I never went out again!

[Linda E. Woodworth]

Great Thread!

A girl can never be too careful.

Xemma's comment on checking local laws is also very pertinent. Especially in the USA. Laws vary from state to state and there is not necessarily reciprocity between states. My Therapist is just over the boarder and my "license" isn't recognized in Georgia.

Also, any training requires practice to stay current. I attended a great self defense course and learned a lot. However; that has now been over 18 months ago and most of those skills have been forgotten due to lack of practice on my part.

By the way, I liked the course so much I sent my 18 year old daughter to it. She came home covered in bruises and telling me how "awesome" the course was.

[Beverley Sims]

I have always had a backup when out, saying that I did have to walk about half mile from a bus stop about nine o'clock one night.

[Helen_Highwater]

@Judy-Somthing

Judy,
Not wishing to appear critical but part of the reason you had these bad experiences is park with a friend at 11:30 PM, went out for a walk at about 1:00 AM. One major point about this thread is don't put yourself in a position where bad things are far more likely to happen. Those times of the day you're far more likely to find undesirables roaming around. You're much much safer in broad daylight in a shopping mall than any park in the dead of night. Ask yourself this, if your 18 year old daughter said she was going to walk the streets at 1:00AM in the morning would you be happy? I doubt it.

I cannot agree more that we all should be continually vigilant when out, even in what should be considered safe environment. However the primary starting point is don't go into places and situations that carry inherent risk in the first place.

[Jenny22]

Put this in your browser and check out the many links of excellent safety advice for women.

Safety advice for women at night

[Lauri K]

I never leave the house without protection no matter what mode I am presenting.
Just makes common sense to me.
Best to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Tracii I can just see an image burned in my mind of your purse stuffed full and overflowing with condoms.

[Hell on Heels]

Getting them into the ladies room is usually a piece of cake.
I believe service dogs are allowed full access to anywhere their
needed.

And Beverly, that's a great idea bringing backup!
Or at least a good friend, the old strength in numbers thing does work.

[Tracii G]

Tracii I can just see an image burned in my mind of your purse stuffed full and overflowing with condoms.

Oh now Lauri you are just being silly LOLOL
Yeah my purse is filled with condoms ..................not:)
I have two devices on me in my avatar pic but you would never know it.

[Hell on Heels]

Tracii,
I gotta admit that I had a similar thought about condoms.
Not a purse full though, GEEEEZ Lauri...I like the way you think!
And Traci, I believe those devices are commonly refered to as breast forms?
Honestly, they're not that unnoticeable!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Stephanie47]

First of all my recommendation is to totally avoid any area where a call for help will be unanswered. Late nights in parks are a big no-no. Out of the way factory areas are a no-no. Check out your state laws related to carrying and usage of protection. One thing my wife carries to attract attention if needed is a good quality whistle...that's the school teacher in her to attract the attention of the kids in a school yard. Those whistles are really loud. As an observation on women. One of the worse things any woman can do is NOT having her car key out in her hand when approaching her vehicle. I see so many women fumbling in their oversized purses looking for the keys while standing next to the car. Not really good for a quick entry to the car.

[Tracii G]

I also carry with me in the car is a small high intensity flashlight that not only will blind someone temporarily it also is an electrical protection device all you need to do is touch the person and they will let you go in a hurry.
It is wise to check your local laws concerning such devices but if they say no I have to wonder why they feel they have the right to say you can't protect yourself.
Lauri and Kristyn you two would be fun to hang out with just sayin' LOLOL

[TrishaLake]

The 60-40 part of me being a buy (numbers I have made up) would really work out bad for someone who tried to threaten me. This is an area that doesn't worry me, that said no one should have to worry even a little bit about this. Its sad...

[Helen_Highwater]

it also is an electrical protection device all you need to do is touch the person and they will let you go in a hurry.
It is wise to check your local laws concerning such devices but if they say no I have to wonder why they feel they have the right to say you can't protect yourself.


Traci,
Not wishing to go off thread to far but when does a device intended for self protection become one that can be used as an offensive weapon. A "self defense" taser will be just as effective as disabling a victim and enabling a crime to take place. That's why they're banned in many places including the UK.

[Tracii G]

Helen I sent you a PM on the subject and feel free to ask me anything.

It seems odd to me that people think because you carry an item for protection it means you are going to commit a crime with it.
That just makes no sense
Helen when items like this get banned then the law abiding people have no way to defend themselves and the criminal is going to have said device because he doesn't care what the law is.

[Rhandi Spencer]

There are classes on Situational Awareness. With cell phones being in your hand and reading texts you become a target quickly.
You need to be aware of your surroundings and move yourself out of harms way if possible. If not able to avoid the conflict be ready to protect yourself.

Heidi

[KimberlyJean]

It is something I have put some thought into, as a male I present a very hard target. Most with bad intentions will pass for an easier mark. As a woman I know that I am not projecting the same hard target and it presents a whole new problem. In Mississippi it is legal for a woman to conceal carry in her purse without a permit, but I am reluctant to carry because it would be sticky to defend. On the other hand I would rather try explaining than worse scenarios. I usually don't worry to much because I don't go to shady places and at the end of the day I am still a 220lb very fit man, even if I don't want to be.