Crossdressing and Cancer

[sabrinaedwards]

Recently someone asked if CD was a blessing or a curse. I feel that CD is more like cancer. It's origin in nebulous, but it takes over. Like some cancers, it has no cure. The host has no control, and the outcome is unknown. I know that I will get hammered for this post, but that is how I feel. I wish I could just be a "normal" guy, but I have no chance at that. Perhaps others feel this way; maybe I'm just feeling depressed. Sorry to you all for a negative posting.
Love, Sabrina

[Sara Jessica]

Let me be the first. As a cancer survivor I can say your analogy is beyond trivial. There is no way to compare CDing to an absolutely insidious and deadly disease. CDing might a compelling activity but it can be managed. It won't kill you.

[AllieSF]

Hell, it was the cancer cure that started me on my way to being another me, somewhat happier and a lot more complicated!

[Tracii G]

Its just you being depressed you need to stop doing that for your own sanity.
Don't worry about what you can't change and deal with the things you can change.
Non of us have perfect lives,we all have issues and things we have to deal with so you aren't the only one.

[Dana44]

For us it is not a curse.. We are happier and with far less stress. I exercise and keep my body in shape. Eat well and no problem with any sickness. I have been a lot healthier being me than many men who seem stressed as they get older. Women typically outlive men because of the stress men go through life.

[redtea]

Statistically, lets say 10% of all men Crossdress at some time in their life, someone had to be apart of that statistic-guess what, it's you.

Just be thankful you aren't apart of other statistics that are harder to deal with.


I mean imagine if you were a pedophile, in your mind you know you can't do anything about the urges, you know for a fact that 99.9% of people will think you are a sick puppy so you internalize the feelings and live a sad lonely life because older women/men don't do anything for you. At least with CDing you can indulge in it and not end up in prison, maybe 20% of the people are ok with it (idk i'm throwing numbers)

[OCCarly]

Crossdressing may not compare to cancer, but being transgender does in some ways. By the time I got diagnosed and decided to do a medical gender transition, I had been suffering panic attacks for ten years, and they had turned dangerous. They started to manifest as Roemheld Syndrome, a nasty disorder where enteric reflux causes spasms and nerve impulses in the esophagus that affect heart function either through the vagus nerve or through esophageal spasms physically interfering with the heart.

And the impact of a gender transition on a spouse is similar to the effect of cancer. My wife's best friend married a guy who got colon cancer. He had to undergo chemo and radiation and a colostomy. It made him sterile and changed his body. He later developed heart disease and went on Spironolactone, the same stuff I take to kill my testosterone. That stuff ended his sex life and feminized his body.

Sometimes when people are not so understanding about my transition, I tell them: "Think of it as a cure for a really severe anxiety disorder that has some side effects."

But does crossdressing compare? If you think it does, maybe you want to reconsider where you are on the gender spectrum, and whether you need to see a gender therapist. Because for me gender transition is a very serious medical situation, every bit as serious as dealing with cancer.

[Beverley Sims]

Cancer can be sorta' terminal, dressing is not.

Don't encourage cancer by partaking in dangerous lifestyles but, enjoy your dressing and stay well.

[Rachelakld]

One of the reasons I'm fitter and healthier than a lot of 24 year old males, is thanks to my interest with cross dressing.

[Laura912]

I can understand the OP's analogy to cancer although some other immovable force might have been better. We have all either personally experienced or had family and friends who have dealt with that disease which may make us a little sensitive to that sort of analogy. Yes, cross dressing seems to have an unknown cause, never goes away, may progress, and when intensifies, can lead to stress in other systems. For some, the only cure is to find their correct gender and permanently change to it.

[Rachael Leigh]

No I can't compare this to cancer nor being an achoholic or any such thing, the more I understand it's most likely we are born with these traits, they don't always come out so dramatically but I think it's a part of us. Supressing them can cause
problems in the long term. Is there a cure maybe but not likely

[CONSUELO]

A friend of mine recently died of cancer. The expense and pain of his treatments were severe and he lasted not more than a year from the diagnosis.

I think he would have preferred to live as a cross dresser than to have his life cut off at a young age. Being a transvestite is not a terminal illness.

Depression is treatable and the cost of treatment is much cheaper and less painful than that for cancer. Go and find some help. Believe me it will be worth it.

[Sara Jessica]

Crossdressing may not compare to cancer, but being transgender does in some ways.

While I cannot disagree with what you are saying in that being TG/TS can prove fatal in a number of respects. It is still a bit of a stretch though to liken it to a disease such as cancer. Ramp up my own GID 1000 times and I'd still rather deal with that over facing cancer again.

OP specifically said CDing which I found to be a ridiculous and offending analogy.

[Gillian Gigs]

Sorry, but I find this comparision is one hairs breath away from being offensive. I have lost several family members to cancer, and they didn't choose, ask for, or indulge in this as a past time. Some of us on this site are CDers, some TS, and/or TG, whether we choose this life, or it choose us, it is a result of what is going on between ours ears. It is not a malignancy that too often kills. I enjoy crossdressing, if I didn't, I would probably stop as I usually stop doing what I don't like doing.

[Stephanie47]

I wish everyone would just not get their panties in a bind. It's too bad some find the OP's comment as offensive. Maybe the OP just does not know exactly how to articulate her feelings in this political correctness world. I know exactly what the OP is saying. Poor analogy? Maybe. Surely to some. Yes, my world too would be a lot simpler than if I were not a cross dresser. Yes, the physical body may not be ravished and destroyed by disease, but, it seems to take a serious toll on the mental well being of many cross dressers and/or their spouses and families.

That being said, yes, I watched my father die of renal cancer and it was not pretty. The pain and suffering he had lasted for months, but, the pain and suffering of some around him lasted for decades.

And, my wife is currently battling "triple negative" breast cancer. I cannot image what is really going through her mind. I've had experiences during my life that I truly wish nobody would have to deal with. They are lasting. They are intrusive everyday. I know unless you have experienced these traumas in life, you really don't know.

[NZ_Dawn]

Certainly cant argue with how you feel OR your opinion and that's OK. I though, have metastatic Bowel cancer (Liver) and have been diagnosed terminal (I think they got the calendar dates wrong somehow and I'm still here!! but I don't see any comparison or see how crossdressing or being TG/TS is like cancer. Maybe comparing or contrasting to something else?

[Amy Fakley]

Hell, it was the cancer cure that started me on my way to being another me, somewhat happier and a lot more complicated!

Wow! You too?!
While I'd been dealing with my gender issues my whole life, I didn't really come to accept myself for who I really was until I was recovering from cancer (pancreatic). 7 years ago in April.

I've not read through the whole thread yet, and I'm sure others have said this as well ... there really and truly is no comparison. Slowly dying by way of your organs failing one by one, while undergoing treatment that is in many ways literally a foretaste of the very death you are desperately trying to forestall ... it's not even remotely the same thing as dying by way of depression and suicide because of who you are, and the society you live in.

They are different things. Both are survivable, and the treatments required to survive both of them can be life changing and tough to endure. I'd say that's about where the similarity ends.

See a councellor, hun.
Unlike cancer, you don't HAVE to feel bad.

[SarahleeNH]

Stage 3 lymphoma for me. I'm not offende by the analogy, but it is truly a poor one imho. Recognizing and accepting my non-binary self has so many positives, and I find myself smiling as I think about expressing my true self. But I can't think of any positive elements for cancer. Just saying... but I know that no offense was meant and I do understand the point intended.

[joandher]

Hi I'm sorry,but i don't think you know what living with cancer is like. My wife battled with Cancer for ten years until last year , when the Good Lord took her ,

after 44 years of very happy marriage , and i wouldn't wish this on anybody.

[Heather Chasen]

Sabrina , thats a load of tosh. Cancer very nearly killed me in just a few months and although I did beat it I will never be the same again. crossdressing may have caused me some problems but its never caused me to start planing my funeral !! GET REAL

[AllieSF]

Stage 3 lymphoma for me. I'm not offende by the analogy, but it is truly a poor one imho. Recognizing and accepting my non-binary self has so many positives, and I find myself smiling as I think about expressing my true self. But I can't think of any positive elements for cancer. Just saying... but I know that no offense was meant and I do understand the point intended.

I am with you Sarah. Bad comparison but not bad enough to take such great offense when none was intentionally meant. Life is too short to blow up over something like this. There are issues of much greater importance that are not getting our full attention. Please let this one slide.

[Ressie]

When the doctor leaves a message that you have to call back you know something is up. "You've got cancer" isn't something they leave on voicemail. Then when he tells you the diagnosis, an overwhelming fear hits you.

Comparing that to crossdresssing just isn't right.

[Lana Mae]

Bad comparison! Apples to oranges! Get help with your depression! CDing is not a curse! it is who you are! It will not go away. You must deal with it! My dad died from kidney cancer, which is totally different from depression. I am not offended. I know that sometimes it is hard to express what you mean to others! Again get help with the depression! Hugs Lana Mae

[Confucius]

I am sorry that you equate crossdressing with cancer, and although most people on this forum will not agree with you, you are being honest with yourself. I respect your right to equate them.

I would encourage you to reconsider that the "host has no control". Have you ever skipped crossdressing for a day? If so, then you do have some control. You may not have as much control as you'd wish, but you do have some control. I know crossdressers who have stopped crossdressing for years. Thorin operates a website, "healingCD" that encourages crossdressers to quit. Personally, I don't think the urge to crossdress can be "cured", but you can stop simply by strength of your will.

I also believe that you can place boundaries on your own crossdressing. Perhaps you can limit your crossdressing to the most important items, or you can limit it by keeping it within the privacy of your home. Everyone uses their own limits based upon their needs and expectations.

[JeanTG]

Confucius, I'm among those who stopped for many years. And yes I can control it in the sense that I can pick appropriate times to dress, and not dress at inappropriate times. The latter can cause some minor frustrations when for instance my normal appropriate times to dress are somehow interfered with.

But stopping for extended periods has its cost. I would say that stopping for many years very nearly cost me my marriage. Why? Because my frustration came out in the form of anger. And also anger from not being able to accept myself.

As for comparing crossdressing to cancer, well, it's a free country I suppose, so we can say what we want, but I do think that the comparison trivializes the suffering of those who have had cancer, or have lost loved ones to cancer.

I do see that crossdressing has elements of an obsession or perhaps a compulsion. But not cancer. Not even close.

[TrishaLake]

My wife had breast cancer a few years back and a very rare form. The worry for the partner is sometimes worse than those going through it. My kids suffered as well. Thank god today she is fine but still holds mental scars from the disease and of course you never know.

I will say, I do understand your point. as many have written probably not the greatest analogy but I understand. I too wish sometimes I was something else but have learned to love being me and that includes Trisha. Go see someone good at gender therapy, it will change your life.