Childhood dressing a refuge?

[penny lace]

Having had a very negative/ poor childhood for various reasons and my cross dressing originating from when i was around ten years old I wondered if the origins are as a refuge from the harshness of reality?
I still see dressing very much as a refuge and wondered whether anyone else see's similar origins?

[NewBrendaLee]

I am the same waway.For me it was a great stress reliver. It still is.

[St Lisa]

Hmm I had a pretty good childhood and still liked to put on my mother's clothes when I could. Dressing was very spotty for me and just picked up again somewhat recently but there is a comfort in it for sure. A bit of "coming home" or being wrapped in a warm blanket feeling.

[ClosetED]

You can't fully blame it on childhood experiences. Many non-CDers may have been thru the same things, but did not become crossdressers. It may require the combination of a genetic difference and that experience, which for some may come much later in life.
Hugs, Ellen

[suzanne]

I've thought a lot about this. Someone who knew my family when I was young might think my relationship with my abusive father drove me to identify more with my mother and her dresses. Maybe. But I think it's equally likely that my father was abusive toward me because he saw me as not manly enough and tried to berate the girly part out of existence. (So which came first, the chicken or the egg?) As if that works, but that was the 60's and 70s, so no better theories existed. All he succeeded to do was drive me into the closet and make me good at covering my tracks, a familiar story I'm sure.

[Amy Lynn3]

Can't speak for everyone, but I was compelled to wear my sisters panties, prior to my brain recording the events. My sister and Mom told me that when my sister ran out of panties they knew to look under my mattress for them. When old enough for my brain to record memories, I remember putting on my Mothers open bottom girdle and hide so she could not find me. The rest is history after that, as the desire has never gone away. Hope that helps.

[Teresa]

Penny,
I have to agree with Ellen, a poor childhood will have an effect on you personality but without the female trait it's unlikely it would induce Cding. My childhood up bringing had no connection with the combination of events that started my CDing. Somehow we manage to dress no matter what the circumstances are but that creates the degrees of shame and guilt we may feel at that time.

[sara66]

Penny,
I think it is like everything in life, every situation is different, with an array of cause and effects. For me, my childhood was good. I just happened to find my mom's bra. POOF! I became a crossdressers. No real single event trigger. Just one thing leading to the next.
Sara

[Michelle2016]

I started with my mothers denim skirt and then I was involved in different stage productions where I played women mostly and that's what really got me into it. Loads of girls donated clothes to me that they were going to throw out so I was delighted! 😍

[Confucius]

Yes, it was a refugee. In my case my mother wanted a daughter when I was born. I was a disappointment to her. However, when I was just six months old she became pregnant again. This time my sister was born, and my mother would tell us it was the happiest day of her life. My sister became my mother's pampered princess and I grew up thinking that my mother would love me more if I was a girl. In fact, I believed that all parents preferred daughters because girls were just nicer and never caused any problems for parents. So by the time I was three years old I was crossdressing. For me it was just a way of fixing my world. Crossdressing was my way of achieving super powers. It was not until I reached puberty that I discovered that my world view wasn't shared by my male peers.

[Becky Blue]

Of course one can only talk for oneself, I had a completely normal childhood, started dressing at 12 but used to play pretend I was a girl from age 5. For reasons unknown I felt the compulsion to dress but it was never to escape from anything.

It does seem logical that an unhappy boy may seek to escape by pretending he was a girl, just like lonely kids often have imaginary friends for company.

[Lana Mae]

I can see your point but there is really much more involved with CDing! It is either/both how the brain is wired or hormonal influence or who knows! I can understand the comforting effect of dressing! I have felt it often enough! Hugs Lana Mae

[Dana44]

I see it as a stress reliever. Not so much as refuge, but I had a hard childhood also. But was somewhat successful. Now i write novels and it iis nice to be fem.

[Judy-Somthing]

I would say I had a good childhood, I've always envied girls in the way they dressed.

[TrishaLake]

My childhood stunk as well, but lately I think this is who I am , that is just a excuse for it. I feel I am 60/40 male female...just my thoughts..

[Melissa73]

I had a wondereful childhood! less responsibilities more fun. But my dressing came not for any reason but because I got the "urge." Home alone, watching TV....... something, idk what, compelled me to get up and go to my sister's room, where I found a dress and put it on. from there I wanted more.... panties, socks, bras.... No explanation..... just knowing that when I dressed, the urge faded... now I dress 90% of my life (and only when I work am I in men's clothing

[IleneD]

I hated my childhood; absolutely hated nearly every day of it.
I've been censored by the board mods TWICE when describing life prior to leaving home.
My family and extended family were mostly immigrant laborers in the mills and mines; rough men and most of the adult men of my childhood fought in WWII or Korea; the 50s & 60s. They never failed to remind (mock) me that I was a sissy. Looking back I obviously was a sissy but didn't deserve the abuse; physical or verbal.
I wish before my Dad had passed away; God bless his immortal soul, I had told him how much I hated being a kid. I knew noting good would come of it, and swallowed the thought.

[sometimes_miss]

a poor childhood will have an effect on you personality but without the female trait it's unlikely it would induce Cding.
We can't be sure. Children will do all kinds of things to distract them from having to think about bad situations in life. Perhaps just being curious and trying on mom's or sister's clothes that might be easily available could become a habit which may progress into something else, especially for those who continue to do it when sexual desires become frequent. There are all kinds of things that can contribute to the desire to crossdress.

[penny lace]

Thanks for all the responses and it is good to understand that others have the same comfort from dressing even without the history of seeking an escape or refuge.
I am past thinking of myself as a bad person and try to accept and understand myself.
Love you all !

Penny

[Teresa]

Lexi,
Without dressing curiosity most kids would go in other directions with a harsh upbringing, some talk of certain criminals being born with defective genes so maybe they might get into petty crime as a prelude more serious criminal acts as they get older. I can recall a few kids going down that road in my junior school, also a harsh childhood often affects the quality of education , as we all know there are some brilliant criminal minds . On the other extreme if physical violence is part of their childhood they may evolve from victims to the aggressor .

[steffigirl37]

I don't think my childhood was poor, although my desire to cross dress did originate at that time. Cross dressing as a child to me was down right scary. I was so afraid I was going to be caught, didn't understand why I was doing this and yet the desire was so great I couldn't resist. It wasn't until my late teenage years that I was able to research what exactly was going on, which helped me understand, somewhat. It wasn't until at least 20 years later that it became a stress reliever.

[Barbara Black]

I was never happy during my childhood. Perhaps having three sisters made me paranoid about being different than them and regretting it? I have always felt different from everyone else, including boys, whom I couldn't keep up with or associate with very easily. And of course, as mentioned above, maybe it's the 'chicken and the egg' thing, that I was different to begin with, causing these other difficulties in associating with others.

[Ashley090]

I had good childhood too no need to run away from anything. I just was always curious about all that female clothing, so why not try it on? And thus when i zipped on first time evening gown and slip on some heels then something hidden shifted and I end as I am today. Also during childhood i alway tend to play more with girls, during school same mostbof my friends were girls, I had more in common and had more things to talk about with them.
But I heard one so called "study" saying that if child grow up without father (same as me) from young age then he tends to be more as his mother. They didnt explain why, neither how serious that research was.

[CONSUELO]

I had a happy and mostly normal childhood. But I grew up in a household with a Mother and three older sisters and a Father who was at work seemingly all the time. I began to dress early and would do so whenever I was left alone, which was quite often as both parents and sisters worked and during school holidays I was on my own with a list of tasks to take care of. I remember my Father being concerned that I was too sissy. So, rather than as escape from harsh surroundings it was an adventure into wonderful sensations.
During several sessions with a psychologist she mentioned to me that many of her cross dressing clients sought comfort in dressing and saw it as a sort of refuge from the demands of male life.

[Beverley Sims]

I had a happy childhood, sometimes I would play a prince and then the girls in the group wanted to take charge and I was relegated to princess on most occasions.

Or was that promoted to princess? :-)

[Petra1]

Being sexually abused for nine years growing up may have had something to do with my CDing but who really knows? I didn't start until I was about 12 or 13.

[NikiMichelle]

I, personally, do not subscribe to that theory because I had a very normal upbringing and I started cross dressing around age four. I had no idea why I did what I did then nor did I know what harsh reality was. But that is my opinion only...