My GF just just told me she had enough with my dressing

[Richelle423]

My gf txt me today that i should buy a bed because she's gonna clear out a spare room because she's totally done with my dressing. I feel horrified but I feel that CDing for me isn't an event for me but a part of my normal life.atleast for now I'm not getting thrown out into to cold. Wish me luck ladies....

[DIANEF]

Sorry to hear of your troubles Richelle. Maybe things will settle down and, as you say, you haven't been thrown out. Keep us informed and best wishes.
Diane

[Dana44]

it could mean that you have dressed too often for her and she wants you to go back to being a male. Mine did that and I back off for like a week. LOL but the next week no problem. But I only dress from Thursday until Monday morning. Hope the best for you Richelle.

[Diane Taylor]

Richelle, I'm truly sorry to hear that your girlfriend wants nothing to do with your crossdressing. Sadly there are many females who feel the same way. A relationship will suffer one way or the other when someone is not accepting of your dressing. You probably have a difficult choice to make.....stay with this girl and not have any freedom to dress as you please or split up and start all over with someone else. Best of luck to you in this situation..........

[suzanne]

Sorry to hear about your relationship woes. I really hope this is just a temporary thing for you, as it appears to have been for Dana. If not, you should consider the possibility that the relationship is over. She does not respect you in your entirety and, let's face it, your dressing will probably never be purged completely. It's a cycle that will lead you both to a life of misery.

[Tama]

Wow...Hang in there...you seem to have a good (better then I would but, I'd be out in the cold by now) attitude with this setback. I believe all you can do is continue with a good attitude and, things can only get better right? right!

[Kelly DeWinter]

"totally done with your crossdressing" sounds like a statement that means something has changed with regards to your dressing that she has issues with. Whats changed since your earlier posts ?

[Jaylyn]

Sometimes we guys that dress seem to let our romance get put on the back burner. GG's simply want a man sometimes. My wife has stayed with me because I realize we married as a man and her the women so we should honor that first. I believe our marriage commitment should be honored first then my dressing can take second place. We are both in our older years and my dressing while raising kids and all of their activities then always came first. You might want to ease off just a little and pay her more attention or the cold might be the next step. I really don't know enough about your situation to know the real why, so my speculations are only guesses or advice if that is the case.

[alwayshave]

Richelle, I'm very sorry for your situation. I hope that it all works out for you.

[docrobbysherry]

They say, "It ain't over 'till it's over." Hopefully, you'll know when that is and move on, Richelle?

And, I guess that's what life's all about!

[GaleWarning]

Having your own room is her way of providing you with a safe space where you can crossdress without it being in her space or face. It's a thoughtful move on her part. Time for you to be kind and thoughtful in return.

[IleneD]

Richelle, dear.
Good luck with it working out.
One of the lessons learned on this forum is that the best and easiest stage of a relationship with a woman to gain acceptance of CD is EARLY AS POSSIBLE. I seems the gals who come out after years of marriage have a much more difficult time getting full acceptance from spouses (or long term GF). The CDs, and usually younger CD, that succeed in male-female relationships have a partner who is non-judgmental to the point of enthusiasm.

This may be a sign. You and I know your Inner Femme and the desire to dress isn't going away. Good luck. I hope your girlfriend has an epiphany and things works out for you. I really do.

[sometimes_miss]

Having your own room is her way of providing you with a safe space where you can crossdress without it being in her space or face. It's a thoughtful move on her part. Time for you to be kind and thoughtful in return.
Her removing him from her bedroom is a huge problem, though. Symbolically, it's a big change in the relationship. Richelle, if you want this relationship to continue, you're going to have to make some immediate changes. If you can live with a DADT situation, put your stuff in a box and don't ever mention it, because it seems like she doesn't want to see it. Sometimes things can return to normal if you keep the 800 pound gorilla in another building so she can pretend it doesn't exist. And NEVER bring up the subject. Might work. The question becomes, will it work, and can you live with it that way? Lots of us have to make that choice. Looking back, if I had the chance, that's the way I should have gone once it became clear my wife had a problem with it. Might have worked, might not have. But keeping it out in the open DIDN'T WORK, at least not for me.
Remember too, your chances of finding a woman who is not only compatible with you but also accepting of your crossdressing is virtually nil to NONE. Here you go. Less than 1 out of 100 will even possibly accept a crossdresser. That means you'll have to date about 100 women to find ONE that MIGHT accept you. Now, how many women that you date, would you want to, again? Do you date hundreds of women? If not, your odds are terrible.
So I would do whatever it takes to make her happy if you really like her. It's not her fault that you're a crossdresser, and it's not her fault that she was brought up believing that masculine is for men and feminine is for women. It's very hard for people to change their belief system. For most, it never happens.
I wish you good luck.

[Teresa]

Richelle,
It's not all bad news, at least she hasn't moved out or kicked you out depending on whose house it is. She is prepared to stay with you even if you sleep in separate rooms. I know that's not an ideal situation but at least you can try and sort the problem and find some common ground.

To most of us it is an integral part of our being, we can't stop for whatever reason, so you just have to think it through and decide what you what from it in the future, are you comfortable with the situation now or will you need more ? She has a right to know those facts, before you make promises you can't keep.

[Heidi Stevens]

Be very and up front with her about dressing from this point forward. For nearly every one of us, cross dressing is like being in the mafia: you just don't quit. You can really try to suppress your urge to dress and do things like purge, but the need never goes away. You may be able to go for years, but the felling to dress will come back.
You need to have a talk with her and discuss how you can do your thing and still keep her happy. You may have to go DADT and carry on with your life. But she needs to know this need does not go away, you will need an outlet. Good luck.

[CarlaWestin]

I've found over the years that when this proclamation is exclaimed, they want it all their way but don't want to lose a penny of support.
Like, you should feel lucky to be living with me!
Lived this numerous times so my advice is from the point of view of a seasoned CD.
Go find someone that really cares about the real you.

[Stephanie47]

Recently in your post concerning jury duty you indicated you do not own any male clothes anymore. You did mention you did not wear a bra to jury duty. If you're on the level with the jury duty post, i.e., no male clothes it would seem most women are going to tire of the cross dressing. That is a lot for any women to digest. Did you ever consider having a discussion with her of this progression. I am assuming when you and her first met you were presenting as a male.

Anyway, if you're totally into dressing 100% of the time as a woman you are essentially denying her any 100% male companionship. Frankly, if I were her I would have had a conversation with you a long time ago. "Where did my man go?" If there is no accommodation, if I were her I'd be long gone.

[sweetdreams]

Remember too, your chances of finding a woman who is not only compatible with you but also accepting of your crossdressing is virtually nil to NONE. Here you go. Less than 1 out of 100 will even possibly accept a crossdresser. That means you'll have to date about 100 women to find ONE that MIGHT accept you. Now, how many women that you date, would you want to, again? Do you date hundreds of women? If not, your odds are terrible.


Sometimes_miss, I don't agree with your estimates at all. In my life I've shared my CDing with 3 GGs. Every one had some appetite for it. SO is OK and our relationship continues to evolve in a positive way. Previous GF was actually turned on by it. If I was dressed up she couldn't last more than about 15 minutes before we were in the bedroom. There are GGs out there who are willing to be a part of this. Having a relationship with someone who CDs requires a different attitude and a willingness to redefine traditional relationships. It's not for everyone but I know there are GGs who are OK with this. I believe I've attracted those to me who are accepting. Those who aren't don't show up in my life. Just my philosophy.

I think a lot has to do with how you deal with it. Are you confused about it, embarrassed and apologetic? Does it become an event where mostly you are focused on the crossdressing rather than engaged with your SO (I've done this at times - it's bad)?

Personally I wouldn't be in a relationship that didn't accommodate my CDing. I can't live like that, but that's the decision I made and it's not for everyone, just my path.

[~Joanne~]

I am curious as to who's name is on the house/apartment/??? cause if it's yours.......

[AllieSF]

Richelle, I would love to hear what has happened since you started this post. Do you financially need to stay with her? If her statement comes true and she wants you to sleep in a separate room, then what kind of relationship is that and is that acceptable to you? If I have a girl friend I expect to sleep in the same bed with her, at the same time! Now if I had been in a very long term relationship where sex is more or less out of the question and one of us snores, then that may be acceptable. Have a good open conversation with her when she returns. Good luck.

[CONSUELO]

This sounds like a half-way house to somewhere. You need to be prepared for the next phase.

[FrankieB]

I think that we need more details here, so that we have more idea of the extent of your CDing and your GFs attitude.
First and foremost you're her man. Has that gone? Why?

[SabrinaEmily]

Dump her. Don't spend your life with someone who hates you for who you are. You can do so much better.


Less than 1 out of 100 will even possibly accept a crossdresser.

Even if that were true, 1 in 100 or so of those born male are somewhere on the transgender spectrum, with a sizeable chunk of those not interested in women. So I don't see the problem, as far as numbers. Now it's a bit harder for those people to find each other, but the internet makes it drastically easier. (And I don't mean mainstream dating sites.)

[laura47]

The spare room is not the answer ... it is the problem

Divorced 2X due to other reasons ... but CDing did not help ....

[GaleWarning]

The spare room is not the answer ... it is the problem

Divorced 2X due to other reasons ... but CDing did not help ....

I disagree. My SO and I share a flat with two bedrooms. One is my space, where I go whenever she or I needs to be alone for whatever reason. I am there now, peacefully perusing this website. Most times, we sleep together in her room. Her attitude to me and my idiosyncrasies is improving.