Opinions changed! BIG TIME!

[xNicolex]

OK so I was in the office today and it was almost home time, when a story about a crossdresser came up :eek: the guys started to talk about this CDer who was using public transport and lets just say doing something inappropriate to himself in public :eek: Now anytime I hear about a fellow CDer being dissed I am usually quick to remind people that nobodies perfect. , but it really annoys me when Cder's do things that don't help our public image i.e in this extreme case pleasuring yourself on a bus :Angry3: Anyway after they stopped ragging on that story they spoke about the LGBT community in general and it was pretty clear what they all thought about it they really dislike us, sad to say that the respect I had for those people 24hrs ago is now entirely gone.

[docrobbysherry]

Caitlyn and I keep telling everyone that we don't represent the "community". But, on one seems to listens---:straightface:

[raxdress]

Indeed, all it takes is one freak that does something stupid and then everyone thinks we're all freaks.

[Mgreenva]

Everyone thinks it's all sexual. It took me years to convince my wife I find it relaxing and very comfortable.

[Suzie Petersen]

Nicole,
Do not judge them for they know no better.
Instead, find ways to educate them.

- Suzie

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nicole,
I guess you can please some of the people, some
of the time... other times????
Being a part of that conversation with your
coworkers had to be difficult.
How do you show support for the LGBT community with
the conversation starting over an extremely negative image like that?
Perverts are found in every community, unfortunately when it's one of "us"
it makes a major headline.
Keep you're head held high knowing the truth!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Nadia Wren]

I came out to a friend that thought cd's were perverted. She is single and was worried about her young son taking an interest in her shoes and dresses. When she was a teenager a man wearing lingerie in a car exposed himself to her and another one of her friends and she was worried her son would follow in that track of behavior. She was surprised at my admission and didn't hold it against me. It was just a phase for her son, I think.... Over time in conversation with wine, she realizes now that her unfortunate experience was isolated. So there is always hope.

[DarthDaddicus]

Just throwing this out there because I've been an undercover woman without knowing it for a long time. When the guys would watch sports, if you didn't know what they were talking about, the alpha males would look at you funny and chat it up with their buddies instead. This is just another thing guys do, I suppose. I started paying attention to the Kentucky Wildcats because guests would ask me who won the game, and I would get such a dirty look when I said, "What game?" So, there's this built-up pressure in society in general, not just in the straight community. These folks who began talking bad about the LGBQT community to one another may very well harbor different beliefs, but they don't want to be ostracized. I remember just a few months ago, before I even realized I was actually a transgender woman, whenever I moved or talked a certain way, and the man I was talking to would look at me differently, that I would play it off so they wouldn't think I was gay because I know that's what they were thinking just by the quick move back and the "What the?!" look on their face.
Just consider the social pressures on each of us before being too angry with your co-workers. One of them may be one of us, but still in the closet. I know when I first came to this small town, a gay man referred to his wife, and I stopped suddenly and said, "Wife? You're gay. Why do you have a wife?" He replied, "I'm not gay!" I checked myself quickly because I remembered I was in a town which didn't promote acceptance of those things. Yes, he actually married a woman just to hide it. He has since divorced and has become a lot more comfortable with himself in our little town now that he realizes there are plenty of people who love him just the same anyway. He once spoke out against the LGBQT community while in public as well. I didn't socialize with him because of this, but I also harbored no ill feelings toward him. I just knew he had to deal with his own personal growth in his own time. We all do.

[Tracii G]

Darth I run into the same thing I never know when the Wildcats play because I don't follow basketball !!! Shocking to some people thats for sure.
Being from Ky you are expected to be a fan. I just went to school there and never was a huge sports fan.
Same thing about how you vote too like you said my gay and trans friends have a hissy fit when they find out I am the "C" word. OMG.
I have been in Corbin so many times and I'm sure people think I'm an oddball but they have always nice to me.

The CD on the public transport needs to be dealt with legally as anyone else.

[Ashley090]

Are you sude he/she way a cd? Bcs doing whole dressing thing for sexual pleasure isn't definition of cd from what i know, but whatever floats your boat. Issue here is when "we" act like we wanna be part of "normal" ppl then they don't care THAT much but one person do something like that, then all go crazy abou it and start insult everybody. Anyway,I dont wanna judge anyone but this action is inappropriate no matter of what it were wearing.
Glad that we atleast have no rules that would deny CD from using public transport :D
Anyway, that is why I dont want be count amongs males. They are labeled as sexual deviants doing weirdest and worst things.

[Emma1]

If your friends had seen a non-crossdresser pleasuring himself on public transportation, I doubt they would have come to the conclusion that all non-crossdressers are perverts :)

[eire emma]

Hi Nicole. I read about that person alright. It was pretty disgusting and sad. As regards your coworkers, I know where you're coming from. I work in a nearly all male environment. Close minded wouldn't even begin to describe some of them. It can be hard but ya just have to get on with it. And it is best to keep your own lifestyle to yourself. Unfortunately some people you just can't get through to. 😔

[Heidi Stevens]

Nicole, welcome to the human race. People who are misinformed about a group will disparage them. It's all due to the deeds of a bad actor from the bunch that taints the lot. Unfortunately, when it's one of our own doing the deed, we just condemn him and not all of us as a whole, like we do with other groups.
So how do you stop it? Educating the ignorant and practicing your own tolerance and understanding.
In your case, you could have pointed out that this person should have been arrested for his acts no matter what he had on and said most people are really kind and respectful if you get to know them. Good luck.

[mykell]

hi nicole, sounds like classic group speak, no one wants to dissent from the consensus....there by enabling bigotry in general.

i have shared this story here a few times, sometimes i work projects with groups.....on one particular project i had worked with a team who worked regularly together for a few days, the person i was teamed with one particular day asked if i was assigned to the team the following week, i said no and he referenced some person that gets assigned to them often, i said i had no knowledge of this person and he went on to call them "that freak", i still did not understand the reference so they now assigned them that person that thinks he is a women..... i thought for a second and exclaimed to him "really thats to bad we have a that freak in my family"....it was priceless to watch him try to squirm out of him previous statements, i did afford him the opportunity to back out and added that i too felt differently until i had educated myself as it was a family member and understand it better now, we then finished up our task for the day....now of coarse i was referring to myself as the family member but how would they know that.....

as far as the person on the bus.....its different strokes for different folks.....no need to disparage anyone who has a different need than our own, sharing it with the general public at large, some seem to have no humility and like to share a little too much but ill assume you have penalties there for those who do no matter how they dress....

[Pat]

It seems like you need to break the incident down -- there are at least two things going on in the story: the person is crossdressing, which is legal, moral, etc. AND the person is engaging in lewd behavior, which is not legal, moral, etc. The latter is a problem no matter how you're dressed. So you could ask if it would have been different for them if the guy was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt boosting their favorite sports team? What if he was dressed for whatever team they choose to dislike? (There's always one, right?)

[Geena Gee]

A very public display of auto-erotic pleasure is no more acceptable than a multitude of other behaviors. However, it is because of individual's narrow mindedness that we have to persevere.