Need some advice

[Peach13]

Hi ladies

Recently this side of me is consuming my life. I can't go a day without doing something, painting nails, underdressing, ankle bracelet, make up, that reminds me I need to pack my ankle bracelet for travelling!

I'm lucky that I have an accepting wife but I can sense she is noticing how frequent I'm doing something. As someone mentioned on my previous post that I need to be sure to be her man also. Easier said than done at the moment.

What I want to know is this just a serious case of pink fog or as I'm getting older and more accepting of myself is this side of me changing and overpowering the male side of me?

It's all a bit frieghtening right now as the urge never been this strong.

Peach x

[Geena Gee]

Peach,
Sometimes the urges get a little distracting. If your wife is accepting of your choice to CD, and I assume that there is a normal "hetero" relationship there, it comes to a matter of self control and moderation. If your wife is amenable, become a bit of a voyeur. Do a 'girl's' day with the wife. Pick out an outfit for her, help with her makeup, etc.
I would suggest doing all of that while in your male persona, to make things more comfortable for both of you.
Life is always more complicated when you have to consider other people's feelings and desires.

[Rachael Leigh]

Peach from my point of view it does get scary and I can attest that as we become more accepting of this part of ourselves
we tend to become comfortable and I think that leads to doing more things en fem or wanting to do things while dressed.
It's happend to me and the fact I go out probably increases it for me
I know I won't ever transition but I do know I fall under the trans umbrella as gender fluid.
So as we get older does it increase I think maybe

[docrobbysherry]

My feeling is go with your urges and explain them to your SO. Work out a schedule if u need to.

If I deprive myself I find the urges INCREASE!:doh:

[Stephanie Julianna]

At your age I had crashed out of the closet into the crossdressing world of NYC. With guidance from one of the great leaders of the scene from the 60's to his death in 2000, Lee Brewster, I did a lot to feminize my appearance during that time so that I could pass in public. I dabbled with hormones, tweezed my brows, shaved all over and managed my weight to achieve the look I craved. I was married barely 10 years and had three children and was on a one way trip to SRS. Amazingly, it was Lee who always reminded me that I had made a commitment to my wife and children to be there for them. So I drew back a bit and with a very understanding wife, (not the same as accepting) I found the right place for Steph in my life. There are some telltale signs left over from that period that I can mostly explain away to the uninitiated but they are there permanently. The payback is a fairly balanced life where I can enjoy Steph at times and more importantly enjoy my children and 7 grandchildren who I have a very close relationship with. My wife is a saint, period. You obviously are in that early place I was in and could use a Lee Brewster in your life like I enjoyed. We are here for you and like I have offered to many girls here, you can PM me for advice or just a sympathetic ear. I've been there and I know how hard it can be and still is at times for me even after all these years. Steph

[suzanne]

What Leigh said. It's all about becoming more comfortable. Hopefully, your wife is also able to maintain the same comfort level as you go forward.

[Fiona123]

The need to dress (to present as feminine/female) has really increased for me. The tension between the desire to express my feminine side and being closeted has resulted in bouts of depression. I consider myself transgender. I have started seeing a gender therapist. He is totally supportive.

[Rachelakld]

I think as we get older, we become more accepting.
I've lost the fog recently thanks to a week of holiday life at the beach (kayaking etc), then recently a tour of some Lord of the Rings area in NZ
I know the fog will return, but in the mean time I'm enjoying man time (mostly).

[GretchenM]

I'm with Stephanie. When you first really dig into this behavioral trait, I think it is all so exciting and different that you get really wrapped up in it and the freedom of expression that you have discovered. Sort of like getting a new toy, but this is no toy for many of us. As time goes on you find your comfort zone and I am convinced there is no way to determine beforehand where that will be. In time we tend to find balances with other responsibilities and commitments. I think this is the process of comfortably incorporating this part of your total identity into your life. I sense that with most, as they go through the development, which may span a few years, things become more balanced. I think that is what Steph was getting at in her very nice reply. Four years ago I went "nuts" when I came out - not crazy nuts, but obsessive nuts and it occupied nearly all my thinking for six months. Then it began to settle into a more comfortable zone, but was still quite variable and often lost control and perspective. It took about 18 months to really find the comfort zone for me which is the place where things of life are more or less in balance. But that is just me; I am sure many follow the same pattern, but others follow very different patterns. We are all different and that is the beauty of all of this. Just give it time to settle into a comfortable place in your life, whatever that might be. You are perhaps in the exploratory stage and that may explain why the needs and the sense is so strong and consuming. Having a supportive wife is a big, big plus. So long as you remember that you need to have some degree of balance in all of it, you and your brain or maybe it is just your brain will continue to adapt to this new part of you and your journey.

[BrendaPDX]

Hi Peach, My "urges" come in waves, some only last a couple of days, sometimes it lasts weeks at a time. You are very fortunate to have a SO that is accepting of your crossdressing. I can't say weather I want my "urges" to go away, it's been in my life for so long now, it is a part of me. To answer your question I don't know if it increase or not, I know that there are many here of all ages. Take care, Brenda

[Karen RHT]

Achieving "balance" in our lives, is a challenge for many of us Peach. Similar to yourself, my wife is somewhat accepting, but she has told me that I overdo it at times. Even though I'm retired from full time employment, I lead an active lifestyle. I've discovered is that when I'm not involved with my other activities, I tend to allow my crossdressing to run a bit wild. Fortunately I'm capable of self discipline and usually exercise it. Then again, every once in awhile...well you know what I mean, I'm human. :)


Karen

[Jess S.]

Peach,
Wish I could help but I am in exactly the same boat.

[Diane Taylor]

I think that as you get older and learn to accept yourself more, the urge will become greater but there will still be hills and valleys.

[Ally 2112]

A little bit at a time do not push it no matter how bad you want it . If you push to much and lose control your wife could push back and things could get very complicated .Been through it .Hope all the best !

[Tracii G]

Learn to achieve a balance between your male and female urges.
At the moment you are acting like that person that won't stop talking about themselves at a party.
Keep it up and your wife is going to get tired of it.
Basically chill out some and let the pink fog clear out.
We have all been in your position once or twice so we know how it is.

[Ally 2112]

Yup what Tracii G said also