What a crazy year

[Ashley in Virginia]

So a year or so ago I posted this thread...

https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?234100-I-m-overwhelmed

Tl:dr... Life sucks, I'm miserable... Starting therapy... She says I'm trans, wtf.... Guess I'm doing the hormone thing... Things are getting better....

That's where I left everything off...

So the year since then has been pretty good. I went from not being not able to leave my house to going full time as of last Friday. I've learned alot about myself and where I fit in the world... And while I've got still a long way to go with things, I'm so happy I did this.

The biggest thing I've learned is that all the things I thought were wrong. All the negativity, all the hateful things I thought people were going to say and do, all the people I thought would hate me as much as I hated myself.... I was sooo ****ing wrong. I allowed myself to get sucked so far down into the rabbit hole of "what if" and "yeah but" that I forgot what living life and taking chances felt like. Life isn't near as bad as what I thought it was. I still have my kids, they embraced this quicker than I did. My ex and her family have jumped right on board and they have been very welcoming to Ashley. Work people so far seem good with it. I go back full time next Monday, but I'm not worried at all. I'm gonna be ok. People just don't give enough of a crap to care.

I hope that some of you that sit on the fence.... those that are miserable and just can't climb out into the sunshine, can see, maybe for a moment that it's not as bad as it seems. The people who love you will still love you. And those that never did, will become obvious and you can make your own decisions about where they fit in your life. Life is too short to not be real. I wasted 35+ years. Made numerous mistakes trying to hold onto this secret. I've hurt people I've loved and I've never let people in close to me. Don't be like I was.

Transition isn't for everyone, I'm not gonna say it is. But for me... I waited way to long and now I'm gonna try and enjoy life... I'm gonna live the ups and push thru the downs and I'm not going to leave anything on the table.

Now here's a shameless selfie... Lol. Ignore the mess in the car, it's my daughters car and she's a bit of a slob. :P

[Nicki_D]

That's such fantastic news Ashley! I'm so happy you have been able to blossom :) As someone who has suffered with depression in the past I can absolutely sympathise with the idea that you got stuck down that rabbit hole, and it's great to hear you've pulled yourself out. Keep on keeping on! x

[Lori Kurtz]

Congratulations on--to use your metaphor--climbing out into the sunshine. You look great. Much happiness to you in this new life.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Ashley:hugs:, What I am seeing here is a picture of a lovely young lady...:daydreaming:...

[Kelly DeWinter]

Ashley;

While its good news for you that transition is working out in all areas. Your suggestion that "I hope that some of you that sit on the fence.... those that are miserable and just can't climb out into the sunshine, can see, maybe for a moment that it's not as bad as it seems.". It CAN turn out very bad for most people. The possibility and probable of loss of family,friends and jobs are very real as many posts here attest. I've spoken to many people who know the outcome will be separation, divorce and worse.

Again, I'm happy things have worked out for you and this is not meant as criticism.

Kelly

[TrishaTX]

Good for you , positive in a negative world. I am not looking to transition fully, but we all have our steps and I agree you need to be happy with you. Keep us updated please...

[Rachael Leigh]

Ashely what a wonderful story, not all good but you have become a survivor and embraced something that is very difficult
I can't imagine what the girls in here go thru that choose your path but it's amazing to hear your story.
I hope as this new year continues more blessings will come your way.
Rachael Leigh

[Angie G]

Ashley you go girl. And keep us posted hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Becky Blue]

Great story Ashley very happy life seems to be working out for you, at the end of the day we all need to be happy when we wake up each morning...thanks for sharing, good luck and keep us informed.

[chelyann]

Ashley , so glad that every thing is working out for you, keep us informed of your progress .
and you look fantastic :)

[Rachelakld]

well done girl
We hear lots of negatives, great to see a positive.

[paulaprimo]

so happy to hear that your life is so much more positive...
you look great and i wish you continued happiness! :)

[Lana Mae]

Thanks for sharing! Glad things are working out for you! You are looking good! Hugs Lana Mae

[alwayshave]

Ashley, I so glad to hear that your journey is progressing in a direction that makes you happy. Good for you. Nice picture, you are lovely.

[Pat]

Awesome! And you look so great -- happy and confident. I've had a similar experience of finding out that once I let myself be myself I actually enjoy life. Looks like you've learnt it much younger than I did -- good on you! :)

[Dana44]

Ashley, That is great to here. Good for you and hope the future is bright. By the way you look pretty.

[Krea]

Hi Ashley,
That is a such an inspiring story. Your happiness really shows thru in that lovely picture.

Nic :)

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Ashley,
Having read of all your troubles over the years. I am so glad you are now a lot happier in your life.

You say you waited too long to long. I am sure it feels like that but sometimes getting to the desired place we want to be is not a straight pathway.

Like others have said your happiness shines through in your picture :hugs:

[sterusjon]

Ashley,

You look great. And happy, too. Maybe, your avatar needs a rethink?

Stephanie