Ceera
02-26-2017, 09:09 PM
I count myself as gender fluid right now. Born male, and having lived the first 50+ years of my life denying any feminine urges, I have accepted in the last few years that enjoy presenting as a female as much as I enjoy life as a male - maybe I even prefer being female. I haven't started HRT or any other medical trnsition, but I can pass quite well as a woman now. And more and more often, if there is a choice to be made, it is my fem side that is becoming my preferred mode of living.
Socially, I strongly prefer to interact as a female. I virtually never go to a bar or to a dance any more as a male. The last time I went out to socialize as a male was to play darts with some friends. But even when taking my daughter out to dinner or to shop at the mall, I prefer to be en-femme.
Out shopping? It's my fem side buying clothes, shoes and jewelry. "That guy" hardly spends anything on himself.
This last year, I've slowly been easing my way back into a historical reenactment group that I used to be active with about 24 years ago in this region - the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). Most of the people who knew me as a male in that group, in this region that I recently moved to, have dropped out of the SCA long ago. The few who still remember me don't know me very well any more. So when I started to get active again, I set up two memberships - one for my former male self, and one as my female self. Both made their appearance at a summer camping event this last year, and my fem side was completely accepted, even by my old friends, who saw 'her' as someone new to them. At a winter dinner party event, only the female side of me attended - and again I was fully accepted at face value, even by people who knew me years ago as a male. The summer event is coming up again in May, and while I'll be there in both male and female personas, the female side is looking likely to dominate my time, this time around.
I've been unemployed for six months. So I am looking to find new ways to earn money. Well, at the SCA events I used to set up as a merchant, and sell woodworking that I had created. Certainly I could do that again, or I could sell books and other things that I already own, and which would sell well to the SCA people. And yet... I found that as I planned that, it was almost a given that it would be the female side of me running that new business endeavor. Not only would 'Katherine', my new SCA persona, sell books and other things at the upcoming SCA event, but I could also do a similar sales booth at the upcoming Pagan Pride festival... Maybe at other places too. I spent a fair part of the day today trying to come up with a unique business name, and preparing to register that name as a business and get my fem side's bank to accept that assumed business name the same as they do my female name as Ceera.
While my day-to-day life still has me in male mode more often then en-femme, the largest restriction there is financial. The cost of the makeup and te wear and tear on my 'nice clothes' limit how much I dress en-femme when I am not going out, and I am going out less often to save on expenses.
If money were no object, I am beginning to think I would medically transition soon, despite my age. But that is just a dream for me right now, with no job and no insurance to pay for the procedures. I might transition socially and legally, though, and get my name and gender legally changed...
The girl is stronger than the guy in my mind right now. It's interesting watching that develop.
Socially, I strongly prefer to interact as a female. I virtually never go to a bar or to a dance any more as a male. The last time I went out to socialize as a male was to play darts with some friends. But even when taking my daughter out to dinner or to shop at the mall, I prefer to be en-femme.
Out shopping? It's my fem side buying clothes, shoes and jewelry. "That guy" hardly spends anything on himself.
This last year, I've slowly been easing my way back into a historical reenactment group that I used to be active with about 24 years ago in this region - the Society for Creative Anachronism (SCA). Most of the people who knew me as a male in that group, in this region that I recently moved to, have dropped out of the SCA long ago. The few who still remember me don't know me very well any more. So when I started to get active again, I set up two memberships - one for my former male self, and one as my female self. Both made their appearance at a summer camping event this last year, and my fem side was completely accepted, even by my old friends, who saw 'her' as someone new to them. At a winter dinner party event, only the female side of me attended - and again I was fully accepted at face value, even by people who knew me years ago as a male. The summer event is coming up again in May, and while I'll be there in both male and female personas, the female side is looking likely to dominate my time, this time around.
I've been unemployed for six months. So I am looking to find new ways to earn money. Well, at the SCA events I used to set up as a merchant, and sell woodworking that I had created. Certainly I could do that again, or I could sell books and other things that I already own, and which would sell well to the SCA people. And yet... I found that as I planned that, it was almost a given that it would be the female side of me running that new business endeavor. Not only would 'Katherine', my new SCA persona, sell books and other things at the upcoming SCA event, but I could also do a similar sales booth at the upcoming Pagan Pride festival... Maybe at other places too. I spent a fair part of the day today trying to come up with a unique business name, and preparing to register that name as a business and get my fem side's bank to accept that assumed business name the same as they do my female name as Ceera.
While my day-to-day life still has me in male mode more often then en-femme, the largest restriction there is financial. The cost of the makeup and te wear and tear on my 'nice clothes' limit how much I dress en-femme when I am not going out, and I am going out less often to save on expenses.
If money were no object, I am beginning to think I would medically transition soon, despite my age. But that is just a dream for me right now, with no job and no insurance to pay for the procedures. I might transition socially and legally, though, and get my name and gender legally changed...
The girl is stronger than the guy in my mind right now. It's interesting watching that develop.