Answer To The Question

[deebra]

What is a good answer to the question if someone asks you are those boots, shoes, jeans, or whatever "women's" and why are you wearing them? I'm talking dressed androgynous, blending as a guy but one or two items female.

[countrygirl]

Why not.

[looking_good]

I've wondered this myself. I hope my response would be "I like it" or "I like them".

[Joan58]

Are those boots you are wearing womens?

No,they are mine.

[sharonsdream]

Are you wearing a bra? Yes. Why? Because I want too. Real conversation with convience store clerk.

[Pat]

It depends a bit on what you're really asking. Are you asking how best to lie? Or are you asking how best to rationalize yourself to yourself? The simplest answer is the truth -- "Yes, they are." The follow-up will be "why are you wearing them?" and the answer is "Because I like them." The answer that gives you space to exist is, "No, they are mine." But if you're going to lie, put your back into it -- just say "No." Now the other person has to pursue it or walk away. If they pursue it, ask them what the heck it is to them, if they don't pursue it, go back to what you were doing.

[Mafalda]

Yes, I find they are women's, and, whenever you may feel it strange, I like it...

[Stephanie47]

Are you wearing a bra? Yes. Why? Because I want too. Real conversation with convience store clerk.

OK, I'll ask the question. Is your answer sufficient to end the inquiry or is really an inadequate brushoff? Decades ago my wife and I had incorporated a certain amount of lingerie on my body into 'bedroom play.' I suppose she had considered it some kind of sexual enhancement which it was. When wearing women's lingerie was not sufficient for my inner needs I did end up buying my first bra; a vivid red Vanity Fair bra with matching tap panty. One day our daughter pulled open the bottom draw to my armoire and pulled that bra from a box which contained my total wardrobe.

My wife retrieved the bra from our daughter's hands. We ended up having "the talk." She pondered outloud,

"Why would a man want to wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?"

Valid question. So answering "Because I want too" really is insufficient to answer the query of a woman. If a therapist were to ask the same question I really doubt the therapist would accept that answer.

So, what is the true reason?

My answer to "the talk" has not changed over the three decades, "I do not know why I do what I do!"

[ronda]

or you could say I don't know my wife gave them to me for Christmas so I wear them or you say none ya

[Jenny22]

Are you wearing a bra? Yes. Why? Because I want too. Real conversation with convience store clerk.

My under dressing always includes a bra and small foam boosters, and I've decided, if ever similarly questioned, that I would say yes. And if asked why, I will say, because I've got boobs. Wanna see them?

[Ashley090]

Some answers here are absolutly right and makems me laught when I imagine that conversation while using them :D I agree on all of it. Most basic answer is "why the hell not?!" or you can use more complex answer like "i wear bcs they are comfy/ I like style more/ fits me better..." Or any pratcital reason, like you are to skinny to wear mens sizes (sometimes i have actual issue with that, especialy pants). Or you can just end whole conversation with "And?" bcs they usualy have nothing to say afterwards.

[Lily Catherine]

Unlike most I have a legitimate excuse: I can't even buy men's jeans and shoes in my size without difficulty. Consequently I actually wear women's boots / jeans / shoes very often.

This being said, I think the best way out would be to fess up and admit your own reasons. We can't impute them to you. If they do ask why, I think a more polite alternative to "With all due respect, how is this your business" would do.

[IamWren]

Someone I know had this interaction at a liquor store regarding how they were dressed. This person although on HRT has only been on for about a month or so, has male pattern baldness and sports a big handle bar mustache and big full beard that goes down to about where a t-shirt collar might be.

Walking out of Spec's, a presumably male-assigned person with a paper bag of liquor surveys my appearance (skirt, purse, and ankle booties) and strikes up a conversation:

Them: Really man?!
Me: Yeah, really.
Them: Is it like religious, or...
Me: No. It's just how I do my thing.
Them: Is this... like... something I should be doing?
Me: Well it's great in the summer when it's hot outside!
Them: (confusedly) It's not hot out, though.
Me: Yeah, but it's also great when it is hot out!

Two things of notability to me in this. 1) It's just how I do my thing.
But even better 2) Is this... like... something I should be doing?

It's like he was worried he may have missed the memo. :D

[Diane Taylor]

Good question. I've never had anyone ask so I don't know how I'd respond if they did.

[Pat]

Valid question. So answering "Because I want too" really is insufficient to answer the query of a woman. If a therapist were to ask the same question I really doubt the therapist would accept that answer.

So, what is the true reason?

My answer to "the talk" has not changed over the three decades, "I do not know why I do what I do!"

I would argue that you just proved "Because I want to" is both true and a complete answer. You are doing it because it makes you happy. You don't know why it makes you happy so there is no further answer to be given.

[docrobbysherry]

If people asking u questions bothers u, maybe u shouldn't go out wearing those items?:straightface:

Because of the rain I've been wearing my women's, plain looking, brown, round toed, 3 1/2" heeled boots for the last week. No one's given me a second glance. Much less asked about them. But, there's nothing else fem looking about me!:battingeyelashes:

[sometimes_miss]

Oddly enough, this has happened to me accidently. About 30 years ago, I purchased a jacket with one of the then current woman's brands labels in it. Not my fault, it was in the men's section of clothes, and I couldn't imagine a designer brand making something intended for a woman in a size that would fit me (At the time, I was six four, with a 44" chest and 36" waist, and wore a men's shirt with 37"sleeves and a size 18 neck). It was a belted jacket, double breasted with buttons and holes that could conceivably be worn either wrap to the right OR left. Wearing it to work, I had no idea that it was marketed towards women. One of the girls at work pointed it out, and how she could tell: It was identical to those sold in one of the other women's clothing stores. My question was how was I to know? Easy, she said.

"The pockets are all fake".

She was right.
I stood by my story, and, as it resembled a men's jacket, I continued to wear it. But I removed the label.

So, whenever questioned, my excuse would always be, the garment was on a clearance sale in the men's department, and I just feigned ignorance that it was indeed 'girl clothes'. If, OTOH, it is something clearly feminine such as pants that zip up the side (or the wrong side) or in the back, well you're on your own.

[suzanne]

" They're not women's boots. They're mine"
"I just find I'm more comfortable in them"

[Michelle D]

I had a cashier at a store ask me if the pantyhose i was buying were for me, and i told her yes they are and would she like for me to model them for her, she didn't answer. Goes to show,, the truth will set you free. Haven't had any problems buying women's clothes since.

[DIANEF]

A few people have asked me why I wear a woman's watch. Simple answer is because I like it, and I leave it at that.

[deebra]

How about, I'm a crossdresser and I prefer wearing women's clothes to men's, they fit my body better. Then say I can tell you are one too, you are wearing women's panties, care to prove me wrong? (I don't think he's going to drop his pants to prove I'm wrong, he'll probably just turn and walk away).

[Leslie Langford]

The correct answer is "Yes" to the women's clothing question, and as for the reason - if it is a GG doing the asking - then the preferred answer is "Probably for the same reason you wear pants, a men's wristwatch, "boyshorts", a "boyfriend jacket", "boy cut" jeans, "menswear" in general, and drive a pickup truck."

Any one of the above retorts should shut them up pretty quick as well as open up their eyes to the universal female sense of entitlement when it comes to clothing choices...something that they all take for granted.

[Meghan4now]

If people asking u questions bothers u, maybe u shouldn't go out wearing those items?:straightface:

Because of the rain I've been wearing my women's, plain looking, brown, round toed, 3 1/2" heeled boots for the last week. No one's given me a second glance. Much less asked about them. But, there's nothing else fem looking about me!:battingeyelashes:
You know, Sheri is absolutely right. If you own THEM, then own IT! Really, for goodness sake, if you aren't willing to defend your choice in public, don't wear it in public. You are absolutely courting comments, and then dismayed when they are made???? Like it or not, right or wrong, this is reality.

Grow a set. (Then hide them, they are unsightly ;) )

Oh and Sheri, I don't blame you for the boots. I love boots, but currently other than cowboy boots, work boots and hiking boots, there are few men's boots out there. What a shame. I had to buy women's boots (no heel) for my boy halloween costume. And i wasnt ashamed at all. Everyone said, wow, good thinking!

[Dana44]

I would say they are mine, Not some woman's.And that I like them. Al the fem clothes that I buy are mine. Except what I by my GF also.

[Tracii G]

I dress that way everyday and have for the last 10 years or so Deebra and maybe once or twice someone might have said are those womens jeans?
Its pretty obvious I wear womens jeans,shoes,tops and jackets but its never an issue when I go out and hang out with friends.
Even my straight friends have no issues with me wearing what I wear and not one of them ever said are you wearing womens clothes?
I don't owe anyone an explanation but if they were to ask I would say more than likely they are my clothes.

Sounds like you are the one with the problem about being seen wearing something a woman would wear.
I'll pound the drum again "nobody cares if you wear an item of womens clothes in guy mode".

[Teresa]

Deebra,
I'm not sure if you would ever be asked the question, most people outside the family might think it's something odd but I doubt many if any would ask it.
I know the looks you can get, as I found a Wonderbra under my male clothes gave me more of a bust than I expected even without forms, I was shopping in my local High Street at the time.

On a slightly different perspective I was shopping in drab in a charity shop , I had a skirt in one hand and a pair of heels in the other when a male SA I knew well, in fact he was a near neighbour of my son and I'd also photographed his wedding , said hello using my christian name . I just looked him straight in the eye and told him this is how I deal with something I was born with, he just smiled and took a step back , gestured towards the racks and said feel free to shop. I often see him when I call on my son , I just smile and say hello .

[Steph65]

I was trying on some shoes in walmart. They seem to have specials on shoes when the season is almost over. Or they have a sale section for shoes that are too big or over stocked. I was trying one some 4 inch heels. I wasn't dressed and thought well why not no one is around. I tried on 3 pairs and like 2 of them. What you don't notice when shopping is how some people walk by or walk around to see what your up to or if you need help. I was in my stocking feet. I take nylon knee high stockings when I go out shopping. I had them on and this couple walked by and saw me with a couple boxes of shoes. The lady said to me those are nice shoe what do you think of these one he has hunny? I said they are not for me and she said ya sure Nice socks!!! I said well it is what I enjoy doing. and gave a stern look and she didn't say anything more. They left.

I believe if you do not show any fear of being criticized or any sign of fear. being straight forward and more forceful in a subtle way people will not challenge you or make a big deal of it. I live in a very small town and have gone walking all dressed up and people see this "new" woman walking down the street they wonder and I have been asked who this person is and I say it is my older sister. Smaller towns 500 people is alot harder to dress.

I guess when confronted it is and can be nerve racking. I just say it is what it is and give them the hard stare.

[JenniferMBlack]

I was asked if I was wearing high heels once when I was in guy mode. I was so said yes. They guy then asked is it hard to walk in heels? I said I. Never had a problem but I guess some poeple have. Then he ask do they make your feet hurt? Not any more then some other shoes. He then said he was just wondering thanks and went away.

[Teresa]

Steph,
It's not always me that gives the stare !

I saw a pair of black patent heels in a charity shop, I knew they didn't have a changing area so I asked if they were happy I could use a chair at the back of the shop , ( like you I learned the lesson of wearing stockings or tights before going out trying shoes). She gave me a chair between the CDs and the book shelves, I had just slipped the shoes on when I was aware of a guy staring at me, I stood up and smiled and said , " These are really comfortable , I might just wear them when leaving the shop !", He didn't say a word but returned the CD to the shelf and left , I wonder if he was upset because I saw the shoes first ?

[ambigendrous]

Never had anyone ask that question, but, as others here, I've had people remark on my footwear. When I was working I would wear boots in cool weather and sandals all summer. One day I was wearing my square toe, 3" block heel boots and our group decided to go out for lunch. It was decided that we go to a Japanese restaurant and when we got there I saw that we were being seated in an "alcove" where we had to remove our shoes and sit on low benches - almost on the floor. Anyway, I unzipped my boots and left them alongside everybody else's shoes and had a great meal. As we were leaving I was putting my boots back on and one of my co-workers, a petite Chinese gal, said "I like your boots!" - I replied "Thanks - they're very comfortable." Nothing more was said, that day or for the rest of my time working there until I retired.

Another time I was doing some grocery shopping at lunch, wearing those same boots. As I approached the checkout the cashier, a male, asked me how high my boots went, that he heard me walking up. I told him they were below the knee - again, nothing more was said.

Another time I was wearing a women's denim vest, with the darts in the chest area, over a T-shirt. A lady co-worker, who I had worked with for over 20 years, made a comment "Nice vest!" - I said "Thanks!" and that was the end of it!

Last story: the day I retired I was wearing pumps with a 2" heel with my blue jeans and when our HR rep, a very nice lady, glanced down and did a double take - other than a discrete smile she never said a word as she and I walked to her office for my farewell interview and then back to my cubicle so I could start packing up my stuff.

Now that I'm retired I limit my dressing to home - my saintly wife has no problem with me dressing at home, but prefers that I keep it hidden from grandkids, and the public in general. I have no problem with that and am happy dressing as I like pretty much when I like!

[Steph65]

Steph,
It's not always me that gives the stare !

I saw a pair of black patent heels in a charity shop, I knew they didn't have a changing area so I asked if they were happy I could use a chair at the back of the shop , ( like you I learned the lesson of wearing stockings or tights before going out trying shoes). She gave me a chair between the CDs and the book shelves, I had just slipped the shoes on when I was aware of a guy staring at me, I stood up and smiled and said , " These are really comfortable , I might just wear them when leaving the shop !", He didn't say a word but returned the CD to the shelf and left , I wonder if he was upset because I saw the shoes first ?

I learned the hard way!!! Take knee highs!!! Another store I just walk in find a pair and sit and try them on. The clerk asked me how they fit I say fine!!! I will take them. I just find when you accert your response the questioner does not want to make a scene. Especially in todays age where places have gender friendly bathrooms and change rooms.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra:hugs:, Turn the question back on them and ask, "Is this going to be a problem for you ??" ..o:daydreaming:o..

[Tracii G]

Does it make a difference? Might be a good retort.

[ShelbyDawn]

I wear a women's jeans ever day and have been asked once or twice. I have answered the same each time and it has not been an issue. As politely as I can, I just say: "Does it matter or are you just curious?"
Whatever they answer, I reply, "OK. Thank you for letting me know." and leave it at that.

[Allisa]

Yes and because I think they look good and I like them. Now a question for you, if dressed androgynous how do you "blend as a guy? Funny question I was asked once while wearing a skirt obviously as my male self, "is that a skirt your wearing?", my retort "what else would it be?".

[Periwinkle]

I tend to prefer a cutesy sort of style, even when I'm not crossdressing. So there's usually at least one feminine article of clothing in every ensemble I come up with. It's just what's normal for me. I even wear makeup more often now. If someone asked me if something I was wearing was from the women's section I'd probably just say, "Yep!" And move on.

[Aunt Kelly]

Does it make a difference? Might be a good retort.
No. That is a good retort... for so many questions like that. :)

[Beverley Sims]

My answer to the question has always been "They fit me better and I look neater in them.
Being of a small frame this works well.
Once I was told I would make an attractive girl, I agreed and then was asked if I would like to be fitted with a a bra and inserts to see what the effect would be like. I was dressed androgynously for want of a better term.
I immediately agreed and two hundred dollars later Beverley walked out of the shop wearing mens Bloodstone boots being the only male item I was wearing..
They didn't look out of place either then. :-)

[Jennifer in CO]

Some of my responses over the years....

I wear a bra because I have breasts...like you.
I wear panties because they are comfortable.
I wear women's slacks / jeans because they fit better.
I wear women's shoes because mens shoes in my size (12AAA) cost 4 arms and 3 legs, while a similar workable size (13) is available in a women's size at Payless for $10
Hence I wear women's socks/hose/tights because they work better with women's shoes.
I wear a woman's watch because I have small wrists.
I wear women's tops/blouses because the fit better over a bra. Plus, when your wearing everything else, a mans shirt looks like crap with women's slacks don't you think?

[deebra]

Allisa, you asked how do I blend as a guy dressed androgynous, hear is my answer.

I love wearing women's clothes and when wearing I feel them and in a feminine way. They make me feel feminine and I like seeing and passing young pretty women when out knowing we are wearing the same sexy female clothing. So when going out I wear different degrees of women's clothing and it's not to call attention to myself but to blend.

I wear long black boot cut jeans with my tall heel black boots that cover most of the boot so not to be noticed, to get more of a feminine feeling I also wear knee high nude hose and a thong or bikini panties holding a tight tuck under the jeans. This makes for a very feminine feeling and I am very much aware of it when walking in heels, feeling the tight soft jeans that are pressed tight against the flat front of the jeans.

Another outfit I wear is blue tight boot cut girl jeans with a lot of stitching and glitter on the rear pockets plus highlighted cream colored stiching on the seams. I know the pocket embellishment would out me but that's the femininity I like; I liked it in the store so I tried it on in the store and bought it. I wear this with a little lower heel black ankle boot and a windbreaker covers most of the rear pockets and it doesn't bother me if someone sees it, as has been said no one has the time to care. If I'm in the mood I wear a bra with small forms and a thin women's tee making the bra noticeable. I like being dressed and out and not clocked; I'm not looking to be a spectacle , just blend like a grain of sand on the desert. Maybe unlike some long time CD's I'm aware of the clothes I am wearing, it gives me a very enjoyable feeling/mind set when wearing them and I like presenting womanly this way even though I'm not fully dressed and trying to pass.

[Allisa]

The reason for my question is if dressed androgynous that means you are displaying characteristics of both genders, i.e. clothing and movements and as you said your mind set. Don't take offense but your comment is a contradiction in terms. Please dress and do what makes you happy, enjoy yourself.

[CynthiaD]

I wear female shoes all the time with my male clothing. if someone asks me if they are women's shoes, I say "Not any more!"