Up and Down all the time!

[Laura]

Hi girls!

Why am I so up and down about dressing?

One minute I can't dress quickly enough and the next I feel ashamed and don't dress for ages.

Since telling my lady friend about Laura, I've been getting brave. I have a new wig, I wear my lipstick and I have a beautiful pink dress that I love to wear. I even went for a little stroll the other night! ive never done thst in 35 years of dressing! Then over the next few days, my desire to dress waned and I stopped. Right now I'm dressed in my finest going for a walk again!

Am I alone in feeling good like this?

Love Laura. xxx

[Tracii G]

Pretty common Laura so nothing to worry about.
Just because you dress one day doesn't mean you have to every day.
For example say one weekend you go skydiving it doesn't mean you HAVE to go skydiving the next weekend.
Dress when you want to and not dress when you don't want to.

[Teresa]

Laura,
The dressing is giving you high which can't be sustained so you're on a rollercoaster with it.

The new items you keep adding fuel the need to do it again . Until you find what your dressing needs are it will keep happening, most of us have been through this , I can't say it ever goes away permanently , I feel it's part of our female side enjoying the highs of something new. Men don't usually get that feeling through clothes or how they look but women do . You don't say how Laura reacted but you don't say anything negative so I assume she's OK with it, so her lack of reaction has validated how you feel and now you're pushing that bit harder for more, again that's something most of us have been through.
We are stuck with the situation of the more we do it , we want more , and being restricted doing it we still want more ! Not always easy for some of us and for some partners it's the last thing they want to hear .

[JenniferMBlack]

I haven't dressed for 3 months. I have been working way to much and when I have time I'm just to tired to do it.but under normal circumstances I sometimes go weeks without wanting to dress as well. I don't feel ashamed any more though since I have excepted this is part of who I am.

[Rachelakld]

probably just guilt (we expect ourselves to live within the expections of our group - CDing is outside that group expection), don't worry, quite normal and will reduce as you accept yourself more

[docrobbysherry]

Some times I have to force myself to dress! I know that sounds weird.:eek:

But, I dress all the way or nothing. So, when I have windows of opportunity to dress and film, I have to take them. Whether I feel like it or not!:straightface:

It's funny, tho. Once I start a session, I never want to stop!:D

[AliB]

My experience over 50 plus years of dressing is that it is normal to have some ups and downs. Guilt comes from the fact that society does not look kindly on it but on the other hand comfort and the joy of dressing is stronger and ultimately makes us happier. I have found as I have aged that dressing has made me very content as that who I am.

[GretchenM]

Laura,

I don't have much to add to the other responses which pretty much cover your question. In my view, until someone actually figures out why some people engage in this behavior, and that is not even close to being figured out, the "why" will need to remain a why. Based on personal experience and reading many, many posts here, my sense is that it is pretty normal. And I suspect it is normal for "normal" people, whatever that is. My wife of 48 years moves around as well, but no way to the amount that I do. We are different in that way, but the principle appears to be the same. Right now I am going through another stretch of being strongly variable. I get the urge to dress. It pops out like the smoke from a firecracker. Then the sound is gone and the smoke just drifts away. I remain in drab. Why? Circumstances, current events in my life and responsibilities, phase of the moon, alignments of Jupiter and Venus? Is it comfortable? No. Is it fun to be bouncing around like the tennis ball in a Wimbledon match? No. It just happens. But at the end of that phase, it stabilizes and the urge often leads to the change in attire. But my inner identity is always fairly stable around a peak in the slightly to moderately feminine part of the spectrum. It is just the need to express that identity that changes. For me, the identity is somewhat separated from the expression of the identity. Been that way for years.

Gretchen

[NancySue]

I believe we've all experienced the "ups and downs". I know I have. Years ago, right or wrong, I've come to the conclusion that CDing is a compulsive behavior pattern and will be with me, to some degree for the duration. Surpressing it only led to negative feelings and frustration, so My wife and I have accepted this part of my life with no conditions. It is what it is. Accept it, be positive and enjoy. It's worked for us.

[Laura]

Thank you for all your replies.

So glad I'm not the only one who does this. I thought I was odd for a moment!!

[Trione]

I mainly am an underdresser, live in a very conservtive/religous area and would not be accepted at all. But do enjoy dressing at home in private. Want to go on a vacation somewhere I can dress. I am not passable.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Laura:hugs:, There are no set rules about dressing ...:daydreaming:...

[StephanieM]

When I was younger I did that frequently, and even purged a few times. Now in my mid 40's I don't care as much about fitting in with societal norms so the guilt from dressing is practically gone.

[Becky Blue]

Becky comes and goes as she pleases, when she wanes it is most definitely not because of guilt however. Why she goes is as much as a mystery to me as to why she is here in the first place.

Nice boots Laura