An Update on Coming Out to my Wife Last Year

[Michelle Fox]

Last year at this time I had posted about finally coming out to my wife and after coming out to her, I felt like I was in limbo. I wasn't sure if I should bring it up again or just wait.

Last year at this time I had posted about finally coming out to my wife and after coming out to her, I felt like I was in limbo.

Visit post to read more (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?237150-Out-of-the-Closet-to-my-Wife-Now-What&highlight=)

Well, since last year...

I suffered a panic so bad, I thought I was having a heart attack. I ended up in the ER and everything was fine. Well kind of. At that point the feelings of gender dysphoria became so overwhelming that it was creating a real sense of anxiety.

After the ER visit, I began seeing a therapist for the anxiety and gender dysphoria.

I then realized I was transgender and needed to address this gender dysphoria.

I came out to my wife as transgender and told her about my life long struggles with gender dysphoria. This news rocked her world, as would be expected. She attended some counseling sessions with me and we've worked through things. We have a time each Sunday night where we just share what's on our minds regarding my gender dysphoria. We are brutally honest with each other and there have been some tears shed, but at the end of the night we feel closer.

Then I came out to my two teenage kids. They've been OK with it, as far as I can tell. They are teens so everything that doesn't directly involve them, is responded with a shrug and, a "Meh" or "Whatever...".

My wife has been very understanding and she has been ok with me dressing at home with her and the kids being at home. One night we sent the kids off to the movies and I dressed up head to toe and with the wig. My wife found it a little unsettling. She said it was I was a completely different person. So, the wig is a no go while she is home, or she can work up the tolerance of seeing me like that. I'm OK with that. I told her I'd take this as slow as I can.

In November I started a low dose of HRT and it has had such a positive effect to my mental state. I had just started anti-anxiety medicine a few days before, and the estrodial total knocked out the anxiety medicine so I quit the anti-anxiety meds.

And November marks the last time that I've had a haircut. It's now at about the middle of my ears and pretty long in the back. I'm 50 something and have a lot of functioning follicles, so I I'm hoping to grow it out to a little past my jaw.

And that brings me to tomorrow's appointment for my first laser hair removal appointment. Which was from a Groupon rhat my wife bought me as a surprise.

I guess I say all of this to let you know that you never know where this journey will take you.

[kimdl93]

Sounds like it's going along pretty well, so far. Those Sunday evening conversations may well be the critical factor in maintaining and perhaps even strengthening your relationship. You seem to have found a major contributor to your anxiety and I hope that as you move slowly forward, that remains under control.

Btw, everyone moves at the speed that fits them and their situation. To an outside observer your progress seems fairly fast.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Really happy for you, keep the communications open with the family. Best wishes

[chelyann]

good luck on your journey ..

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Michelle:hugs:, It really sounds like your wonderful :love:wife is trying to accept this,

just go slow and don't overwhelm her with this program...:daydreaming:...

[Lana Mae]

Michelle, best wishes going forward! Hugs Lana Mae

[GretchenM]

Hi Michelle,

Wow, up to the point where you are dressing at home in all your Michelle-glory, your story is virtually identical to what my wife and I dealt with just a little over 4 years ago. All the dysphoria, the panic, the "craziness," the therapy, including my wife, and then finding a resolution that works. Beautiful. For me, though, the dressing at home, beyond wearing feminine colored men's clothes, has not been realized. However, I don't really have much desire to do that. I took a bit different a path and found that becoming far more feminine in my behavior and activities served me well and now I have less and less desire to dress. I still do on occasion, in private, and I thoroughly enjoy it. I guess your story and my story began in pretty much the same place and followed the same path for a long ways. But then they diverged and found different solutions. Amazing. So much for determinism. I wish the very best in your continued journey and treat your amazing wife like a princess. She has helped you a great deal.

Gretchen

[mykell]

wishing you continued positive results going forward,


Then I came out to my two teenage kids. They've been OK with it, as far as I can tell. They are teens so everything that doesn't directly involve them, is responded with a shrug and, a "Meh" or "Whatever...".

this is more of a sign of how far we have been moving along with acceptance in society in general of coarse, like you said whatever doesnt directly involve them, years ago this would have been traumatizing to them, it would be what are my friends gonna think when they find out about you....so Meh is acceptance in acquiescence which is probably a good thing....

[Barbara Black]

Even on this forum I've never heard of someone having a 'gender dysphoria panic attack', but I can certainly understand it (Being prone to 'regular' panic attacks). Good luck to you and you family.

[Diane Taylor]

Good luck to you.....it's never easy.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Barbara ;

I too have never heard of someone having a 'gender dysphoria panic attack' and I as well have had life long panic attacks. And one of the things i've learned is that sometimes when you address the issues that cause the most stress in your life either by avoiding them,learning to deal with them,by medication or by changing the circumstances you can lessen the panic attacks. I've not eliminated my panic attacks, but for me just being ok with myself has definitely reduced them .

[Angie G]

Glad to hear it going good for you you and your wife keep up the good work Michelle.:hugs:
Angie

[grace7777]

Well I hope things continue to go well for you.

Have you thought about transitioning? At one time I considered transitioning to not be something I would peruse, but am now in the process of doing it. It seems like you may be TS. You are definitely more than just a crossdresser based on what you have posted. Fortunately, for me I had no SO. Transitioning does end many marriages, so something to keep in mind. My advice is just go at your own pace. Best of luck to you.

Grace

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I think you're a very courageous person. I'm glad for you that your wife has the maturity and love to be open to your needs- this can't be easy for her.

Do keep us posted on developments, and don't hesitate to come here to vent if that helps.

[Becky Blue]

Best of luck on your journey, thanks for sharing with us.

[TrishaLake]

I can understand why you had a panic attack, that is allot to accept especially about yourself.I am happy your are finding your way, be careful, keep your wife in your thoughts and go slow, so you find who you are. I wish I had your courage, I am not interested in transiting but I love being Trisha sometimes. I still hide too much. Keep us in the loop along the way.