My Dinner With A FTM

[Diane Taylor]

At one time I was a member of a group known as the Sunshine Club located in western Massachusetts. Most members were MTF's but there were also a handful of FTM's. One night at a meeting one of the FTM's came over to me and said that the meeting was somewhat boring and maybe we could leave for awhile and get a bite to eat. I agreed and off we went to a nearby family style restaurant. We entered the restaurant and "DAN" and I sat down in a booth. After a minute or two a waitress came over to take our order and for a few seconds didn't realize what was going on but soon did and seemed to be enjoying the situation in a good way. Food was served and there were no problems. As we were getting ready to leave, the waitress came over and mentioned to us that when she first realized the situation at hand she didn't know what to expect but quickly realized that we were nice people. She said it was a pleasure to be our server. We thanked her and went back to the meeting.

[kimdl93]

A nice experience all the way around!

[Tracii G]

Diane I too have had dinner with an FTM and the situation was much like yours.
No problems at all.
I have invited a few FTM's to my support group and they had a great time.
Its just people treating people as the gender they present its not hard to be nice to people.
I was going to a support group meeting one night and saw this person hanging out front and I noticed a FTM looking kind of scared so I spoke up and said are you looking for the support group meeting and he said um yeah I guess.
I took his (FTM) hand and said this way you can come in with me so you don't feel so out of place.
He was relieved he had a friend at least.
We walked up to the door and I stood there waiting for him to open the door for the lady.LOL
He looked at me with some bewilderment and I said honey the man opens the door for the lady. He said well duh I should have known that and laughed.
I made a great friend that night and we still stay in touch.

[Teresa]

Diane,
Its' so good to hear comments like that , OK she was serving you and was expected to be polite , but you detect the vibes if it's genuine or not.

[GretchenM]

What a wonderful story. It must have been confusing for her at first, she took the neutral road, and found out these two "weird" people are just like everybody else. Wouldn't it be nice if everybody was accepting so easily? Sure she was a server, but my sense is that had nothing to do with it. She was genuinely curious, did not know what to expect, and found out that we don't bite. Hope she tells others of her experience. A little nodule of accepting people might develop. Enough nodules in enough places and some real change can develop - change that is actually beneficial to all.

[Jaylyn]

A great story as I suspect a FTM I would be a harder road to travel than me just enjoying cross depressing. An MTF would understand the journey though. The waitress sounds like a cool one and an accepting one. Good story.

[Stephanie47]

I think you and your friend made a positive impact on at least one person. Your server was able to have an experience that showed her we are just people. Thank you!

[Jean 103]

I get this type of reaction form strangers (GGs) a lot. They hug me and tell me they support what I’m doing and/or how brave I am. My friends have witnessed this and they become defensive. I tell them it’s ok. My BFF (a GG) doesn’t understand but has also gotten use to it. I have met a few FTMs. For me life is about relationships and from where I stand their road looks much harder.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Diane:hugs:, Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story with us...:daydreaming:...

[stephenie3756]

Many many years ago, I was invited to attend a MTF wedding ceremony. We became friends at the trans support group I was able to attend. I felt honored to be ask to attend the wedding. What was interesting was he showed us his drivers license when he was female and us CDs could not believe how gorgeous she was. We wanted to be like her and she wanted to be like us. It was an awakening moment for all of us. It was a lovely ceremony.