Thanks for the Concern..

[Joan.Meredith]

Everyone,

Thank you for the level of concern that has been shown here as of late to the news that my wife are getting a divorce. As we've been telling people in our day to day lives that I plan on transitioning & that as a result we are divorcing we got a surprise. A friend who is a lawyer, said that he would represent either of us, and then immediately started calling me Joan and using female pronouns. :o :cry: :o It made me so happy, then my wife said "he will do a good job, and look after you. He can represent you." I could of fell to the floor with shock and relief.

Also our friend said he knows of a fellow MTF that is also looking to get out on her own. He is going to do his best to get a hold of her and see if she is still looking for a roommate. Just wow!

So right now it looks like things might go fairly easily. Honestly, I don't know the timeline for work. I want to put that off almost as long as I can. I'll let hormones do there thing, and when I can pull it off any more I think it'll be time. That's how I'd like to play it, so we'll see how it goes anyway.

Joan

[Pat]

Awesome! In a so-sorry-this-qualifies-for-awesome kinda way. Sad about your marriage; happy about your life. ;) (And your lawyer friend.)

[Tracii G]

Just a heads up for you don't believe everything your wife tells you at this point.
Women are planners and tend to be deceptive so if she says something positive be very cautious and read between the lines.
When she says something that seems to be more in your favor think why is she saying that and what is the benefit to her?
Women don't take a dump without a plan just keep that in mind because I would hate for your to get screwed in this divorce.

[Steph_CD_62]

I remember when I went through my divorce it was difficult for me to tell my lawyer about my dressing habits. He didn't even blink an eye and made me feel at ease about it. Said it should not be an issue if my ex-wife brought it up in court. Since my ex was 1,000 miles away when we went to court nothing was ever said in open court about my dressing.

[Jodi]

I agree with tracii. Be overly observant and keep your back to the wall. Make sure that lawyer is working only for you. Make sure she hires her own lawyer.

jodi

[Dana44]

I agree with Traccii,, In fact on my last divorce, MY wife outed me to everybody including my sister. So be careful. People at work even asked me if I wear girl clothes. I hope all the best for you. But do protect your back.

[Teresa]

Joan,
It sounds as if things could work out OK. One question , why didn't you try a separation to see how things work out ? My wife was prepared to give it a go, before the serious talking started , I found the important things are discussed and true values considered

[Lana Mae]

Please be cautious with all this! Usually if something sounds too good to be true it is! (not true that is ) Hugs Lana Mae

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joan:love:, I wish you all the best on your new life's journeys,

May all your new paths be covered with Rose Petals and Sun Shine !

[BettyMorgan]

Joan, take some of the above comments under advisement. Seriously.

1. "Women are planners and tend to be deceptive." Wow, talk about generalizing. But, if you are transitioning, you should be prepared for the misogyny you'll receive from men, even the ones who wear dresses.
2. "Your wife might out you to people". Well, if you are telling people in your day to day lives, then chances are you aren't that afraid she will out you.

Stay positive and find happiness in yourself.

[Rachelakld]

since divorce is not really "anyones fault" (ie one person wants their life THIS way, the other wants it THAT way) why can't you and wife split cash & assets 50/50 without lawyers and then go your own ways?

[Stephanie47]

Joan, I'll stand by my comment made on your other thread. I see a lot of doomsday watch your back comments. If your wife realizes your destiny has been chosen why should she beat her head against the wall. She also has a life to live. Your path is not her path. You are still the other parent of three boys. Perhaps, she does not want to injure her children. Yes, there will be child support, assignment of debts, and, all that stuff every divorce produces. I'll never see the sense of two former lovers living together as siblings, when there is still many years to be lived.

If you are going to be open concerning your sexuality and transition you really cannot be blackmailed or injured. Only people with secrets and hiding can be blackmailed. Good luck to you and your wife.

[andreanna]

Hmmmm, a lawyer that would represent either of you? I would be looking for one else that does not know you or your future ex.

[sharonsdream]

Best wishes for your future.

[sometimes_miss]

since divorce is not really "anyones fault"
Because when people's life plans change drastically, they often start to look outside themselves for someone to blame. Initially my ex was understanding. As time went on, and she joined support groups, she came across many very angry wifes and ex wives of other crossdressers. In a couple of years, she considered me satan incarnate and blamed me for everything bad in her life.
Each party needs a lawyer. If your lawyer tells you otherwise, you need a new lawyer. It's simply the way the system is set up. One cannot represent the interests of both parties.