Complimenting another sister while out in public

[Karen's Secret]

A few days ago I was out shopping in male mode (I have never gone out dressed) when I ended up alone in the same aisle with a well put together sister. She was passing in almost every way other than her height which, unfortunately for her, is a dead giveaway. She was avoiding eye contact and I just got a feeling that she was hoping I wouldn't read her as a male. I wanted so much to compliment her in some way but then didn't because I thought maybe the best compliment might be to simply carry on with my business.

I still feel like I missed an opportunity to support a fellow CD'er.

[Gabriella111]

There was a post a few weeks ago almost identical to yours. Heated disagreement ensued about how that situation should go down.

[Karen's Secret]

There was a post a few weeks ago almost identical to yours. Heated disagreement ensued about how that situation should go down.

I'll see if I can find it. I guess I've been having that same argument in my head for the last few days.

[Pat]

This topic shows up, it seems monthly. Generally the same people give the same responses each time. My summary of it would be: unless she's inviting contact, leave her alone -- especially if you're in drab.

[NitaCD]

I have been in this situation a couple of times myself and ended up doing the same as you. While I would welcome another sister speaking to me I do realize that not everyone feels the same way about this. In your case, where you noticed that she was avoiding eye contact, I think you were better off to be safe than sorry. Its too bad that this is the way things are....your damned if you do, and your damned if you don't I guess.

[alwayshave]

I have been our en drab and run into sisters, I have not engaged. If I was dressed I may have.

[ronda]

what would be wrong with a smile and hello I do that all the time usually I get a smile and a hello back nothing more needs to be said

[Gabriella111]

This is the thread I was thinking of: https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?246637-CD-TV-Sighting

[Karen's Secret]

what would be wrong with a smile and hello I do that all the time usually I get a smile and a hello back nothing more needs to be said

Nothing wrong with a smile and hello when appropriate.

[deebra]

I wrote a post on seeing a CD in Walmart early one morning, I went over and worked my way into a conversation and all went well, I was dressed andro but with some items of women's clothing that could be seen. Karen I think you let an opportunity pass that could have created a friend. Just speak to them nicely and let them know you are shopping for something feminine such as panties, hose or a bra so they can quickly understand you are a CD.

[CarlaWestin]

I've seen this subject for the entirety of my web participation. And that goes way way back. I've concluded that a smile and then a small nod is appropriate. If you were in her heels, you would probably be in a state of exhilarating situational awareness. You're anticipating the upcoming gates of interaction moments and hoping to not have to flee. An engaging unsolicited approach by a stranger would be startling. My occupation is in the hospitality industry. And, I see a fellow sister traveler or local at least once a week. I have to resist the temptation to announce that they're not alone.

[suzanne]

How about this. I've been on the receiving end many times and it never gets old for me.
"I love your shoes." (or skirt, sweater, dress, coat. Whichever applies. But only one)
"Thank you."
The end.
It the kind of comment that women (and CD'S) can exchange gracefully without having to commit to anything further. NOT an over all "You look beautiful". That's too much like a pickup line.

Just my opinion.

[BettyMorgan]

I have been complimented by GGs on my shoes, dresses and jewelry. It takes a little getting used to and I'm sure they were just trying to be supportive (although I do have fabulous dresses lol). I was waiting for a table at a restaurant with my GG SO and the fellow seating us complimented me on my dress and said how beautiful it looked on me. I appreciated he was trying to be being overly polite and he was chatting up other people in line as well. I contacted the owners about the encounter and the service we received that night and they stated that they train their staff to be welcoming to everyone in order to have a diverse clientele at their establishment. That's a different context than a random encounter at a store or wherever.

Having said all that, we all have the power to make someone feel better during the day but expressing positive words to them.

274097

[Victoria Demeanor]

Karen, her height? There is a woman in my office that is 6' 1" with shoulders like a line backer. she keeps her hair short in almost a boyish style. She is all girl, her three kids can verify that. She loves her high heels, yes picture that, over 6 foot wearing 5 inch heels...... anyways I guess my point is was there something else and how embarrassing would it be if you were wrong? The topic of CD's in the wild comes up often here with many different opinions. As with anyone you may encounter out and about, you don't really know their situation and are making assumption based on a brief visual. Think honestly about how you might feel if you were out trying to blend and some guy came up and started to chat you up, letting you know you failed some how? I don 't thin k there is anything wrong with a simple "hi" as you pass by, but remember to respect them as you would with anyone else.

[Karen's Secret]

Karen, her height? .
She was easily 6' 4" and was also wearing 4" heels.

[Stephanie47]

I've run into this situation several times. Would you go up to another person and blissfully engage him or her unless there was some obvious point to it? Would you compliment her and also indicate you're also a cross dresser?

My wife shared a row on an inter city bus for an hour with a transwoman. She had a very nice conversation concerning sewing. My wife is very accepting of gays, lesbians and transmen and transwomen. Her conversation had nothing to do with the issue of transpersons, etc. It was about sewing and general conversation. That's what it should be about.

[sterusjon]

Karen,

If your only cue was her height, you are on thin ice. About 1 in 150,000 women in the US are 6' 4" or taller. (https://tall.life/height-percentile-calculator-age-country/) They have to be out there sometime for all to see. I suspect some of them love their high heels and figure they are already in the stratosphere so may as well enjoy life. Unusual stature should not be included in the list of transgender tells.

As for the question of engagement, when I am out and about as my true self, I am looking for real human interaction. If you are engaging in a normal way that you would with any other human being, then I am up for it. If you are approaching me only because I am transgender, not so much. I would hope that I give others the same respect and courtesy. Besides, I would be afraid I was wrong and put my size 12W in my mouth.

Stephanie

[Rachael Leigh]

While it would be nice to enguage another sister I think it's best to just be normal, I think for me that's how I would hope
to be enguaged with someone who's en drab but also a CD, I want to feel my presentation is good enough not to stand out

[emilamb]

Like others said, I wouldn't rely just on height. There are some tall GGs out there. Still, I think you did the right thing. If she's avoiding eye contact, that's a sure sign that she's trying to avoid an interaction, whether she was a GG, CD or anything else.

[Karen's Secret]

Like others said, I wouldn't rely just on height.

It wasn't just her height but I didn't really want to describe her in any more detail. Hair, make up, and clothing all looked great but she was clearly crossdressed. I stood in line with her at the register and her male voice was unmistakeable.

After reading all the responses I am glad I decided to not say anything.

[Shelly Preston]

I would not always go by voice either.

When I was helping one of my friends move house I got a surprise. One of the guys asked who was ?

He actually said "who is the woman with the husky voice".

If you get it wrong you can cause real hurt.

If you want to compliment someone on there appearance then just do it in a friendly way as you would with any other woman

[Ressie]

I see CDs out all the time, well quite often anyway. Not once have I given them the clue that I crossdress too. And I've never gone out of my way to interact with any of them.

There has a couple of times where interacting was the thing to do yet there was no complimenting or secret handshake.

I just talked to them the same as I would with any other random person (when interacting is appropriate).

[Lana Mae]

I would not speak to another CD when in the wild! First off this may be their first time out and I would scare them for possibly outing them! I know I would rather be left alone if out and dressed unless I know the other person! I just glance at them and smile and go about my business because theirs is none of mine! Hugs Lana Mae

[Shadeauxmarie]

Just like I don't assume a woman is pregnant, I don't assume a "sister" is a male. I will be polite, smile, and treat them as I would any other person. In other words, I'd tackle them if they were trying to grab the last of a cute item I was eyeing in my size!

[XemmaX]

in dude mode no, maybe would give a supportive smile if they looked nervous but other than that i leave fellow sisters in peace when im not dressed. when im out en femme and if it seems appropriate then yeah probably but still not is not a given either.

[Eva Bella]

Ahh everyone likes a compliment. Just stick to something superficial (dress, shoes, bag) that doesn't get personal. Same as giving a GG a friendly but non-invasive compliment

[Salina]

I've seen two sisters out in the last month. One at the mall, she was well dressed, blended very nicely. To me the giveaway was her hands. Even with the nicely manicured nails she had a dudes hands. Last week I was checking out a potential new job and she was standing by her car having a smoke. Definitely a guy, but nicely dressed and well put together. Both saw me looking, but I didn't approach either. I have great admiration and respect for both and all who venture out.

[Tracii G]

Usually I don't say hello and give them the courtesy I would to any woman if I am in 50/50 mode
In girl mode a smile is usually it unless she speaks to me first.
Each situation is different so there is no one size fits all answer.