misconception of crosdressing

[maid victoria999]

There seems to be aisconceptoon that most crossdresser are gay and that female admirers are few and far between I total strate and find generally girls love to see a guy all dolled up mind you have only scratched the surface of this be interested to here discussion

[Gabriella111]

This has been discussed with fair regularity. It is common for people to wrongly assume that crossdressers are gay (one that I made myself). When I met my boyfriend, I was asking myself that question and eventually asked him. He didn't seem gay based on who he was flirting with, but there were so many things about him that I associated with it. Anyway, he's 100% straight, and when I joined these forums, there was an active thread on the matter where members were asked their orientation. The vast majority of CDer here (and I believe in general) are straight.

As for girls loving to see guys dolled up, I think it depends on the context. And, obviously, the girl.

[maid victoria999]

Thanks for reply u are dead on with your point my last girlfriend was an admirer but she just didn't get the fact that I coodnt do men she sees to think if u dress like a tart then you take the consequences needless to say we are not an item anymore

[Adita Kali]

My SO and I have talked extensively about this. Neither of us see a problem with it, after all gg have been cross dressing since what? The 60s? Why is a girl in pants seen as ok but a guy in skirt is seen as gay? I dress for comfort. Occasionally I'll dress for sex but it's usually when she takes me, which we both love and see as a sign of trust and love. You can be straight and a cd or straight and like receiving anal. There is nothing wrong with it

[docrobbysherry]

In my experience, GG women r quite open minded about CD's compared to men in the USA. Many r intrigued by my sexy looks and especially my breast plate!:heehee:

But, dating a CD is another matter completely. Even lesbians don't seem interested in that!:sad:

[Gabriella111]

My SO and I have talked extensively about this. Neither of us see a problem with it, after all gg have been cross dressing since what? The 60s? Why is a girl in pants seen as ok but a guy in skirt is seen as gay?
Women started wearing pants in the '20s and the trend grew as more women entered the workforce doing jobs for which it was far more practical to wear pants. It became accepted because they forced it on society in numbers and it became a norm.

So long as men in skirts is mostly hidden, it won't become a norm, and it will continue to be stigmatized. If you want to be accepted, force it into society in numbers and make it a norm.

Men have been wearing skirts in Scotland for centuries.

[Majella St Gerard]

In my experience, women are fascinated and very complimentary about my crossdressing also surprised that I'm straight. But as far as dating, I have not met one willing.

[sweetdreams]

But as far as dating, I have not met one willing.

My experience is you have to build an emotional bond before launching the CD aspect of you on women. Few are naturally interested in it by itself, not zero but few. Most success stories I've heard about, there was a connection, then there was a discussion.

I've always waited a while before bringing the topic up. Not very long, but long enough to think that there might be the chance of and interest in a long term relationship.

[Mickitv]

I am bisexual and a crossdresser. I also have found women who are complimentary to my feminism but I have not been with a woman dressed.

[Teresa]

Victoria,
I guess others will say they are OK with it because it's not on their doorstep.

I do find they are fine with it , they love to see my pictures and when dressed. At the Xmas party the wives of from the other groups wouldn't let me leave the dance floor , and while many of the husbands propped the bar up. If I'd been dressed as a guy I probably wouldn't have had the chance to dance with them. I love the conversations we get into about what we're wearing and how nice the shoes are. I will admit some of the girls were young enough to be my daughter and some more but it doesn't appear top matter .
We were also at having a meeting when there was a wedding party going on , the bride and groom entered our room and invited us to join their reception party , I was a little cautious because we are the possible target for practical jokes, my fear was someone could spike your drink. I don't dress and drink alcohol when out , if I'm stopped driving home even smelling of drink could lead to a difficult situation and my wife would be very unhappy with me.

To comment on people thinking we are gay, I'm glad to say I've got over that problem with my wife, going out socially has pushed those boundaries and proved I'm not , sharing a room with another CDer and meeting them socially is never going to change that , it helps me deal with my CDing but has never affected my sexual preferences .

[Stacy Darling]

"Miss Conception"

That's Me, I was so confident about how straight I am that I've written in these pages of how straight I am!

So here is the honesty,

I Pretty myself up and want to be with someone just as Pretty!

So I guess that makes me Gay!

Damn!!!

Stacy!

[Lana Mae]

The first misconception is CDs are gay! Since CDs are gay they are safe and won't hit on me! (my wife and a few other females I have known!) This may be the "admirer's" thoughts. Even straight males in dressy male clothing are thought by many to be gay. And there is nothing wrong with being gay! It is such a strange world with all these wrong thoughts! If we would just think of others as human and drop all the labels and go from there it would be a better world! OK, done preaching! Sorry! Hugs Lana Mae

[Majella St Gerard]

Since I am not in the closet and dress em femm almost all the time, I only meet women when crossdressed.

[Wen4cd]

I think the real misconception is that there exist states of being defined as "gay" and "straight."

[Jacqueline Vivaldi]

I have been crossdressing for many years and keep up with the online dialog of the trans women community. On the two points in the thread, I conclude that perhaps 70 percent could not bear the thought of having sex with a man while presenting as a female. Many trans females totally look at themselves as female and enjoy all of the pleasures that a woman can have with a man. Regarding the second point, I have found that when genetic women find out that I am MTF (only when I speak for a long time), they are almost always curious and exceptionally friendly. I do present as an attractive well somewhat elegant female. There have been many cases where I was in a bar and met a married heterogeneous couples, and the females in several cases were extremely attracted to me, and could not restrain themselves from tastefully touching me at every opportunity even in the presence of their husbands.
Jacqueline

[Tracii G]

This subject has been talked about here so many times if you want to read those threads use the search function it should keep you busy for hours reading them.
Yes its a common misconception we will have to endure for many years to come.

[Teresa]

Wen4cd,
Yes of course there is, why is it a misconception ? you are either gay, bi or straight, Cding doesn't change that in the majority of people. To touch on the subject again some CDers with AGP aren't gay when dressed as men but want to go with men when dressed as a woman to live that role .

I know I'm straight , but bi-gender , my male side is OK with women but my female side also wants to share with a woman, it's the way my wiring is from the age of 8-9 years.

[XemmaX]

I guess the main misconception is that there are stereotypes about crossdressers. People who do this are gay, straight, bi and whatever and that's cool.

[Wen4cd]

Teresa, what I mean to say is everyone is bi. There really is no gay or straight. We are all born with full potential. Gay and straight merely describe what our current preference is at this moment. They are both just limiting terms. If you are identifying as female and are attracted to other females that is not straight anymore. It's either bi, or else your female identity is not legitimate.

[Tracii G]

Oh I see this thread getting clipped very soon.

[docrobbysherry]

Teresa, what I mean to say is everyone is bi. There really is no gay or straight. We are all born with full potential. Gay and straight merely describe what our current preference is at this moment. They are both just limiting terms. If you are identifying as female and are attracted to other females that is not straight anymore. It's either bi, or else your female identity is not legitimate.

"Legitimate female identity"? Ok, I'll admit I don't have one, Wen. But, it took me over 15 YEARS to figure that out! And, it only took me 5 years to figure out I'm not gay/bi. Just straight!:battingeyelashes:

[Wen4cd]

You can call yourself straight sherry, but I won't lock you in that box. I wouldn't do that to anyone.

[Leslie Mary S]

. . . . snip
Men have been wearing skirts in Scotland for centuries.

I have gotten into social trouble by referring to a "kilt" as a skirt to a Scotsman. And I was in AL, USA when it happened.

[Suzie Petersen]

You can call yourself straight sherry, but I won't lock you in that box. I wouldn't do that to anyone.

Huh??? Thats a little weird, dont you think!

- Suzie

[lingerieLiz]

I had a hard time figuring it out in the 50s. I did soon realize I wasn't able to become interested in guys. I liked girls. I did like playing a date with guys who were gay. Gave me a chance to get dressed and go out.

[Wen4cd]

Huh??? Thats a little weird, dont you think!


I don't think it is so weird, since I just got done saying, twice in this thread, that I don't believe in the concept of 'gay-vs-straight' at all, and explaining why.

If Sherry wants to claim straightness, that's fine for sherry, but someone, anyone, saying "hey, I'm straight!' isn't going to reshape my core beliefs on the issue - that we're all born bisexual, or with the potential to be, and that learned behaviors and directed upbringing train us on convention, and lock us into boxes, pidgeonholes of sexual preference. This causes way too much unhappiness in our world, and doesn't need to be fostered anymore. At the very least, I won't do it. Hope that clears up the weirdness.

[Suzie Petersen]

Wen4cd: I don't think it is so weird, since I just got done saying, twice in this thread, that I don't believe in the concept of 'gay-vs-straight' at all, and explaining why.

It doesnt make it less weird that you have said it twice.

If someone tells you what their sexual orientation is, that is what it is. It is not going to change because you decide it should be something else.

- Suzie

[Wen4cd]

It doesnt make it less weird that you have said it twice.

If someone tells you what their sexual orientation is, that is what it is. It is not going to change because you decide it should be something else.

- Suzie

A little touchy on this subject? I'm not deciding what someone likes or may like. I'm rather deciding that this is something they like, not something they are. Also, people do not dictate to me what or how to think of them. Sherry happens to be my favorite person on this forum for many years and knows what playfulness sounds like.

[reinasblack]

Even doctors think those who cross dress want to be women are and want to be with a man.

There are all types of reasons why men cross dress.

[Suzie Petersen]

Wen,

You can certainly have your belief about that, no problem with that. I happen to disagree as I believe we are born with a sexual orientation, be that straight, gay or bi. I do not believe people just chose this at some point in their life.

I do however think that you are right in what you said here:

Wen: ... learned behaviors and directed upbringing train us on convention, and lock us into boxes, pidgeonholes of sexual preference.
and I agree that this might keep some people, who were born gay or bi, from living their life as they would prefer.

It was just your choice of words in that statement earlier that sounded to me like you said that it didnt matter to you that Sherry said she is straight, you would still chose to think of her as bi or gay. That was a little weird to me.

- Suzie

[reinasblack]

When a TG looks better then a GG/cisgirl I think people feel you should of been a girl ,not knowing what you went thru to get to that point are mile stone in your transition. I have seen men go from burly men to attractive transsexuals.they got smaller and skinny then got on hrt and grew feminine proportions and had various surgeries and stuff.

People take the easy way out to make all TG's a monolith. Some tg are TV are drag queen, are CD,are TS are femboy....

[mikeb75]

I agree everyone is born with who they are, It's like saying some can choose their eye color, I don't think anyone would choose to be put through what some people are

[Ressie]

How can those that find the idea of homosexuality disgusting be bisexual (vice versa)? I believe there are degrees of bisexuality but it's on a scale of 0 to 100.

There are many that are at 0 being completely straight. And there are those that are at 10, who are basically straight, but have some curiosity. 50/50 bisexual is probably the most rare, as there is usually a stronger preference one way or the other. Just my opinion from observation and logic.


People take the easy way out to make all TG's a monolith. Some tg are TV are drag queen, are CD,are TS are femboy....

True, but the topic of this thread is narrowed down to crossdressers. I suppose there are many ignorant folks out there that group us all together. And they think we're all gay!

[Beverley Sims]

All I know is when I was twenty I had three female housemates, they saw the value in dressing me as a girl.

Originally it gave them moral support when the boys were attracted to us, I could then dissuade them in no uncertain terms.

As the relationship grew I was groomed as a girl and all five or six of us went on the town.

Yes I did enjoy life subletting the house to three girls.

A major problem was whose lingerie was hanging over the shower rail at any one time.

I always had something to wear Saturday night, just whose outfit was the quandary. :-)

I think I answered the question, as reading through it others seem to be looking at the importance of being homosexual.

Yes I certainly had a gay time most weekends. :-) :-)

That wasn't to do with guys either.

[Amelie]

I agree everyone is born with who they are, It's like saying some can choose their eye color, I don't think anyone would choose to be put through what some people are

Funny you mention eyes. My eyes use to be blue now they are grey. Though unlike what you said, I still didn't choose the change. I'm not disagreeing with you I just thought it strange when you mentioned eyes and mine did change.

Now, what was the original question? Misconceptions or something like that. I think there are misconceptions to just about anything in life. It all depends how one reacts to these misconceptions. Do we cry and complain, do we try and correct them, or do like me and don't give a twaddle what people think.

I don't have sex anymore, I hate it, so I am not gay, straight or bi anymore.

[Teresa]

Wen,
I still don't go along with it, as humans we have the potential to do so many things the way we are wired controls that, my wiring just doesn't click with men in an intimate way, nothing is going to persuade me to change that . Socially I'm fine with both genders, on a day to day basis I treat everyone the same , Idon't feel trapped in any box apart from the DADT one !

[TrishaLake]

I think there are the same percentages for Cds as there are in non CD, plenty of straight, some BI some gay...I don't see how it matters...!

[Tracii G]

I have found the percentages of gay and straight here in CD land about the same as out in the real world.
Really its not something to worry about or discuss at length because there is nothing any of us can do about it.

[deebra]

Referencing Maid's comment that generally girls love to see a guy all dolled up and Jacqueline's comment that the wives she was around were extremely attracted to her and couldn't restrain themselves from touching her; WOW, what does that say about women being turned on seeing men cross dressed and presenting in ladies sexy clothes. Could be the attractively feminine CD puts out a more sexual attraction and air presenting this way than men dressed in neck tie and jacket. Women's clothes and their presentation show sexiness, men's clothes don't. Women aren't inhibited as much as men, meaning in these cases especially Jacqueline's that they were sexually attracted and curious to the female presentation but would also be able to enjoy the sexual experience of what the male anatomy offers when the dress comes off. Just how I read this.

Now my experience on how women have reacted to me when dressed andro and shopping and trying on female clothing, they were very, very friendly, complimentary on me wearing female clothes and extremenly helpful and wanted a connection and made a point to go out of their way when I passed them later on walking through a store to talk and be friendly.

[Wen4cd]

Did you know that in one season you can change the color of hydrangea blooms from pink to blue, or vice versa, simply by changing the ph levels of the soil the roots are in? Also, changes in diet will change your eye color. Just sayin...


But here's Plato, form 360 BC, making more sense than most modern day gender sophists by discussing the way we are born androgynous and sexually whole, and then are split to our suffering and are ever-longing for our lost other half. He does this by speaking with a character about the mythology of 'original man' - a symbol which the Greeks and others commonly use as an allegory to illustrate our 'original state' (ie: our potential at birth, and how it is deteriorated into what we become as unfulfilled adults)

Also he makes mention in this text that gay sex is fine, and was planned by Zeus as a method of human satisfaction. 360 BC was apparently not the dark ages.

Plato (Symposium) :

The sexes were not two as they are now, but originally three in number; there was man, woman, and the union of the two, having a name corresponding to this double nature, which had once a real existence, but is now lost, and the word "Androgynous" is only preserved as a term of reproach. In the second place, the primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite ways, set on a round neck and precisely alike; also four ears, two privy members, and the remainder to correspond. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast. Now the sexes were three, and such as I have described them; because the sun, moon, and earth are three;-and the man was originally the child of the sun, the woman of the earth, and the man-woman of the moon, which is made up of sun and earth, and they were all round and moved round and round: like their parents.

Terrible was their might and strength, and the thoughts of their hearts were great, and they made an attack upon the gods; of them is told the tale of Otys and Ephialtes who, as Homer says, dared to scale heaven, and would have laid hands upon the gods. Doubt reigned in the celestial councils. Should they kill them and annihilate the race with thunderbolts, as they had done the giants, then there would be an end of the sacrifices and worship which men offered to them; but, on the other hand, the gods could not suffer their insolence to be unrestrained.

At last, after a good deal of reflection, Zeus discovered a way. He said: "Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two and then they will be diminished in strength and increased in numbers; this will have the advantage of making them more profitable to us. They shall walk upright on two legs, and if they continue insolent and will not be quiet, I will split them again and they shall hop about on a single leg." He spoke and cut men in two, like a sorb-apple which is halved for pickling, or as you might divide an egg with a hair; and as he cut them one after another, he bade Apollo give the face and the half of the neck a turn in order that the man might contemplate the section of himself: he would thus learn a lesson of humility. Apollo was also bidden to heal their wounds and compose their forms. So he gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, like the purses which draw in, and he made one mouth at the centre, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel); he also moulded the breast and took out most of the wrinkles, much as a shoemaker might smooth leather upon a last; he left a few, however, in the region of the belly and navel, as a memorial of the primeval state. After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one, they were on the point of dying from hunger and self-neglect, because they did not like to do anything apart; and when one of the halves died and the other survived, the survivor sought another mate, man or woman as we call them, being the sections of entire men or women, and clung to that.

They were being destroyed, when Zeus in pity of them invented a new plan: he turned the parts of generation round to the front, for this had not been always their position and they sowed the seed no longer as hitherto like grasshoppers in the ground, but in one another; and after the transposition the male generated in the female in order that by the mutual embraces of man and woman they might breed, and the race might continue; or if man came to man they might be satisfied, and rest, and go their ways to the business of life: so ancient is the desire of one another which is implanted in us, reuniting our original nature, making one of two, and healing the state of man.

Each of us when separated, having one side only, like a flat fish, is but the indenture of a man, and he is always looking for his other half.

[LilSissyStevie]

The more I think about it, the less I know about what it means to be gay or straight. I used to have definite ideas about it the same way I knew what color "fleshtone" was. But now I don't.

To paraphrase Bob Dylan:

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking I had something to protect
{Gay and straight}, I define these terms quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then I'm younger than that now

[Steph65]

Basically you are who you are. Not what people think or their ideas are. Butt Holes are like Opinions every one has one. It is what it is. What it comes down to is who you are inside. As long as you are comfortable on the outside then you are who you are.

The clothes do not make the person.

The clothes tells people they enjoy wearing them.

The attitude and what you like is what tells people what you want and what you like.

Just because you believe what society is saying or what doctors tell us or what psychologist says the truth is with in each and every one of us.

The media can control what people think the people can control what the media projects.

If you want to dress like a woman and do not want to be with guys either date or sexually you are straight. Remember clothes do make what a person is. If it did I wonder what the Innuit would do when they all wear the same cariboo skins!!!! or The tribes in south america they just wear skins over their genitals?

When you assume how some one dresses you belong to the stereo typing group. To assume people are all Bi or because they dress a certain way they are gay or bi then you are stereo typing and follow what the media dictates.

Women wear Cow boy boots guys wear cowboy boots does that make either one gay? bi? straight? Guys wear jeans and so do women. Does that make them Bi gay or straight.

If a guy doesn't like guys and loves being with women he is straight. Same with women. If they only want to be with a guy. To say people are born Bi? No I doubt it at all. You are who you are inside.

To assume is not good and can lead to trouble. To know what people are inside will give you a better understanding as to why men and women crossdress.