why do you crossdresser

[NINA DRAGONBORN]

why i asked this question over and over again of my self and i found out that there is a female in other half of me and she is strong as my male part but she is afraid to show her self and as i my self always respected almost any female i have seen in my life i let her free from the prison my half male has made for her so she never can get out i broke those prison to set her free

and i believe she is as strong as my male part and that is the reason i have start crossdressing

but i understand this only in past 4 years

but i am crossdressing since i was 6 and before 4 years ago i did not understand why i keep doing this but i know the truth about my self

no one can tell me you even do not know why you doing this

i wonder were and why the others start this journey into another mysterious world ?


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[Teresa]

Nina,
Where do we start ? You have to accept we are all individuals and have different reasons for doing it . To some it's sexual to others it's a deep desire to go forward and become the woman they desperately want to be.

I still say you need to think clearly how it started , in my case it's crucially important because how it began was the start of my GD. I know I was born with a female trait which like you is as strong or even stronger than my male side , I also know now I have AGP , to me it's the flesh on the bones of GD, it has finally explained so many things.

Knowing all these things and discovering what label fits is fine , it allows us to explain it to ourselves and then hopefully to others , but knowing is only part of the equation we then have to find ways of dealing with it on a daily basis and work with others that aren't so accepting.

The bottom line is most of us are born like it, it may ebb and flow but it will be with you the rest of your life. Once you accept that you have to work on ways to stop hiding and feeling guilty and ashamed. We shouldn't feel like that or be made to feel like it, when it's something we can't change, it's locked in our heads we have to live it to come to terms with it. We also my have to accept professional help if we can't find our way through it, I finally know what makes me tick but it's almost too late for me now, I'm trying to make the most of and enjoy it, I don't know how long this window will be open to me . OK I'm in a DADT situation with my wife , she just doesn't want to see me , so I have had to work round that situation , I accpet i live a double life and so does my wife to a degree now.

We will never have all the answers, some just accept it and live it others need to know what makes them tick, I'm in the latter camp, being born male and living most of my life male creates a big question as to why a man would want to dress in women's clothes, it really is a complex subject .

[sweetdreams]

We will never have all the answers, some just accept it and live it others need to know what makes them tick, I'm in the latter camp, being born male and living most of my life male creates a big question as to why a man would want to dress in women's clothes, it really is a complex subject .

Nice response Teresa.

For me I've given up on finding the why. Nobody has ever been able to come up with a reasonable answer. So I choose to accept and go with the flow. It's a part of me. I'm just looking for a comfortable groove where it can be a part of my life (dare I say a special part of my life). It's just me. Unusual yes but that doesn't make it wrong. I'm looking for ways to be me with a minimal amount of discomfort. I want my girly side and to enjoy it.

[Beverley Sims]

As your question suggests, Idon't really know the answer either. :-)

[ClosetED]

Welcome to the Forum. Good question for your first post.
No one here can give you the correct answer for you. And you will find several opinions presented - use what seems to work for you. There are different labels, which can vary in meaning, that can be offered. There are "heterosexual crossdressers" - people who fell they are male, but have this strong desire to express femininity. And this may be geneticically predisposed to this. There are transsexuals - people who are born with one genetic gender, but who in their mind are the opposite gender. They desire surgery to correct this error and affirm their mental gender There are those who are gender-fluid who may go back and forth as to mentally which gender they are.
Teresa used AGP - autogynephilia- which can mean that you love the idea of yourself as a woman, but does not explain why. She also used DADT - don't ask don't tell - when your spouse doesn't want to know what you are doing but knows you crossdress. GD-gender dysphoria - you do not feel right about your gender.
There are those who crossdress for sexual gratification.

So some common reasons to consider - for sexual release, for matching your mental gender, for love of the feminine, for being confused yourself about which gender, or the ever popular: I don't know why and don't care-it makes me happy.
Hugs, Ellen

[Tracii G]

Teresa summed it up pretty well so I can't add to that.
The esoteric imagery like freeing her from the prison my half male has put her in is a bit lofty and poetic.
It sounds like you haven't accepted yourself yet so maybe you should work on that aspect.
The reason why you or anyone does it doesn't really mean anything.
You do it because you enjoy it and it makes you feel good.
To dig into the reasons why only leads to more questions that you will never find an answer for.
That only leads to depression ,doubt and other personal problems with friends and family that don't understand.

[wanda66]

Fo me it's a up and down situation. Sometimes it's asexual need othe times it's as far from sex as you can get .like now ,iam dressed and all lady . I've been crossdressing for 60 years ,all i know is that from time to time wanda has to surface and express herself. It's purely a personal and private situation i seldom venture out in public, but have a few times.
I dont have questions any more ,i am who i am and that's it . The why dose not matter.....it took me 60 years to call myself a crossdresser the time for questions is over. Enjoy

[StephanieM]

For me I am a hybrid, I'm part man and part woman. When I'm dressed I feel like I am expressing the woman inside me. Other times I feel like the man I was born as.

[susancheerleader]

For me.
I cross dress because men's clothing is very thick and uncomfortable. For example jeans. Why are men's jeans so thick, and women's so thin... making them more comfortable.
Not to mention the different styles of clothing.
Dress, blouse, t shirt, tank top, skirt, ....
what do men have?
A tux for dressing up. No options
Pants and shirts.
Whoopie!
Women's clothing is so much more comfortable then men's. And such a better verity

[Kelly DeWinter]

I've pondered this question for many years and i'm no closer to answering this then i was at the start.

[LaurenDeHart]

I told my wife that I could not explain it. She replied that I didn't have to. All I can say is ... because it makes me feel good and at inner resolution. OK, I promise ... no more Zen stuff from me :meditate:

[BLACK STOCKINGS]

Cause I can....

[ronda]

the answer is we were born this way our wires got crossed while we were in the oven

[Trione]

Why not crossdress, woman have been doing it for years. plus skirts are cheaper then kilts.

[DIANEF]

Because I want to. Stopped asking myself why a long time ago.

[Diane Taylor]

I believe that the whole idea about "crossdressing" or being a "crossdresser" are terms that have come about because society has attached GENDER to clothing. From birth we are programmed to think that dresses are feminine, skirts are feminine, nylons are feminine, certain hairstyles are feminine, makeup is feminine, etc. etc. and that certain types of clothing and hairstyles are masculine. If, from the time we were born there was no gender attached to those things and we were allowed to choose what styles we would wear, there would be a lot of males who would choose skirts over pants, longer hair styles, makeup and other things we now consider feminine.Too many of us knock ourselves out trying to conform to what society dictates but then feeling guilty about what we choose to do when we don't conform.
Some attach labels to themselves in order to justify dressing in "female" clothing but if there was no gender attached we could wear whatever we liked without feeling guilty or being subjected to ridicule.

[Tracii G]

Why not crossdress, woman have been doing it for years. plus skirts are cheaper then kilts.

And what do you mean by this statement?

[docrobbysherry]

Nina, it was posts much like yours, when I first arrived here, that had me waiting expectantly for my "fem side" to appear. :daydreaming:

After waiting for years, I SOLVED that mystery. I don't have a fem side!:brolleyes:

But, I discovered crossdressing is much like life. It's NOT about solving mysteries. It's about our JOURNEY!:D

274294

[sometimes_miss]

I figured it out. You can, too. But you have to abandon your prejudices, and be willing to accept what you find.

[darla_g]

I used to very contemplative when i first joined here about why i dressed and what it meant and why i did it.

After a while i decided it just didn't matter. I liked it, I wasn't hurting anyone and my spouse accepted it. I became much happier once i was no longer conflicted.

[paulaprimo]

pretty simple for me, the very same reason that i have to breathe... ;)

[Wen4cd]

That's a cool first post, Nina Dragonborn!

Hope you and your other half have a happy union and a prosperous life together.

[Aunt Kelly]

I figured it out. You can, too. But you have to abandon your prejudices, and be willing to accept what you find.

Truer words have never been spoken, Lexi. You have to accept yourself before you can embrace yourself, and until you can do that without reservation, real happiness is difficult.

[Suzie Petersen]

Diane Taylor: If, from the time we were born there was no gender attached to those things and we were allowed to choose what styles we would wear, there would be a lot of males who would choose skirts over pants, longer hair styles, makeup and other things we now consider feminine.

Yes, choice of clothing would likely be very different if we did not associate any particular things with gender.
But, I suspect that even though you often hear crossdressers explain the desire to dress in womens clothes with "The clothes is just so much nicer" or "fits better" or "more colors and choices" what really drive most is the Forbidden Fruit about it, and/or the thrill of assuming the whole role of a woman with not just the clothes, but the body shape, the manors, the whole package.
While some female clothing is certainly softer or more colorful etc, there are plenty of male clothes that qualify for that too, yet that just doesnt cut it for most of us. Thats not really what it is about.

- Suzie

[NINA DRAGONBORN]

Nina,
Where do we start ? You have to accept we are all individuals and have different reasons for doing it . To some it's sexual to others it's a deep desire to go forward and become the woman they desperately want to be.

...

i love to understand other people
believe me when you are yourself you are in strongest position of your life
i wish you all the luck in the world and a good life
my sister

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As your question suggests, Idon't really know the answer either. :-)

you will find the answer deep inside your soul and your spirit
so try to understand your self my friend
i know you can do that
and stay strong

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That only leads to depression ,doubt and other personal problems with friends and family that don't understand.


Tracii G
if you can not understand your self then you will not understand the world around you and why you are different then the others
so get to your self spare some time to get to know your self otherwise you will be lost in this big universe with out understanding
why i am like this
and stay strong

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@closeted


good answer but try to understand the reason otherwise there will be more question then answer
but i believe you have the answer right in your heart and know what is the reason and that is good so
i believe you know your self
and all kisses for you 274310

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@wanda66

you are wise and
and i bow to your wisdom since i am sure you have a lot of understanding and knowledge in those years and if you can give me any advice i will be happy
and i wish you all the goods in the world for you

[CarlaWestin]

Nina,
Where do we start ?

I guess for me, being the youngest, I was fascinated by all of the activity watching my sisters grow up. And, I always questioned why I had to align myself with only the boy activity. All of the beauty, makeup, lace, jewelry and color. The allure of the contour of the feminine forms that my brothers snickered about when they perused a clandestine Playboy. Why observe and only desire to touch.

I'll just become and be with the woman of my own desire on my own terms.


Cause I can....


Nina,
Where do we start ?

I guess for me, being the youngest, I was fascinated by all of the activity watching my sisters grow up. And, I always questioned why I had to align myself with only the boy activity. All of the beauty, makeup, lace, jewelry and color. The allure of the contour of the feminine forms that my brothers snickered about when they perused a clandestine Playboy. Why observe and only desire to touch.

I'll just become and be with the woman of my own desire on my own terms.

[NINA DRAGONBORN]

For me I am a hybrid, I'm part man and part woman. When I'm dressed I feel like I am expressing the woman inside me. Other times I feel like the man I was born as.

i believe we are the same in this thing at least
i also feel 2 gender inside me and both are equally strong
and between us i believe being both gender is the most strongest type of human kind
at least for me its like this i can see what others can not i can see inside the people just by talking or looking or reading what they have written
and there are other things
but i am happy to see some one like my self
i hope we get along as best friends

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@susancheerleader

agree men clothing is really limited and in formal clothing its all the same

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I've pondered this question for many years and i'm no closer to answering this then i was at the start.

this is the best answer i have heard so far and i believe you find your self soon
keep up the good work Kelly
274312

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That's a cool first post, Nina Dragonborn!

Hope you and your other half have a happy union and a prosperous life together.

thanks i believe she is as strong as male counter part and as smart as he is
i also wish the same for you

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i hope i am not hurting any one by answering them personally
i love understanding and helping the others i believe helping others is one of the most noblest thing in the this world
if any one do not like me saying anything to them just tell me
and ask me if you want to know this little creature knows things and will be happy to help you
just stay strong and never gave up

[NancySue]

I had no choice. I began dressing at a very young age. From the moment I put my first pair of panties and stockings on, it felt so good and seemed like the natural way to dress...as have everything else I wear as I've progressed. I've dressed underneath for years, sometimes even on dates. I told my wife before we married, thinking she'd leave. She didn't and is totally supportive. We've spent a lot of time looking for a reasonable answer to "why", but, so far, we've not seen any applicable explanation. Telling her was the scariest, but best thing I ever did. Most women resent secrecy and dishonesty as we see in many threads. I'm straight and have no desire to be a woman...just enjoy looking like one.

[Spiritfox]

This is exactly how I feel. When I crossdressing I feel like I have the freedom to choose what I wear. When I wear men's clothes I only get to choose the color of what I'm wearing. This combined with the fact that women's clothes also feel softer because they aren't made of canvas or heavy denim, and I'd dress every day if I could

[Lana Mae]

At about 5-6 and then again in my teens then in 30's and finally discovered what it was at 65! Why? No one knows for sure! It is just a part of me! The female known as Lana Mae! My feminine side! As to why, I do not care! I just know she is there! Best wishes dweller in Skyrim! Hugs Lana Mae

[XemmaX]

To be honest i have no real idea. I guess i tried it once when i was very young and i liked it and never grew out of it. all i ever seeked to do is to just accept this is a thing i do and how i can integrate it into my life.

[njcddresser]

Four years ago, I accepted to myself that I was a crossdresser. This was after 45 years of knowing inside that I was, ough I really didn't know what it meant to me.

So after coming out to myself and my wife that I want d to wear women's clothes, I've been on a journey of self discovery. What I thought was a desire to wear pretty things is really much more than that. I've learned that my personality is much more of a woman than I ever understood and I've accepted and embraced that this is who I am. Don't get me wrong, I love wearing women's things, but for me this is about something much greater than the clothes I wear

[jami4]

Been trying to answer that question my whole life, I just know that I really enjoy being dressed.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Nina:hugs:, For me, It is just who I am & it's just what I do,

I have been in this program for 70 of my 74 years now...:daydreaming:...

[Mickey_43]

Does it matter? No. Good enough for me.

I quit thinking about it long ago. It's kind of how I feel about cooking. I do it because I can. On some days I feel like working around the house so I put on appropriate clothing and tackle the project. On others, my wife and I call ithe feeling domestic, I want to cook something special for her. If the kid isn't home I put on something appropriate and get busy. Any gender reference implied by the word appropriate is on you, the reader, by the way.

[Jill_cd]

I've pondered this question for many years and i'm no closer to answering this then i was at the start.
Same here...I've no idea.

[Mollyanne]

Why I crossdress is an answer that will NEVER become obtainable. All I know is that I have been doing this all my life, dressing as a woman fulfills something deep inside me. Maybe it's because there is a hormone imbalance, maybe it's because there is a gene mutation or just maybe it's because I like to be dressed in soft, silky fabric that feels good against my skin. Or maybe it's because my female side is stronger then my male side (I actually HATE my male side). Whatever the reason, this is me. I have accepted this fact and have even told my therapist how I feel. I hope my marriage can withstand the obvious and and unintentional pressure that my dressing can cause.

Mollyanne

[irene9999]

Not sure, maybe it's just that I like to look pretty once in a while and this satisfies that desire ;)

[phili]

I've boiled it down [lol] to 4 different reasons that interact, of course, but each one has its own dynamic:
1. Clothes are the primary symbol for our gender identity- so it is my badge saying I am feminine/deserve access to the good things assigned to women in our culture-2. Feminine sexuality -symbolized in clothing- related to number 1 but having its own cycle and some of us may not feel the sexuality part- more focused on other elements of feminine culture
3. Sensual pleasure- what a wonderful set of options and experiences- not rough and tough
4. Fashion options- color cut style etc not DRAB!!

[ginapoodle]

Really good and deep question. We all ask this.

Primary for me, I think, is brain wiring. I am as much F as M. I also think early schooling and family life had some impact. ALL our early teachers were women. ALL of them preferred the "good, nice, well behaved" little girls to the boys. There was strong bias. My father was a workaholic and mostly gone, so I received very little male direction when young. Junior High is when my dysphoria really hit hard: want to be a girl, and admired so much the girls and their beautiful clothes. They just seemed happier also.

Here in my early sixties, I think perhaps there is a past-life continuity going on also. Hard to say on that one.

Sensuality to be sure, especially nylon hosiery. I love the tactile feel on my skin.

First time I had a full professional makeover, the mirror image just stunned me: something deep inside was awakened.

So yeah, there you go. And it is dang fun also!

[Confucius]

Why do I crossdress?
Because it makes me happy.

Why does crossdressing make me happy?
My brain is hardwired to release feel good neurotransmitters (serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine) when I crossdress, and these neurotransmitters make me happy.

Why is my brain hardwired this way?
I suppose it has to to with synaptogenesis in the first three years of my life. Yes, I've enjoyed crossdressing for as long as I can remember. Your brain makes neural pathways that either get reinforced with learning, or they get pruned when they are considered useless.

Most men's brains never get such neural pathways. Why did mine do so?
I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I grew up thinking that parents loved girls more than boys, or that girls got more privileges in life than boys. I just thought that girls were the lucky ones.

Can I just turn it off?
No, I can't stop my brain from releasing these neurotransmitters. It is an automatic and involuntary response.

[Jenny22]

I do it because I was born to do it. Its much more than CDing, knowing all along that I was truly TG, but didn't know there was such a definition that fit me, so many years ago.

[droopydog]

It's mostly the feel of silky fabrics.

[jennifer0918]

I like it

[Erica1148]

I asked myself the same question for years. What is wrong with me! I'd dress, really love how I felt and looked for a couple of hours, and then quickly undress, ashamed of myself as if I'd committed a mortal sin. I repeated this cycle on a weekly, maybe monthly basis from the time I was four. I recently decided to join this forum though, and no longer feel ANY guilt or negativity about my inner female! There's nothing wrong with you or any of us. While we all seem to be fairly unique in our reasons for dressing, or how open or "out" we are with our other selves, it's who we are, and I love just owning it! Thanks to all of the ladies on this forum, I now feel that way and hope you can find the same comfort of knowing that you're not screwed up in the head!

[Joanne108]

I cross dress because I like looking like a beautiful woman.

[Stephanie_V]

For me, there are several reasons. The obvious ones like I love the feel and occasional sexual arousal. Then there are the more complex reasons. The main one is it just feels right. There are times that I feel I was born in the wrong body and dressing allows me to match my feelings and my appearance.
I've been through the usual cycles. I've been married and divorced (CDing wasn't the reason for the divorce). Been caught a few times. Felt the shame, heard the jokes. But ive reached that point in my life where I got to be me. I'm still not to the point where I go out dressed, but it will happen.
So, I guess the short answer is, because it's who I am and I'm OK with that. :)

[Tina_gm]

Why you ask? Because I'm feminine. I don't have part this or part that. I'm feminine, so that makes me like a woman in many ways, I relate to women in many ways, but I do not identify as one. Dressing in feminine clothing is comfortable, relaxing. I really try to keep it all as simple as possible.

[Fiona.raoul]

I've crossdressed off and on since 8-9. I did have a childhood friend who like to dress me. But this was after I had discovered my interest in dressing. I had a few female friends be supportive of it in my teens and 20s and even a few gfs.
It has just always made me feel feminine, sexy, sensual and calm. It is very often sexual for me but I do sometimes just find myself dressed and relaxing with a glass of wine and a book.
I have yet to find s relationship that I can be totally open about dressing, and go through purging my stash a few times a year. I do find the purge embarrassing and expensive as I realize just a month or two later that I need a new wardrobe... or at least a sexy new garter belt and hose.

[Jeanettew]

Well I have thought about that and I just love to wear nice pretty female cloths, love stocking and high heels and dresses, i often wonder why women can wear a suit and trousers and no one looks twice but if i went out dressed in a lovely dress, pretty undies that no one could see, stockings and high heels, felt and looked amazing but no changes to my face or hair, why should people look twice and make comments, men hundres of years aog wore dresses and heeled shoes why did it change.