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View Full Version : Need help I think it's time



Danielle t
03-21-2017, 10:07 AM
I Think it's time to see a therapist. I have a question for those who live in the area of south jersey. I am looking for a therapist in Gloucester county or Camden County area is there anyone that knows one or recommend one? You will be very appreciated for the help. I need someone to talk to that is not my wife. Ever since I came out to her things just seem like it's getting harder for me has anybody experienced that. She is semi excepting but only with certain things it's hard to talk to her about it due to lack of knowledge about it and right now I don't think she's willing to learn about it right now. You are more than welcome to add any advice.

ashleymasters
03-21-2017, 12:14 PM
I don't know that I have enough experience to help much but, I can say that it seemed to help my wife that when I told her I already had a plan. Even if it's a basic plan it helped to be able to nail a few things down so it's not all unknown. I think that would be the most unnerving part is the unknown. So even while you look for a therapist it may be good to day some research and make a plan. It can be flexible and detailed or very broad. But it will give you something to base
Off of. I also understand what you mean that some things she supports but others she doesn't. It may be scary but from my experience with crossdressing and what other trans have told me the "bargaining" when it comes to transition can be dangerous. If for instance she's ok with changing your clothes and appearance but no hrt or surgeries, that's fine but you can't let yourself agree to terms that will make you unhappy. Transitioning is selfish but so is getting chemo or taking any other medicine or treatment. It's just what it takes to heal from a medical condition. You have to be sensitive to your family while they deal with your transitIon but if you need to fully or partially transition you can't agree that you won't because you'll either be miserable or end up going back on your word. My wife was accepting about everything except srs (surgery on the genitals) I told her that I can't take it off the table. She is still hesitant but she knows that I have to do what I need and we both understand it may end our marriage but we're on the same page and that makes a huge difference. I hope this helps some. I'm still learning a lot myself but I identified with some of the things you said.

Danielle t
03-23-2017, 01:27 PM
Ashley

Thank you for the support. I am currently trying to work out a plan do you know if I do decide to transition live in the same boat where divorce will be on the table but I love my wife and kids too much to want to do that to them and thank you again as you're the only one he gave me any of advice

arbon
03-23-2017, 04:22 PM
Ever since I came out to her things just seem like it's getting harder for me has anybody experienced that.

Therapist is the first place to start. I am not from that area so cannot help you with finding one.

What do you mean getting harder for you?

Cheyenne Skye
03-24-2017, 01:15 AM
If you're in Camden New Jersey, Philly might not be too far to go. The Mazzoni center in Philly is a big place where a lot of trans people go for therapy and medical care.

Danielle t
03-29-2017, 12:47 PM
Cheyenne thank you

I work in Philadelphia so I will check it out