confirm my experience: increasing desire with age?

[ginapoodle]

All,

Apologies if this question has been beat to death, I am new here.

And I am 62, and have been dressing since age 11 or so.

So, please confirm or comment or debate my experience: does the desire to dress truly increase with age and time?

If so, why is that?

Yes for me. Part might be retirement and more "me" time and focus especially with daughters launched and gone and wife working part time.
There is a component of "carpe diem" also, the clock is ticking.

Other than more time and opportunity, for me there is still a component of increased gender expression interest.

Thoughts please? Thanks in advance!

[Dana44]

For one. When I was working as an engineer at a big company. I never had time as I have now. So as we get older and semi retired we have more time to dress. In the long past it was mostly on weekends. But now it seems more important.

[Rachael Leigh]

Yes it seems to have with me, age 56. I attribute mine more to accepting me for who I am, so not sure age is it other then maybe a bit wiser. Even that's debateable lol

[kayegirl]

Yes the desire does, or did increase with age. Partly because there was more time available. Partly beca use the kids had left home. Partly because, despite being retired there was more cash available, no mortgage, no other loans, no cost of commuting. But for me the main reason was that I stopped working about other people's opinions, and got on with more ME time.

[sweetdreams]

Yes in my case. Into my 60s and definitely notice an increase.

Here are some ideas I have on why:


Care less about what others think.
As we head toward retirement, constraints of the dress code of the workplace cease to exist.
Retirement often is a mixed blessing. There can be stress related to not having work as a focus. Crossdressing is relaxing to many of us in stressful times.
The clock is ticking, let's enjoy the time we have left.
Testosterone levels can decrease as we age, mine certainly have.
Empty nest for those of us who had children. This represents more opportunity.

[ClosetED]

My theory is that it is more life stage than just numerical age. When younger, it was just us and we started down this path. Then we fell in love and began a family and it took a backseat. Our needs were secondary to the family, but once they were moving out and needing us less, we tend to focus more on our desires and things we deprived ourselves us, along with clock ticking in the background. That age that this hits may vary from when you began family and the number of kids, as well as financial stability. We can see from other people giving their thoughts if this resonates with others.
Hugs, Ellen

[Pumped]

I don't​ think the desire is any more or less, but I agree with Sweetdreams, more time, less concern, more money, more opportunity.

[Jacqueline1965]

Since I have been under employed my desires have increased 10 fold. I think it's because I have more time to think about it and also I have more time to dress the way I want to during the day. When I was working I had a lot more constraints on what I can do. I also think that at my age, 51, the clock IS ticking. There are only so many years left to do this and to look and feel good plus with a supportive spouse it makes it all the easier. I really love everything about crossdressing and relish even being about to wear a little eye makeup whenever I want.

[Rachelakld]

For me, when I was 5, I wanted to work with aircraft for a job and like to dress pretty in my sisters clothes.
I knew that I wouldn't be able to work with aircraft while dressed pretty.
So I dressed (almost) normally, joined the military, worked on aircraft.
After that, the pressures of having a family, needing money meant I had to still keep my dressing a secret.

While these things are still important, I do have other options for money and society has changed so much that it's not much of a threat to my future as I'm no longer on the career building path.

[Beverley Sims]

Certainly all the previous thoughts have a sway on the decision to increase activity.
Social acceptance has changed a lot also.

[Helen_Highwater]

As time has progressed, the goal posts have moved. Those of us post 60 grew up in an era were being gay let alone a CD'er was taboo. There certainly wasn't the level of social acceptance, a more relaxed environment, that there is now.

I suspect that for those who are now in their late teens/early 20's, they're finding it that bit less daunting socially and they've always had the internet. I spent the greater part of 40 years, alone. No web forums, no information, no online shopping.

Hence I feel it's a number of factors. We're more connected and through that empowered. As we get older we become that little bit more self confident assisted by the fact that if we don't do this sooner rather that later, the grim reaper my scupper all our best laid plans. Also as time passes, we realise that this is something that's not going to go away. We're better practiced in the dark arts of makeup, we've acquired a wardrobe of clothes we like and that are ours. No items rescued from the charity bag and then, with wig on, forms in, all the padding and corsetry working it's magic, dressed in our fave dress and heels, we look in the mirror and say, "You know what, you scrub up pretty well so it would be a shame for the world to miss out on seeing it to"

[Jenn A116]

I'm about 5 years older than the OP and I can't say I've noticed a change in my desire to dress. I've always had some ups and downs but overall I'd rate it pretty much even.

[Elizabeth G]

In addition to what has already been said here I had a significant health scare fairly recently and I think that helped bring all of these other underlying reasons into sharper focus for me.

[Donna St. Marten]

I don't know whether it was retirement or getting older, or both, but it certainly has for me. Being retired certainly give you more time to dress, and getting older means you just don't give a hoot what other people think.

[karrin]

yes and yes gina,retired, no mortgage boys have left but daughter is kewl with it. so enjoy :) be safe karrin

[Lana Mae]

Gina, I can only relate my experiences! I only became totally aware of what was going on almost 2 years ago! The Lana in my name is a little girl in a short summer dress with frilly panties and black patent sandals! Preschool age! I wanted her clothes! Wore mom's panties when I could! Teenage-girdles, nylons and slips! Got married wife was absolute set against me wearing women's clothes! Wore some panties about 4 times and purged immediately! When wife passed away(son had already moved out), in about one month I was in panties again and this time they were mine! With the loss of responsibility to my wife and son and with only my adult daughter at home, had more time to dress. It has increased with age and time for me! (I am out to both son and daughter) Son says whatever makes dad happy! Daughter approves but does not want to see daddy in a dress! Now she is not working and dress time cut back to time in my room! She is going away this weekend and Lana Mae will be at home but I have to work the weekend also! But I have the nights! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

I don't think age has anything to do with dressing or the frequency that you do it.

[DIANEF]

The need has definately increased with me, especially in the last couple of years. I'm now 53, still with a mortgage to pay (but not much left) and STILL with the kids at home (one is 25 and shows no sign of wanting to go, the other is 29 and has just come back after splitting with his girldriend!). so less time and more desire. Age as they say is just a number, and I certainly don't feel 53. If I could I would probably dress (almost) every day, a dream for now.

[Jenny22]

What the other elders said, plus the Pink Fog that turned into a pink flood for me.

[Laura912]

It is not that the desire has increased as much as the opportunities have vastly increased. No longer do night call (Closet ED understands that), do not have to go to work so wear whatever whenever, my wife is accepting and understands, and so with older age comes some benefits. My definition of old age...the things that are supposed to get stiff, don't, and the things that don't, do. Sorry. I'll go back to my corner now.

[LaurenDeHart]

It definitely has increased for me. I'll echo some similar comments in that kids are grown, less distraction, more opportunity, etc. But I'm learning that society is different too and I feel much less inhibited and I am emboldened to interact socially (my clock is ticking too) so I dress more often to practice technique. I'm also peaking in my career salary wise so I find that making those "impulse" purchases are less of a strain on the budget! Always with common sense though. My wife is the budget master and she drew the line at those rhinestone thong and pasties. Very impractical, she said, because I couldn't wear it outside the house. :D

Lauren

[RADER]

When I was working, I had no spare time for dressing, except on an occasional weekend.
Now 70 and retired, I have all the time in the world.
It is like being let out of a Bag.
Rader

[JeanTG]

I also have experienced a great increase in desire. I went from dabbling in lingerie and clothes in storage that my wife never wore (and which fit badly) to dressing fully, head-to-toe: wig, breast forms, bra and panties, pantyhose, dresses, skirts, blouses, leggings, women's jeans, tops, shoes. The urge is there every single day, but the opportunities with part-time work, about 2-3 days per week. It's relentless, a non-stop pink fog. Sometimes I try to fight it to prevent it from becoming an obsession, but it's much easier to simply give into it.

[LeannS]

Myself I have most of the day to dress, Kids are gone for the most part cept when the daughter brings over the baby then I am dressed till the afternoon.
He ( the baby) give opa some strange looks once in a while but that is ok he has his right to voice his opinion though crying.
Don't break the bank on clothes stay within reason and be sure to pick up after yourself so you don't leave things around. Still in a dadt relationship but thats ok.
Having fun thats what life is.
and Yes I am also retired.

Leann

[HollyGreene]

I don't think my desire has increased with age. But there are things that have increased:
1) More disposable income to spend on clothes, wigs, shoes etc
2) More confidence about buying women's clothes
3) More confidence in doing makeup
4) Knowing that I really enjoy being a CDer, and having no feelings of guilt.

[ginapoodle]

All,

Thanks for so many kind and informative replies! Themes I hear: yes many do have increased interest in dressing, more opportunity exists, more self acceptance exists. Kids gone helps immensely, so does not dressing for professional work image.

Perhaps most important: not caring too much what others think. Hard one for me, to be sure. This is a very conservative area, and I have many extremely conservative (i.e. under-educated on gender issues and perhaps fearful) friends. I have heard more than once various GLBT bashing sentences. It hurts, but I do not respond.

Interesting that less testosterone might be a contributor? New one there on me.

Living in Houston, TX gives me pause on society acceptance though. This is not a very TG friendly town, or at least it is very erratic. I would have to be extremely careful dressing and then driving anywhere given many neighbors that know me well and a very unusual car.

I need some new clothes. Will work that concept. And makeup.

[Peggy Gardiner]

The 1988 book Transvestites and Transsexuals: Toward a Theory of Cross-Gender Behavior, has accounts from CDs that are the same as given here for dressing more and more as time goes by, some of them from studies conducted almost 50 years ago.

[Barbara Black]

I'm in the low 60's, and recently retired. Surely I want to dress more because of opportunity. But I think I also want to dress more because of advancing age and the wanting to dress how I'm comfortable and feel natural now that most of my life has seen very little dressing. I certainly want to do what I want to do, and to do it for me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina:hugs:, At age 74 and retired for 7yrs. now it just gets better all the time.

I dress for 4hrs. every Morning and a couple hours a couple evenings a week, Life if great...:daydreaming:...

[Becky Blue]

Well From 12 to 40 I was a very occasional CD with no fem persona and no urge to dress. At 40 almost overnight it changed, Becky emerged and dressing went from occasional fun to a need. Since then the last 12 years have seen the girl come and go, but there is a definite trend towards stronger desires. I put it down to a lowering of testosterone that has enabled the girl who has always been there to come out. Also perhaps some subconscious sense of missed opportunity, will it be too late....

[alwayshave]

I know for me at least, I care less what other people think. Plus becoming increasingly comfortable in my own skin.

[CONSUELO]

For me cross dressing has definitely progressed with age. What was initially more of a fetish, especially for lingerie, has morphed into full transvestism. When I look back at my younger transvestite self I see a completely different cross dresser. In some ways I wish I had had a full desire to be a cross dresser when younger as I would have known what was in me and perhaps have made some different decisions in life. The first time I dressed completely was in my late twenties and it was with a couple who were friends. She put on a wig and makeup for me and pronounced that I resembled Doris Day. As I was younger and very slim I wish that I had gone "whole hog" at that time as I would have had a lot of fun and a very different path through life.

Yet who knows. We all come to forks in the road of life and make decisions based on what we know and understand about ourselves at that time. One of the surprises of maturing is that we realize how little we knew of true selves.

[Teresa]

Gina,
I have to say that I was expecting the desire to diminish with age, so it has been a surprise I want it more than ever. I don't believe there's a single answer to it, to some it maybe because they have more time on their hands, or they have spare income that supports it. To me it's been suppressed so long and finally being able to bring it all together and be far more open about it has been a revelation. The other part of me has emerged , it's so good to be able to deal with the female needs in me , to go out and buy outfits that suit me and I enjoy wearing , to apply makeup and complete the picture with a wig and see Teresa emerge . I'm finally being seen as a woman and to some extent accepted as one and it feels so right.
My CDing started with a bang at the age 8-9 years and since then have lived with it 24/7, I know now I have GD which in my case is linked to AGP, at 65 I'm not sure what I can do about it, all I know is I would like to go full time and see where it leads .

My family all know , I'm in a DADT situation with my wife but my children are OK about it . It will be interesting to see what happens when the T level does finally fade but at the moment it hasn't shown any signs of dropping


I agree we don't know how long the window is open to us , the clock is ticking , being in the closet is not an option anymore.

[Joni T]

The desire MAY be stronger, it MAY not. There is no definitive answer. Everyone is different. Case in point-I am 62 and the desire to dress definitely comes less frequently than it did as early as 5 years ago.
Jon

[kelliT]

Yes, all the above- kids gone, more time a thought I have had many thoughts on as I too have wondered if there is an uptake in age. But have also taking things from a spiritual aspect, my truths are as follows. I'm am closer to the goddess in me today than ever before. My need leans toward the new moon, and I feel more comfortable in my masculine mode during the full moon. They say everything is in cycles so I've been watching closely. I wear things from an archetypal aspect. There is the soccer mom, entrepreneur and a few others I find comfort in when I need those aspects of myself. I try to not go to extremes, that we have in the past. Being fully transitioned and loving myself has made me more understanding through the experience, to love my male counterpart. I treat my dressing more sacred these days, and I could have never made the progress I have without the experience of crossdressing

[Stephanie47]

Yes, I retired nine years ago at age sixty. My wife is still, however, she is currently off due to cancer treatment. I have more time to be en femme. My time is well spent being "June Cleaver;" doing domestic chores (washing, ironing, vacuuming), baking, meal preparation, leisurely reading and dining (breakfast & lunch) en femme. The desire is not as intense as when my time was limited during pre retirement. I still need to accomplish the "manly" chores, but, I know my time will always come the next day and the day after.

[Karmen]

Yes, I think it does. It's partly because of self confidence, past experience and knowing what you want.

[Alice B]

Alice has always been a part of me and not a day goes by without the need to express the need. But, my life style and other obligation often get in the way. Many times when I had planned on time as Alice something happens , or comes up that takes those plans away. I will gut it out, or cheat a little with some light foundation, a little mascara and eyebrow color. Not the way I would like it, but keeping harmony has to be the trump card.

[mechamoose]

At the moment, I'm 52.

I have been a 'variant' since I was 23. Probably best identified as Genderqueer at about 1987. I have always felt both male and female inside, but my body at 16 decided to be a 'Big Bad Bull' (er..Moose)

I'm used to being 'different'.

However, that has not helped with the overwhelming feelings I have had these last couple of years.

So yah, it seems to increase with age. Maybe it is being tired of substituting. Maybe it is just a case of the frackits.

All the job requirements, home requirements, body 'requirements'.. that just.. doesn't fit ME. Not anymore.

}:>

- MM

[Ally 2112]

Not sure whether it is the age or just accepting this .As i have got older the more i want to dress and the more accepting i have become

[Aunt Kelly]

All,

Living in Houston, TX gives me pause on society acceptance though. This is not a very TG friendly town, or at least it is very erratic.

LOL... I guess "eratic" is a pretty accurate term for it. It certainly depends on "where in town" we're talking about, but there are places in Houston that as TG friendly as you will find anywhere. Anyplace the hipsters have colonized (The Heights, Midtown) is going to be neutral, at worst, and you'd have to go some to get a second glance in the Montrose neighborhood. Out here in the 'burbs, though, I know exactly what you mean.

So, the next time one of the local girls puts together another GNO (hint... hint...) are you in?

Oh, the age question... I can't say that advancing age has caused it, but it does seem to be a pattern with many of us. My theory is that those of us of the boomer generation are finding enough acceptance these days, that we're maybe making up for lost time. So it's not really our age as much as it is the age, as in "this day and age", that has changed.

[sometimes_miss]

I don't think it increases with age. I believe that the desire is always there, in the background, we're just repressing it. Think about it; when you're busy doing something or doing a task, other things aren't on our minds. I think the first time I noticed this type of thing was, right after I got my first car. When I was upset, or sad, I'd go for a long ride, playing my favorite songs. By the time the ride was over, I would come home, relaxed, all problems forgotten, and go to sleep. Why? Because my mind was focused on other things for long enough, I forgot what was bothering me.
This, I believe can often be what happens to us. At least, it happened to me, so it's not beyond belief that it could happen to others, as well. When all else in my life is busy doing other things, especially if they're good things, I'm able to ignore the desire to crossdress. Yes, it's in the back of my mind, but easily ignored.
With more free time, if I'm not thinking about anything else, the desire to crossdress will surface. If my life is miserable, crossdressing will push THOSE thoughts out of my mind. Only, crossdressing brings about a whole set of new problems.

In addition, as we get older, obstacles to crossdressing decrease, as others have mentioned.

[Judy-Somthing]

Last year when my last child moved out and the PinkFog hit me 90% big time.
The wife found out and is very unhappy right now.
Now I feel that the PinkFog is down to about 10%.
I hope it doesn't come back as strong as last year, I know it would be bad for my marriage.

[Mark B]

My :2c:

1. I don't care what others think when I am dressed, except my wife :love:

2. I don't really think its getting older but just more comfortable and experienced.

3. What everybody else has already said......

[Leslie Langford]

Last year when my last child moved out and the PinkFog hit me 90% big time.
The wife found out and is very unhappy right now.
Now I feel that the PinkFog is down to about 10%.
I hope it doesn't come back as strong as last year, I know it would be bad for my marriage.

Maybe part of your problem is that you are subconsciously objectifying your wife by calling her "the wife", as you have done in many posts here. You know, as in "the dog" or "the car". If she feels invalidated in this way, maybe that's one reason why she is not turning cartwheels over your crossdressing, and is less-than-receptive in terms of accommodating you in this way.

Pay it forward. Something to think about...