substitutions for CDing...

[ginapoodle]

All,

May I ask another question please? A trend I have noticed may exist, data from observing my own life, and other TG people out there.

When the opportunity to dress and gender express is limited, substitutions often emerge.

One TS friend flew aircraft. Another TS friend does very long distance motorcycle rides. Another works and travels to very remote and exotic foreign countries.

Another rides a super sport motorcycle, and I mean a real screamer. Others have obsessive hobbies like model railroads, or art.

For myself, right now it is riding motorcycles. The focus, exhilaration, skills needed, sensuality (yes, very much so) and risk elements all help me with limited, current gender expression. Sort of a release valve, wife approved activity in DADT scenario. I also have a fairly exotic sports car convertible, same effect: just fun.

Do others see the same trend? Or am I imagining things?

Thanks in advance.

[Jaylyn]

Lol I guess my substitutions would be hunting and fishing and farming some.
Wife said I do too much of both, Dressing and the other three mentioned above.

[CarolynO]

For me,when i can't dress for 1 reason or another or lack the desire,A long weekend motorcycle trip is the best thing to fill the void.Certainly makes me forget everything else.

Enjoying the ride,scenery clears my mind
of all worries and regrets.

Not a substitute(only do this 2-3x/year) but a backup for when femme time comes to naught.

[Suzie Petersen]

Gina,

For me, that was never the case. I never felt I was driven to any particular activities as a substitute for the desire to express my feminine side. I also never felt I had to pick super macho activities to try and cover for a stereotypical feminine side. Btw, who says women can't have these interests?

We are all different, and for some .. maybe it is a protective cover of sorts, but not for me, I just like being able to do anything!

I have always done things that were considered wild, stupid, crazy or adventurous by family and friends, including all of the activities you list, with the sole exception of model rail roads ... but that is probably not so wild anyways. You can add the other typical male activities of hunting, fishing, repairing cars or anything else that breaks, building houses etc etc. Spent a lot of time in the military too. The list is long, and fairly typical for that "Guy".

Release valve? Maybe, but not from a lack of ability to express the girl side of things. In fact, several of the "wild masculine activities" have also been done in full on girl mode from time to time.

On the flip side, I have also always had a natural interest in, what some would consider, Girl's/Women's activities. My mother taught me to cook, sew, clean etc and I like doing it. It never felt as a "girl" thing to me, learning these things as a kid and teenager, and to this day I dont associate it with "women's work" or anything like that. I actually feel a little sorry for men who cannot do these things as they are, in my view, just less capable of taking care of themselves and their family.

So from my point of view at least, I dont think your theory is sound, but I am sure it will ring a bell for some others.

- Suzie

[Jaymees22]

I don't think of one the things I did in the past as a substitute for CDing but I think was almost as much fun and that was boating. I find crossdressing as much fun, it's much less expensive and it can be done all year round!! I also tried motorcycles, snowmobiling and more cars than I can remember but I'm sure none of these were substitutes.

[Pat]

Not really seeing the connection. People aren't one-dimensional -- it's not rare for them to have multiple interests. It's not surprising that someone who is a crossdresser might also do one or more of those things as well as crossdress. If there's a connection at all, it would seem to me to be that the things you mention -- motorcycles, flying, sports cars -- tend to attract risk-taking personalities and I'm reasonably sure that crossdressers who go out probably also have a tendency to be risk-takers in other parts of their lives. So I don't think the hobby is a substitute for crossdressing but just a symptom of their personality type.

[DIANEF]

I have many hobbies, too many I sometimes think, but they are all basically time fillers. I could give up any hobby, but CDing is far more than some kind of passtime and is something I would find very hard to live without.

[2BArianwen]

Is there really a substitute? If there were, I wouldn't need to CD.

Rian

[sweetdreams]

I ride a motorcycle. Never looked at it as a pacifier for my crossdressing.

[Rachelakld]

definately takes the edge and focus off crossdressing.
Currently painting my daughters convertable and enjoy lots of other distractions, but then it feels like I have to compensate for loss of time from CDing.

[Maria Blackwood]

I'm writing a book with a crossdresser main character, but it's not a substitute, I don't think. I tend to be crossdressed when working on it. :) If I can't CD for some reason (like, at work), I just compartmentalize.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Gina,
We all have things we like to do,
and those things all take time.

Let Gina take that bike for a ride
and see how you feel!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[Swimtran]

The only substitution that works for me is sex. And in some ways it makes the urge even stronger.

[docrobbysherry]

I don't believe there is a substitute for dressing. Altho, I've apparently succeeded in turning it into a hobby.:heehee:

My fantasy picto stories featuring the adventures of Sherry! But, I can't imagine having her on a bike in more than one story. It would be the same as having her play golf, pool, or tennis in each one. Boring! Unless I enjoyed doing one of those dressed or not!:straightface:

[Teresa]

Gina,
There was a time when I felt needed to bury my CDing , I took on more work to prove I was a man , and burnt myself out in the process .
Men who don't aren't CDers have sports and pastimes simply because they enjoy it . I love skiing despite not being that good . My passion more than an obsession is painting, the ideal situation for me is to dress while working on a painting , I find I'm more creative , maybe because I'm more relaxed, but I would still paint without dressing, it's not a substitute. I find when I can't dress I go and check out the charity shops, or spend time tidying up my clothes.

I think you're making a connection when there isn't one, I would love to dress full time but then you have to occupy yourself in other things, I don't gaze in the mirror all day or keep twirling round.

[deebra]

Nothing replaces crossdressing, it's like drinking a Coke when you really are thirsty for water. Other things are time fillers but they don't satisfy.

[bridget thronton]

Shopping online seems to help when I am too busy to dress or shop in person

[NancySue]

For me, there is no substitution for CDing. It's in a world all its own. However, dressing has broadened my outside interests in sports and hobbies. "She's" always there, while sailing, biking, tennis, etc. I wouldn't change a thing.

[sharonsdream]

Not really a replacement for cd. I ride my motorcycle underdressed. Sometimes my tee shirt nlows up to reveal my bra strap. Have even considered riding fully dressed in aini skirt. Wig under my helmet. So it doesn't replace cd. And as said earlier I can cook, sew and do a lot to help my wife who as rods in her back. I retire from truck driving which I did while dressed sometimes, am a diesel mech. No substitue.

[Nicole_in_Texas]

So this thread is basically about our other passions & hobbies, which I would love to hear a lot more input. I didn't know our common bond was a strong #1 for so many, although I guess it shouldn't be surprising if you're visiting & posting on a website like this so frequently 💄😘💋. Here are the other things I am most passionate about...

-Sports - college fb, pro fb, baseball, hockey, NASCAR; fantasy sports leagues
-Politics - the discussion of issues, engaging in the arena of ideas, NOT democrats v. republicans
-Family - spending quality time w my kids; anything special that creates memories w them; this is #1
-Outdoors - Summers at the lake & a winter trip to the mountains if we can
-Cooking

[abby054]

I tried gardening as a substitute. I thought I could distract and replace. It did not work that way. Life is not that simple. I still garden...a lot! I still cross dress...a fair amount also.

[Mark B]

I am restoring an old Porsche in the garage. I don't have any girlie disposable work clothes.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Gina :hugs: For me there is no substitution for Crossdressing ...:daydreaming:...

[Vickie_CDTV]

What would be a substitute for crossdressing for me... only think I can think of...

A wife :(

[Sarah Doepner]

I've found things to divert my attention away from crossdressing, delay tactics and circumstances that absolutely prohibit the practice. These hobbies, relationships and obligations all worked to keep my focus on those matters, but eventually the committment to those things end and I was left to myself. I always came back. It's part of me in ways that other activities and circumstances do not replace or fill, only push it aside.

But that's me. Your mileage may vary.

[ginapoodle]

Thanks for may insightful replies. Sounds like many do find various hobbies and obsessions to distract from dressing. In the end, we come back to the need to express Femm.

[Stephanie47]

Is it substituting or diversion therapy? I've read numerous posts of CD-ers trying to stay away from wearing women's clothing by engaging in other activities. Sort of "idle time is the devil's playground" theory. Find something else to do to avoid dressing? You can do that to some extent, especially when there is no opportunity to be en femme. But, how often can you take a motorcycle ride to avoid dressing? Or go fishing? I think anything gets "old" and the urge to be en femme will return. If cross dressing is "just" a hobby, and, I read that too frequently here, then get a different hobby that causes less angst, causes less friction with your wife, cost less, and so on. Wearing women's clothing and emulating a woman is a lot more than a hobby.

[Sallee]

I think substitution is for real a way to avoid or not cd. I sail, ski ride bikes etc and they help avoid cding. I once tried riding in CD mode and neither were as much fun. Well it was still fun but I couldn't focus on either. I thinkit would be the same skiing. I do know it is more fun shopping in cd mode.
Maybe this is what the dividing line is between transsexual and a cross dresser. I do know that I don't want transition because I think it would take the thrill out of cross dressing

[Amy Fakley]

For me, I wouldn't say "substitute" ... I'd rather describe it as "distraction". The desire is always there, accompanied by that relentless nagging unrest. That feeling of hiding behind an inauthentic facade can just break me when there is an extended period of time where it is just absolutely a nonnegotiable situation of zero feminine expression whatsoever.

No matter what I do, I'm always going to have that feeling, and it sucks, but that's the deal. I have noticed that it's possible to distract myself in those situations, by descending into some other interest and absolutely losing myself in it. It's healthier than substance use, which is also a phase I went through coping with this.

Right now, I find myself deep in what has turned out to be a nearly 10 month dry spell, and it is wearing me down for sure. So at the moment, I've descended deep into to the world of digital synthesizer design and DSP, trying to learn how to build my own old school analog sounding synth in software. Its deep and complicated and fascinating ... also kind of pointless, I have plenty of actual synths I could play that are a billion times better than anything I could ever cobble together. However, even though that nagging feeling is always there morning noon and night, while I'm absorbed in synth stuff, I'm at least partially successful in ignoring it.

I agree with Stephanie ... for me at least, this far from a "hobby", though I certainly respect that for plenty of people it is.

[kimdl93]

I have a variety of distractions going, so that if I can't dress my mind is engaged.

[Fiona123]

For me there is no substitute. I read, I exercise, watch tv. Nothing compares to the feeling I get when I dress, though.

[Raychel]

Not sure if it is a substitute, but the closest thing that fits the bill for me, is time
behind the steering wheel, A nice drive, usually 7 to 12 hours works, :daydreaming:

Nothing like a good roadtrip.

[ginapoodle]

Stephanie47,

I think you frame where I am pretty well. Hobbies are hobbies, despite being very intense at times. CD ing is who I am. Yeah, that's it. Thanks!

[sometimes_miss]

Yep, through my adult life, I've had several periods where I went for sometimes many years, substituting happy relationships and frequent sex with women, rather than crossdress. When those relationships went south, and I had no other available source of affection, crossdressing desire returned with a vengeance.

[Veronica Lacey]

Hi ginapoodle...

As I dress in limitation and only at home alone I view it as more of a hobby. To enjoy other hobbies while dressed would be wonderful but does not happen for the most part. Maybe that suggests that I engage other hobbies because I cannot engage my dressing often enough although I think I would pursue those "more accepted" hobbies regardless of the clothing I wear.

For those whose lifestyles involve dressing much more regularly then perhaps other hobbies are just that: hobbies. They would not seem to be replacements for dressing.

So I guess there would be some merit to what you suggest for some of us but not so much for others. Interesting observation!

[Karyn Marie]

There is no substitution to my crossdressing or my desire and plan to transition. I do like to ride my Harley, look at the night sky with my telescope, and play my guitar.

[Becky Blue]

Gina, for me there is no substitute if I can't dress I just have to deal with it and wait for the opportunity or wait for the urge to lessen. Not always very easy but nothing really distracts me.

[Confucius]

I don't think you're really substituting but finding an alternate activity which makes you happy.

I believe that we crossdress because it makes us happy. Our brains are hardwired to release feel good neurotransmitters (oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin and others) when we crossdress. Those neurotransmitters produce the sensations we love. Of course, crossdressing isn't the only activity that releases feel good neurotransmitters. Sexual activity releases them. For some people going to sporting events releases them (especially if you're a big fan of a team). For myself, I enjoy long walks in woods early in the morning, lucid dreaming, making people laugh...

However, it really doesn't substitute for crossdressing...

[Jane G]

There is no substitute for crossdress in my life. I,ve had fast cars, Surfed bigger waves than most will. Climbed a few simple mountains and rock faces. Heck I raced my instructor down an absail years ago. Even my 24 year old son thinks I'm an adrenaline junky. But none of those things can compare. They are just fun Hobbies. CD is so much more.

[ClosetedCD]

I have to agree with the rest of y'all, you can only substitute with things for so long before it all comes out. I've tried working long hours and multiple jobs, no luck. I was also a volunteer firefighter for 16 years, again no luck. Currently I substitute it with metal detecting, hiking, and other various outdoor activities. In the end it all comes back as it is a part of you just like you have brown hair or blue eyes.

[Lana Mae]

Gina, there is no substitute for dressing-none! All the other things are other interests. You wouldn't crossdress to satisfy your desire to ride a motorcycle. You could combine the two but to just crossdress to satisfy the motorcycle desire would not work! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae