Just how important is the girl in your life?

[Becky Blue]

I am interested in hearing from others as to how important 'The Girl' is in your life. Is your dressing just a fun activity or does it define you?

In my case from 12 to 40 when I was an occasional crossdresser, it was just something that I did, it was actually pretty unimportant to me at that stage of life, if the opportunity presented itself i.e. empty house the idea of dressing may have popped into my head.

When Becky emerged at 40 and I got strong urges to dress and elements of GD she became a very important part of my life, fundamental I would say. These days 12 years on, I don't go more than a few hours without thinking her. I can't walk past a woman's toilet, a clothing, shoe, too many to name shops without being aware of my female side. I know my thinking is very much aligned to female brains in many ways and i know she is a huge influence in my worklife and even a very important part of how I relate to my kids and wife (very ironic given she doesn't know much). Becky has made me a better person in so many ways and therefore she is an extremely important part of my life.

[Teresa]

Becky,
Teresa is a part of my life, I enjoy what I have to do to be her she, is part of me and in one form or another has been all my life . She could improve my life even more if I wasn't in a DADT situation and that of others.

[Tama]

I think Tama has always been around in one format or another,and has had varied importance from times in my life. Started out officially about age 17, peaked about 21, petered off for 7-10 years, resurfaced again after that, and has upped and downed but always there since then.
But how important? I suppose very important. I can't ignore an obviously important part of me no matter how hard through life we have tried to suppress it.

[LaurenDeHart]

Becky has made me a better person in so many ways and therefore she is an extremely important part of my life.

What a wonderful insight. I too believe that I am a more understanding and caring person.

Lauren

[Ashley090]

I agree with you Becky. For me Ashley is realy part of my life and not here just "to have a fun" ot something like that. And she realy have influence in my day to day life in many ways. Also as for many CDs she changed my world view of women. And with her I can get to "the other side" which I enjoy very much. There isn't day where I don't think about Ash or my femme side in general.
Sometimes I wish I can be Ash forever...
If you are cd, then you can't be ordinary guy anymore :)

[GretchenM]

Hi Becky,

Great question. The feminine in me, until about 4 years ago (67 yrs old) was considered a demon. She made me feel and do things that males should not feel or do. The fact is, she appeared in my identity when I about 6 or 7, I got caught playing with my mother's clothes. I was lectured that "I was a boy and I couldn't be a girl" as a response to my blunt statement that I did not want to be a boy anymore and wanted to be a girl. In 1953 that was not a bad response; today we know that is exactly the wrong response to signs of gender reversal.

In the last 4 years, she has become more and more dominant. On Aug 8, 2012 at about 2:30 PM I read an article in the New York Times about how to deal with young boys who want to wear dresses. I saw myself as a confused and scared boy and everything that followed. It all suddenly made sense. The flood gates opened and in a few hours I sank into something I had never felt before - the despair of having lived a life that was, at times, directed toward killing the girl in me. Now I was forced to accept her. Denial was killing me.

Over about 6 months of incredible turmoil that aspect of my life finally made sense. I accepted her influence and have never looked back. That said, Gretchen is more an internal entity that is key to who I am today. Totally different from the way I was 5 years ago. A great influence and always there playing a big part in decisions and behaviors involving gender traits and characteristics and the behaviors resulting from "doing" those traits and characteristics. But she is blended with the masculine and the two now operate as a collaboration that does so much very differently than in the past. The distinctions between the masculine and the feminine are fading as they become functionally one. The dressing is not an important part of the totality, but, like you, I love to walk through the women's department in stores, slowly I might add, and looking at all the beautiful clothes that would never fit me. I still immensely enjoy dressing, but the clothes do not define the identity. The expression of that identity in clothing is not that important. Being that person and doing the gender identity, as mixed as it is, becomes critical. It influences everything and is a core element in who I am in terms of behavior. It has made me a vastly different person. But I am also masculine and can switch back an forth or implement intermediate blends with ease and comfort as the situation requires. It has been so enriching and I would rather die than go back to the old days.

Gretchen

[CarlaWestin]

Although I was influenced wonderfully by fantastic brothers. I grew up observing the fascinating world of girls. Being truly male, I had the usual hormone driven desire to be around girls and women. I was so involved with their company and companionship, I was able to observe all of their rituals of makeup and dress up and mirror posing. Actually just being the male partner with a girl was almost boring aside from the close intimate contact. So, somewhere along the line there was a desire to just emulate the idea of the perfect woman. Of course, heavily influenced by the images of the era. Carla didn't really get a name until the internet came about. Maybe that's why she seems to be a perpetual 25 years old! Anyway, Carla and my Carla time is extremely important. She exists, at least in my mind, like a real other person that I get to become whenever I get the chance. And, she certainly becomes some interesting characters! And, in everyday drab life, I am constantly noticing how women are dressed. How they do their makeup and where did they get those shoes!? Makes my wife crazy at times.

[Samm]

I'm with you, Becky. I've been dressing all of my adult life. Over 30 years now. It was always a big part of who I was, even though I didn't fully understand it. Now, my feminine side is a larger part of who I am, since I've accepted who I was. That was 2012, when I joined here. 3 months later, I met my wife. I told her everything before we were engaged. She's very supportive. But I do look at things differently now. There's not much I do or say anymore, that doesn't have a bit of "Samm" it there somewhere.

[deebra]

She's there 24/7/365, would love to be a 21 year old calendar girl.

[njcddresser]

My girl is a big part of who I am. I may go days / weeks without being fully dressed but she's always nearby. At this point I'd say my personality is 75% F, 25% M.

[Rachael Leigh]

Much like you Becky I didn't think much about Rachael who had another name years ago either, but as I've gotten older and
this part of me just didn't go away I embraced my girl side and it has changed me somewhat. I too find myself thinking about things as I would only imagine a women does and well once I'm in a store it's right to the ladies section without a thought to looking at men's stuff.

[Judy-Somthing]

I keep trying to tell myself "I don't need to cross-dress", that it's just something I do for fun.

I hate to admit it but, I spend about two hours during the day thinking of women's hairstyles and clothing.

It actually interferes with work i need to do so I guess that makes me a Dressoholic.

[Jean 103]

For the last year I have been living as Jean a crossdressing TG person. I present as a guy at work, but they know. This means like I can share things with the only girl in our office. A boyfriend once told me “you think like a girl”, at the time I was like so I know that. It has taken a very long time for me to come to the conclusion that this is who I am.

[NancySue]

NancySue's been around since pre-teens. By now, she has both defined me and is still fun being her. I'm one who told my wife before the "I do's". Fortunately, with her unconditional acceptance and support, I know I've become a better, more understanding person. Yes, I am aware of her presence and love it. It's fun to see how other women dress, makeup, shoes, and wonder how they would look on me. I enjoy looking through catalogs, too. Because we live in a small town, where everyone knows everyone, I always am dressed underneath, but we also drive out of town to dinner, movies, shopping when I'm dressed. One frustration is, while I do blend in, wearing makeup (not too much) and hose are important to me but not others. My wife wears makeup, but no hose. I try to tell her what she's missing. She just smiles.

[DIANEF]

Agree with pretty much everything that has been said so far. Diane is now such a fundamental part of me that I really couldn't imagine life without her. And as I get older the need for her gets stronger and stronger. Maybe not 24-7, but not far off.

[Lily Catherine]

It isn't right for me to externalise Lily and treat her in the 3rd person. My first steps of acceptance of her presence came swiftly - to some degree I think a narrative of inevitability played a part. Whether the global observer (or any pocket of society, or even God Himself) accepts is another story, and I'll certainly play a small part in pushing for it on my part. I worry less about what I should wear - although seeing myself-as-Lily in the mirror is quite reassuring, even as I mature and eventually age. My actual wardrobe is slowly converging, less whatever dresses I have now. However, in public, I for the most part don't show myself-as-Lily. That's probably going to change in a less-than-pretty way. As I have mentioned somewhere earlier, winding up exactly like Betty/Billy of Bitty Boppy Betty is, in all due seriousness, a massive shortchange - even though there will be spheres where that seems a great deal more anticipated than desirable. Dad, Father and Our Father, for three - the last seems to be slightly debatable depending on whom you ask, and one of the last people I want to be dishonest about myself with.


I was lectured that "I was a boy and I couldn't be a girl" as a response to my blunt statement that I did not want to be a boy anymore and wanted to be a girl. In 1953 that was not a bad response; today we know that is exactly the wrong response to signs of gender reversal.

I would like to point out that in 2015, this was the response I got from my family, as an immediate answer to the rhetorical question "Do you want to be a girl?". Before I could respond - like hell I even could at the time. Effectively - and I initially tried to acquiesce - it was as though they passed me a pistol and asked me to kill (what they saw of) Lily... to do so would pretty much also be to turn the same gun on myself. The assumption on their part at first was that it was probably nothing more than mere fetish - out there with a number of common sexual fantasies. I would have thought so as well, when I first discussed it properly with my father at 16.

I really cannot say what life would have been like but for finding out that Lily was me. I don't have any idea how much better or worse it could have been. If it's my cross to bear, I'll just bear it to the end.

[Geena Gee]

As I sit here at the computer, doing my nails, and pondering what to wear for the day, I'd say that I'm me. When 'en femme', just as in cosplay, it is a total immersion into the role. "If you can't have the girl of your dreams, become the girl of your dreams." One externalization of me is of no greater importance than the other. I accept and welcome both. There is no divesting of my feminine side from my male side. I would have to conclude that I'm pretty much blended. I exist, sometimes confused, but happily!

-Geena

[Stephanie47]

I have not had the opportunity to be en femme since May 2016 due to my wife's back surgery and breast cancer. Years ago such an absence would have driven me nuts. Maybe, it's the circumstances that I accept the absence of fem time. However, I do find some degree of satisfaction being on the forum. And, daily I check out the latest additions to my favorite fem articles of clothing. I am still buying clothes. Since February I've added four dresses, four slips, eight panties and hosiery. I peruse YouTube for videos posted by cross dressers and watch postings of lingerie ads. Yes, Stephanie is a part of me. More so since I've gotten older.

[Dana44]

Dana is a big part of my life and she has made m a better person. She is now a large part of me.

[NicoleScott]

My crossdressing is quite compartmentalized. I'm a guy, always, even when dressed. Nicole exists only when: 1) I unzip the storage containers containing her stuff, and 2) online here.

[Karyn Marie]

OMG Becky, you have hit it right on the nose!....I have been a crossdresser all my life, having started when I was about 5 or so. I stopped for a while, but the thoughts were always there, as were my strong desire to wake up one day and be a girl, even when I was a little kid. I have always felt I was in the wrong body. So, how important is Karyn to me....she is me. I have just recently (within the past two years) put a name to her. If I could be Karyn 24/7, I would do so, and as time goes on, I will become Karyn more and more, and less and less my other self. I too walk past women's restrooms, clothing and shoe stores and think of Karyn. She is always on my mind, no matter what I am doing. I think I am a better person and more compassionate now that I have given myself totally to Karyn. I think like a woman, and am very emotional, even though I have not yet started HRT, which is very near on the horizon. My wife constantly tells me "You are such a girl!" I love it when she says that, and she is so right. I take it as a compliment. Yes, Karyn Marie is very important to me, and could not imagine life without her.

[Scarlett398]

Hi Bec, it's Scarlett. You always come up with some super self reflective questions when it comes to our cross dressing. I just love reading and responding to your threads.

My cross dressing, as noted before in many posts of mine, is both a fun activity and defines me as well. I find the whole cross dressing side of me as sexy, sensual, exciting, fun, revealing, ever challenging, and an ever learning process, and something I think, based on the comments from this girls on this site, I'm getting really good at!

It started as a young boy when I would sneak into my mother's dresser drawers where she kept all of her sexy stuff I would assume to dress up in when it was her night to make love to my father. She had sexy black thigh high silk stockings with black garter belts and sexy black panties of all types and sexy black tops in those drawers. When absolutely no one in my family was going to be home for sure for at least a couple of hours, I would put on some of my mothers really sexy black things, get out my dad's hidden Play Boy and Penthouse magazines and then do what most young boys did with themselves to sexually satisfy themselves back then and what they do now! I would delay the climaxes based on the amount of time I had before someone was due to come home.

As I grew older and became married with children, I never really lost the urge to put on my wife's sexy things and do the same thing when no one was around. I kept it a secret from everyone and no one in my family never ever knew about my urge to sexually satisfy myself while wearing my wife's lingerie (which I picked out and purchased most all of it for her myself).

Over a period of time, I took things to a different level when I started purchasing my own female clothing, accessories, boots, booties, shoes, makeup, brushes, etc., etc., etc. I always kept things totally secret from everyone and basically still do to this day! You girls plus my wife (and her discovery happened not too long ago) are the only ones who know about Scarlett! Now don't y'all feel special!

My wife came home two hours early from work one day and caught me fully dressed up as Scarlett and was a bit shocked but had seen photos of Scarlett long ago and freaked out and I had to purge everything I owned a couple of years ago. Sure wish I had a lot of those boots, booties, and mini skirts back now! As of the last recent discovery of Scarlett, she finally accepted the fact that cross dressing was a big part of my life and had been for many many years. The discovery didn't affect our loving relationship and never will. She knows if it ever came between Scarlett or her, Scarlett would reluctantly have to go bye bye. I love my wife that much! She's a real knockout like Scarlett and dresses almost just like her. Except my wife has a lot of dresses as well and I don't own a dress yet! She still, as mentioned in many of my posts, only wants me to dress up when she's not around and that's just fine with me.

I get plenty of Scarlett time in as is! The most I ever dress up is twice a week. I put a lot of time and effort and ennergy into it as you can tell by my photos. It's usually about a three to five hour process to get the outfits together, shower, shave my legs, put the nail polish and makeup on, set up the tripod and camera, and make things happen with the photo shoot. And then it takes a pile of time to take the makeup and nail polish off, shower again, and put everything I pulled out to get Scarlett all dolled up away.

Girls you know it's a lot of work and takes a lot of time to put yourself together if you really want to get your girl on all of the way! You can see by my photos, I take my Scarlett time seriously and not just be passable but actually become a cute sexy girl who no one can tell is a guy in those outfits with that wig and makeup on. I pride myself on totally transforming myself into a girl without having to take any hormones and have a medical sexual transformation done on me. I respect the girls who have the guts to go through something like that. I couldn't do it because I actually like being a guy and love making love to my sexy redheaded wife as a guy. I'm also a sissy when it comes to pain. The surgery is probably pretty darn painful and even if I wanted to become a girl, I would chicken out for fear of the pain associated with the surgery if that makes sense to any of you girls out there!

Well girl friends, I think that is plenty enough for now to let you know what role Scarlett plays in my life. I hope, Bec, I did a wonderful job of answering your question. By the way, what was your question, Bec, I forgot!...Just kidding girl friend! I remember what the question was.

Take care girls and have a super week. Can't wait for you girls to see my latest pics to be posted on Friday! ...XOXOXO Scarlett:love:

[carhill2mn]

"Dressing up" has been a big part of my life since about age 8. I would find ways to do so as often as possible. These days I live alone and I present as a woman all of time except when my male self is expected. So, it is extremely important to me!

[Sharon B.]

She is important part of my life, if I had to give up a sport I dearly love I would sell out and move somewhere closer to the or in a city and become her 24/7/365. Right now I can be her whenever I want to but I'm still in the closet that door has crack open a few times in the past. I would like to be her more but the vehicle I drive now doesn't fit to well in the city and doesn't go in many parking garages but I need it for my other hobby.

[Aunt Kelly]

Expressing myself as Kelly is very important. I am realizing more and more how much happier I am when I get the chance to do that. It's not just the clothes, makeup and hair though. It's being able to express my feminine side in little ways, to be seen as someone doing that. Don't get me wrong. No one would say that I pass, but I try to blend and for most people, that's genuine enough and they treat me accordingly. That's as big a deal as any other part of it. I'm not sure what that means, but it's certainly something I have come to appreciate about myself, for the proximate benefits as well as the fact that I am a happier, better person overall, even when in boy mode when I get to be Kelly on a regular (more or less) basis.

[Teresa]

Scarlett,
I couldn't go through all that now unless I can get in my car and go out socially , even then it takes me less time, I have to be out the door by 6.15 pm sometimes it's gone 4.00 pm before my wife takes the grandchildren home. OK I shave my body every morning anyway but I still have to second shave and get a meal in that time and tidy everything away before setting off. I have to admit once a month isn't enough and dressing round the house just isn't the same anymore .

[Lana Mae]

Before my transformation and without make up or a wig, I caught glimpses of Lana Mae in the mirror, just short glimpses-a second or two! At my transformation, I saw Lana Mae for the first time and Lana Mae time was 24/3+! I cried so badly when it was time to return to male mode because I had no idea when I would see Lana Mae again! I realize she is a big part of me and probably always has been even if I did not know it! If you were sensitive and knew me well, you would see Lana Mae every day! Hugs Lana Mae

[Angie G]

It started At about age 11 or 12 when I could find the time and place to do it.Till 11 year ago when it hit big I HAD A GIRL INSIDE ME. It's a vrey inportant part of me though my wife is the only one who knows. And thank God she is really O.K. with it.:hugs:
Angie

[Becky Blue]

Interesting responses and clearly I am not unique :). I must add that not only is Becky a very important part of my persona, but i am very proud of who I am and feel gifted to be like this. I know that Trans feelings can bring a lot of unhappiness and dysphoria to many, I guess I have been lucky so far that I have been able to be happy with my duality.