Being a girl or being a guy dressed in girls clothes

[AlissaMurray]

This is the question I ask myself these days. I love to dress and I have a couple outfits that I think look very cute on me. But this is all from the neck down. I have facial hair and my wife likes it, she hates when I am clean shaven. Myself, I don't care much either way. As a guy I surely look better with my stash but it does make it hard to go into girl mode. So I ask myself, what do I want? And the truth is I am not sure. I have been in the closet for over 40 years. In the past few years there have been some people who have found out so it isn't a total secret any longer. Panties, nylons, skirts, cute tops, I love it all. I would guess that I wear clothes fit for a girl maybe 20 years younger than I. I think at times I dress as I wish my SO would dress but she is a jeans and t-shirt sort of woman and there isn't much I can do about that. I am way more girly than she is when it comes to clothes.

So my struggle is do I want to go out as an obvious man in drag or do I want to get a facial make over and try to pass as a woman. I mean, I know I want to do this at least once. I have the need to, I want to see how much of a girl is truly within me. I think a professional make over and some beauty shots would be a lot of fun. But, I am talking on a daily basis who do I want to be. This is a real issue for me because I am happy being a guy but at the same time I have a true NEED to dress as a girl and this is as uncontrollable as most of you understand.

Being accepted as a woman when completely made over is important to many of you, I don't think I feel that to that extent. I'm still working on it in my mind but I think I just want to be accepted as a man in drag which in many ways is even more difficult because I am not trying to blend into the crowd I am simply trying to be me. Anyone else feel this way?

[Jaylyn]

I know exactly what you are saying. I love being a guy but every now and then Jaylyn seems to have a need to pop out. She doesn't stay long but comes to visit when I feel pressure from the outside world or get stressed more than when I am busy. With that said I do certain things that's part of Jaylyn every day such as wear panties daily. I love them and how they feel. I also sometimes wear my hose to further the feelings I enjoy carting around with me daily.
Sometimes though it's just full Jaylyn that's when I shave, bath, and dress to the top.

[Lana Mae]

This is something you will have to decide for yourself. There are some one here who keep their facial hair. I am sure they will reply! Are you out to your wife? Maybe share with her. Best wishes with your decision! Hugs Lana Mae

[2BArianwen]

I'll be following this thread very carefully!!!

Rian

[Teresa]

Alissa,
The answer is go with what you are comfortable with.

I don't want to be seen as a man in a dress so I wouldn't be comfortable with dressing and facial hair, besides as I now go out socially full makeup and a wig are part of me as Teresa. I do believe you will get your dressing age into perspective if you did try being clean shaven and try full makeup with a wig . To me paying for a full makeover would be stretching my budget , I'm happy with what I can achieve for myself. In your case it will provide an immediate answer to your question, I would think it will be a safe bet that when you see the guy disappear there will be no going back, seeing the full transformation for the first time is mind blowing . You will also know then how you wish to dress and what age to pitch it at. Many of us find the full makeover knocks a good ten years off us , I was very flattered when a GG I bought a wig from thought I was in my mid forties.

I do admit I have GD and AGP so I do want to be seen and accepted as a woman , I do dress at home without makeup and a wig but prefer not to be seen like it, so a man in drag isn't for me, it's more of a practical thing .

[jane_wills89]

The moment I saw this post, I wanted to reply to it :) I absolutely love crossdressing. However I am also compelled to balance the other facets of my life. My girlfriend loves me head shaven and with a beard. I love her so much that I want to maintain that appearance for her. The Jane inside me however wants to clean shave, wear makeup, wear a floral dress, heels and stroll through the city shopping. So it's always an internal clash as to who I truly am.

I did even try crossdressing the first time in public with a beard wearing a lace top and a skirt. It felt so liberating.

I think I will always wear a blouse to work or a skirt in public. I have come to accept of who I am. I love crossdressing but there are other things I love as well. The challenge is in balancing all these. Dressing always and unleashing Jane whenever I get the chance :)

[Vikky]

Hi Alissa
I m in similar circumstances to yourself. I have a beard, and had it for 30+ years, but would like to get rid of it so I could pass more easily. Never been out as a result. I dress because I feel the need, but like being a guy. My wife knows about my CDing but thats all and its DADT.

I have just had four days to myself, undersdressed or fully dressed the whole time. Loved it, and had hoped to take a drive dressed below the neck - only reason I didn't was the dog was sick just as I was getting the keys etc, so it needed clearing up - in dress, heels etc! - and when I was ready the neighbours kids were playing outside. AAARRRGGGHHH. Would have been the first time for me.

I may take the plunge and get rid of the beard. Don't know.

Vikky


Vikky

[AlissaMurray]

I don't really want to be seen as a man in a dress either, but at the same time I am NOT looking to attract men so there is a real catch 22 there.

[Mickitv]

I love dressing and feeling feminine. I even feel the same when I am just wearing panties and bra under my male clothes. I just do what makes me happy.

[atxpantyboy]

I'm another one who is pretty comfortable being seen as a guy wearing women's clothes, painted toenails, lotion/perfume, etc. I have gotten completely dressed w/makeup and wig before and I did enjoy it and was very passable. If I met a girl who was really into it and encouraged it further, I'd probably do it some more. I have in the past, and it was fun letting her take control and dress me up. But for my own needs, just expressing my feminine side in semi-subtle ways while still being a guy seems to satisfy me.

[Teresa]

Alissa,
If you're not interested in guys you won't attract them, I'm not interested and so far it hasn't been a problem , and that's going out socially, OK I have had a couple of pecks on the cheek , one guy was the worse for wear and kissed everyone and the other was a touching thankyou.

[Diane Taylor]

Sounds like a one way street here. Your wife won't dress in girly things and she wants you to keep your facial hair. Maybe a compromise would work . Shave the facial hair but tell her you're willing to grow it back if she dresses in a more feminine way. Then after a couple of months or so, she could go back to jeans and you would grow your facial hair back. Switch back and forth and that way you both get what you want even if it is temporary.

[jennifer0918]

I like the full makeover,makeup,legs waxed,and face shaved.At work and from my wife I get a lot of drama though.With this said a man in drag does not fit for me ,when I used to dress in my home I would get fully dressed with facial hair.Now that I have been out in public I prefer to try to pass as a woman even if it's for a second before I get clocked.The way I see it I picked Jennifer as my name if I wanted to drag I would of picked a drag name like Extravaganza Eleganza, this is my opinion about me only, and I do not mean to offend anyone please,we are all one community.

[Tracii G]

Diane's idea in post #12 might work.
I never want to be a man in a dress when I go 100% girl mode because to me its more than just the clothes.
Facial hair can grow back so shave it.Its not that big a deal.

[NicoleScott]

It may he a gross generalization, but my observation is that women are far more open and likely to change on a whim their hair. makeup, clothing style, etc. than men. One day straight hair and curly the next, clear lip gloss then intense color, short skirt then long, high heels then flats, dress then pants, etc. Of course, these are temporary, one day to the next. But even changing hair color, length, or style seems easier for women. For me, guys i knew, and some forum members here, shaving facial hair is a big deal. We seem to agonize over the decision. I wonder if crossdressers agonize over it more than non-crossdressing men.
When I finally shaved my facial hair long ago, I did it to allow me to transform into (as best I could) the image of a woman IN THE MIRROR, not for going out. Eventually and much later I did go out but that's not why I shaved. In other words, I did it to achieve the look I wanted for myself to see.

[Tracii G]

Exactly Nicole.
I had a beard or mustache from the time I was 17 until 40 something and it was a huge deal to shave it off.
I did shave it to enhance my female appearance true but being rid of the facial hair was awesome.
No plans on ever growing it back.
I have to add who wears the pants in the family you or your wife?
Have you discussed the way she dresses? My guess is no because you know she would get mad.
If you want to shave it off do so because she dresses the way she wants to without concern how you feel.
Having facial hair is your choice not hers.

[docrobbysherry]

Allisa, most of us accept seeing ourselves as appearing to be men in dresses. And, that many people see us that way when out.:daydreaming:

I am NOT satisfied seeing a man in a dress in my mirror so, I don't. Even when I'm wearing a beard and stach. :heehee:

But, I can't wear masks out. And, after 8 years of going out in public, I'm still trying to get used to being seen as a man in a dress when out. :sad:

[AlissaMurray]

Yes I am out to my wife. I would say she is "neutral" on the whole thing. She loves me, in a dress or in jeans she don't care much either way. She buy's me things here and there and has no issue walking around Goodwill or Walmart or Sears or any place like that looking for things that "Alissa" would like. So I am pretty lucky with all of that. My heart truly goes out to those who are in a DADT situation with their SO's, that truly has to SUCK. With that being said, even though she will "go with it" I won't say I think she likes it. It would be just fine with her if I never dressed again and in many ways that bums me out. I wish she would get more into it knowing how much it means to me, but I will take what I can get. I dress at home a lot. I work nights and as soon as I arrive home in the morning I dump the jeans and work shirt for a bra, top and a skirt "with tights because of the cooler weather" and that is how I spend my day. I go to bed in a long nylon nighty, panties and a unpadded bra that just kinda holds me snug. I love it, I don't know how else to put it. I guess I kind of treat my body as if I were some sort of princess, never really thought about it like that before but it makes good sense. Life is so short, I see no harm in doing and wearing things that make me feel special. I recently finally figured out how to tuck, I had read a lot on the subject but things just were not working right but the other day BAM there it is, or isnt... It's awesome actually. Opens a lot more options with things I can wear and look good in.

Honestly, I know to further explore "Alissa" the goatee has to go. I guess as far as guy mode goes though, I really prefer the stash. I know I am going to be back and fourth on this for a while. The older I get the more "Alissa" want's out and I know the time will come when she will not be denied...

[~Joanne~]

I will agree with every one that said if you want to shave it off, shave it off. I am pretty sure that no matter what your situation is or who you are with, the other doesn't ask your permission to do whatever they want to their person whether it's shaving, not shaving, tats, piercings, whatever..... so why would you?

The same could be said about your clothing choices also. If your out shopping with your SO and she sees a shirt in the men's department, she goes and gets it. She doesn't ask permission or what you think (well, maybe about the design on it) about it so why should you when you see something in the women's section you want?

We have way too many double standards in the world and it's because while one can and will the other won't and doesn't make a stand about it.

[ClosetED]

I had a mustache for 30 years and shaved it off on April Fools day about 7-8 yrs ago. Wife did not notice that AM. Now she like a 2 day stubble, so I give her that usually 4/7 days of the week and shave clean the others, when I have an opportunity to dress. I think the professional makeover and pictures is the quickest and best way to know what can be achieved and will likely amaze you. Then decide on the balance-once a week, month, quarter
Hugs, Ellen

[kimdl93]

Quite a different choice depending on how you see yourself and how you wish to be seen. I can't do the guy in a dress mode....I need to be all in, 100% female in presentation, even if I'm easily read.

You're needs are different and that's fine. I admire the guts it takes to be precisely yourself, whoever you are.

[Nicole90]

I have to say I feel similar. I don't necessarily need to be passable. Just enough so I'm not just a guy in a dress. I have the need to get fully dressed and go out. So you are not alone. I say you have to try it at least once

[Sarah Louise]

I don't think many women would be happy if a man dictated how they dress and do their hair. By all means a man can have an opinion, but at the end of the day it should be the woman's choice. So why should your wife dictate that you have a beard? If you want to shave it off, shave it off. Just say you fancied a change and were fed up with it. You can always grow it back again.

For me, dressing is all about trying to look as feminine as I can so facial hair is a non-starter. Each to their own though!

[Becky Blue]

Alissa, a few comments, I can only speak for myself. After 30 years of very occasional CDing, at age 40 I suddenly felt very strong urges to dress and almost overnight I went from feeling I was a guy to feeling I was more a woman than a man inside. My first makeover about a month after I started feeling like this was a game changer. To see myself as a woman properly was indescribably amazing and that moment confirmed my feelings. I stared at that mirror for ages as my eyes drank in what they were seeing and my brain said this is me.

When I dress I have to feel feminine as well as look it, so I am not even happy if I have any body hair at all never mind facial hair. Alas sometimes its not practical for me to be smooth allover, but I don't feel right unless I am. It seems to me that your heading down the path of needing more.

As regards to your comment about attracting men, when I go out I am like 99% of women I dress my best for myself and if anything its to impress women. As by far the majority of us on here are not attracted to guys, thats really a non issue.

[LaurenDeHart]

I agree with Ellen. I have a pro makeover/transformation/photoshoot appointment in a couple of weeks. If she cannot achieve the look I desire I certainly cannot. Keep-in-mind that there are various factors in play first of which are my age and how I wish to be perceived. Someone in another post used the word "blendable". I would be very happy to be blendable, not necessarily passable.

My SO and I agree. Do it at least once. If you have access, give a pro a try to discover the possibilities. My ultimate goal is to make my SO comfortable with my look in public settings. I have so much to learn before that happens.

Bottom line, if the photoshoot demonstrates possibilities I will post some pics for feedback. I would be nervous about it as this would be step 2 in my coming out plan so it is significant to me, but baby steps and all that :)

Lauren

[Mollyanne]

I don't have facial hair so that is not the problem for me. My wife has seen me "dressed" from the neck down and as most wives go, she is NOT happy about it. When I am dressed, I see myself as being a woman and to be honest I LIKE WHAT I SEE AND FEEL!!!!!!! I don't want to be seen as a man in drag so I guess you can call me a "stay at home dragster". I do go out at night for a drive and that fulfills a very basic need but I need to do more and at one point I guess I will. If you feel satisfied and fulfilled in your situation then accept it and be happy.

Mollyanne

[Ceera]

When I was first getting into wearing women's clothes, it was after over 30 years of trying to play it straight in a normal, hetro marriage to a wonderful GG lady. From the first years when we started dating, I spent most of my life fully bearded. She really disliked it on the few rare occasions when I shaved off my beard, in part because she was older than me, and when I was beardless, I dropped even more apparent age and she thought everyone would think she was 'robbing the cradle'. I pretty much liked the freedom from daily shaving, as well as how I looked with a beard, so I just kept it neatly trimmed and stayed bearded.

When I started to give in to my feminine urges, my first thoughts were that 'of course, I would never end up actually going out and pretending to be a girl, because how could I, with a full beard?' How could I begin to justify shaving it off, just to make that 'fantasy' easier? Well, it didn't matter anyway, since all I was doing was underdressing with panties under my male clothes, and that with my wife's consent. I did have a small gym bag that contained a full female outfit and a wig and a padded bra, but I only played with that while alone at home... I wasn't going to risk damaging my marriage by going further.

After my wife died, I got bolder. Well, a little bolder... I decided I could get away with dressing as a female in public when in a costume that hid my entire head - like attending a 'furry' or Anime convention and occasionally dressing in a female fox mascot costume. I tried it, and loved it, though it forced me to at least try to also come up with a female voice, so I could communicate with others. Not too hard, at that stage, as the full head fox mask already muffed and distorted my voice a bit.

But eventually I realized I really wanted to at least try to go out and really pass for a girl. So I shaved the beard, worked on makeup skills and voice, and gave it a go. For me, even though I still was so poor at makeup and had such a bad wig that I didn't pass well, I really enjoyed it! It was a turning point for me when I soon tried a better wig, a professional makeover, and my best attempt at a girl voice, and actually passed as a real female in a mall and at a restaurant. That made it clear to me that I really wanted to go out a lot more and be accepted as a female. I never would have reached that point if I hadn't tried to go all out femme.

But at the same time, if it hadn't worked out, I could easily have grown the beard back, and set aside the fantasy of going out as nothing more than that, and contented myself with just dressing a bit at home. At least I would have known I tried, and that it really was nothing more than a fantasy. Or maybe I would have come to the conclusion that being accepted as a girl didn't matter after all, but it was cool to be 'a guy in a dress', and I didn't care what others thought when they saw me and I wasn't 'passing'. Again, I would know more than I had before.

My advice would be to try going full-femme with a proper wig, breast forms, makeover and no beard, even if it's 'just this once'. Try for the beauty photo shoot you mentioned, and maybe a nice dinner out as a girl after you're all dolled up, preferably with your wife. See how it feels. You might love it, or you might hate it. You might pass, or you might not. But you'll learn more about what matters to your happiness, no matter how it goes. And if being a guy in a dress - in public or just in private - is your decision, then by all means, enjoy it! Makeup can be washed off, and beards grow back. It isn't a one-way street, so explore it, and learn more about what makes you happy.

[Melanie Sykes]

I had a beard for 10 years prior to this February - not a full-on hipster beard, but more of a long stubbly one. As my work used to take me around the country, and sometimes the world, I used to dress after work whenever I was safely far away enough from people who might know me. I've been shaving my legs for a long time now so I can wear dresses, skirts and tights: my legs look fabulous in them (though I am biased)! I always kept the beard though because I liked how it made me look as a man, but mostly because my wife liked it. Obviously with a beard you can't wear makeup and/or a wig, breast forms, shapewear - and even a feminine necklace looks ridiculous.

After having the beard for about 5 years, I felt the need to experiment with makeup and a wig, so one particular trip away, I shaved it off. I had fun buying and learning to use the makeup. I wasn't passable and it was not a good wig but, as I was on a different continent, I was unlikely to run into anyone who knew me. When I got home my wife instinctively knew why I'd shaved the beard (we have a DADT relationship about the CDing) and told me she didn't want to be married to me any more. We somehow got through that, I grew the beard back and continued going out occasionally as a man in womens' clothing when I was away.

About another 5 years later I got the urge to try it again - partly because I'd enjoyed the experience last time, and partly because I was increasingly feeling that I needed to "complete" myself. There would also be the additional benefit that at least I wouldn't be instantly recognisable if I somehow appeared on social media or walked around a corner into a live news broadcast. Cameras are everywhere now. Also, I was irritated by the sense that I couldn't even control the status of my own facial hair.

So I shaved the beard off again. I simply came down from the bathroom one night clean-shaven. I had casually mentioned shaving it off a couple of times to gauge the reaction, and it was indifferent really. My wife doesn't like me clean-shaven (ironically we'd been married over 10 years before I ever grew it in the first place!) but at least she hasn't threatened to leave me this time.

I bought more makeup and a better wig, and went away on my own to a hotel for a few days. I went away clean-shaven with a full complement of makeup, wig, jewellery, shapewear - everything that could possibly make me passable. A real problem is that I'm well over 6 feet tall, with huge hands, so no-one at any point was fooled, but people were slightly more courteous than when I was overtly a cross-dressing man.

On the final day of my trip away, I dispensed with the wig. I decided that it was more comical looking than effective for my needs, and I concentrated on trying to achieve a natural look with makeup and my own hair. Luckily my hair hasn't receded and I have plenty of it. It's also quite "fluffy" so can appear quite feminine. My attitude was that I would just simply "be myself" and not try so hard to blend in, as you mentioned, Alissa. This was not entirely successful - people seemed distinctly more uncomfortable around me than they had been with the wig, and I guessed this was because I was now not just a man wearing womens' clothes, but also a man wearing makeup. The makeup was quite subtle I felt, softening my face and features but with very light blush tones in the right places. Still, it was not a roaring success, and I think that I also would like to spend some time with a pro and see what can be achieved with my masculine architecture.

After nearly 2 months without a beard, I am now used to my own face again and I like it. It's much easier to just shave my whole face in the shower than it was to try and maintain a defined beard shape. I can apply makeup whenever I please - and I find this a soothing process - as long as there's no trace left by the time I see someone I know.

What I have gained from shaving is a lot of enjoyment from putting on makeup and jewellery. I haven't gained passability, which is a slight disappointment, but something I never really expected anyway. I've also gained the possibility of being less recognisable when out and about with makeup and a wig. When so dressed I can also wear forms and shapewear, and clothes fit so much better when you wear breast forms. I also feel more in control of my own look now, whereas before I felt sort of imprisoned in the beard.

On the negative side, I do feel slightly less attractive as a man, and my wife keeps hinting at my growing the beard back. I also feel in the changing rooms at the gym that my clean-shaven legs and face positively scream "cross dresser!", although that initial paranoia is subsiding now: most people don't even seem to notice. I also get comments from my daughter about how much I look like my father now my beard has gone. But that's not such a bad thing.

My own dilemma is that I'd like to grow the beard back but then remove it whenever I want to use makeup. It takes about two weeks to grow back fully. But my wife won't like that - as another poster has said, men don't change their hair that frequently. Plus, my wife would know why I was doing it, and that would re-open old wounds. So I'm enjoying being shaven for now, because when the beard comes back I'll likely be stuck with it for some time.

[CateNatalia]

Alissa, I completely understand where you're coming from - but I think the answer lies in working out what feels best and comfortable for you. When I went through a period of not dressing at all, I grew facial hair and liked it - but now that I'm dressing again, I'm clean shaven again, because it's important to me to look as feminine as I can when dressed. But that's just one way of going about it.

If you're more comfortable being a man in a dress, then why not? It's about your feelings and that's what's important. If you go for a professional makeover and it changes your mind somewhat, then that's fine too. I would say go with the flow and just see where it leads you. Most of us are experimenting in many ways and this is just one area of constant experimentation.

[Traci H]

I find the guy in a dress scenario very non-appealing. I have no issue for those that wish to pursue this path, its just not for me. It is a little bit of a conundrum however in that I like to pull women's clothing into my daily wear. Underdressing, jeans, maybe a top and I am thinking of adding a bracelet. I know, not all that far over the edge, depending on the presentation. Regarding facial hair, I have a small strip of it under my nose and am thinking of shaving it off. My one fear is that my wife will see that as a concession I am making to dress more like a woman, and lash out. She is non-supporting and makes comments about my dressing and how she might have to due something about it. Then life goes on. Right now, no matter what I do, it (mustache) kind of shows that I will not present in public like a women. One of these says however, it is going to be gone, lest I be a man in a dress.

[SometimesKairi]

For me,
I am a man.
I like to wear women's clothes in private as they make me feel attractive.

I don't feel, act or think like a girl.

Some people will feel the opposite.

So if you feel happier as a man in a dress, then do that, if you feel happier as a woman in a man's body then do that.

Pretty simple.
Do what makes YOU happy

[Bobbi46]

"Being a girl or being a man". Very thought provoking I don't feel one or the other sure I like to feel feminine and to dress in a feminine way, that's we all do. But feeling more one than the other then I must say that I more on the girl side and at times I actually loath wearing drab but sometimes demand on occasions so be it but if life were just a bit different and acceptance more widespread then "being a girl" would suit me down to the ground.
What also comes to mind in this is being gender fluid.

[Scarlett398]

Same here, Bec. Straight as an arrow and very happily married and I have absolutely no sexual attraction to guys at all. I guess I do dress to impress women and mainly dress to totally be seen as a cute, sexy girl who's really nice and has a lot of class and really good taste in style and clothing.

When I am dressed as a guy, I'm mainly dressed to impress guys and girls but still have no sexual attraction to guys, I just love out dressing them in guy mode. I am I guess one of the few who like to dress up in an up to date slick looking slim cut suit with expensive shirts, ties, and shoes. And after church going to a restaurant or even to Walmart to pick up some groceries with that sexy redhead of mine looking like a fashion model herself.

Ever since I was a little boy, I have always had to have fashionable and well fitting and good looking clothes and the same thing happened when I started to cross dress. It's got to be fashionable, well fitting, classy, good looking clothing and footwear. To answer the what I think the question, I do feel extremely feminine while dressed as Scarlett. And by looking at my photos in my posts, you can understand why I feel so feminine when all dolled up getting my girl on as Scarlett!
Just my 2 cents worth! :2c:

[Periwinkle]

I'm almost entirely attracted to men, but I certainly don't dress up to attract them. I'm with a man who sees me as a man, and I wouldn't want it any other way.

When I dress up, I'm doing it for me alone. I don't feel like a girl when I'm crossdressing, but I definitely feel feminine and pretty. I also feel very asexual and aromantic. If some guy started coming on to me while I was dressed up, I would feel extremely uncomfortable.

[S. Lisa Smith]

Lisa season ends for me when it gets warmer here. Perhaps you could shave your goatee in the winter and grow it again in the spring/summer? That way both of you get a part of what you want.

[Brandy Mathews]

Alissa,
I understand the way that you are thinking but being clean shaven and just dolled up to the hilt is an amazing feeling. Being able to feel and see your feminine side is an amazing feeling, I think. And the make over and photo shoot will make you feel so good too. I think that you should do it. If not, you will never know how good it feels.
Hugs,
Bree ;)

[Mark B]

I have no interest in passing as a female. Thus, I have been going out regularly wearing skirts, dresses, hose, and 3 or 4" heels and not caring at all what others think.

I have no facial hair as I shave regularly. But I don't shave to wear make-up. I also shave my head, as it was getting so thin anyway. I have been shaving my legs and body now for a few decades. I will occasional wear make-up, mascara and lipstick only, with a wig when I go out with the wife as that is her preference. To me, it really depends on how you want to see yourself. I personally don't like it as much when I look in the mirror and see myself with a wig and make-up. I do however love seeing myself wearing women's clothing mixed with some man stuff.

Just do what you feel comfortable with.

[Devi SM]

Allisa, we usually care a lot about how other sees us. All of us look for acceptance and more when dressrd as a woman.
World is really open today but not enough for a common man in drag. For me is a guy dressed in women attire, more for a show, but when we are able to fully dress, you can read tons of experiences here, it changes your life.
Your family is used to see you with beard and at the beginning without beard they will comment. But very soon they will accostume, even your wife, just push it a little.
It's different for our family, especially our SO, but even she should be able to understand that we change, we have the right to change, women do all the time and we usually don't complain.
I don't know how old you are, for your comment you must be over the 50s, but let me tell you that with no beard you will look 10 years younger, that's one thing that may be your wife would like , if not tell her to give you a chance to try and get she acquainted with that, after some weeks she will be fine, then try to find out your opportunity to fully dress. !you're going to love it! .
Paraphrasing my signature, every day is precious, it goes and never comes back, what ever you did, did it, but if you loose your chance to do it the remorse could be big.
Go for it!...and of course post some pics.
I know this is not the but not versus girl pics threaf but for the first time in a public website I'll post together who I'm with brars(6 years ago) and who Vanessa is now.
How could that beautiful woman express herself with a beard?

[gina shiney]

The beard debate continues
From reading on this site there are many views on with or without , acceptance of one's look is a personal thing. I really can feel for those who for one reason or another can't shave when desperately needing wanting to achieve the look. For myself that is the case, the thirty plus years of identity is hard to erase for our SO family friends and employment. The latter doesn't apply in my case but does for others.
Ok I don't feel male or female, circumstances are others see me as male and yes I have a beard (now not my preferred choice) these same others have influence on my life as I have influence on theirs. Wife children parents etc. To help ME achieve some form of balance I shave every where else ie fingers arms legs and so on, my wife occasionally helps out with the back, I use perfumes that are light and fruity underdress always and have been doing so fulltime for a few years. Sleepwear has crept into my being of recent times and really does complete more of ME. (Children now knock on bedroom door and wait before entering,massive difference in SO & my life's) I cannot use mirrors while having a beard and whilst my wife accepts my mental condition (neither male nor female in my thinking) cannot accept the state of me not presenting male to most of her world. She is a t shirt and jeans girl so clothing is just that, but not so for me. I am not female just like to be feminine and would like to present as one. I do not dress or think of dressing to be attractive to males as any male especially alpha are threatening to me.
What you can be comfortable with is always going to be a compromise , for those of us on this site more so.
gina shiney

[Sandin Meknickers]

I have facial hair sometimes in my daily life. The SO prefers shaved but this part of me has been mentally inaccessible for many years so i've been a lazy brute. When i lost a lot of my hair around 30 it crushed me and it took a long time to come to terms with that on any level haha. So every week or 10 days I clipper my head and face so I often stun clients i only see on a monthly basis. I'm 38 and cursed with only a single chest hair. I don't necassarily want to feel a woman in some aspects - couldn't do with the hairy legs.

You are never going to get the dame reaction from a group of people. In any daily life at any point you are a darling, a stoic, a prick and so on because subjective truth is that.

[TracyT]

As mentioned in my previous thread ("Full Time"), I go out all the time as "a guy in girl's clothes." Being 6'2" , broad-shouldered, and deep-voiced, I would need to invest a lot of time, effort, and expense to be able to pass as a woman, and I just don't have it. I also think that in a way, CDers who wear wigs and heavy makeup and frilly dresses to try to pass are just reinforcing gender dualism--no offense to anyone here, I think that's great if you want to and can do it. It's just not my thing. I think that men, like women, should be able to wear whatever they want and who cares if that makes me a guy in a skirt? It's all about freedom of expression, amIright?

[Beverley Sims]

I aspire to look like a woman, going half way just doesn't gel with me.

[Ally 2112]

Over the years i have had beards goatees and a mustache .About 5 years ago i decided to be fully cleaned shaved and have kept it this way .I am also on the do not like to look like a man in a dress side .In the end do what makes you happy life is to damn short and crazy anymore have fun !

[njcddresser]

A very interesting thread...

For me... I'm more than just a guy who likes wearing women's clothes. As time has gone on I've accepted that a big part of me is very feminine. So while most of the time I'm dressed as a man, the person on the inside is very feminine.

Most importantly I've accepted this and am very happy with who I am.

[Aly Cat]

I guess I shouldn't really be responding to this, but for me, the more I dressed, the more right it felt and the more wrong it felt not to be dressed as a woman. I eventually came out as trans and have been on hormones for 3 years. I lost my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, my home, and my job. Needless​ to say, I started over. But it was worth it for me. I legally changed my name, I now live with my boyfriend, and I made all new friends. I went through the fire, but came out as pure gold. I wouldn't change a thing. Everyone is different and identifies in different ways. That's what makes us special. Just be yourself.

[Petra-CD]

This is something I struggle with and talk about in therapy a lot. Choices to make that will not just effect me but my loved ones, my career and more and they are choices I just am not sure about yet. I've always felt like I wanted to be a girl, I look in the mirror and crave seeing a sexy female instead of my current reflection, but there's times I just want to fit in with the guys but I think those time might be better en femme but fear prevents me from doing it.