To dress or not to dress ?

[Megan.]

Hi there everyone I have a question to ask you all I am struggling with anxiety at the minute about everything I have not dressed in about 3 months because I kinda feel like I don't want to but part of me still does please give me some advice feel very lost at the minute thank you everyone

[Jaylyn]

I have to it seems adhere to my femme side and male sides when one gets stronger than the other. It seems I have triggers that set both sides off. I can see a hot lipstick commercial and I want to go dress. I can watch a wildlife out adventure show and I'm ready to go be tough outside. My wife tells me she wishes I make up my mind. ( she likes me no matter which side I lean to but has said the Jaylyn side is much more pleasant to be around) I think I have to please both sides one leaves traces of stained lips and eye shadow, the other side leaves traces of gun powder or dirt and grease on my hands. Sometimes just a touch of the side I lean towards covers my wants and sometimes its a full blown production to cover my needs of both sides.

[NancySue]

I found out early that, for me, suppression of the PF only led to frustration, anxiety, depression, etc. Even though I have a supportive wife, I've tried to moderate my dressing, but to no avail. I have a high pressure job and don't need any more negatives in my life. I tossed in the towel years ago. Best thing I ever did...no...the best thing I ever did is tell her all, from the beginning. Gladly, she's accepted this part of me. When she senses I'm up tight, she encourages me to "relax"....(our word to dress). She, too, likes the "nicer" part of me when dressed. Dressing has helped me be nicer too...a win-win.
Stop fighting it...it will win every time. Enjoy life.

[Stacy Darling]

Hi there Megan,

I'm not too proud to say that I have been through anxiety and depression, and more than once!
I would like to think that if you were able to take care of the anxiety, whether it be by talking to someone qualified in the anxiety department or even your Doctor, and taking care of that anxiety, things then may seem a little clearer, then just try and relax and do what comes naturally, dressed or not dressed.
Just don't put yourself under any more pressure!

Take care
Stacy

[Lana Mae]

Need to know why anxiety! Find ways to eliminate anxiety! Relax and dress! Do this alone, with the help of another, see a professional about it! Best wishes for feeling better! Hugs Lana Mae

[Heather J]

I can relate to your anxiety, And don't really feel like dressing up very much lately ether, but as most of us will atest to it's normal for the urge to come and go. Don't sweat it and just go with the flow :)

[SometimesKairi]

Why not dress up when you want to and not dress up when you don't?
I don't see the need to overcomplicate things

[Bobbi46]

I also fell into this trap in that circumstances stopped me dressing and it got me down but help came! I was told to underdress when I could and for me it worked but coming round to your thoughts you must as they say go with the flow. many have said that dressing will never leave our inner selves and it is something not fight against, and not to feel guilty in doing it. Do what makes you happy. Here you will find all the support you need from everybody, good luck and have faith.

[Pat]

Why not dress up when you want to and not dress up when you don't?

:yt: That's total wisdom. Do what makes you happy. Don't do what does not make you happy. There are no requirements you have to meet to stay in the Crossdresser Club because there is no Crossdresser Club. ;)

[mechamoose]

Why not dress up when you want to and not dress up when you don't?
I don't see the need to overcomplicate things

This.

You shouldn't bury it, sweetie. You need to find a way to express it that doesn't endanger you.

Do you know about the concept of underdressing? It can really help bridge presentation gaps if you are not ready for more.

}:>

- MM

[Bobbi46]

"I don't see the need to overcomplicate things". You have the nub of all of this right there complicating things only troubles and confuses the mind. Like has been said, keep it simple, underdress, the rest will follow. Take it slowly we are all here for you, many have said should I or should I not, let your yourself envelope things at your own speed, let life take its course.
Here is the place to be, to discuss and smooth out what bothers one. here there will always be a solution.
The main thing is don't struggle with anxiety, you don't have to be anxious this is not a world, a lifestyle where one needs to feel anxious, this is a world where we are all together in this each finding our own way as we feel the need.
"Very lost" ?, no need at all, nobody here feels lost or needs to feel lost because there is always a way through.

[kimdl93]

Well, as others have said, perhaps the next step should be addressing the root cause of your anxieties. It may be something altogether unrelated to your interest in cross dressing. I'd suggest that you consult a competent therapist.

[Ressie]

To dress or not to dress? Wasn't that the opening line in Hamlet?

I've heard that anxiety and depression often go together. As Kim suggested, maybe some therapy. Even if someone here is qualified to help, it can't be accomplished on this forum with so little information. There's a back story and it should probably only be shared with a professional or at least someone you know and trust.

[Judy-Somthing]

"You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill, you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how deep the rabbit hole goes."

When I was younger say about 40 years ago I would try so hard to stop and Purge all my stuff by cutting it up.
I don't know why but it didn't help.

Now I don't want to stop but my wife surely want me to stop.

[Jaymees22]

I would say dress and see how it feels again, if it makes you feel better do it if not give it rest for a little longer. Remember dressing is not mandatory!

[IleneD]

Megan,
You know the reality. "It" doesn't go away. It's part of you like a vital organ.
Wish as you may. Seek therapy to make it disappear. You can't make yourself go away, dear.
There will be ebbs and tides. Enthusiasm may wane, and those about you critical.
Prevail.
Months from now you'll be longing for a new dress and that inner woman

[Ally 2112]

You can fight it all you want it will just come back another day even worse

[Megan.]

thank you everyone for your kind messages my anxiety has been a big struggle hopefully i can sort it out it has a lot to do with dressing because i do not accept myself.

[Sandin Meknickers]

Hey Megan,

I've been in therapy a little while after living with anxiety and depression for many years. Ive actually started dressing again after years of living without myself. There have been plenty of distractions - enough that I've not been conscious of any draw to express my better side. Only thing that has rang true recently is it's madness to deny yourself. Live in moments and the let the best of yourself come out whether it's the masculine or feminine side.

[Ressie]

has a lot to do with dressing because i do not accept myself.

OK, now we're getting more information. I think most CDs have struggled with accepting this part of their selves. This reminds me of a book I read long ago entitled, "I'm not much baby, but I'm all I've got". That book has probably been out of print for decades.

The point is to accept yourself, the good and the bad.

[Fiona123]

I have had depression as well. My advice would be to dress whenever you can. Enjoy the experience. The is nothing wrong with crossdressing. Be safe. Maybe see a gender therapist.

[Lydianne]

. . And to take a cue from what Ressie wrote and to add numbers to what everyone else has written, once you achieve self acceptance with regards to dressing, as crazy as it might sound to you now, you might eventually classify it as a "good" . I have read that a lot do, but I know from the "gift or curse" thread that some don't.

I'm not an expert; so I can't tell you how medically diagnosed anxiety will affect the process for you, but at some point, "to dress or not to dress" will probably cease to become a question. It could become irresistible. Then one dresses, feels relief, feels guilty, and asks the question again.. At some point, there is a realisation of how integral it is as a part of self. The struggle after that would be how to incorporate regular dressing into one's life.