Thoughts

[mostlynatalie]

So I was having a conversation with a mate today about "cross dressing" we got onto the subject of what it would be like to be a "woman for a day" and have a complete make over, wear dresses, shoes etc (which I do all the time and love it to bits, but my friend who is a VERY MASCULINE Male said .. "any man who wears women clothes must be gay" (Please don't shoot me for this, just telling the story)

I asked him what made him say that.. His response is well men wear mens clothes, women wear women clothes.. So I asked him to define mens clothes. The response came back.. Pants(trousers), shirts shorts etc. To which my response was .. "well women wear all those things too, does that make them lesbian. ?" He said well no.. Then proceeded to say that they do make pants specifically for women but men would not wear them.. I then said to him, well technically though, by your very definition of mens clothes, then thats what they are and women should not wear them......."... including your wife" .. I said to him if women are going to go into shops and buy up all the mens clothes to wear, then I'm damn well gonna go into the shops and buy up all theirs... LOL

He then paused for a moment and said well ok I will give you that, but men dont wear make up. I said.. "you ever watched a movie.... " actors wear make up all the time. The conversation developed from there into that they wear it for their job, not for recreation purposes.. Lol i said well I wear makeup, nail polish, etc for fun and recreation .. does that make me gay.. Silence ..

So I think I won that one. I think he is a closet TV desperate to get out.. :)

Its so messed up that in this day and age we define clothing based on gender.. Who cares if a man wears a dress, makeup, panties etc. in the same way as who cares if a women wears pants, sneakers etc ..

Its for this very reason I have decided I am now going to >COME OUT > and let my friends know I am a CD.. If they dont like it, dont let the door hit you on the way out :-)

LOL

[SaraCanonmill]

That's the exact response I got from a female friend of mine. I got into a discussion once and it somehow lead to me asking what she thought of men who wore women's clothes and the response was, "I'd think they're gay." I wanted to out myself and be like well I'm not but I didn't want to argue about it so I let the ignorance remain lol. I think a lot of it is who you're around too though as her opinion used to be far more receptive until she moved in with her boyfriend.

[SometimesKairi]

Everyone is different. Luckily my group of friends (that I have told so far) seem very accepting and non plussed about the whole thing.
My male friends will just take the piss out of me but they do that anyway lol

[IleneD]

Natalie, darling.

I believe you just did..... come out. And so gently too.
Bravo.

[sometimes_miss]

Once more, women who wear men's clothes aren't trying to appear to be male. OTOH, when we wear women's clothes, we usually make every attempt to appear to be female: Make up, jewelry, hair style, mannerisms, perfume, and even voice. And yet, despite all that effort, it usually still doesn't work, though.

[mostlynatalie]

I agree.. But if I wore a dress even with male underpants etc. No Jewelry, make up or anything, just a guy in a dress, I would still be branded as gay. But yes you are right I guess it could be seen as differently if you are trying to be something else.

But then again, I try not be an asshole all the time but I still somehow manage to be one :)

[Stacy Darling]

Hi Natalie,

Sounds like your mind is set to come out, so just let the door hit them!
You'll be getting the gay thing a lot if you cross-dress. I get it all the time, but I do have polished nails and at least some lippy on 24/7 or maybe it's the waxed legs. I'm just about over it! My new line is "I Play Dress-up, a Lot"

"So, do you want to get all prettied up because you want some guy to pick you up!" (sorry, just needed quote my wife)

I've come out to a lot of people in the past months but still have two good mates I just can't tell, the possibility of losing these two would really do my head in! Something to think about carefully while your coming out.

Stacy

[Sara Jessica]

Don't read too much into your friend's responses. He is just being the gender binary dude that he is and wouldn't fathom doing anything outside of that zone...something that is probably true of most dudes out there. Sure, equating outlier gender expression as gay is patently false but it happens to be how most of the world views us for better or worse.

[docrobbysherry]

Dressers r gay! The ideas common as beach sand! When I began dressing out of the blue at age 50 I thot I had turned gay! :eek:

To uninformed folks, it's the obvious first thot that comes into their minds!:brolleyes:

[Steph65]

It comesdown to this. people are ignorant to the facts they do not understand. Period. If the person has been raised a good Samaritan who doesn't think beyond their nose and have not been exposed to a different life style and always been told this is right that is wrong then they will not understand and be very ignorant to the facts.

[ellbee]

Once more, women who wear men's clothes aren't trying to appear to be male. OTOH, when we wear women's clothes, we usually make every attempt to appear to be female...

Speak for yourself. :tongueout

And if you stay at this forum for any length of time, you'll find plenty of us here who wear stuff while in guy-mode. Do you honestly want to read yet another "Wearing women's jeans in public" thread??




"So, do you want to get all prettied up because you want some guy to pick you up!" (sorry, just needed quote my wife)

Next time you see her getting all dolled-up, be sure to ask her the same. :heehee:




Anyway, regarding the "gay thing," most people who have never been to a gay bar would be *shocked* by its patrons.

Not because they're all so flamboyant & pretty & lewd -- but because many of them are so normal & ordinary-looking, and dare I say, even manly. :confused3:

[Lana Mae]

Came out to daughter and son, who are accepting and also to my sister in law who is accepting! Out by word or picture! Daughter does not want to see daddy in a dress! She does however see my painted toe nails and finger nails at times! She has seen me in my night shirt(roses or heels and purses on them ) and said nothing! ( Forgot to take my medicine and was already dressed for bed!) Will be out with painted fingernails for next 3 days! At the end of the month, will be painted for 6 days! I will be out to whoever sees them! Sorry, my attitude is showing! Tough! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Teresa]

Natalie,
It's funny but it appears to be the guys that think we must be gay, none of my GG friends ever consider it and yet some very good male friends thought that we must be. One has known me for so long and knows I'm not the another is bi-sexual and naturally assumed we are mostly bi-sexual as we float from male to female in our presentation .

If we dress as women they assume we wish to attract a man , they are surprised very few of us are gay.

I will also add that when I stayed over for the first time with a CDer friend my son did ask if there was something I'm not telling them, the simple answer was not I just want to have a drink at the BBQ and may not be able to drive home, I didn't get drunk but was over the drink drive limit .

[Ally 2112]

It seems we still have ways to go

[Stephanie47]

Lexi at #5 above summed it all up. My wife summed it up nicely when we had the "talk." She queried "Why would a guy wear a bra when he has nothing to pack into it?" If you want to wear a pair of women's jeans with all sorts or embroidery and a women's top and a women's panty, why is it necessary to wear a woman's bra in size DD with all the padding? If it is just the clothes why the deception?

When my wife and I had the "talk" forty plus years ago I told her the truth. I did not know why I like to wear women's clothing on occasion. I can relate what the effect the clothing has, but, why the clothing and not some other outlet to relieve stress. Basically, I chuckle whenever I hear the explanation that wearing women's clothing is a "hobby." I consider that to be nothing more than self deception.

[Rachelakld]

men wore make up before women
men wore high heels before women
men wore pants before women
men wore dungerees before women

but now all these things are also "womens stuff", actually probably add "men" to the list as we are also part of "their stuff"