Can I crossdress male-to-female in a smaller metro area in the US?

[ChelseaEllie]

OK, so I'm not out to anybody yet, I want to really explore who I am. I live in a less major metropolitan area, I don't really want to face being abused or rejected by my community. I think there is a much bigger deal with crossdressing than being simply transgender.

I don't think moving to a different place will happen anytime soon. I'm actually on social security, I'm not employed yet. Is it the only option I have if I want to explore myself?

[Tracii G]

25 and on social security?
What has that got to do with your question?

It makes no difference where you live if you want to CD then do it.
You need to not make assumptions about CDing or being transgender and how it relates to going out in public.
I have been to major cities dressed enfemme as well as small mountain towns in Eastern Kentucky.
People pretty much treat me the same.
To be honest I was treated much better in the small mountain towns.

You may read threads where people say I live in a rural town I can't go out in public crossdressed but usually its a fear they have in their head that they can't shake. They could but they are too scared.

[Lana Mae]

I am in a "smaller metro area"! I just returned from getting my mani/pedi with pretty pink polish! I do not sweat it! I just do it! The ladies there treat me well and I think are somewhat amused by me! I do not go out dressed here but to a larger area with a mall soon! Hugs Lana Mae

[ChelseaEllie]

Also, I wonder if my mom and dad will take it well if I told them. I still live with them (this explains my situation), I discussed with my mom twice, back when I thought I might be actually transgender. I don't know how I can bring it up again with a different spin, because she already sort of denied that I was transgender twice, and I don't think I'm transgender at this point. But if I were to go into crossdressing slowly and indoors only at first, that would be a compromise in the meantime.

I'm especially concerned about my dad, while my mom said he didn't have a really negative reaction when I "came out" as being supposedly transgender, I "came out" to my dad as wanting to wear female clothes two years ago and kind of interrogated me, asked me if I was a homosexual. I think it's different than otherwise being transgender.

[SaraCanonmill]

Idk about there but around here most people who are ignorant enough to be shitty towards transgender people kind of just lump crossdressers and gay people in with it. I really doubt anyone is going to stop and devise which one you are from the outside looking in, they'll just assume one thing or another. As to whether or not you are comfortable with it kind of comes down to your own personal thoughts and if you think you're not ready then I'd obviously advise against it until you are or trying to find a more accepting place. (My SO just assumes that we'll probably eventually go to a gay bar or something together if I ever decide to go out for a night for my first time as they'll likely be the least judging.)

[Tracii G]

Sara when you and your SO go out just go wherever you want it doesn't have to be a gay bar.
Lost of people assume its a safe place to go but remember its a bar and people drink so attitudes change as the night goes on.
Go to a movie or the mall or play miniature golf even. Anything thing that sounds like fun is fine.

The second time I went out enfemme with a GF we played lazer tag with 40 other people.
Did they know I was male? Yeah I'm sure they did but it was no big deal we had a blast.
I came in second and the guy that won was a Marine.
He said wow you are damn good what branch were you in?
I was a guy that was dressed like a female but it didn't matter.

[Aunt Kelly]

Kim's story made me think about this a bit. Now, knowing a little bit about that part of the country, it's possible that nobody there realized that she was "different", but I'd say it's unlikely. Feel free to tell me I'm wrong, Kim, but I bet you were also polite and acted as if all was normal. When confronted with that, I firmly believe that most people will simply "play along" rather than be the person who has suddenly made things awkward. I'm not saying that there aren't plenty of assholes out there that would do exactly that, but most people aren't like that. A smirk, or a startled look when they finally tumble, is about as negative a reaction as I've ever had when out en femme. Much of the time, people will go out of there way to be pleasant to me. I know it's a tall order Chelsea, but once you realize that there are no "gender police", things get a whole lot easier. Good luck to you.

Hugs,


Kelly

[JamieQ]

I don't think a large or small area has much to do with anything. I have been out in large metro areas like Lexington and Louisville Ky to the one horse rural KY towns that consisted of a truck stop and a Dollar store. I've read many posts of asking for advise where to move in order to CD. I say right where you are is probably as good a place as any. If relocating I think weather (hot climates) is something I would stay away from IMO...

[docrobbysherry]

I think at this time it's relevant to mention we have 35,000 members here at cd.com. And, the amount that go out dressed often is a drop in the bucket!

Most of us r closet dressers. And, many of us live in parts of the country and the world where u could be physically harmed if u walked around dressed!

So, I consider myself lucky to simply be made fun of occasionally when I'm out. And, when someone thinks or says I must be gay/queer? Even tho I'm not, it bothers me zero %!:heehee: