Transitioning?

[jennifer0918]

Last weekend I had such a good time,I felt like a woman,and everything came out perfect. When I was 8 or 9 years old I started wearing high heels,and my crossdressing took off from there.Then I wanted to have the appearance of breast,so I started sticking socks inside my shirt using duct tape to make them stick,the mind of a child I must have been 11 y/o.Later came wearing womans clothing, but without a wig I had short hair.Then high school,always tought that football, sports,and girls will cure me from CDing I did stop for a while,but it came back,but never fully dressed or even made up completely, only lipstick.To make a long story short,as my life goes on and I dress I feel I bring it up a level.Now I only think if I go out I have to be completely done,legs waxed no facial hair and a professional makeover.I'm wondering,if my next step will be that I will want to transition? How will I know if im transgender? Goodnight ladies and gentlemen
Love&hugs

[SometimesKairi]

As I understand it there are several levels of dressing.

Gender fluid, no sexual identity. Dress how you want using a mix.
Crossdresser, identify as one sex, occasionally dress in opposite sex clothes.
Transvestite. Identify as one sex, always dress in opposite sex clothes.
Transgender, do not identify with birth sex, dress as opposite sex as to birth.

Maybe there is more.

So to me, it all cones down to.
What do YOU want?

[Jane G]

We are all different. All a can say is I was sure I was a woman in a mans body for many years. I took hormones for a time, in my twenties. But life moved on. I may still be a woman in a mans body, but I think I'm over the transitioning urge... These days I have more to lose than gain. In the end it's about that. Get on with life and be sure to enjoy it. What happens along the way, well that's just stuff.

[XemmaX]

I guess you will really know when you want to do that.

[Karen Wilder]

Jennifer,

you may just be experiencing a "pink fog", by pink fog I mean as you experiment with more and more of the feminine world, make up, wig, shaping garments, etc. and your inner girl starts to appear and blossom, you want to try the complete package, waxed head to toe, passable makeup, pierced ears and etc. Your dressing and experimenting with the works and to the nines does not necessarily lead to wanting to transition for everyone.

Enjoy your journey and don't worry where you are on the TG spectrum, eventually you will know without a doubt where exactly you are and what you are comfortable with.

:hugs:

Karen

[Lana Mae]

Jennifer, you are on a journey! Enjoy the journey! Your destination will be apparent when it is time! Stop now and then and smell the roses! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[Pat]

How will I know if im transgender? Goodnight ladies and gentlemen

Good news! You're transgender. What you seem to be wondering is if you're transsexual or not. (People sometimes complain about labels, but this is why they're important.) A transgender person is any person whose sex and gender don't align. Simple. No gray areas. If you were cisgender (the opposite of transgender) your sex and gender would align and you would receive no joy from crossdressing (which is what you did.) Now that you're under the transgender umbrella, there are lots of variations -- not just transsexuals whose perception of gender is binary -- whether full-on male or full-on female -- whose sex is then exactly opposite their gender. There are non-binary identities -- people whose gender is somewhere between male and female. You may spend a lot of time examining different identities, finding ones that almost match and rejecting ones that don't before you find one that exactly resonates with you and then you start looking for others like you to learn the answers that worked for them and may or may not work for you.

It sounds complex and fraught but it's really just you living. It would be nice if we could just know the answer, but it's kinda like figuring out what profession you're suited to -- you probably try on quite a few before you find the one that fits you. The big issue is to live an ethical, authentic life. If you achieve certainty that you are transgender you need to be honest about it with people around you -- read through this forum for examples of the heartache you can cause for yourself and others if you don't.

:2c:

[SometimesKairi]

Hiya, so can I add, I LOVE how I looked dressed but I identify as a straight male.
Am I still on the transgender spectrum?
If I am, I am.
Just trying to get a term for me :)

[Aunt Kelly]

Welcome to the club, Jennie. There are a lot of us who feel the way you do. I know that I do. Being in girl mode provides a kind of, well... peace is the best word I can come up with, that nothing else can. At the same time though, I'm in almost never in any real distress when I am in boy mode. Almost... So yeah, the wind blows me back and forth along the TG spectrum, and that's OK. I intend to pursue counseling soon, to try to sort it out a bit better, but my hunch is that I will probably have my gender fluidity confirmed. Even if that's the "diagnosis" my hope is that the counseling will also provide me with some perspective and coping skills that I currently lack.
Lastly, Pat's advice is sage. "The big issue is to live an ethical, authentic life." Do that, and you will avoid so much of the heartache and even tragedy that so many here have shared.

Big hugs,


Kelly Marie

[kimdl93]

Hiya, so can I add, I LOVE how I looked dressed but I identify as a straight male.
Am I still on the transgender spectrum?
If I am, I am.
Just trying to get a term for me :)

yup...sexual preference is something separate. Welcome under the umbrella :)

[Pattie]

When you feel that you just got hit by a freight train then it will be your total decision, mine was from the time I was dressed like my twin sister and that was when I was 6 years old Been this way ever since.
Pattie

[sometimes_miss]

How will I know if im transgender?
Asked many times, answered many times. If you want your answers quickly, search through the threads for a few hours. Or you can wait months for everyone to chime in again.
Briefly. You're going to have to examine your life, to decide what went on earlier in your life that may have contributed to your desire to crossdress, as it apparently wasn't there when you were, oh, 5. So, something happened. As you haven't figured it out by now, perhaps seeing a good gender therapist might help, but I caution you, it could take years of introspection on your own as well as the therapists help to figure it out. Took me decades doing it on my own.
The crossdressing is just a symptom of something else that's going on deeper in your mind, much like shivering is a symptom of your body being cold and trying to warm up. Perhaps see if you identify with how women behave and interact. Do you like to talk about nothing in particular for hours on end? Do you enjoy talking about your problems over and over even if you know that there's no solution? Do you speak using indirect language? Some of these things can be learned by reading some of the books by Alan and Barbara Pease; start with https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Have-Women-Always-Shoes/dp/0767916107/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1491772597&sr=8-3&keywords=barbara+pease , it's on amazon for a penny plus shipping used. They've written several books like this, with references in the back of the book for other books where you can get more information about the differences between the sexes, and you can see where you fit in.

The desperate desire to be a female, isn't the be all and end all of whether you actually are one mentally.

[Pat]

Hiya, so can I add, I LOVE how I looked dressed but I identify as a straight male.
Am I still on the transgender spectrum?

As Kim said, sexual orientation doesn't come into it. You can be straight, gay, pansexual, asexual or something else but that has nothing to do with gender. The very simple test is does it make you happy when you crossdress? If yes, you are not cisgender; if you are not cisgender you are transgender. There is no one kind of transgender person, so in the event you want to find out what kind you are, you have to do some navel-gazing. If you don't want to go any deeper than enjoying it, that's OK too. You are the boss of you.

[jennifer0918]

Thank you for all the wonderful and informative comments.I read every one of one them,and I will see where I go from here.I find myself asking, I'm I ethical and authentic? Well I'm not sure, right now at this time in my life,I have to be a father,a godfather, a son,a brother,and a husband. So I am not authentic?the gender pronouns of my everyday existence do not coincide with my inner being.Ethical?Mm well my SO does not know I dress,so I'm not too ethical.I tought getting married I would stop dressing,but it's been more then two decades and all I want is to release my feminine side even more.More and more now I think of telling my SO,but it's only a feeling of wanting to tell her,when I factor in the tought, the idea,I meditate on the idea a little more I feel that I will only confuse her more and she will not want to accept my answers.Will I stop dressing for her?answer NO,Am I gay NO,am I a "try"(her word for transexual)? She will not understand. I could try to explain what I have learned about myself during this CD journey, but she is so stubborn she will not get it and will not keep an open mind.I will tell her that I will not force her to accept my femme side,but if this is something she can't live with to please let me live my life.I don't control my smiles and cries.