Forum part of your life

[Traci H]

Being on this forum has caused some issues or almost issues for me. Not really in a negative way, but just by it being part of my life.

Mostly in the way that I read the stories, maybe humorous or with a political slant and suddenly I am about to mention such in a conversation with my wife or coworkers. I have caught myself on several occasions just about ready to say something when the realization hit.....oh that might be awkward. An example of such was the post with a link to the article in the U.K. where the guy was refused service for eyebrow threading. I was about to bring up this situation in a conversation when I realized my buddies would wonder why I even knew about eyebrow threading.

Anyone else find these discussions slipping into their conversations?

Traci

[Francene Lola Dupree]

I often find myself poised to interject a point into a conversation and catch myself because it would seem odd that I have an opinion about a particularly feminine subject.

[DIANEF]

Ive often had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying something 'inappropriate', but I did that long before I joined the forum.

[~Joanne~]

I've had a few times were i had to stop myself from entering conversations at work unless it's about pantyhose then I am good to go lol most of the time any conversations is with my So and she likes to look at the pictures section with me sometimes if she is passing by as i am in that section.

[SometimesKairi]

Being on this forum has caused some issues or almost issues for me. Not really in a negative way, but just by it being part of my life.

Mostly in the way that I read the stories, maybe humorous or with a political slant and suddenly I am about to mention such in a conversation with my wife or coworkers. I have caught myself on several occasions just about ready to say something when the realization hit.....oh that might be awkward. An example of such was the post with a link to the article in the U.K. where the guy was refused service for eyebrow threading. I was about to bring up this situation in a conversation when I realized my buddies would wonder why I even knew about eyebrow threading.

Anyone else find these discussions slipping into their conversations?

Traci

Haha see I HAVE brought up about the eyebrow threading but that's because people see me as a bit of a joker anyway.
But this forum is such a huge deal to me already yeah

[Lisa Roberts]

Oh yes! Just yesterday I started to tell a coworker about a topic I read on the Forum.... oops, that would have been awkward. I'm still in the closet at work. ☹️

[Alice_2014_B]

I personally have not encountered such, but I can easily see how one could (perhaps myself).
:)

[Lana Mae]

I have bit my tongue a few times! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

[2B Natasha]

Nope. That is not a problem I face. I am more then happy to interject into a conversation about any topic I have a thought on. Some people **** their head to side and wonder why I have an opinion. If they are brace enough to ask. I'll tell them. With all that said. I am generally thought of as a unsociable person until you get to know me. Then they find out I am very social. I just don't make a spectical of myself in either form of dress.

[Stephanie47]

I make it a point to interject in any and all conversations that may concern beating up on someone due to his or her sexuality or sexual identity. How do I know? I read and watch programs that keep me informed. There's an old saying my wife always chirps. Basically, it says; "I said nothing when the Nazis came for the Jews. I said nothing when the Nazis came for the gypsies. And so on and so on. And, when the Nazis came for me there was nobody left to speak up for me!" You may want to stay away from eyebrow threading, but, don't stay away from the basic issues.

[Nikki A.]

I get into many conversations and I'm not afraid to chip in where I can. I by asking questions and then going it things that I may have read or heard about, you can really get your point across without really outing yourself.

[Teresa]

Traci,
I find thoughts from the forum do percolate into my life, it's so easy to let it slip what someone thought or said . The plus side of this is I have far more answers for people that might give me a hard time, the fact is they don't because I'm more confident about who I am with my CDing , somehow that comes over to people.

Don't rule it out of your conversation because we all benefit from defending the TG community, openness and acceptance is what most of us hope for and we can only achieve that by outing ourselves in some way to the general public.

[kimdl93]

Yeah, it happens. But the larger influence in my life ....on the positive side....has been to be able to interact with people sharing common experiences, perspectives and questions. And its equally, or perhaps more valuable to test one's presumptions against the real life experience of others.

On the negative side, the forum can become a very selective, cheerleading section that over time can color one's perceptions and self assessments. There is a potential for group think and a desire to conform to a group - to fit in - that may propel some of us in directions we might not otherwise go.

And on the negative side, dare I say this..., communion with like minded individuals can reinforce the compulsive/addictive behaviors and provide a basis for rationalizing what otherwise might be recognized as selfish or self destructive behavior.

[Teresa]

Kim,
You have to learn how to balance some of those problems with the opening up of your mind , seeing other member's points of view , realising you're not the only one and so coming to terms with it.
Also on the plus side it gave me the opening to meet another member , meet up and now go to her social group , I would be firmly stuck in the closet going round in painful circles if that hadn't happened .

[Tina_gm]

Ive caught myself at work while talking to women being quite feminine. Complimenting a hair cut, or nails or whatever in a way most guys either wouldn't notice or just would react in a more typical masculine way where as I have done so more as one woman to another.... oops. Yeah, there have been some times where I have hit the brakes. Not so much around guys but girls.

One day not too long ago my wife was looking for a few particular items in a cosmetics department, and I went it to help her. It was obvious that I knew my way around so to speak and familiar with what was in there. There were a couple of women who I think gave me some quizzical looks perhaps. I got no glaring stares or anything. As I get older and more accepting of myself I am slowly loosing the concern over showing this side of myself. Obviously not to the degree some, many are on here, but I am starting to not care, as much.

[alwayshave]

I try to always think before I speak, so I haven't had a problem of outwardly outing myself. That being said I have defended people in conversations for their gender, sexual orientations, etc.... To this forum, I discuss subjects posted here all the time with my SO.

[GretchenM]

This forum has become an important part of my life. I love seeing all the variety in the way we each approach this characteristic. I get so many ideas and see so many angles to view our behavior from it is quite enriching. And it gives me some ammo to use when people get judgemental about trans people. My wife knows I am on here, but she doesn't know what the name of the forum is so she can't take a look see. If she asks I will tell her, but I don't think she really wants to see. That said, I am very careful about who I tell that I am on here or what I learn from here. My wife and one of my daughters (the mental health therapist) know. My wife is tolerant of this aspect of who her husband is, but not really accepting or necessarily approving. Her greatest fear is for others, especially her friends who are also my friends, find out. I'm respectful and careful, but I also let her know that if someone that we know finds out I can help them to understand. I can't live my life always pleasing the wishes of others - life is a give and take affair. Thank goodness we aren't all the same.

[Stacy Darling]

My mouth will often throw out something which will raise a few eyebrows, but most which know me will laugh about it?

I actually had to back pedal the other day. Where I live the community refers to itself as being "LGBTIQA+" (in literature), so when I said LGBT in a conversation, I was given one of those WHaaaaat! looks by one of the guys, luckily I responded with Scatterbrain Stacy saying "What did I just thoughtlessly blurt out?" and we were all cool.

So I've picked up some lingo from this forum. Am yet to pick up on some of the accents though!

So Stacy today!

[Tama]

My old stand-by response to anything people are discussing to do with our world is this-
Either I had a close friend years ago who was involved in this...or I just happened to know the answer to that one! and make it amusing helps.
It is kinda funny though that so many terms, acronyms and exact explanations to the new descriptions of what or who we are are all learned right here for me.
I would never know half of what I am now aware of if it were not for all of you! many Thanks btw

[CONSUELO]

Yes indeed it is hard to compartmentalize our lives. I often wonder how "spies" manage a double life.

[Fiona123]

I'm pretty closeted, so there is little chance of the feminine me (Fiona) slipping out. However, i do strive to be empathetic as opposed to being macho etc.

[DanielleDubois]

I can usually bite my tongue about feminine topics I shouldn't know so much about but have almost slipped up a couple of times telling friends and family what kind of bargains can be found online. Shouldn't really be a problem but most of the time the bargains are wigs, dresses, and lingerie :o

[Caroline Varg]

I have on several occasions ended up in conversations with female employees over lunch discussing makeup and female articles of clothing, like pantyhose etc. I actually find it amusing to see reactions to my knowledge when I make comments. Being the CEO of the company, no one dares to challenge me in depth about my knowledge. I might also get a comment like "Lucky you, not having to bother about pantyhose", and I answer jokingly "What do you know about what I wear under my clothes?". Again, no one dares to penetrate my habits beneath that ;-)

[abby054]

"Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks!" That has not changed in the two thousand years since it was first said. I too have caught myself from time to time before saying something that would have others wondering, "How does he know that? Only a woman would understand in that way."