Spotting Cross Dresser.

[Sandin Meknickers]

So I was in tesco with my gf the other day when she says "Look, there's one of your lot". Nevermind her blatant rudeness, I'm used to that lol.

So I turn to look and see basically a chick of average looks and mannerisms. I didn't have too long to observe as she wondered off into the clothing section and we were paying at the till. I'm still not sure and it's not the first time I've been ledt wondering haha. So I'm just wondering if anyone else feels they have a terrible radar and if it might be due to my dissociation with gender norms that I seem hopelessly blind?

[bridget thronton]

May be you just aren't looking for someone to out

[Sandin Meknickers]

Yeah probably. Self obsessed and overly involved with my own activity.

[SometimesKairi]

Haha classy lass your GF :D

Thing is, unless we are actively looking out for things we tend to ignore nearly all aspects of other people unless they stand out somehow.

[Sandin Meknickers]

She's a bit of a geezer-bird lol.

[SometimesKairi]

Since you've mentioned this I have been looking out model for potential crossdressers'
How curious that I believe I have seen two today.
Both just out shopping for food like any other normal person.

Maybe they were GG but maybe not

[Sandin Meknickers]

You mean you've been on the perv?

[SometimesKairi]

Haha you see a nice set of legs then you'll be Ob the perv too girl :p

[Sandin Meknickers]

I thought your vocation was racks.

[Stacy Darling]

Hate to interrupt!?

I was describing to a friend the other day the fact that I don't look at men and don't look at women, but will notice the people in between!

Maybe I just see the people which are more like me, Special!

Now carry on!
Stacy Special!

[Sandin Meknickers]

No no, Wade in Chick.

I usually only notice people being stupid.

- - - Updated - - -

Do you think you are subconsciously or consciously looking for peers to compete with?

[DIANEF]

I see crossdressers fairly often in my city center, I'm not specifically looking for them but as I observe women to see what they wear, their mannerisms ect I probably notice more than the average guy does.

[SometimesKairi]

DianeF, yeah I have started looking at outfits on girls too. It's a form of flattery I believe.

Stacy, you jump in anytime girl! As we say, we are all different in a hundred different ways and its all good :)

[CONSUELO]

"one of your lot" What kind of comment is that. What "lot" does she belong to.

[SometimesKairi]

Dunno if you are in the UK but that'd be regular banter between two people here and no offence would be taken :)

[kimdl93]

I have noticed others in public but I don't feel I have any sort of radar. I'm more likely to notice someone who has made what I might consider unfortunate choices in attire or makeup

[Teresa]

Sandin,
Maybe you and your girlfriend need to find a social group, you don't even have to question you've seen one, the first time out for me was an anniversary dance and there were about 40-50 of, " MY LOT !" there and it was great to be one of them .

As for sightings out in public I do have a radar for finding other members of the TG community . Once you've been out and done it and met the public it's not such a big deal , some of us have to work through these stepping stones .

[ginapoodle]

Oh, I have the radar, and it works well.

Interestingly, I sometimes confuse those with "gaydar"-- been approached several times, and they back away when they see my wedding ring and I politely decline. However, I have many gay friends and lesbian friends, some very close friends.

[Sandin Meknickers]

She meant your lot as "boy that wears womens clothes". Not really bad. I'm sure i've called her that before. People really mustn't take offence at that lol. It's the same principle as assuming a position under this mythical transgender umbrella i've been hearing about alot on here.

As for joining a social group, why? I'm not really interested in learning how to spot another human being. She doesn't need to meet CDs to know that they are humans and prone to flount tradition and behave like a bell end if they want to. Also, herding around in a particular social circle reinforces this your lot attitude surely?

[Teresa]

Sandin,
Not really, as I mentioned in another reply to you, living in a DADT situation isn't ideal, dressing in the closet is becoming pointless, it just doesn't justify the outfits and makeup , and the body shaving. I have AGP, I need to be out and be seen and accepted as a woman , our group openly invites partners, we meet at a hotel so we meet other members of the public, some members have fully transitioned . Some of the conversations really help them and any of us who are on the edge of transition. OK we have theme nights and have some fun in dressing slightly OTT. We are a social group and not a help one, even so just being able to freely come out dressed and talk to others provides help.
The herding around as you put it is making it clear to the general public we exist and aren't afraid to show it , it also encourages other CDers to realise there is more to hiding in the closet, where they may be ridden with shame and guilt . You only have to read a few threads here to realise how many are desperate to escape the closet and release themselves from their DADT situation , social groups are an excellent and usually safe answer for those needs.

Personally I believe my wife now has more respect for me now, she didn't think I would have the courage to go out dressed, she underestimated my deep need, she now accepts I have to shop and take care of that side of it. The message is getting through that I am part female with feminine needs, none of this would have happened if I didn't go out the door. I've told her I no longer have concerns who knows because it's not going to change me, she is still concerned about those issues but she doesn't have to worry about my children knowing or their marriage partners.

I forgot to mention I wasn't offended by the term , " LOT ", it's recognised in the UK as a harmless term for a group of people doing their thing. I attend a painting group, sometimes my wife will ask how were your painting lot ?

[Sandin Meknickers]

There are all the obvious benefits of support and courage that you mention Teresa. I could hardly deny that really. I came here myself looking for tips on coming out. Mostly because I love my partner. If she isn't going to love me back though, we'll move on. I held on to a relationship without love to protect my daughter once and it's just harmful for all concerned. But after the many mistakes we make, I thought most of us find people that are right for us. I didn't realise just how prevalent repression is until coming here. Frightening really and I have to ask, with people living so convincingly false lives, is that the advice I really need? Is this will for deception exclusively reserved to the gender bit?

As you can see I have trust issues lol.

[Teresa]

Sandin,
I call it a double life , it's not false, I'm still a father to my kids and they still need me, I'm also a grandfather and my wife needs my support in helping out with them , there's nothing false about the feelings I have for them .

It may be deception but I'm not withholding anything it's just my wife doesn't want to know about it, OK maybe the deception is self inflicted by her, I can do nothing about that . She'll talk when she wants to I just work round her, my kids know this situation, and my daughter has had heated discussions with her about her lack of acceptance. I've asked to back off so she's not caught in the middle .

[Stacy Darling]

Was there a specific one answer FN question or is this Days of our Lives!

part 2?

[Stacy Darling]

We're cool!