encounters today, thoughts, observations...

[ginapoodle]

All,

Early this morning, taking trash out, I encountered our next door neighbors. These are mom and her two little girls that we know very well. Laughs and hugs and banter with the girls, and I commented on their pretty dresses and painted toe nails and new shoes. I told them I also love to get my nails done. The oldest responded, "boys don't paint their nails!!!" and we had a laugh.

The gender classification and registration occurs rapidly. Very first attribute people note when meeting another human is gender.

Fact is one of my most precious memories of Gina is getting my nails professionally done in Portland (both toes and fingers) before going out enfemme. Went to salon with a close friend, she picked the colors, and the tech did a magnificent job. Broke my heart to take the polish off and trim my fingernails that I had grown for a couple weeks. I have beautiful, slender hands, so the effect works very well, I have very pretty hands.

Then, my eldest daughter posted on FB an excellent article about a local family helping their child transition M to F at age 4, despite cultural and religious opposition.
My comment: takes courage. Impressive to see cultural changes, fortunate young girl to be sure. I had an "if only" thought...but in the fifties, nobody understood.

Here is a link to the article:
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/parenting/a43702/transgender-child-kimberly-shappley/

Attended a church Tenebrae service, it was beautiful and deep and meaningful for me. We take a metaphorical/metaphysical approach. Female pastor, and friend and teacher of mine led much of the service. She knows about Gina, I shared with her my gender issues, and she responded very positively. Her support brought me to tears a few weeks ago, a rare event. I suspect our dialog will slowly evolve. Also another friend was there, we took classes together. She pinned me again, wanting to have coffee and just talk. She is married with a son, and I know her intent is friendship and spiritual interaction, discussion and reflection. And I thought, I wonder if I should open up to her? Considering that move as I have a lot of respect for her. Not sure though.

Self observation is: my female self is always present, and can be expressed in many ways. Actual dressing is always fun, yet I have a deeper integration that in many ways is more meaningful. And, I sometimes wonder if I should reveal to both my daughters, however I think they would struggle keeping confidentiality unlike my Pastor.

Thanks for providing a venue for sharing. This place helps me process who I am, and where I am, and where I have been, and where I am going.

Time to walk the poodles, then fix a healthy salad for dinner. Maybe a motorcycle ride Saturday? My sinus infection seems to be dying, and weather is supposed to be good. A ride would help morale, I have been fighting the black dog a bit the past month or so.

[ronda]

I enjoyed your story have fun on your ride I to plan on going out for a ride Sat therapy for my soul and well being enjoy your ride

[ginapoodle]

Ronda,

Ride safe and well. I ride in a zone of focus, and safety. And I love the sensations, and stress relief.

hugs back,
ginapoodle

[BettyMorgan]

"I told them I also love to get my nails done. The oldest responded, "boys don't paint their nails!!!" and we had a laugh.

The gender classification and registration occurs rapidly."

It certainly does occur rapidly and I'm sure you took the opportunity to correct the little girl.
Did you let her know that some boys like getting their nails done and some girls will never want to have a manicure?

In order to break these gender stereotypes we have to take advantage of these teachable moments. And doing this won't out us as crossdressers, if that's the concern.

If we, in this community want change and acceptance, it's going to be one mind at a time. It's not going to be a big viral, Oprah Winfrey style campaign that happens overnight. So take advantage of these opportunities to stand up for crossdressers, trans people and non-conforming gender people. The change will come from opening up to your pastor one day, and a friend the next. And eventually that circle will increase to where revealing who we are is not such a big deal anymore. Good luck.

[Caroline Varg]

I totally agree with Betty's urge to change one mind at a time, and while doing that, not be afraid to out ourselves. An example from work (I'm the CEO) occurred last fall, when I asked my assistant (who does not yet know about my CDing) to order a new protective case for my company iPad. The obvious choice is red, as it is our company colour. The case arrived from the supplier and it turned out to be pink, not red. My assistant immediately said that we had to return it, as a male tcould not use that colour. I quickly took the moment to tell her that I find it a very nice colour, and I now use my pink case with pride in meetings. Maybe not a big thing, but an example.

I have not yet told my kids about my CDing, but I know it will come one day. In fact, the younger the children are, the less they have made up their minds about what is "normal". This summer, my wife and I will take our small kids to the Pride festival area to make sure that they are exposed to all sexual orientations and practices (not the adult ones, though). Our goal is to foster them to be open minded and not judge people based on their appearances or orientations. I might actually chose that occasion to inform them about my CDing, just so they can see that I am not alone.

Let us change one mind at a time, and let us make the next generation more open minded that ours was when we were kids.

Hugs

[Aunt Kelly]

With this gorgeous weather we've been having, you'd better get your butt on that scooter, girl. There is little that can feed the soul like a ride on a swoopy country road on a day like today. Get the gear on and get out the door, already!

Hugs,


Kelly Marie