Desire to show

[Tamsin Secret]

Hey all hope you are good?

You may or may not know (or care lol!) that I'm a closeted married CD.

Like many of you on here i 'found' this haven and am so glad i did as it has perhaps even saved me from doing something stupid, rash decisions etc, however one thing still lingers and perhaps even grows in feeling...

I have an urge to share pictures of myself, tasteful i might add, of me dressed.

I understand the potential devastation this would cause should they get noticed by anyone connected to me so cannot reason with myself as to why these desires exist.

I'm of intellegent enough mind (most of the time) and this is a lot to do with self indulgence and wanting to be accepted in some way but all the same it is an issue because i cant/won't tell anyone about my other side but am realising that my mood is affected due to my secret and all it comes with.

Anyway that's my mindset at the moment thanks for reading.

MissS

[SometimesKairi]

As do I lovely

I want acceptance.
I want people to say "hey look at that pretty girl"

It's ego babe and it's totally normal :)

[BrendaPDX]

I am in the same boat, a closeted married CD. Yes I do have many pictures covering years of dressing en-fem. I just haven't shared any of them yet... Maybe some day:o

[Jolene Robertson]

Im fortunate to have an accepting wife so not a problem there. However I'm not out to anyone else except a few friends that I met through here. As far as pictures on this site? You have to be a member to access the picture gallery so... I guess if someone did recognize me from there I'd have to ask why they was on the site to begin with. Your avatar is the only picture that shows up off this site (if you search "Google" your name and crossdresser) it will show a link to any post you make on the general forum, which anyone can click and see your post and avatar. So share away.

[Lacey86]

Classic dilemma for a CD in the closet. Get all dressed up.. nowhere to go, no way to show it off. We seem to like taking pictures so we can look at them and know it was real. I'm not ready to share as my pics all include too much man in a 👗, and I'd be super embarrassed. Maybe if I went all out and shaved my chest and got a wig and a good makeup makeover.

[docrobbysherry]

So, which of your circle of family and friends r u worried will spend enuff time on cd.com that they will eventually suss out who u really r, Secret!?:straightface:

[Jenny123]

I do understand your concern. I'm also married with a wife who tolerates my female side. For a long time, I always had my face blurred out in my pictures. However, as time has gone on, that has become less of a concern as you can see from my profile picture here. For example, I've had my Facebook profile picture and featured pictures with my face unblurred for a while now which was the point that I gave up worrying about it. Nobody that I know of has seen them or said anything to me about it. Just go at your own pace, and do what you are comfortable with.

[Shely]

The same story here, closeted, married, DADT, wife knows but we can't discuss it. She has given me some mixed signals from time to time. I go to a great extend to leave nothing out after my dressing. I take lots of pictures and post them to myself on Flikr. Thought i might share them here someday, maybe. I am totally paranoid of friends and family finding out about "Shely". Oh well, I can't wait until this Friday the Goodwill's $Day. Maybe it's pink fog, i don't know but i can't wait until i can dress again. :Angry3:

[Alice_2014_B]

I share dressed-pictures on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, and Flickr; they're all of course my girl-side accounts, mainly to promote my YouTube and comedy.
:)

[DanielleDubois]

I only joined this forum a few days ago after lurking for years and decided if in for a penny then in for a pound and included an avatar with one of my better photos. I would be very surprised if anyone who accessed this public part of the forum could recognize me but of course it is still a personal decision to make. I do intend to share more photos in the private section of the forum once I have reached my 10 posts since as previously mentioned you must be a member to view them.

[Scarlett398]

Danielle, your Avatar photo is absolutely gorgeous! Can't wait to see more of you. The makeup, jewelry, and dress are so very sexy and feminine!

Glad you joined up and hope you stay in for a while. There are a lot of super girls on this site and everything is very private - especially the pictures posted in The Photo Gallery. Quite a few of mine are up right now in The Photo Gallery with any thread with my name Scarlett in them.

Have a wonderful weekend....:hugs: Scarlett

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Hey Alice, it's Scarlett. On the forums you mentioned where your posted photos can be seen, is Flickr a pretty private site or is it available for the whole world to see?

Thanks a bunch, Scarlett...Always great hearing from you! XOXOXO Scarlett :love:

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Hi Miss S....So glad to hear your thoughts and they pretty much mirror my situation and thoughts as well. I really love sharing pictures and thoughts with the girls on this forum.

It hasn't been long since my wife has accepted the Scarlett side of me, however, I have to keep it private and only get my girl on while she's not at home. It's just fine with me and I completely understand my limits and won't press my luck with trying to push things to new limits.

I am basically a closeted (but my wife accepts my cross dressing with limits) and married cross dresser. And very straight as well. I have absolutely no plans of ever fooling around with anyone in an intimate relationship other than that I have with my wife.

I have only been out in public three times and only once did I interact with others while dressed as Scarlett. It went so much better than I could have ever imagined.

I don't have to get out there on a regular basis to satisfying my cross dressing desires. Staying home, dressing up, and doing photo shoots by myself and then sharing the photos with others in this forum totally satisfies most all of my desires for cross dressing.

I hope one day, my wife will be more accepting of my cross dressing so I can share a pile of really neat pictures of Scarlett with her.

The self indulgence and the need to be accepted are probably attributes that are common to most all of the girls who post on this forum.

That's all the thoughts I'll share for now and I really enjoyed reading and relating to yours! XOXOXO Scarlett :hugs:

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Shely, you have the exact same situation I have with my wife. Glad to hear I'm not alone! Thanks for your post! XOXOXO Scarlett :hugs:

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Hey Miss S...One other thing of interest - where did you find those super sexy black mary jane heals? I've got a get a pair of those killers!

XOXOXO Scarlett :hugs:

[DanielleDubois]

Scarlett, thanks for the compliments, after 50 years of practice at least one photo has to turn out half decent.:daydreaming: Although as I approach my mid sixties it is getting harder to cover the face wrinkles that appear to grow larger and larger over night. The avatar photo was from three years ago but I promise to post more recent ones and to be a regular contributor to the forum since it has been so helpful to me even though I was only lurking for a few years.

[Tamsin Secret]

As do I lovely

I want acceptance.
I want people to say "hey look at that pretty girl"

It's ego babe and it's totally normal :)

It's crazy but true 🤣

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So, which of your circle of family and friends r u worried will spend enuff time on cd.com that they will eventually suss out who u really r, Secret!?:straightface:

It's more about them finding out before I ever get the courage to let my SO know. I feel if anyone should know she should be the first. It could be construed that i have already told people i.e through here but there is still the element of secrecy behind my profile so i don't count that.

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I only joined this forum a few days ago after lurking for years and decided if in for a penny then in for a pound and included an avatar with one of my better photos.

Beautiful photo Danielle 😊

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Hey Miss S...One other thing of interest - where did you find those super sexy black mary jane heals? I've got a get a pair of those killers!

XOXOXO Scarlett :hugs:

Thank you Scarlett and i have enjoyed looking at your posts, very envious of all the varieties you have shared. Wish i had the time and luxury of the clothes you have 😂

As for the shoes they were a charity shop find as is most of my small collection. I have had many but purged and lost them all. These are currently my only heels 😫

[Sandin Meknickers]

This is probably the only issue my gf has with this. Sets off her jealousy which she has a will for lol.

What do you want people to think when they look at pictures of you?

[Tamsin Secret]

What do you want people to think when they look at pictures of you?

Mixed feelings about it really. Ultimately I would just like to be accepted for how i looked. I would like to see if my eyes saw me differently to how others do.

I would like to critiqued, get tips, feedback etc etc.

I would also be lying if I said i wouldn't like some compliments even if they were only supportive.

I would be open to criticism too if it was delivered in the right way and meaningful.

And yeah i would like to know that if I was accompanied with others (perhaps a group of GG's) that even though i would not expect to blend in particularly, that i could be accepted as a part of that group and just be able to have fun in the way they would and be dressed.

Sorry if that's a bit gobbledygook it's just written as i thought!

[Caroline Varg]

I totally understand the feeling. Of course we all want constructive critique, delivered in a supportive way, of course. If the photo galleries on this site is not enough, consider opening FB or Flickr accounts in your female persona, and get going ☺️

[paulinescotlandcd]

As a married CD'er, around 37 years, I understand where you are coming from. You can look in the mirror and think you have got a reasonable look going but it is not until you post a few pictures on line and get some feedback do you slowly improve your look and realise what works for you what what should be sent to the recycle bin. I have posted for years on Flickr (link in my profile) but I will admit that I did at the start chop my own head off until I also realised the difference between what I look like dressed compared to "Bob" is a million miles and you and any one who has seen my photographs would not recognise me. I went to a party years ago all glammed up and spent a lot of the evening chatting to a couple of GG'S. Later before going home I changed and went back to the party and went back to speak with the girls and it was clear they had no idea initially who I was! So go ahead and join Facebook and do not worry or open a Flickr account and throw some pictures up. It is nice to look back as well and think ,well I like to think, I have improved my "look" over those years.:)

[Stacy Darling]

Hi, MissS

You sound to me to know what you are comfortable with and are in control of what you will do next.
So, there is no rush to get a picture out and when you are ready check the picture yourself and if you are good with it put it out. If not, bin it or filter it.
We should not be here to compete with each other, but the others! LOL
I'll be a critic when you do so there's one positive!

I would have more pictures if I didn't have my wife watching me like a hawk! ( that was stress relief! )

Stacy!

[DIANEF]

Miss S , I'm a closet dresser and have been on the forum about 7 months now. I have posted a few pictures of myself and am pretty sure no one who knows me would recognize Diane as me. Why post pictures at all? not really sure, maybe it's a form of acceptance, a way to show you're part of the community. I was reasonably happy with my look for a long time, but after joining here I realised I needed to really up my game after seeing some of the great looking members, and I think have. Pictures are a way of saying, 'this is me' really.

[kimdl93]

I do think we all yearn for acceptance...not just tolerance, but genuine, positive "you look great" kind of acceptance. Not just as a confidence builder but to feel validated. This is particularly true for anyone who has lived most of their life closeted or in a DADT arrangement.

After seven years and 17,700+ posts on CD.com, you'd think a person would be fully comfortable with themselves and their presentation. Over that time, I've vacillated between using my pic as an avatar and hiding altogether. Most of that vacillation relates directly to my level of self acceptance at a particular moment.

For a while I chastised myself for wanting to be more "out" in pictures and in real life...not just with the general public but with people who were a real part of my life. I convinced myself that it was akin to exhibitionism...and I pretty much creeped myself out at the thought. Now, I realize I just want to be seen as a mature and tastefully put together woman, or at least (as on close friend said) "the same person I've always been, but with nicer clothes". :)

[CarlaWestin]

I carry a folder of best of Carla pictures on my phone. Occasionally I'll look through them just imagining a situation where I would share them with someone. Sort of a, "Well, actually I've been crossdressing for nearly fifty years!" scenario. Aside from online friends and my wife and daughter, I've only told one other acquaintance about Carla.

[Teresa]

MissS,
I had the same guilty thoughts but I realise now they are stepping stones to coming out, my daughter and son in law are grateful to have some idea of what I look like, many of my GG friends now ask for my latest pictures. Maybe they don't or can't accept me in the flesh but so many have no problems with my dressing because of my pictures.
I need them to check out outfits and keep in touch with friends who want to see me but it's impractical in reality.

I also accept that it's part of my AGP, it's another way to be seen and accepted as a woman . I really don't have a problem who sees me or knows about my dressing, what do I have to be ashamed and hide ?

[Helen_Highwater]

MissS,

This is one of those things we tend to over think the what if's. Looking at your avatar if your face was shown the pic is so small no-one is going to recognise you especially if you've made even a poor job of your makeup.

I would suggest taking some more pics that like your avatar are at a distance. There's no obligation to post pics with high def clarity. Keep the pixel count low so even if someone tries to blow it up for a better look all they'll see is blurred images. And, as others have said, if someone asks, "Was that a picture of you I saw on CD.com?" you're going to reply, "Err what were you doing looking at pictures on there?". The chances of someone you know joining just out of curiosity are lets face it worse than odds of winning the lottery main prize 4 weeks on the trot.

[Jenny22]

The point that lurkers cannot view the photo gallery is one I had forgotten, and its a good one to remember. Thus, I'm gaining a little more confidence about posting photos, which may now happen sooner then later .. maybe.

[Tamsin Secret]

Thank you Stacy,
Your post made me grin 😏

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maybe it's a form of acceptance, a way to show you're part of the community.

This is true. I would like to feel like i was. 😊

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Kim so much of your post makes sense x

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Carla and Teresa I think i just want to be you!

[Jessicajane]

so nobody has a right to tell you what you should do or how you should feel, but a little bit of experience from others who have walked a similar path can help, even if it is just raising some ideas for your consideration....

firstly....STOP WORRYING.....

Seriously I am as guilty of this as you, in the past, and it does nothing to help you or your sanity...the reality is that nobody who knows you is going to clock you .... why would they be on this site anyway ... how would they explain that away if they did say something and for what it is worth anyone who would say something to others is probably not someone you would want in your life anyway..

the little profile pic you have suggests a stunning figure have some confidence and do whatever you want to do...

As to why we want to show ourselves, well there are heaps of reasons....vanity can play a part, but I suspect the psychology is more about repression of how we feel on the inside and wanting people to know us for who we really are...

The only other thing I picked up from your post is that you are closeted and cant / won't tell anyone...does that extend to your wife....that is a hyper delicate I appreciate but also an issue to think long and hard about resolving going forward...I don't know you or your marriage and would hate to put that in jeopardy in any way....but I am a massive believer your partner deserves to know you ...it may also help in curbing your need to show the feminine you to the world , having someone to talk to can and would be a massive help.
Just a thought
Jess x

[Francene Lola Dupree]

We seem to like taking pictures so we can look at them and know it was real.

This is how i explained my photo taking to my SO recently, that being able to look back at photos makes it real. I sometimes get lost in the fantasy of being dressed, and almost question whether it happened after the fact. Also enjoy looking at my pictures from a decade ago when i started dressing, when i had even less idea what i was doing.

So i know why i take them but less sure why i share them, but agree with other posters that it is probably much to do with feeling acceptance.

[Tamsin Secret]

Thanks Jess, a really thoughtful response and one i appreciated. X

[Sarah Louise]

Miss S, I really understand where you are coming from wanting to share photos. I love posting photos and do so on this site all the time.

Like you, I don't want work colleagues etc. to know my secret, but I'm very confident that they won't find out from the picture gallery on this site.

I think it's very unlikely that anyone I know is going to bother registering on this site and do their 10 posts just on the off chance that they might see me. And even if they did, they probably wouldn't recognise me when wearing a wig and make-up.

I am careful my avatar doesn't have a close up though as this can be seen on google searches. But I expect this is safe too.

Of course you should only do what you're comfortable with!

[SometimesKairi]

Miss S, I really understand where you are coming from wanting to share photos. I love posting photos and do so on this site all the time.

Like you, I don't want work colleagues etc. to know my secret, but I'm very confident that they won't find out from the picture gallery on this site.

I think it's very unlikely that anyone I know is going to bother registering on this site and do their 10 posts just on the off chance that they might see me. And even if they did, they probably wouldn't recognise me when wearing a wig and make-up.

I am careful my avatar doesn't have a close up though as this can be seen on google searches. But I expect this is safe too.

Of course you should only do what you're comfortable with!

Even more so, if someone from work recognises you, makes the ten posts and then calls you out at work....well what then?
Well, your workmate has signed up to a crossdressing site and has made the obligatory 10 posts to find you?
I think not.
If they are here, they are at least curious about crossdressing :)

[Tamsin Secret]

Ok so i may have just changed my pic ��

I feel great about it, and what's more it was pre make up experimentation so if i ever do share more things can only get better ��

I know it's baby steps and this is a very pixelated photo so no harm done but feel great inside.

[Sarah Louise]

And so you should feel great inside because you certainly look great on the outside!

[Tamsin Secret]

And so you should feel great inside because you certainly look great on the outside!

Awww ❤️ thank you

[Teresa]

MissS,
That's a very flattering comment considering our age difference, I'll do the swap anytime if I can lose thirty years like that . Just be patient and it will happen, it's not going away so give it time.

[Becky Blue]

MissS, know what you mean, I think seeing a picture of oneself in a public forum like here or Facebook is affirmation of who we are.