Nobody knows.. except me.

[paintmepink]

I don't know if this is the right forum to post in, so mods feel free to move it if warranted.

I just finished watching a hockey game, and playing video games with friends. My friends are straight, my family is straight - which doesn't bother me. However, whenever something happens that warrants excited feelings such as "Woo hoo! -- him i!" I feel.. out of place. It doesn't offend me, really, but whenever it's expressed I can't help but think to myself "You're into that."

I guess what I'm trying to say is I identify as bi-sexual, and nobody in my family or my friends circle knows. They're all very manly. They all work on vehicles - in fact, they know a lot about vehicles - and this makes me feel out of place as well. They swear quite often, and when they do, they sometimes mention the word "gay" or "homosexual."

I'm certain if I were to tell them they would be accepting, but it doesn't seem that way. I don't want them to laugh at me. I don't want them to make fun of me. I have to hide my stash from them, and the stash is plentiful.

Long story short: I'm hiding all of my clothes, underwear etc. from all of them. It's hidden in my house. I have no idea how I'd come out to them if I were to begin dating the same sex.

Is anybody else in this situation? I purged quite a while ago, but as soon as I saw intimates online - I had to order them, and then some.. and by some I mean (a lot) more.

[Teresa]

PPink,
You really don't know yourself because of the restraints of your family, it's not uncommon at your age, you have to make a bit of a break and make your own mark so you can find what you want out of life.

You appear to be caught upon the gay issue , d you know if its for real or just the connections your family will make through your CDing.

Most Cders aren't gay so,if you just love dressing it's not the logical conclusion that will follow . You don't mention a female partner or relationship, if dressing puts you off please remember some GGs are OK about it, I had two Gfs before I married who were fine .

I keep saying this now but a good way of getting out is to find a social group, most don't insist on dressing so it's a good way of meeting others and assess how they balance their lives . At the moment I travel thirty miles so my wife is comfortable with that , it doesn't concern me because at my age it's got to happen now or never.

You have to find the confidence to dress and be able to laugh the comments off if the family find find out, even so get to know what the dressing means to you and what's driving it. AS you found purging clothes don't solve anything, it doesn't make the feeling go away.

[SometimesKairi]

I think that sounds like a lot of genetic guys in general.
It's not actually homophobic comments just guys being dicks.

As for your coming out - why not just tell them?
Is it important to YOU that they know you are attracted to men?
If it isn't then dont worry about it, but if you want people to know, I personally dont think beating around the bush helps.
Get them all together, sit down and say 'okay, I am bisexual'
Questions will come, answer them.

They're friends for a reason and if they get all pissy about it then they aren't very good friends.

I have a friend who told me they were bisexual just in casual conversation and when I was surprised they replied 'oh, I thought you already knew'

That might work.

By the way, after about five seconds my friend and I just carried on chatting.

[Pat]

I guess what I'm trying to say is I identify as bi-sexual, and nobody in my family or my friends circle knows. They're all very manly. They all work on vehicles - in fact, they know a lot about vehicles - and this makes me feel out of place as well. They swear quite often, and when they do, they sometimes mention the word "gay" or "homosexual."

I'm certain if I were to tell them they would be accepting, but it doesn't seem that way. I don't want them to laugh at me. I don't want them to make fun of me. I have to hide my stash from them, and the stash is plentiful.

You seem to have two issues in play -- one is that you identify as bisexual and the other seems to be that you crossdress. Even though it may seem confusing at the moment, the two are separate and it may make it easier if you think of them separately. Neither issue has anything to do with enjoying sports or working on vehicles -- you can still like the things you like and be bi or a crossdresser or both. Actually, nothing about you has to change other than your acceptance of yourself. And if you accept yourself you'll probably eventually ask your friends to accept you as well. And yes, they will make fun of you because that's what friends do. You could take up flying model airplanes and they'd make fun of you for that. You could decide you like to do Civil War reenactments and they'd make fun of you for that. Friends are always finding handles to grab each other by. The thing that makes it OK is that they do it from a place of love. If your friends are loving they'll accept you but only after you accept yourself. ;)

[Lisa Roberts]

Well said Pat !

[Alyssa Lane]

Every guy will talk like that around his buddies to make small talk. Im a car guy, here in Canada, lots of my buddies are car guys. None know or need to, some have wondered why a womans swimsuit was in my room or a bra etc.

I just think you are confused as to what you are thinking, like being the crossdresser makes you interested in men. Most likely just an irrational thought. Been there, just need your self confidence like even true GG will struggle with now and again.

[Teresa]

Pat,
Maybe I read the thread wrong but I get the feeling that the friends and family play it pretty rough and I feel she's going to have a tough time until she makes the break and finds herself. I also feel her dressing is confusing her sexual preferences, she feels if she dresses she must be gay or that's what the people round her are convincing her of .

[DIANEF]

My son came out as gay about a year ago, his friends, all pretty average young guys fully accepted him and it made no difference to them. Some have even been to the Pride festival in Manchester with him despite being straight. People are generally more open to alternative lifestyles nowadays, I doubt if anyone will laugh at you. If your friends are real friends you will be okay.

[docrobbysherry]

Pink, I think there will definitely be some fall out from friends and family if u come out as a gay crossdresser. :sad:

If u aren't ready for that yet, don't come out now. I suggest waiting until you're older, more confident, and maybe living on your own?

Personally, I'm easily bored by macho guy talk. And, stopped hanging with those types 30 years before I began dressing.

In one way your lucky. Since most vanillas assume any man that dresses like a woman must be gay!:heehee: