Hrt????

[Shaunda]

I've read several posts about HRT here. I was noticing so many things about the physical result. I was wanting to here some comments about a few more things about the emotional results and what it does to daily life.

[AlyssaJ]

For me right now it's made me a little more emotional. I cry a little easier have some interesting mood swings but nothing too outrageous. Sad movies or even just sad stories can get to me. Heck, last night I was watching the follow-up interview from 20/20 with Caitlyn Jenner and couldn't even get through that without some tears (and I don't care for her at all).

I know some also report more calmness, less anxiety, etc. as the Dysphoria goes away. I've experienced some of that effect but not nearly to the level described by others.

[Bria]

If you do a search you will find many comments regarding the mental and emotional results of hrt that generally follow what AlyssaJ reports above.

I am not on hrt myself so I can't give you any personal experience.

Hugs, Bria.

[Sara Olivia]

I've been on HRT for 10 months now. The endocrinologist told me that on starting the hormones I could expect significant psychological changes almost right away. Truthfully I did not believe her. At the time I can only describe that I felt like having a current of electricity perpetually charge through my body. This was all stress related energy and adrenaline. I was always in a bad mood, would get frustrated and angry at the slightest provocation and in general was no longer a pleasant person to be around. I noticed a major calming effect within a day of starting the hormones, for whatever reason I started feeling much more at peace and very quickly my temperament evened out and I became a much happier person. I don't want to liken it to taking a tranquilizer because its definitely nothing like that, it just somehow made me feel so much more like myself and alive and happy.
I know some people describe becoming suddenly more emotional and crying more than before. I can't say that I experienced those changes though even before the hormones it didn't take much in a movie to get me to cry. Now 10 months in I feel like a new person with a much brighter outlook on life and definitely so much happier. Hope that helps.
Sara

[Shaunda]

Sara Nicole

Your insight is quite helpful. I appreciate you taking the time to share this with me

[Heidi Stevens]

I'm two years on HRT. I find my self more calm and aware also. I'm more empathic and can cry at the drop of a hat. I love every minute of it so far.

[Julie77]

I've only been on HRT almost 3 months now, so not very long. The only really emotional result I've noticed is my mood. I'm a lot more up beat and have a better outlook. I personally haven't experienced any real emotional swing (crying easily). I'm sure as I continue on it may come. LOVE it so far!!

[Sandra]

One of the main things I noticed about Nigella, is that she got so chilled out she was practically horizontal.

[Jeri Ann]

Hey Shaunda,

I have been doing HRT for quite a few years, injections for the past two years. Estrogen definitely has more than physical effects. It actually affects brain function. Not just emotions but also the way you think and deal with life could be affected. It just so happens that I am reading She's Not There by Jennifer Boylan. She is a writer who chronicles her journey, including the mental aspects. When her shrink was first describing how hormones work, he said to her, "People*who have taken hormones report that the most dramatic effect of all that estrogen is on your brain. There is said to be a distinctly different way that your brain will function, and in which you experience the world."

I have experienced this. I thought it was just me and that I was going crazy. Certainly individual results will vary.

Jeri Ann

[natasha]

Ill keep my description simple...............Ditto to all of the above!

[JohnH]

If I become angry for a long time my wife will say, "Time for your hormone shot". She has definitely noticed a calming effect of the HRT on me.

[Julie77]

Read that book. "She's Not There" A very good read. I would recommend it to everyone trans or not.

[tgirlamc]

Hi Shaunda

I hope all is well...I am 3+ years into HT

I do a good bit of public speaking and am often asked about the differences that are experienced starting hormones... I tell them that for me, testosterone was always like living someplace where there is little difference between the seasons... Estrogen is like seeing all the seasons... Beautiful Springs and Summers, spectacular but meloncholy Autumns and some very cold winter nights that make you appreciate the good times all the more.... I feel things now how they were meant to be experienced!!!... You will definitely feel that you are viewing the world through new eyes

Onward we go!!!

Ashley :)

[Mirya]

I've been on HRT for 15 months. Do I cry more now than before HRT? I don't think so. I cried during sad movies before, and I cry during sad movies now. Am I more calm? Maybe a little - I was always a pretty calm person and slow to anger. For me the greatest change was in my energy level. Throughout my life, starting in my teenage years, I always felt fatigued. Even if I slept 8-9 hrs a day, ate healthy, and was in great shape, I still felt sluggish and tired. But now, for the first time in my adult life, I have so much physical and mental energy. I'm wide awake the entire day, even with just 6 hrs of sleep. I really don't know how to explain it other than my body and brain are now finally running on the correct hormones.

[jentay1367]

Nothing like being happy to give you the energy to get through your day with a clear mind. Like Mirya, I've found that running the works on the proper fuel has made a world of difference for the better in both energy and clarity. I suspect I was using much of my reserve for the confliction I felt constantly prior to HRT. With that behind me, I can use all I have for tasks at hand as opposed to constantly having to entertain my internal diatribe that I need to keep going despite the fact I'm a phony and miserable. Depression can really suck your energy.

[Teresa]

Sara,
I was interested to read the effects HRT had on you, I'm so tired of being in a bad mood , frustrated with myself and everyone else and short tempered , also having a poor sleep pattern. My wife keeps telling me to take the antidepressants , which have sat in medical cabinet for sometime,
I know I don't need them . When I see comments like yours I feel I should go and see my GP and ask if hormones will help. The problem is what about the physical side effects, if I chose not to tell my wife . I'm sure she will finally think it's the end of the road when she discovers I'm on medication.In case you're wondering I'm TG with AGP . ( I don't want to stir up a hornets nest over this, I accept it and need to move forward and deal with it, partial transition will help I know .)

Do I mind if I ask if you are married or not and if so how does your wife come to terms with it ?

[Megan G]

Do I mind if I ask if you are married or not and if so how does your wife come to terms with it ?



The problem is what about the physical side effects, if I chose not to tell my wife.

Teresa,

Not telling your wife that you have decided to begin HRT and traveling down that road is exactly how to get her to NOT accept it or come to terms with it.

I showed your post to my spouse who has stuck with me since I started down this road over 4 years ago and her exact response was if I would have done that we would not be together today....

The problem is not the physical side effects of going on HRT, the problem is you being deceitful with her and not including her in the decision to begin this. I get that your currently in a dadt or what ever you want to call it but if your going to travel down this road you need to own this and be honest with the person you have spent the majority of your life with.

It may be a deal breaker for her but that is something each and every one of us have risked as we walked down this path. Your situation is not unique...

[AllieSF]

Well said Megan. HRT is serious, much more so than dressing up and going out. If you need to do it, then take the correct steps to get there, including telling those that need to know.

[LeannS]

Shaundra Women hate to be lied to ask me and I will tell what my wife said it wasn't nice, included her in what your planning
this is just my 2 cents worth

Leann

[Teresa]

Megan,

As I am experiencing the same feelings Sara described I wondered if hormones could have the same results for me , If I didn't experience the physical side effects it may be better if my wife didn't have the concerns over me taking medication.

Allie,
You know me well enough now to know that there is more to it than dressing up and going out, I realise the implication of what I asked. It's the same old story in this section , put people down without considering what is behind their question.

[AllieSF]

Teresa, I do know you somewhat. I totally get that you are finding your way along a difficult and sometimes confusing path. I was specifically replying to your statement, "if I chose not to tell my wife". The "if" meant to me that you were considering it as a possible scenario. I did not put you down, rather I gave you sage old advice that I have read here many times and try and have practiced myself when necessary. Please do not take offense where none was intended.

[Megan G]

If I didn't experience the physical side effects it may be better if my wife didn't have the concerns over me taking medication.

Teresa,

So you think we only put people down in this section without fully considering the question.....well if that is truly your feelings than here is the opportunity to explain and expand on it to make us understand...

Can you elaborate on how it could possibly be better for your spouse not to know that you have made a life changing decision and began HRT....

The answer cannot be "because if she knew our marriage would end"...

[Teresa]

Megan,
Whatever impression I give I'm still trying to make my marriage work, when I read Sara's reply, her comments about her moods reflected how I feel much of the time. If hormones helped in reducing those feelings my marriage may settle down, if there were no noticeable physical side effects we could both benefit from the medication . I'm almost certain if my wife knew she possibly wouldn't believe me that I was basically trying to help our marriage , I also believe she would see it as the final straw and think I wanted to be a woman , so yes it would possibly signal the end of our marriage .

OK , I'm still trying to sit on the fence, and attempting to have a situation as something worth holding onto , is that so wrong ?

[Megan G]

Teresa,

First off there is nothing wrong with trying to hold on to something you may cherish. But if you began HRT and did not tell her what you are really doing is taking away her ability to make a decision on what's best FOR HER. That is the point I am trying to make and get across to you. What you consider as a win/win situation she may consider a deal breaker, and by you not telling her all the facts does not allow her to make an informed decision.

HRT is not a magical elixir that will take away all your mood problems, life will not suddenly become all rainbows and unicorns (god I hate that saying).

You need to work on the underlying problems that are causing the mood issues. Just for example yes when I started HRT almost 4 years ago I did get some calming effects, but it was short lived.....because I was not living authentically. I was still in hiding and living part time.... it was not until I went full time that all the issues went away and I found true peace.

My advice to you is to get your butt into an experienced therapist way before you consider HRT.

[natasha]

For me anyway, my going on HRT actually improved and probably saved my marriage. My wife is very supportive.

[Teresa]

Megan,
I have read your advice and to answer that I've already been to gender counselling and during those sessions we nearly separated , we decided to accept a compromise for the sake of the family so I guess this a price I'm paying for that . When I look at it like that she may be more accepting of medication, we don't have intimate contact anymore ( her choice through the menopause , not mine and nothing to do with my CDing .) so she's not losing that part of me she lost interest over ten years ago .

As for taking hormones through the authorised channels, my GP would possibly want to see fresh counselling anyway but I know I'm on my own with them , she doesn't want to know, I'm not sure if she could live with another round of sessions , she knows what the outcome will be , so at some point she would probably want to call it a day anyway , this time round I would probably go along with it .

I totally agree I need to go full time to discover the unanswered questions for that to happen it would have to mean separation .

Megan , I am listening , all this goes through my mind most days , like I said I'm trying to sit on the fence and do right for everyone . I know life for me now is always going to be a compromise either side of that fence .

Natasha ,
Thanks for that , it would be great to hear a little more .

[Sara Olivia]

Teresa,
You asked if I was married. Yes I am married and yes I have been upfront with my wife about this issue for many years. If you start hormones, your wife will surely notice both the physical and psychological changes in you. So my advice on that front is to make sure you have her on your side before starting HRT. How did I get my wife onside? Well I am very lucky in that I have a very kind hearted caring, warm woman for a wife. Even so, it took her time, and by that I am talking several years, to really come onside with me. She did a lot of research on the issue and we also spend about a year in counselling toghether trying to help her understand what exactly I was going through, also expressing and working through her concerns regarding this issue and mine. Since starting hormones the fighting in our relationship has gone from regular to almost non-existent. She confided in me once that if our relationship had ended in divorce it would not have been because of my gender identity and looming transition but rather that as I was getting more and more unhappy in my life I was also becoming much more difficult to live with and creating discord in my family. These days harmony is much more the order of the day and my family is much happier and we are all much closer as a result of this. I hope that this information in some way helps you with your difficult future decisions.

[Teresa]

Sara,
Many thanks for your reply.
I came out to my about twenty years ago, but it's only in the last 3-4 years I've wanted to be more open with my CDing in an attempt to find out what my true needs and feelings are. I have had two separate sessions of counselling, the first to make sure I had no more tendencies to end my life ( that was an incident just after I came out to her .) The second was gender related which sadly was cut short through budget cuts in the NHS . I don't want to upset any apple carts but AGP appeared to make sense to me by digging deeper away from the forum and receiving some very useful information . My history was read by a couple of doctors in this field and concluded that I'm a classic example again sadly my wife knows nothing of this and she makes it clear she doesn't want to know . Maybe you can see why I related to your comments and why hormones might help me level the situation out, as I replied to Megan my GP possibly won't prescribe them without counselling. You have your wife on board now, I just can't see that happening for me.

It's so good to read that your situation improved , it's very good of you to reply and give me some encouragement not to give up , I know it looks like a 50-50 situation so it can go either way.

[Sara Olivia]

Teresa,
You're very welcome and I know how difficult this issue and this decision must be for you. I still lie awake many nights wondering if I was right to begin the process of transition. I worry that my wife will change her mind one day when faced with a permanently female spouse. That my kids will want nothing to do with me as they grow more independent every day. As I said in my earlier post, we all fight much less now and seem much closer as a family. But I think its human nature to second guess ourselves. Where I am trying to go with this is to say that there is never total certainty in the outcome of any situation. Perhaps you will find a way to change your wifes mind on this issue. I had many family and friends tell me how selfish I am to do this to my family. They all think it was a choice on my part whereas to me it was the only way that I could see myself have a future. Perhaps you can see a future for yourself without hormones and without transitioning. Perhaps not. Only you really know the answer to that question. Be aware though that if you do start hormones there is a very high likelihood that you will experience noticable physical changes. After about eight months on hormones there was no way that I could go to a public swimming pool in male mode. I agree with all the other ladies who comment that you should talk to your wife before starting the hormones if that is what you choose to do. It will most likely be impossible to keep it a secret in the long term. Whatever you choose to do I wish you the very best of luck and that ultimately you find the happiness that you deserve.