Be Honest

[deebra]

Be honest, isn't wearing the clothes really saying you want to be female ? Like a young, beautiful female woman? I like many love the softness, colors, tight on your body, sexiness the female clothes bring but aren't we really trying to be a woman in dress, body, appearance and mannerisms? Let me give an example. Yesterday being a bright, warm sun shiney day as I was walking out of a department store I passed a woman coming in in her early thirties, this was how she was dressed. White short shorts and beautiful tanned legs, full C or D breasts showing cleavage, blond hair and pretty. She looked very nice and not dressed ****ty at all, just a beautiful woman and her beauty was showing. Not only was she nice to see but the thought was there to be her, be that attractive with her beauty, younth and great figure. Probially going in the store to buy some female clothing and this being just normal, so different than some CD's that have some fear when entering the women's department. Honestly isn't she what crossdressers want to be? So we do the best we can by wearing their clothes. Lucky, lucky her.

Might I add a woman such as described has so much going for her; even thought some find men attractive also she has a body that can be dressed sexy or classy, men don't have beautiful faces, she does, clothes and styles galore to pick from and an outward appearance that is envied by women and men are drawn to and desire her. Her appearance also makes life easier for her. And she doesn't have to be macho as is expected in a lot of the male culture; just soft, pretty, feminine, gentle and lady like. Not a bad way to go.

Now, let's hear from the Nay Sayers.

[Toronto Kristen]

Hi Deebra,

This is the second thread that you have started recently that could be characterised as being activist or advocacy focused. I am curious why you feel the need to go down this path?

As noted by a few people on your other thread (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?249416-By-not-wearing), everyone on this thread (and in the CD community as a whole) is at different point on the CD continuum. Some people are more than comfortable with being a man but still enjoy the feel of women's clothes. Others are further along the continuum and do transition. Why the apparent need to get (force) people to admit that deep down that all CDs want to transition?

[Mark B]

Hi Deebra, Being honest! There is not one part of me that wants to be female! I just enjoy the clothes and besides they are not women's clothes if bought and worn by a man...

[Sandin Meknickers]

The want to be a beautiful woman has been replaced by a want to simply be beautiful in later years for me. I love many of the textbook features of the "feminine" physique. But choosing to ignore that for a long time has given me an appreciation for what I was blessed with. I have enough enviable about me that women have commented on before. This is without any effort. So if a woman can appreciate me and elevate me above herself in some repsects. The entire truth upon which the beautiful woman desire is founded on melts away somewhat.

I enjoy wearing "girls" clothes but that is as much girl as I need to apply any effort to. Plus hair as being bald is not sexy. I don't remember ever wanting to give birth or have a period or part with hormonal control so even when I did want to be a beautiful girl, I didn't. I just wanted to emulate that which I could see of woman.

[mykell]

Hi Deebra,

This is the second thread that you have started recently that could be characterised as being activist or advocacy focused. I am curious why you feel the need to go down this path?

As noted by a few people on your other thread (https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?249416-By-not-wearing), everyone on this thread (and in the CD community as a whole) is at different point on the CD continuum. Some people are more than comfortable with being a man but still enjoy the feel of women's clothes. Others are further along the continuum and do transition. Why the apparent need to get (force) people to admit that deep down that all CDs want to transition?


yes lets be honest, what are you really looking for....

[NicoleScott]

Deebra, I'm wondering if you just like to throw out topics for debate, or if you really believe your premise. In both cases (this and the one referenced by Kristen), I think your premise is flawed.
Sure, some who wear the clothes wish they were female, but NO, many of us (I'm one) like being male, embrace all that it means to be male (husband, father, brother, handyman, gardener, sportsman, etc. etc.) AND like to occasionally dress up. And as many of us have posted, always keep our male identity even when transformed as ultra-femme as we like to be.
I close with the same thought as in the other thread: we're not all the same.

[Jaylyn]

In all honesty I love wearing the clothes and the feelings of looking in the mirror and wondering who that person is all made up staring back at me. Long Long before I ever wondered why I do this I enjoyed playing in moms makeup, dressing in her hose and trying to walk in her heels. This was way before I knew what the opposite sex had that we didn't.
Deep down I think of my CD is now nothing more than a hobby I enjoy. The smoothness and feelings that take me back to my childhood for a reason I can't explain. I fish and hunt because I love and enjoy the great outdoors. I dress because I've grown a fondness of enjoyment from it also. I don't want to be a woman, I've been so very blessed as a man being strong, tall and good health. Why would I want to change those qualities.
Only thing I wish would change is that it would be ok if man accepted wearing makeup, softer clothes, and had kinder feelings for every one as most women have for each other. You know that in most of nature the males are the prettier of the two. The females are the drab ones. Look at your turkies, peacocks, and many of the mammals such as the buck deer n the drab all the same does. Maybe somewhere men's brightness was trampled upon. Who knows?

[Ressie]

I agree with Nicole. Let me add that what I see is that you are envious of women, but not all women. You don't want to be an average or below average woman as far as looks go. AS a CD you must realize how much time and effort women put into their looks. You aren't looking at the realities that women have to face throughout their lives.

I think many of us have the same fantasy that you do. That is, to be a beautiful woman that has feminine powers that men don't have. But it's pure fantasy.

[Micki_Finn]

Some do really want to be female yes. But not all of us. Do paint ballers really want to be professional soldiers? Do the guys in the rec league really want to be pro ball players? Not necessarily. They can enjoy pretending or losing themselves in the fantasy for a while but usually they also enjoy their normal lives.

[ginapoodle]

I walk my own pathways.

[jennifer0918]

Be honest to yourself darling. Me I would like to be the woman I could be with my own body,my own look, that's it and in NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO form want to attract men. That young lady you saw at the mall with the shorts,blonde hair,and double DD and what not does not have an easy life,you assume she does. I'm sure that young lady had many struggles,that we don't see. We all see her glory,but don't know her story. To answer your question at this point in my life many people depend on me as Joe the plumber, but that does not mean I can't be Jenny from the block from time to time. Good luck and I hope you find the answers that your looking for.

[NancySue]

Nope...Definitely not me. Since my early experiences, starting with hose, I honestly never considered wanting to be a female. I dress both under and totally, definitely when the pink fog rolls in. When I see a classy female, including my supportive wife, my usual thoughts include, "how would that look on me, does it come in my size, etc." As mentioned, our continuum includes so many options, needs, wants, it would be impossible to identify them all. For me, wherever your path takes you, you're on the path forever. You my wander off the path, but you'll be back. Enjoy it. If you want to be a female....go for it. Good luck.

[Tina_gm]

Where to begin with this?... you, and some others apply what dressing and whatever else is to you and project it on to the rest of us. Because that's what it is for you MUST mean that's what it is for everyone. But, that's not how it works.
You will find those who do feel as you do, but many others who don't. Some of us just like the outer appearance, others like the duality. It's all very much unique to us all.

[Dana44]

Some of us are on a totally different plane of cross dressing. Yeah being feminine is nice. Nevertheless, to an Gender fluid person. We were born male, but feminine is also part of us. I like that and no matter how much we feel like a woman, we will always be baseline male and that is the way it is. Heck I could be fem for a long time but the switch comes. I like being both sides. That is why I could never be transsexual. It is hard enough to be one or the other. Yet, I enjoy my side of life.

[docrobbysherry]

Which is even MORE far fetched after your recent post claiming to like your "androgynous" look, Deebra?:straightface:

But, to stay on topic, if u wish to look like a pretty woman badly enuff u probably can!:battingeyelashes:

After all, I'm over 70. If I can do it, maybe u can, too!:daydreaming:
276130

[Alice B]

If it were possible to shape shift from total male to total female and back, then yes. I like both forms, sometimes totally a male and at other times wishing I were totally a female. But, that is not possible and in the world I live in I have to respect the reality of my life.

[DIANEF]

Being honest, I am a male that when he gets the opportunity likes to present as female, and when I do it I go all out to look as femme as possible. I have had moments in the past when I've thought about being permanently in a female mode, but these are just fantasies really and I have never seriously considered transition or that I may have GD issues. I would however spend much more time as Diane if I could.

[Judy-Somthing]

I have no interest of being a woman but I do find it fun trying to look like a woman.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I just really enjoy having the best of both worlds.

[ellbee]

Be honest, isn't wearing the clothes really saying you want to be female ?

No.

Besides, the grass isn't always greener on the other side. For anybody & everybody. (And that includes GG's. ;) )



On a related note: For those who desperately want to "pass" so bad, they really should be careful what they wish for.

One is truly opening up a whole new can of worms, with that. Don't believe me? :devil:

[Stephanie Julianna]

Honestly, I have wanted to be that woman my whole life.

[SometimesKairi]

You"ll get no definitive answer here.
Some just like the look and feel like a female but strongly identify as Male.
Some want to be female completely and some (like me) are a very confused somewhere in the middle.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
As far as I'm concerned wearing the clothes is part of the equation of AGP, I want to be seen and accepted as a woman, but to a point my own woman . I try not to put women on pedestals , even the one you describe might look stunning but nothing stops her having a bad day and dressing really nicely to snap out of it. They might look perfect but like most of us they don't live perfect lives , dressing to copy her wouldn't resolve your problems.
You have to come to terms with what you have and try an make the most of it, no most of us don't pass you just have to become comfortable in your own skin, that is how you will gain acceptance not trying to be something you can never be .

[Tracii G]

I'm really trying to figure out where your head is Deebra but it sounds like you are just jealous of women.

[Tama]

Since I really have no idea what road I am traveling along, I cannot answer this question. I only know day by day, hour by hours even, as to where I am at in any given feeling with this....

[sometimes_miss]

Deebra if you'd spend more time reading, and less time writing, you'd learn a lot more. Right now it just seems like you're trolling just for the purpose of making new threads. Try reviewing the older threads; it's all there. I'm not trying to be mean, but there's so much information on this website that it seems you haven't accessed. Before I even joined, I had been reading for months. Or maybe I'm just getting tired of posting the same information over and over again, just because so many people are too lazy to read through the forum themselves, they need to have information spoon fed to them. While writing up a response to you, I realized that I've written the same thing many times before on various threads.

Reading; it's fundamental.

[Gillian Gigs]

To be honest, wishing I was female takes about as much of my time as wishing I was an NFL football player, or NHL hockey player.
Ain't going to happen, but it has been dreamed about. In a perfect world I would wear a men's shirt, over a nylon lacy camisole, panties, pantyhose and a skirt, with comfortable shoes. Why, because I love that tactile feel of nylon against my skin, and skirts just seem to make more sense to me than pants while dressed in pantyhose, or stockings. This clothing style has evolved from my youth when the clothes were mainly for sexual purposes. To put it plainly, I like the clothes.

[PaulaAnn]

Hi all. Well it's pretty simple for me. I've wanted to be a woman since I first realized it back when I was six years old. There was never a doubt in my mind that I was really born a woman and the male parts were a gene malfunction or accident at birth. All the years that I spent hidden in the closet were traumatic but I never lost that undying urge to be a woman. It was just the wrong time and life circumstances that prevented my transition.When I did come out ,I was the Phoenix that has arisen.
Every aspect of being a woman was pure heaven to me and I couldn't wait to dump all of my male attire and "stuff". So now I consider myself a "complete" woman both physically and mentally,but that being said I still enjoy a man but no, I wouldn't be a man again.
PaulaAnn

[Lana Mae]

I am on a journey and have not reached the destination! Lana Mae comes out to play at times! More male then female so far! No transitioning at this point. Meaning no hormones or surgery! Just enjoying the journey! Sounds like a little jealousy of females and they go through so much that males do not have to put up with! No I will still love them and imitate them at times as imitation is the best form of flattery! Love them regardless of shape or size! They do not need a pedestal just love! Hugs Lana Mae

[Nikki A.]

Honestly, if I was young in today's society, knowing what I know now, I might have transitioned.
At my age and situation in life I am very happy, presenting as a woman when I can and be a guy the rest of the time. I also have become more comfortable with admitting that I am a CD. Everyone on this forum is different and I don't intend to speak for anyone but myself. You have to be yourself.

[rachelatshop]

Gillian, what stops you from wearing those stocking and panties under your male clothes? I do almost every day. It is not perfect but it feels better than no stockings. I find that feeling just so intoxicating.

[Salina]

I have no desire to transition. Ever since I was a little boy I've wanted to be a boy, now a man dressed and living as a woman. There are many aspects of being male that I love, especially my male parts. I have a good life with a wife and two daughters that I never would want to give up. Although the idea of living my life as a woman full time is very appealing, the circumstances and reality of my life don't allow it.

[deebra]

HELP, EMERGENCY, I've been shot full of holes on my last two threads and am close to Dead On Arrival. So many negatives. Think I'll just keep my opinions to my self and not upset so many people that are so positive and supportive, isn't that what this forum is suppose to be, positive and supportive to our fellow members???? BYE.

[StephanieM]

For me, part of me is just as female as any GG is. There is also part of me that is as manly as any man. When dressed the female side of me is expressed.

[Stephanie47]

Too bad you feel the comment are negative. If you really think about the question you posed, you are asking whether or not what we feel is wanting to be a woman. Actually, before I read the comments because I had a real good chuckle. You made it sound as if being a woman is heavenly bliss. All a woman does is walk around dolled up in beautiful clothes, exquisitely done makeup and possess a dynamite body causing male erections where ever she goes. How about those women who are obese, ill, not blessed with the physical attributes which make immature men salivate? Or who cannot afford pretty clothes? Or who stay home all day with kids? Or have abusive husbands? Have a boring job? Paid less than men for the same work? Ugh! Maybe, it better to be a man pretending to be a woman?????

Life is not always a bowl of cherries. Life may be like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're getting to get.

Me? I'll be celebrating the completion of seven decades on this earth. I've done all the manly things required by society. I've been interested in wearing women's clothing for more than six decades. I do not have a clue why. Did I ever want to be a girl or a woman? No. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a woman. If I were to be anything other than a man being a woman would be really cool. Then, in all probability I'd be wearing jeans, tee shirts, and athletic shoes.

Out of curiosity where do you expect to be when you're seventy years old?

[Tracii G]

Deebra why are you so bull headed? (country for stubborn).
You make a statement assuming we all think the way you do then you get all huffy when some people disagree with your statements.
I don't get mad or take it personally if someone disagrees with me.

[Trione]

Deebra you seem to want to stir a wasp nest. I dress because I like the feel of nice lingerie. Only been out once to a Halloween party and the wife went as a man. Never has been sexual unless the wife wanted to switch roles. I am a male and plan on keeping my manhood. We each CD for our own reasons although many are similar.

[NicoleScott]

Deebra, no need to withdraw and pout. I always enjoy reading your posts, even those I don't agree with.
But c'mon....
You've been a member for nearly seven years, and surely (don't call me Shirley) you've read a lot of posts. How can you possibly think that we all want to be women?
And.....you invited comments from nay-sayers. You got them.

[docrobbysherry]

C'mon, Deebra! Don't give up! If we've hurt your feelings with negative replies, simply start a new "Pantie Thread". You'll get pointless, nonsensical, but all positive replies!:)
And, another plus, I skip those----:heehee:


HELP, EMERGENCY, I've been shot full of holes on my last two threads and am close to Dead On Arrival. So many negatives. Think I'll just keep my opinions to my self and not upset so many people that are so positive and supportive, isn't that what this forum is suppose to be, positive and supportive to our fellow members???? BYE.

[Fiona123]

For me crossdressing a sign that I am somewhere between male and female, that is I am transgender. I do not imply that this is true for others who crossdress. I love the feel of feminine attire. I love the feeling of having breasts, and so forth.

I hate patriarchy and macho or "bro" culture. That stuff make me sick.

I will never be young and beautiful. I'm sure I appear hideous en femme. But I rather wish I could be a woman full time.

[Tracii G]

There is that buzz word Patriarchy again LOL
I never understood people calling others 'bro especially women (young girls mostly) when they say dude or 'bro to other girls.

[Amelie]

I sort of understand your point. If it was just about the clothes then why the wig, why the breast form or even the make up. OK some don't wear these things and maybe some just like the look and feel with these things, but still, it might be more than just about the clothes. Well for some. I don't speak for everyone but I do kinda understand what you are trying to say.

For me it's more than the clothes, I feel that I am a woman no matter what I wear. Put me in a oversized tshirt and jeans/sneakers and I feel like a woman, put me in a tight dress and I feel like a woman. How I feel, who I am, doesn't change with the clothes I wear. Also, I was never "macho".

You might also be correct in that the woman in your post might have it easier in the looks department than trans women, maybe even more so than other women. But without knowing her we don't know how happy her life is. Being pretty doesn't equal happiness.

[Tina_gm]

Debra, the negatives are not to you personally. I don't recall anyone saying you're doing it wrong. Not me, I can tell you that for certain. I think anyone and everyone should live as they desire to. And be as much of an activist as they want to. Or, not be one.

The only problem I have is you saying we all feel as you do or should live as you do. It's right for you, and there are plenty of others who it's right for them as well. But, not everyone. Reasons vary. Those reasons are all as valid as yours is to live as you do. IMO, you are doing nothing wrong at all living as you do. It's not where I am at though, and there's nothing wrong with that either.

- - - Updated - - -

Sorry for the wrong spelling, deebra . My phone thinks it's smarter than me.

[Hellen]

I didn't see any negative responses here. Everyone has own opinion and own reasons to be here, to crossdress and etc. Personally I am pretty happy with my men life and I am happy to dress and feel like I am a woman from time to time. It is my way.

[sometimes_miss]

HELP, EMERGENCY, I've been shot full of holes on my last two threads and am close to Dead On Arrival. So many negatives. Think I'll just keep my opinions to my self and not upset so many people that are so positive and supportive, isn't that what this forum is suppose to be, positive and supportive to our fellow members???? BYE.

Well, remember, you DID invite responses!

Now, let's hear from the Nay Sayers.

[Tracii G]

Kinda what I was thinking too.
She did ask for honesty.

[Ressie]

Be honest, isn't wearing the clothes really saying you want to be female ?

I passed a woman coming in in her early thirties, ....just a beautiful woman and her beauty was showing. Not only was she nice to see but the thought was there to be her, be that attractive with her beauty, youth and great figure... Honestly isn't she what crossdressers want to be? So we do the best we can by wearing their clothes. Lucky, lucky her.

...an outward appearance that is envied by women and men are drawn to and desire her. Her appearance also makes life easier for her.

I don't think Deebra is saying that we all literally want to transition. Many of us have the fantasy of being a young, attractive woman temporarily or even permanently. The controversy in her post is in assuming all CDs want this, yet I believe the majority have similar fantasies. We all have some things in common yet each CD is unique. How about this?

All crossdressers want:

to go out dressed in public (nope)
to wear padding to enhance their figure (nope)
to become a woman - wouldn't that make us transexuals?
to be young - don't most older people want to be younger? No, not all.
to dress nice, not ****ty (nope)
to have a feminine face - only if they want to transition

Don't assume we all want the same things because we're on this forum. That's all.

[Lucy23]

No, I don't want to be a woman, nor do I care about wanting to feel like a woman. Any attempt at mimicking mannerism or even the walk in heels for that matter feels way off to me. It's only the clothes, nothing more.

I've recently reconnected with my exgirlfriend who knows and saw me dressed. We have talked about it, and the more we do so, the more I'm sure that I'm just a guy in a dress and she sees me in the same way. Which is funny though, because my style is very feminine and she said that she would put on something like that only with great hesitation, and would do anything to avoid skirts, dresses or heels.

And I want to echo what Martha said: "they are not women's clothes if bought and worn by a man..."

[suzanne]

My wife had the same question. She just thought my wearing women's clothes signified a need to become a woman. It took some time for me to get her to understand that in my case, both my male and female sides need to be present. That am not complete unless both sides participate in my life, sometimes more of one than the other.

[CONSUELO]

When I dress I wish to be as feminine looking as possible. I love feminine clothing, and all that goes with it such as jewelry, makeup and heels.

I have thought about whether I would like to undergo sexual reassignment surgery and have my body take on the morphology of a woman, but with the same brain, albeit perhaps altered by hormones and nothing can eradicate my history. After much thought I decided that it is looking as feminine as possible that I desire and not to become a female. I see that as two distinct realities.