Time for a wee break

[SometimesKairi]

It's time for a short break from dressing up.
My gender identity if very confused right now and the time it takes to do makeup etc made me realise that I have been neglecting looking after myself for so long.
My skin is lax and dull, my hair is tired and oily, my teeth need new teeth and my energy levels are very low.

So, as I am quite poor the next purchases will be things to make default me better.
You know, electric toothbrush, funky face creams, hair rejunavnation, hopefully quit drinking and sleep more.

Once default me is happy with myself then I think its time to see where I stand.

As a result it means no pretty clothes, make up or wigs for a while.

Um, yeah so just in case anyone starts wondering why I have gone quiet or whatever :)

[Leslie Mary S]

You are OK. Many of us do take a break , to meditate, and check to see if we have a few loose screws, and who is looking.
We will wait for your return with baited breath to see that hat come bopping down the virtual hallway.
I too take breaks. I am loud, pushy, and hard to be with. The Hippo in the tutu and green "Keds".

[Stacy Darling]

I thought that was why you were Sometimes KIARI !

My wife would like me to take a break ! (or break my neck, whichever)

Take care while your off, see you when you're back! if I'm here?

Stacy using a smiley :)

[Lydianne]

@Kairi: Yes, when you go from having this TG feeling which you have probably tried to keep hidden since youth to registering here where you can finally discuss everything, it's like a huge, overwhelming explosion. I felt it, too.

When you read the experiences of others, you realise all the possibilities available to you, and it really makes you think. I've felt some negative stuff regarding my masculinity that I had never felt before, but I'm quite dismissive of it because I had never felt it before. It's funny because it comes at a time when I feel very little inclination to dress. It's difficult to maintain focus, but a part of my brain has to take the role of the immovable object to this seemingly irresistible force.

I'm not an expert, but I think it would be a positive for you to take your time, find out exactly where you stand, and not rush anything. See you if and/or when you get back :) .

[SometimesKairi]

You are OK. Many of us do take a break , to meditate, and check to see if we have a few loose screws, and who is looking.
We will wait for your return with baited breath to see that hat come bopping down the virtual hallway.
I too take breaks. I am loud, pushy, and hard to be with. The Hippo in the tutu and green "Keds".

Just trying to clear my head a bit without the influence of pretty dresses haha
Besides, if default me looks good, then Kairi will be able to look better

- - - Updated - - -


I thought that was why you were Sometimes KIARI !

My wife would like me to take a break ! (or break my neck, whichever)

Take care while your off, see you when you're back! if I'm here?

Stacy using a smiley :)

I was Paul, then sometimes Kairi and then totally Kairi. Now I am just confused haha
I'm sure I will be back. Regardless of what happens and I'll likely lurk around the forums.
Hey if your wife can break necks more power to her! Haha :)

[

- - - Updated - - -


@Kairi: Yes, when you go from having this TG feeling which you have probably tried to keep hidden since youth to registering here where you can finally discuss everything, it's like a huge, overwhelming explosion. I felt it, too.

When you read the experiences of others, you realise all the possibilities available to you, and it really makes you think. I've felt some negative stuff regarding my masculinity that I had never felt before, but I'm quite dismissive of it because I had never felt it before. It's funny because it comes at a time when I feel very little inclination to dress. It's difficult to maintain focus, but a part of my brain has to take the role of the immovable object to this seemingly irresistible force.

I'm not an expert, but I think it would be a positive for you to take your time, find out exactly where you stand, and not rush anything. See you if and/or when you get back :) .

I don't think I ever hid any TG feelings growing up. Hell didn't even know TG can cover such a broad range of people.
It's more I never thought about it whatsoever or questioned that me man.
So when I got around to questioning it my mind went doolally.
Sounds similar to you :)

Masculinity has always been stupid in my eyes.
Chest beating braggery. Meh, just be happy with whatever :)

[Fiona123]

It's really important to take care of yourself. I stopped drinking almost 8 months ago now and lost 13 pounds! Good luck!

[kimdl93]

Absolutely, take care of your physical and emotional health. It will most certainly change your perspective and give you a greater sense of control over your life.

[Pat]

So, as I am quite poor the next purchases will be things to make default me better.
You know, electric toothbrush, funky face creams, hair rejunavnation, hopefully quit drinking and sleep more.

Just my opinion but it seems like taking care of yourself can be part of being Kairi. The first things I did when I finally accepted who I am were things to make that person healthy and attractive (to me.) I never cared for my male character much -- as a result, he was grossly overweight; diabetic; poor skin tone and badly-kempt. When I found a me I cared about, I also cared about their appearance and overall health. You don't have to give up one for the other. Sure, you might redirect your spending, but it's not really taking a break, it's just taking care of yourself. ;)

[Lydianne]

I don't think I ever hid any TG feelings growing up. Hell didn't even know TG can cover such a broad range of people.
It's more I never thought about it whatsoever or questioned that me man.


Yes, I refer to it as TG retrospectively because at that time, I was also unaware that I could be classified within that range. I was fine with being male through my youth but I did dress. I only recently realised that this also lies within the range.

By the way, when I said "masculine", I wasn't referring to chest beating and braggery :) . That's not masculinity, IMO. That's something with a different description ;) .

Take care :thumbsup: . Hopefully we'll see you back :) .

[Amelie]

This might not be correct in your case but there is something known as Forum overload. I have been on forums for some years and when a new person comes to the site they get a bit overwhelmed with things. So much info is thrust into their lives that it might be a bit much to handle all at once.

Take time to think things through. There is no one way to live this life style. Find what is best for you then come back when and if you feel you want to.

Just take care and be happy.

[SometimesKairi]

Just my opinion but it seems like taking care of yourself can be part of being Kairi. The first things I did when I finally accepted who I am were things to make that person healthy and attractive (to me.) I never cared for my male character much -- as a result, he was grossly overweight; diabetic; poor skin tone and badly-kempt. When I found a me I cared about, I also cared about their appearance and overall health. You don't have to give up one for the other. Sure, you might redirect your spending, but it's not really taking a break, it's just taking care of yourself. ;)

Thanks as always Pat :) you're a great person.
There's no doubt I express many sterotypically female characteristics. For example, there's a dog tied up outside the shop I am working in. The owner has gone shopping. The dog is old and completely knackered. He wants to be excited to see people but he's too worn out. His face and eyes say play with me but his body says 'sorry pal' so he gave up and collapsed on the floor instead of laying down. He's fine, just worn down.
I am fighting back tears hard. Like really freaking hard.
That's so not a guy thing

Massive digression. Sorry.

Taking care of me is taking care of me. Kairi and Paul.

- - - Updated - - -


This might not be correct in your case but there is something known as Forum overload. I have been on forums for some years and when a new person comes to the site they get a bit overwhelmed with things. So much info is thrust into their lives that it might be a bit much to handle all at once.

Take time to think things through. There is no one way to live this life style. Find what is best for you then come back when and if you feel you want to.

Just take care and be happy.

That can happen indeed. The very real fact that me fully crossdressing made me question my gender and the huge amount of data and info thrown at me is overwhelming.
Especially when its almost a sudden revelation that everything you have just accepted may not be true. I mean wow, what a mind ****

[Tama]

There's no doubt I express many sterotypically female characteristics. For example, there's a dog tied up outside the shop I am working in. The owner has gone shopping. The dog is old and completely knackered. He wants to be excited to see people but he's too worn out. His face and eyes say play with me but his body says 'sorry pal' so he gave up and collapsed on the floor instead of laying down. He's fine, just worn down.
I am fighting back tears hard. Like really freaking hard.
That's so not a guy thing


I may not agree with that... I worked with abused/abandoned animals for years, far worse than you've described and I was driven to tears many many times..definitely not a female-only thing to me...just feeling is a good thing I'm certain
In any case, your friends shall be here when you return

[SometimesKairi]

Hi Tama. This dog wasn't abused just old and worn out. Totally white muzzle.
Course guys can get upset by this but it isn't seen as a masculine trait. A man is supposed to not get emotional about anything. Well maybe he can cry at the funeral of his brother but crying at an old dog? Gods no! Haha

[Tama]

Maybe my example wasn't phrased correctly. I have seen all manner of old, unwanted, worn out or just generally sad looking creatures, from horses to dogs and I have likely shed buckets over the years for many of them...right in their fur sometimes...so no, I still don't agree.. I know other men who have cried on this type of thing so I still say you've nothing to worry on

[SometimesKairi]

Ah I'm not worried girl :) I think I am a bit past the whole gender is THIS haha

And you're right, some men will cry over such a thing. Surely its just a chemical reaction in the brain that says 'cry at this' but what I mean is -

In society (or at least the UK) a man isn't meant to cry over such a thing. It's 'weak' and being seen as 'weak' is a bad thing for a man.
A female crying over such a thing is 'emotionally balanced or tender' which are hugely beneficial for a woman in society.

[Tama]

There is a similar situation that takes place in the US also. It's just that I don't take well to such an affront to my vulnerabilities. I would probably have something to say in an instant such as that... I would not be proud of it but, I would not be able to let it pass...

[Dana44]

Take care of yourself Kari, Stop all of the bad stuff and eat well. You will get better and be happier. You can make it a mantra.. It should not matter whether you are Kari or Paul., live well and all good things will come to you.

[Stephanie47]

It does not matter where a person is on any gender scale. You're describing any person who has a sudden revelation that he or she is not taking care of the physical body. There is a natural aging process that will not be reversed. However, there are things that you can control. You essentially enumerated them in your post. Remember at the end of the day there will not be things you can control. Your genetic makeup is your genetic makeup. Like any woman you're going to mature. You're not going to be a teenager. I'm going to be 70 this year. I don't know what a body is suppose to feel like at 70 since I'm just getting there. I accept that. I do look around and see way too many men and women who have totally neglected things under their control. Many of the physical problems you have identified are correctable.

It may be beneficial for you to have an annual checkup to identify any underlying physical issue that need attention. Physical and mental health do go hand in hand. Personally, I also do not think doing anything "cold turkey" is a good thing. Maybe you do not need to "Keep up with the Jones" when reviewing the postings on this site.

[SometimesKairi]

You lot really are lovely. Brings a tear to my eye.
Been on a lot of forums over the years but none actually seem to give a toss haha

I think I need to clarify though.
I ain't particularly leaving the forum, I won't be posting new photos or starting threads but I will still be here encouraging everyone.

Haha as a side note, nobody can remember Kairi.
That's okay. It's from a computer game and I know a lot of people here are a bit older and quite unlikely to be playing Disney games lol :)

- - - Updated - - -


It does not matter where a person is on any gender scale. You're describing any person who has a sudden revelation that he or she is not taking care of the physical body. There is a natural aging process that will not be reversed. However, there are things that you can control. You essentially enumerated them in your post. Remember at the end of the day there will not be things you can control. Your genetic makeup is your genetic makeup. Like any woman you're going to mature. You're not going to be a teenager. I'm going to be 70 this year. I don't know what a body is suppose to feel like at 70 since I'm just getting there. I accept that. I do look around and see way too many men and women who have totally neglected things under their control. Many of the physical problems you have identified are correctable.

It may be beneficial for you to have an annual checkup to identify any underlying physical issue that need attention. Physical and mental health do go hand in hand. Personally, I also do not think doing anything "cold turkey" is a good thing. Maybe you do not need to "Keep up with the Jones" when reviewing the postings on this site.

Hi Steph :) first time I think I have seen you posting :) (7000 posts says otherwise haha)
I think I see what you are saying. Work with what you have because that is what you have
Yeah I know babe.

I have high self esteem and low self confidence so I have a natural ego. I HAVE to be pretty or interesting or something.

I can fix most of my physical problems....if I had the cash.
Botox is expensive, rhinoplasty is £3000 and teeth...holy hell I could be paying them till I die and after.
The weight I can lose easy. I'm not big particularly but could lose 10kg and look okay.

My internal mind says stay with the Jones's no matter what. I am too scared to strike out on my own and be my own man/woman/person.

Maybe the wine has gone to my head. I am rambling