I'm a bad person.

[Allisa]

Sometimes I think I am just being cruel. Lets start with me working in the flower beds and potting my tomatoes and peppers and putting in some mums of varying colors. Now I wear jeans and just a "t" shirt(both woman's)and a pair of cloth clog like shoes getting dirty and ugly nails. Well all the neighbors are out mowing lawns and stuff that people do on the weekend, they all know me and about me i.e. the guy who dresses in woman's clothes. Now I am not ashamed or feel guilty about being me but I try to be thoughtful and respectful of others feelings and not force my dressing on them or put it in their faces so to speak. Now I express my femme self from casual to dressy and out and about all the time just living my life.It's just that no one will talk to me unless I'm dressed as my male self, which is really starting to P.M.O., so I decided to throw it in their faces with their kids out playing and all, so after cleaning up I donned a "v" necked "T" and my black with bold white stripe maxi skirt and my gladiator type sandals so my candy apple red toenails showed like a beacon and took "Buddy the attack pug" for a walk. He really draws the attention of the kids, they love him and come over to pet him, not one seemed affected by my clothes, yet I know their parents were having fits, just the effect I wanted. Was this an act of cruelty on my part? I mean it was a conscience and deliberate act on my part to upset the apple cart. But sometimes I get so frustrated.

[Jean 103]

How about just going out and making new friends as your female self. It works for me.

[mykell]

umm i know you must be frustrated by it, especially since the guys used to ask for help with theyre projects and all but maybe your better off, now you have time to get all your gardening done, no distractions from un-neighborly projects.....just free time to to get girlie'd up to take your favorite domesticated attack pug out for a educational hike while educating the local youth about tolerance....:D

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lisa :hugs:, I just saw a flat bed tractor and trailer heading NORTH on I-95
loaded with Tar, Feathers & Pitch Forks possibility heading toward Berlin NJ. Keep us advised...:daydreaming:...

[CynthiaD]

You're a bad person because you took your dog for a walk? That doesn't seem bad to me. If other people want to react badly to it, that's their problem, no yours.

[Lana Mae]

You are not bad, Lisa! You have the right to dress as you like as long as it is not indecent! You also have the right to walk the attack Pug! If the neighbors do not like it I am sure you will find out eventually! Hugs Lana Mae Watch out for the tar, feathers and pitchforks going up I-95! LOL

[Jaylyn]

Allisa I wouldn't worry about it. You are already out there it seems. I think lots of people are still uncomfortable around a CD. It makes them feel they must not be represented or seen with one, much less talk to them. I'm thinking maybe they believe if they are associated with a CD then they will be judged by their neighbors as accepting or even being one themselves. I know in West Texas it would be a night mare to be seen as one or if talking to a CD might ruin their reputation also. I just think they don't know how how cool we really are yet.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Lisa, You have to consider your motives. When people do things to expressly piss someone else off, they usually achieve their goal. You can change peoples minds by being the best neighbor you can be. As far as dressing, If this is how you want to dress, just dress the way you want. As the kids have shown, they don't care, you may find it take a long time for the parents to come around.

[Dana44]

I don't think that walking your dog make them upset. Try taking to them and make friends as your feminine self. They know you and probably don't know that you want to talk.

[redtea]

mmm gladiator sandals :daydreaming:

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Allisa,
Malicious crossdressing???
Completely unheard of, until now!

I'm sure Buddy and I would agree
that you're not a bad person.
Much Love,
Kristyn

[MelanieAnne]

Like they say, "If you go looking for trouble, you can usually find it". If your neighbors generally ignore you when you are dressed, what is the problem?

I mean it was a conscience and deliberate act on my part to upset the apple cart. But sometimes I get so frustrated.
What are you frustrated about, if your neighbors leave you alone? You clearly want to flaunt your crossdressing in their faces and get a reaction!


I donned a "v" necked "T" and my black with bold white stripe maxi skirt and my gladiator type sandals so my candy apple red toenails showed like a beacon and took "Buddy the attack pug" for a walk. He really draws the attention of the kids, they love him and come over to pet him, not one seemed affected by my clothes, yet I know their parents were having fits, just the effect I wanted.

You are clearly looking for trouble. And taking the dog for a walk while dressed, specifically to attract the neighbors kids to you, and give their parents fits, isn't going to end well for you! Flaunting your crossdressing in front of their kids is guaranteed to get a reaction, and probably one you won't like. And you are not helping the cause of crossdressers by deliberately provoking your neighbors! :brolleyes:

[Allisa]

Maybe I should clarify, the neighbors all asked for favors, borrow tools, help out on projects of theirs, then when they "found out" about me and confronted me since then it's as if I don't exist after at least a decade of knowing me. That is what irks me, they know the person that I am and even more so now that I'm out to them. I just don't understand how they can make my self expression(clothing and some physical traits) an issue, I'm still who I am, even happier and all around nicer.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Allisa;


You are of age and presumably your neighbors are too , that change does not come easy. Give them time, show yourself to be the same person you always were.
Our community , the people here go through this when out to frieds,family and neighbors. Realistically if you cannot live with them, consider moving or you may have to just learn to live with it.

It's hard hon, Maybe writing a letter to those who you feel closest to ?

[MelanieAnne]

You have no idea how angry your neighbors can get when they perceive you dragging their kids into your crossdressing. They aren't making your crossdressing an issue. You are. They leave you alone. That's the best you can hope for. You cannot force them to accept your crossdressing. We don't live in a perfect world. You are playing with fire, maybe dynamite, trying to attract their kids to your cause!

[paulaprimo]

i don't see anything wrong with what you did. if there is a problem, it's theirs and not yours.
like you said, you're living your life and happier than ever. keep up the good work! :)

[Paula2]

Been thru the same thing.. Put a roof on one of my neighbors house for free.. Found out about me and they will not talk to me anymore.. Replaced a water heater in another neighbors home and we are best friends.. Some people will never accept what we do or how we live..Others will.. What do you hope to prove?? Walking your dog to provoke the parents by using children?? How will that help you gain acceptance? Will that make you a better neighbor?? IDK That's your choice..

[Teresa]

Lisa,
I was talking to a CDer about this subject, she didn't want this situation to happen when she finally dressed outside so she invited all her neighbours in for a drink . She said it went very well, a few of the regular questions were asked and everyone appeared happy by the ebdof the evening. They may or may not always speak to her some days but at least she doesn't get the situation where they they only speak in drab mode .

I guess the way you did it could leave you open to kids calling you names and the parents backing them up, if you had approached the adults the chances of that happening may be less.

This was something I was seriously thinking about if my separation had happened , I intended to grasp the nettle from the start , introduce myself and explain why they may see dressed. Hopefully I could have nipped most problems in the bud, OK it may have been slightly wishful thinking but with the plan to go full time it felt like the most sensible way to go.

[docrobbysherry]

Sounds like a great way to get irritating neighbors to leave u alone!:thumbsup:

I used to have a next door neighbor that talked my ear off which she caught me outside.:doh:
We had a tiff about something and she ignored me for 5 months. Best 5 months in the 10 years I lived there!:D

[Vickie_CDTV]

Being around their kids when you know the parents don't like it is asking for trouble. Just a bad, bad idea all around, for many reasons.

Maybe it is a cultural thing. I live about 4 hours northwest of NYC and I have never even spoken to most of my neighbors. Most people keep to themselves, and don't care what their neighbors do one way or another.

[mechamoose]

and potting my tomatoes and peppers and putting in some mums of varying colors.

You HUSSY!

We all know that a right thinking girl would only plant Mums of a single color!

Dammit, just enjoy life and not ask so many critical questions of yourself. You have the right to wear (hussy) candy-apple red toes. I *love* painting my toes (but I'm a hussy).

Just set into it and enjoy it, seriously. If that is who you are, then that is who you are.

You hussy.

}:>

- MM

[Kelly DeWinter]

Vicky;

I cannot disagree with you more ( no offense intended). We as a community cannot feed into the false premise of the stereotype predator/murder out to prey on the world falsely perpetrated by Hollywood and the news. Is there a risk that someone won't like you? yes , but when people including kids approach you in broad daylight, you have a right to socially interact with people without fear of being stigmatized.

If this were the case, then I'd lead a hate group against people who wear flannel shirts (I cannot begin to describe how immoral,unsightly and decrepit flannel is :) ).

[Karen RHT]

The words from a song..."There are none so blind, as those who will not see..." come to mind Allisa. Your choice of clothing "offends" their "moral compass," their sense of what is correct, right, proper, choose whatever word you will. What you've done for them in the past is conveniently forgotten. They don't see that person walking your dog; they see a weirdo, pervert, sicko, who should be ashamed of themselves.

I'm not suggesting you stop what you're doing for a moment. Only attempting a likely explanation for their reactions to Allisa.


Karen

[Tracii G]

Lisa I understand what you are getting at because I am the neighborhood tranny as well.
I had one neighbor guy tell me when I see you dressed like a woman I don't see the guy I know that lives in that house.
That is why he wouldn't talk to me the same way as when I was in guy mode.
That comment made me think and I realized it was up to me to interact with them in both modes as often as I could with out being an obnoxious neighbor of course.
It took 2 years for some to understand I was the same person no matter how I was dressed.
We used to have block parties in the fall or neighborhood yard sales in the summer so that was when I would try to interact more with them.
Some others thought I was married to the guy that lived in house and didn't realize I was the same person.
There is no patent answer to any of this but I wish there was.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Kelly, it is the issue with the kids, not the adults I'd worry about. Even if someone is a cis person, talking to other peoples' children when they don't like it is a bad idea. It is sad it is that way, but in this day and age, peoples' claws come out when it comes to a "stranger" talking to their kids. If the parents don't want another adult talking to their kids, it is best to just not do it.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Vicki I understand the current phobia surrounding kids, and I agree with you that no one should approach kids when their parents are not present. That said you cannot prevent kids from approaching you. Tracii has the best approach, Just be your kind self.

[Allisa]

O.K. people, I walk my dog in the public street every day as I always have, their children come over to talk and pet Buddy and if they don't want them to, they should tell them. I'm not going to be ignorant to kids. They don't mind them coming to my house for Halloween or selling cookies and the like, but wear a dress in public and you no longer exist. They may want me to disappear or move but after 30 yrs. living in my home I'm not going anywhere and now more "public" dressing is on it's way. If your going to ignore me than ignore the "male" me also and find another "helping hand". Sorry about the rant but some things just stick in my craw.

[Tracii G]

I know just how you feel. You do what feels normal for you .
The neighbors just have to get over it.
I am never rude to my neighbors kids and we all get along just fine.

[Rogina B]

As I view it,"It" is a freedom of expression issue rather than a gender thing. Your choice of dress is eclectic. Kids enjoy a good show and their parents are annoyed that you are "out of THEIR norm". They don't know why you are that way,so they take the easy route and ignore you. If "gender issues" are important for you to satisfy,then I don't think you are going about it in the best way. Clash of the "Jersey attitudes" is the way I describe it. You aren't going to be accepted as a Transgender person by your neighbors,anytime soon.

[AllieSF]

You are doing nothing bad. Just keep living your life as you want and need to. The kids will be much better for it now and in the future.