Just sharing about meeting admirers.

[Alice Torn]

For a year or more, i had been emailing one admirer, about 100 miles from me. He was pretty sure that he wanted me, kind of as a wife, to him, be "his woman:, at times. I decided not to meet hem, as i many times told him, just no strings attached, maybe friends. Last march, he agreed to meet me just as a friend, and no penetration sex. Well, i drove up there, was almost an hour late, because of getting lost, and heavy traffic. We met at a fast foof parking lot, and i followed him to his house. I apologized for being late. He was not very nice, to tell the truth, though he did not try to force me beyond my stated boundries. He was quite harsh. I left, and decided i would not meet him again. My vehicle had trouble on the way back, but it crawled all the way home. Another man, i have emailed with for a few years off and on, about 100 miles away. I had thought of meeting him many times, and when "pink fog" hit hard last week, i decided to go meet, this week. But, the "fog" lifted, and i reconsidered. He has never been willing to send a photo of himself, ever! He has never shared anything about himself, ever. So, a few days ago, i apologized for "leading him on, and told him, i won't met him, because i really know nothing about him, and never a photo. He was not happy. I told him, i have my mental and emotional health issues, too, and i don't know him from Adam. I did my best to apologize. The man side of me, was fighting against going, too. Anyway, he's ticked off. I ignore his emails now. Caution is always best. Thought, i had met two other men, in seven years, that were gentlmen, these last two were less than nice. All i can d=say, is be VERY cautious, when meeting a person who won.t give a photo, or who ever. Some are gentlemen,. Some are creepy. I am considering not meeting any more. My guy side fights it, too.

[Micki_Finn]

Good thing you didn't meet that guy! That sounds like giant red flags to me. I personally am a little put off by "admirers". I've been hit on by a few, and all they ever seem to care about is their porn-tinted vision of what CDs/Trans women are like, and getting you into bed. But then again I tend to be really picky with men (Hey, when you know all the tricks already...)

[jennifer0918]

Amazing how these guys behave and forget how to treat a lady.

[Lana Mae]

Not very good admirers when they act like that! Sorry to hear about your little episodes, but glad it all worked out OK! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stephanie47]

For those who are considering meeting such "admirers" please confide in a friend or leave some note at home in case something really evil happens. It's no different than a young woman going out on a blind date and then something goes wrong. Alice, I hope you have blocked that email address.

[Alice Torn]

Yes, good advice. I really would still like to meet a GG. I really do not find men very attractive, but when all dolled up, think differently, than i do as a man. Jekyl and Hyde like.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Meeting someone alone in a private setting for the first time is always a really bad idea. Good thing nothing happened when you went to that guy's house, beyond some cruel words. You really should let someone know where you are going, as someone already said. And for goodness' sake, meet them in person for the first time in a public place.

I had a GG friend many years ago who went to meet a man in a similar situation. She was raped. Food for thought.

[Diane Taylor]

Thank goodness nothing really bad happened to you when you went to that "admirers" house. I've always felt that the term "admirer" is just a candy coated way to describe a guy who just wants sex with a CD. If sex is your thing, no problem but if you're not into sex with guys stay away from the "admirers. Just my opinion though.

[LaurenDeHart]

First of all, I am so glad to hear that you are OK.

Vickie pretty much said what I was thinking. Everyone, regardless of gender and preference, needs to be really careful with this whole internet/email hookup thing. Even on the established dating sites one never really knows how much truth there is in the advertising. I understand the fog but if you have any reservations trust your instincts; if you have little factual information wait until that can be obtained and verified. Possibly come to the forums beforehand to bounce it around. There are many good minds here that can offer advice and suggestions.

Lauren

[Alice Torn]

Diane, and Lauren, Good advice. Very good advice. i THINK I WILL DROP ANY MORE MEETING "ADMIRERS". A lot of men are extremely sexually frustrated in this time we are in. A lot of GG's simply do not want men, or sex, anymore with men, and the creepy men are looking for anything they can get! BE YE VERY CAREFUL.

[CONSUELO]

Be very wary.

[Jenny22]

Alice, you've been a forum member for 11 years, but your bio / profile is void of information, otherwise. Those forum sisters who feel needs as you do may be very close, but without better location info, you and they will never know. Just sayin'.

[Alice Torn]

Jenny, i was off for six months. I am only a part time CD. I have a lot of conflict about my male side, and my once in a while lady side. I have no desire to be with a man, when i guy mode. It is only when i am in the pink fog, that i feel i would want to model my dresses, and dance, for a man. i aqm hoping i have learned my lesson, and no longer seek to meet an admirer. I have boundries, which do not allow for penetration sex. My male side wants to totally stop any desire to meet a man. I hope to stop all personal ads. i did, however spell it out what i will not do, making it very clear, that i would not do some things. Now, my guy side feels ashamed of it all. I hope to limit my dressing to the closet, or just going for a walk in a park, mall, safe place or to a classical concert. My lady side is quite vain, and likes attention a bit too much. I will set limets on myself. I only dresws about 2 to 5 times a month. I like doing my guy blue collar things like fishing, fixing my vehicle, bicycle riding. My dressing has caused a lot of isolation, and i am hoping to keep it under control.

[Dana44]

Indeed be careful. Alice. Going alone like that is hard as you don't really now him. I am glad you was able to leave and not talk to him anymore.

[Danitgirl1]

It saddens me that you are ashamed of your femnine side (whether that be the expression of your fem character or what you seem to see as a more fem sexuality). I wish we could all be free to be and express ourselves in any way without shame. Genetic women should feel no shame expressing their sexuality. Transwomen should feel no shame expressing their sexuality. Nobody should feel shame expressing themselves.
We need to shake off these sicietal shackles that dictate what s xual abd gender xpressuons are ok abd what are shameful...