Those random daily thoughts...

[Tamsin Secret]

Hi all,

So I just thought I would put into text one of the random​ thoughts and questions that popped into my head today.

For those who don't know I'm a married in the closet CD with little experience in anything other than a quick sneaky dress up when noone else is around. Ive just added a wig and make up and have been out fleetingly twice.

On my travels home tonight I was caught in a que of traffic and walking by was (from behind) a rather attractive looking female.
I naturally wanted to see what she looked like but then thought I wonder who else was looking at her and for as far as I could see in front and behind necks were bent taking a look.
She was minding her own business (she was attractive btw) and didn't show any interest in who was looking at her. I imagine she must get it quite a lot.
Anyhow it made me think about when I have, or will, venture out in future... I think I have a nice figure (be nice now!) but would now be so self conscious as realise that people have natural curiosity and unfortunately, no matter how hard I may try, I'm never going to look as good or convincing (from the front at least).

To be fair the likley hood of me walking around next to a busy road in broad daylight is slim but it did make me think about where I would be comfortable without putting myself at undue risk.

Its so contradictory as I want to go out to be seen.... just for acceptance I suppose but the thought of negative response, maybe, would be enough for me to completely implode in all aspects of my life.

Why put myself through it you may ask? If I had the answer I wouldn't be writing this 😉

Thanks for reading,

Miss S x

[AllieSF]

Interesting thoughts. Once we don our gay apparel we enter the world of GG's (from behind, sides and even from the front views. We get to participate temporarily in their everyday world and lives to an extent. As us who enter their side of life we just need to do it as they do, heads held high, owning the moment and place and also be respectful of those around us. We also need to be more careful when out as a woman, than we normally would when in male mode. There is no need to be ashamed for what we do and how we present. Good luck and enjoy.

[DIANEF]

Hi Miss S, I'm fairly new to the going out game, at first I thought, why am I doing this?,everyone is looking at me. But, so far, the reaction has been zero, I'm not saying I won't get clocked sooner or later, but I now feel confident enough to deal with it. I have a decent enough (for a guy) figure, quite slim, long blonde hair, nice clothes so I am sure some people must at least glance in my direction. I once was terrified at the idea of venturing out, not anymore, you can do it too. .

[Tamsin Secret]

Allie, So right about experiencing their side of life for a while. I'm sure that is much of the allure. I'm not ashamed, just anxious and emotional regarding acceptance which I know to be true in my male mode also.

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Hi Diane,

Need to perfect make up before I try again. Both outings have been brief and under the cover of rain (umbrellas are wonderful!) It was exhilarating and I will never forget it. Just want more now but time is never on my side!

[sometimes_miss]

Don't forget, most women are self conscious about not 'measuring up' to that elusive, impossible standard they think of. Even the supermodels find fault in themselves. There will always be some who don't think you are pretty enough. Don't let it bother you. If you're willing to risk the potential problems of being out, then go out there and enjoy yourself.

[Leslie Mary S]

MissS if that is really you in your avatar, then you have nothing to fear. you are a show stopper in your own right.
Now the hard part begins, learning to walk, talk, move, and think like a woman.
Things like; how you carry your arms when standing or walking. I know you can do it. This Hippo in a Pink Tutu almost has it down.
If you look like me I can understand that too.
We with the generous curves in the wrong place, and flawed face have our work cut out.

[Tamsin Secret]

Lexi, the issue with me is that, while I'm dressed, I think I could deal with the negativity towards my looks I just think it would hurt if those negatives were 'errrgh it's a man in a dress' rather than 'Wow she looks better from behind'!

I'm a realist, I know the former is more likely, I suppose I'm just not ready for that yet.

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Leslie Mary, It is me! :battingeyelashes:

I think I walk well, filmed and watched myself back. I tend to 'pose' when standing still as it gives placement for my hands. (See pic).

As for talking well I would be mute!

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And as for how you look from the pic in your avatar you look beautiful. You embrace yourself which is experience and joy I need to learn from. X

[SometimesKairi]

Generally men look at women. ALL women.
So you will be looked at for sure.

It's how you deal with that :)