Cloudy with a chance of pink fog

[Sometimes Steffi]

Yesterday my wife and I planned to go to a talk on aging.

She was in the bathroom putting on her makeup when I got up and I rolled over to check the time on the alarm clock. Oh, no. I need to get up in a hurry to put my makeup on. Then I realized that this was not a femme day, certainly not with my wife. I rolled over for a few more minutes. All I had to do was a quick shower, brush my teeth and put on my jeans.

When we got to the talk, there was a woman wearing the exact same top as I have, except in red. I almost told her that! Twice!

I guess you can tell where my brain was yesterday.

[anna kate]

Yup, definitely not on aging !!! At my age, I don't need to get reminded of how old I am. Much rather like to look at and enjoy the youth around me...

[stephanie2000]

I have long been waiting to post to this forum and thread...Well not that long actually - just the waiting period for account verification. But that seemed to take a long time to me. :-)
I never knew what the pink fog was until I joined this forum. I just thought there was something wrong with me. I would acquire all these very nice things only to feel conflicted about it and secretly dispose of them in the trash (oh of all the worst things you can do with clothes of any kind). Months would go buy and something would overwhelm me and I would be back at the mall or someplace else
looking to replace the items. I would give anything to have them all back now. I don't fight the fog as much now, but having just replaced a bunch of sexy undergarments with new things about 3-4 weeks ago, the fog is wearing off and I'm starting to worry that I will purge again. I really hate this feeling..I mean I love the fog, but hate the aftermath. Glad this forum is here.

[sweetdreams]

Hi Steph.

Don't purge. At worst just pack your things away for a while. Purging is mostly a waste of time and money. Your urges will very likely return. It will be nice to have your things waiting for you.

I think if you work on self acceptance the need to purge will go away. You are who you are - a crossdresser. Own it. You need to have pretty feminine things. They are precious to you. Get used to it. It's OK to be you. No need for guilt or shame.

[GretchenM]

Aging does a lot of things to our bodies. The masculinity we often felt in youth dwindles as hormones change and shift around. And by the way, a male's testosterone is supposed to decline with age. Not good to mess with it unless it is too low for your age. With that decline we often sense shifts in our gender feelings and there seems to be some link between that and an increasing desire to identify as female/feminine in some older men. There is more to these desires than just hormonal shift; the shift may just be a contributing factor. Doesn't happen as much to women because the male is more of differentiated female and the female is closer to the basic form. But some women also experience stronger masculine feelings. If you, like me, are one of those that become more often feminine feeling as you age don't fight it. Enjoy it. Unfortunately, wives often don't understand those needs and that is because they don't usually experience that.

Purging can be a real mistake. You may think the behavior has gone away and it was just something like a bad habit. It's not. It is a fundamental part of you whether it comes and goes or is constant. Purge only things that don't fit anymore or just aren't your style preference. Everything else should go into a storage bin because you WILL need it in the future. If the desire never comes back then no harm done with it in storage, but in my experience with myself, others, and with reading many posts here, going away and staying away is not something these feelings and desires do very often. They don't necessarily increase in intensity; but going away permanently seems to be pretty unusual. Purging is like denying something essential about yourself and is a real good way to drive yourself into some mild depression. It is not recommended.

[Lana Mae]

Yes, I am feeling all those aging things, too! A coworker noticed my clear polish on my fingernails and asked! I told her about my breaking nails! She asked if there was polish on my toenails and I almost said, " Yes, red." but I didn't!
Stephanie,DO NOT PURGE! If I have learned one thing it is do not purge! Put things in storage to be there when it comes back around! The desire may get less but does not go away forever! This is part of you and part of your life! Accept it and enjoy the journey! Hugs Lana Mae