Am I too old to feel this way?

[Misty2215]

Wow how quickly life has passed by...here I am about turn 60 and all of those feelings I had when I was younger are starting to come back. I find myself browsing through fashion mags and just thinking about what it would be like to try on some of those beautiful things....I come in my office in the morning and before everyone shows up I take the opportunity to put on some lipstick...my favorite shade is Pink in the Afternoon and just enjoy myself for a bit before reality strikes and I have to get back to the everyday mundane world I live in. I want so bad to let this other side of me out but it's not easy. Just the other day I finally did something for myself and ordered a nice pair of heels again for me to wear around the office when I can....you may ask why the office well because I could never do this at home...my wife would not understand...yes I have tried to talk to her about it but to no avail so life goes on and while my desires grow inside I keep trying to suppress them over and over again...what am I to do...I envy all of you who can dress and just be yourselves....maybe one day!

[Teresa]

Misty,
Never say never !
I have 6 years on you and never thought I would be going out dressed , it's only just happened in a little over a year so don't despair those heels and anything else you buy may come in for more use than a few minutes around the office . My wife doesn't choose to see me but accepts now I need to go out and meet others socially. She knows I'm safe enough and most of her fears aren't justified. The point is your feelings aren't going away so eventually you will have to find ways to achieve it. I accept I live a double life being in a DADT situation but that's how it is , my wife knows I enjoy it now after so many years of tearing me apart. Like most you will have to find ways to talk to your wife, it's your life too ,you should be able to live it .

Believe me we are never too old !!

[Misty2215]

Hi Teresa thanks for taking the time to drop me a note. I very much enjoyed hearing from you. Listening to what you had to say does give me a bit of hope that maybe one day I will be able to be the women I would love to be and to just let myself go. I know something will have to give soon so I will hang in there and continue being the beautiful woman I am inside and one day she will come shining through. Yes not to worry I don't plan on stopping my daily routine of that few minutes of enjoyment each day...I just hope it turns in to more. Stay sweet dear and beautiful! You look great! Cheers Misty

[Shely]

well i was 60 some years ago and age is not an issue, it won't go away. I also would love the opportunity to go out and just last week walked across the street to the mail box dressed to the 9999s. My knows and acquesses i guess you could say, but want' nothing to so with it. I don't know where this will end up and i wonder about my 70s and on how will i be able to do anything different. I surely want more in the way of dressing out, but don't see it happening untill my SO fully appreciates my desires to dress. Oh well right now it is DADT.:straightface:

[docrobbysherry]

Altho I don't understand it, Misty. I know a few T's who's SO's have passed. "Allowing" them to dress openly for the 1st time whenever they liked! I hope u will not have to live that way-----

[Misty2215]

Hi Shely how are you girl? Thanks for taking the time to drop me a note, which I appreciate so much. Seems we do have some things in common but at least you have been able to explore that side of you a little more while I am still in the infant stages...haha INFANT stages at almost 60yo...go figure...
Anyway thanks again for being so sweet. I wish you all the best in your journey and remember little steps are fine because they add up to bigger steps down the road...by the way dear what is DADT...:)

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Hi nice profile pic dear...thanks for the reply...I also hope that it does not come to that....I just want Misty to be free the be herself wherever that leads...:)

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Hi nice profile pic dear...thanks for the reply...I also hope that it does not come to that....I just want Misty to be free the be herself wherever that leads...

[Lana Mae]

I am 65 and just came to realize I am a crossdressser not quite 2 years ago! Late for the party! Take it as it comes! You are on a journey enjoy! Hugs Lana Mae

[Misty2215]

Hi Lana Mae thanks for the words of encouragement....I hope my real journey begins soon...I am definitely not giving up hope, but I remain cautiously optimistic.

[Jaymees22]

I really didn't start dressing a lot until 5 years ago when I was 67, so I think better late than never. You're so young only 60!!

[Misty2215]

Wow and you look so young and pretty dear...good for you...better late than never sounds good to me...:) not 60 yet dear but it is just around the corner...:)

[Sometimes Steffi]

Misty

I am 4 years older than you, and it hit me like a bus about 10 years ago. The first crossdresser I ever met FtF was from this forum.

It's not like I haven't been dressing since I was a teenager, but it wasn't until 10 years ago that I was into full on crossdressing, even breaking the out-of-the house glass wall.

I would love to go back to my 20s for a do-over, but I think we all forget how difficult it was to be different back then.

Besides my "Way Back Machine" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/WABAC_machine) is broken, so I'm stuck in the future.

[Aunt Kelly]

Hi, Misty.
First of all, no. Not too old. No such thing. Besides, getting older almost always beats the alternative.

Your story is a familiar one, as you are going to find out as you read and share here. So don't ever let age stop you from exploring this part of yourself.

Hugs,


Kelly Marie

[Misty2215]

Hi Steffi thanks for the note....nice to meet someone like yourself who is so content with who she is and proud to show it. I am kind of still waiting for the wall to fall so Misty can come out and play...I know it will happen one day but until then I remain a "woman" in waiting and a staunch admirer or ladies like yourself. By the way please let me know if you get your way back machine working because I would love to take a ride...but in all honesty girl you are right that it would have been a lot more difficult back then that's for sure...do you know I can remember like it ws yesterday the first time I went to a club in my early 20's to see a drag show and need les to say I fell head over heels in love....yup those were the days...:)

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Hi Kelly Marie thanks for the note....and you are so right I am beginning to see that I am not too old and life is way too short not to live it and just be the best person you can be...:)

[Sometimes Steffi]

Misty

Like Teresa, my wife doesn't care for my "hobby". She hasn't seen me dressed and doesn't want to see me dressed, even in a photo. If I waited for her OK, I'd still be in the closet.

I did get a little freedom for a while, because she was out of town a lot taking care of her parents. When she was home, I told a story about meeting some of the guys at a bar nearby, which was technically true. Eventually, I got tired of the lies and deception, and started asking "permission". While I usually got permission, there always seemed to be some sort of last minute panic that prohibited me from going. Since asking for permission wasn't getting me what I wanted and what I needed, I started telling her I was going out, and effectively asking for forgiveness.

So when I tell her I'm going out, all the wants to know is when I'm leaving and when I'm coming back. I'm not allowed to dress at home, so I've gotten adept at changing in bathrooms and in the car when necessary.

My daughter moved back home a couple of years ago and is living in the basement. My wife used to give me a midnight curfew. But then I figured out that my daughter doesn't have a curfew, but she's supposed to text us if she decides not to come home. So it turned out that I had a curfew and my daughter didn't, so I'm not quite so concerned about my curfew.

Now, I'm not advocating that you go out if you're not ready, but if you are ready, you should try to find a way to do it. It's just so amazing to be out and about.

[Misty2215]

Hi again Steffi, thanks for opening up a bit more about yourself for me. I have actually been thinking about doing something similar for a long time, to the point where I even thought about getting a small place where I could just be Misty, but then my wife is the type to really monitor my time and she is the jealous type so if I am not home at a certain time she starts looking for me if you know what I mean. I have put up with it for the longest time because I never had a reason not to since I never really had much of a life outside of home....don't get me wrong I love my home life but just wish I could be Misty once in a while...not just in my mind but also in the way I look...do you know I even grew a beard (but trimmed) just to somewhat make it more difficult for me to come out...I thought it would help keep everything inside but it has not done that....I am at the point now where if I could live as Misty full time I would that's how much I desire to be her....and that is why it hurts so much not to be....

[Tracii G]

If you feel you are too old then you are.
Its all about your attitude if you like dressing the do it and have fun.
Why people think as they get older they can't enjoy life makes no sense to me.
I'm 64 and not too old to have a good time.

[Misty2215]

That makes a lot of sense to me....thanks for the wake up call..I am definitely not too old to have a good time that's for sure!

[jennifer0918]

Rent a motel room and fully dress. Woman come in all ages,it's like a gg saying I'm too old to be a woman.

[Misty2215]

In my mind I know that age is just a number guess I just needed to be reassured that....I love all the thoughts and ideas everyone shared....The next time I am off on a business trip I will try to let Misty out more...it's a little more difficult since I am currently living and working in Asia but I will try...:)

[emma-louise]

I turn 60 in October just bought some knickers and a bra from M+S online i had to stop dressing for all sorts of reasons have not dressed in about 3 years, but i was missing dressing more then i thought hopefully if things work out i will buy some skirts and tops soon xx

[Kate Simmons]

Sometimes being yourself isn't easy but it's the best thing to be and worth the effort. :battingeyelashes::)

[Bobbi46]

No one is ever too old to do something it is how you feel within yourself and convention and all sorts of things around us. If you feel the need to dress then go with it be yourself, age does not come into it. If anything it gives me a better perspective of life and how I would like to dress and feel right in that mode of dress at any time. Just go with it and encompass your inner passions in dressing as I do.

[Fiona123]

Not to old at all. I'm 61, the desire to dress is as strong as ever. Congratulations on the new heels.

[Jaylyn]

Misty your not old yet. Getting older does beat the alternatives I guess except in rare instances were death would be better. I am almost 8 years older than you and am just now starting to really feel a few of those aches and pains associated with the day before activities where I thought I was still in my thirties or forties. Ever since a very small boy I have been fascinated with the female clothes, makeup, and the special treatment the GG got that us boys did not. now at my older age I'm starting to want it more than just sometimes like I did thru the middle years. I feel so relaxed in a dress, add makeup, heels and a few accessories and I can fall asleep in my recliner and really relax. Stress will be relieved, as if I don't give a hoot any more about money, aches or pains. There's something to it that has not fully been explained to me or my wife. It's hard aging and still fighting the every day grind. Maybe this is why those old men who dont find the relief somehow are called old grouches. I'm not happy that I can't be myself all the time but happy I do have a wife that lets me do little things into the dressing for the relaxing part. I wear my own panties nearly every day. I did a purge about a year ago and still regret it. I need to call the Glamour Boutique lady back and reorder a few things I had that I deeply miss to just be me.

[JeanTG]

Too old? No. Never. In fact I think it gets more intense as we age. I've tried a couple of times to put all my things away in a hard to reach place in the attic, and I end up reaching hard to get it all back down. I just hope I don't fall off the ladder when I get old and frail, going up and down the ladder!

Why it intensifies as we age I have no idea, perhaps declining testosterone levels are at least partly responsible, possibly because a pressure cooker can only contain so much pressure before bursting. Sometimes I wonder if this won't end up with a transition... either partial or full, necessarily very slow though. My wife also doesn't understand, it's more than DADT, it's DADT with a lot of resentment. Moreover it's gone from wearing articles of lingerie to going "most of the way", that is fully dressing with wig, makeup, shoes, jewellery, pantyhose. Last I looked I still have a penis so I can't say I've gone "all" of the way. I doubt it will ever come to that but sometimes I wonder...

Oddly, since I now dress fully, I find myself less drawn to really lacy, sexy lingerie and prefer comfortable bras and panties as everyday wear even when fully dressed. Like any other older GG who isn't trolling for a partner I guess. Probably the sexy lace before was to compensate for the fact that I would only underdress.

[Angie G]

If you can move your not too old Misty. just do what you can when you can. :hugs:
Angie

[Allisa]

I can't give advice on SO's or marriage but it seems to be a theme here about getting older and realizing that we have this need to express ourselves even more than ever as we age. I think once we live our lives and meet our responsibilities to the norms of society we need to express our "hidden" being and the urge is strong. I can only say for myself that once I said to heck with it I'm going to enjoy my femme self and yes at first the "fog" took over but than I found my niche in expression and now feel so much better and time to live my latter years un conflicted and enjoy being "myself". I've even found that I don't feel as old as I used to. I hope this helped.

[Vikky]

Misty

The short answer is you are not too old, not by a long way.
I have had CD feelings since teenage years but suppressed them as ‘wrong’ until a few years ago. On reaching 65 my wife and I did a senior gap year and had a wonderful year travelling after which I thought “Well if I don’t CD now I never will.” By then I knew a lot more about the ‘hobby’ and on forums like this I learned a lot. Gradually I built up a small wardrobe and found I liked dressing and wanted to do more. I told the SO who is not keen and thus I live in a DADT situation. However, my SO has donated a few items and sometimes buys things from charity shops and recently has let me spend nights in a separate bedroom dressed overnight (bra, forms, nightie etc).
I suggest you go for it before it is too late. I have never regretted it and am now 70.
Good luck
Vikky

[Dana44]

I am sixty six and still going strong on the fem side. In fact she is much more of me today and I appreciate her. The desire never goes away and the older we get it seems to give us more resolve.to be who we are.

[Jenny22]

When you stop enjoying the things that give you pleasure or stop having fun, THAT'S when you grow old! I know. I'm in my early 80s, and enjoying my girly self more than ever!!

[paulinescotlandcd]

I agree with the others here that if you can maybe it is time to get some stuff together and head off for a day in a hotel room playing dress up. As for your age I do not think you are too old as I hit the big 60 in October this year. Please folks no cards or flowers - just send money. Remember all you can do is try your best to look your best given the fact you are a bloke. To cheer you up, and at the risk of coming over a bit narcissistic here are a couple of pictures of a nearly 60 year old man in a couple of nice dresses. Now go get organised :)

[abby054]

Not to old at all. I'm 61, the desire to dress is as strong as ever. Congratulations on the new heels.

Also 61! The desire and the wardrobe are doing just fine.
~Abby

[Misty2215]

Wow ladies where do I start...Let me start by saying I am so so happy that I found this forum and that I took the first step of joining and sharing a bit about myself. I could never have imagined that there were so many ladies that not only are in the a similar boat as me, but more surprising they are willing to talk about themselves and even share some great pictures as Pauline did from beautiful Scotland. I have not been to Scotland yet but I have been to Ireland several times and in fact will be back there in July so I do know how beautiful that part of the world is and with you there makes it even better. Keep it up girl you look great. Thanks to the rest of you for helping me come to appreciate Misty more and what she brings to my life. Yes I have kept her buried inside of me for the longest time but she is still there and has been waiting patiently to come out and play! I guess things are a bit harder for me based on my background and the way I was raised. I sometimes think I first got married just to run away from Misty and some of the other thoughts and desires running through my mind. When I was a boy I remember trying on some of my mother's clothes and just admiring myself in the mirror and thinking how nice it felt...I somehow felt relief and happiness that to this day I cannot explain. When I got married I put all of that out of my mind and tried to convince myself that it was not who I really am and if I pursued that all I would do is hurt myself and my family so I ran and ran fast by going into the military and then pursuing a career in law enforcement. Hitting the gym on a daily basis and doing everything else I could to just get over it but I guess in the end nothing worked because she is still there...still whispering in my ear to let her out and enjoy her company! A lot of years have passed since then and over the past couple I have taken some babe steps...as most do at the beginning I bought some undergarments and hose then a little makeup (lipstick) as I mentioned earlier I grew a light beard just to hide Misty so I can't use too much other makeup at this time....I tend to dress in those things under my clothes while I am traveling on business and even go out with them....there were times when I was wearing them in the room as I ordered room service...not sure why but I think in the back of my mind I wanted to get caught or I wanted someone to know about Misty if that makes sense. I even remembered going into a couple of stores and bringing in dresses with mens clothes just to try them on...that was nice until one women called my attention and said you can leave the dresses here while you try things on and instead of taking the leap and saying they were for me I just left them....I know that I am getting stronger and that Misty is getting stronger and with everyone's help here I will be able to come to terms with everything...I now feel I am not too old but at the same time life is short so I need to make a move soon...thanks again ladies for all the thoughts and advice and more importantly letting me know that even if my SO is not on board with this I am still not alone...hugs and kisses to you all Misty! xoxo

[Sometimes Steffi]

Being able to travel is great.

While traveling:

I went shopping for the first time in decades, in Albuquerque
I tried on clothes, and found out no one cared, in many places
I met up with a group of girls in Houston (some from this forum)
I went for dinner and private shopping with a group of girls in Denver (some from this forum)
I got my first makeover in Houston
I went out to eat alone and with another girl, dressed, in Houston

One of my first interactions with an SA.

One funny story. I was in Sugarland, Houston, and I saw a pair of embroidered jeans in the display window. After getting up my courage, I went into the store.

Me (to SA): I'd like to look at those embroidered jeans in the display window

SA For your wife?

Me: Umm, no, (cough) (cough) for me.

SA: (Shocked silence) Umm, do you know what size you wear?

Me: Usually about a 12.

SA: Do you want to try them on?

Me: Yes, if I can.

She got me a 12 and a 14 (i guess she didn't believe me) and she brought me to a dressing room.

SA: Let me know if you need any help.

The 14 was huge on me, and even the 12 was too large. Then I looked at the price tag. $145.

I came out, as the SA was coming back to check on me.

SA: How did they fit.

Me: Even the 12s were too big.

SA: Well, let me get you a size 10.

Me: Umm, no thanks, they're really out of my budget.

SA: Starts explaining why they are so expensive.

Me: I didn't say that they weren't worth it, but I can't afford them.

It's funny. Once she figured out that I was a serious buyer, the only think on her mind was commission. The fact that I was a dude in full boy mode didn't matter.

[Karen RHT]

I can't give advice on SO's or marriage but it seems to be a theme here about getting older and realizing that we have this need to express ourselves even more than ever as we age. I think once we live our lives and meet our responsibilities to the norms of society we need to express our "hidden" being and the urge is strong. I can only say for myself that once I said to heck with it I'm going to enjoy my femme self and yes at first the "fog" took over but than I found my niche in expression and now feel so much better and time to live my latter years un conflicted and enjoy being "myself". I've even found that I don't feel as old as I used to. I hope this helped.

I'm with you Allisa. Tired of meeting the standards set by others; being defined and confined by those standards, especially the superfluous ones. Been there, done that. It's time to be me and enjoy.


Karen

[LeannS]

Hi Misty
DADT is don't ask don't tell
I am couple years older than you are and it is never to late to let your inner woman out and go play.
I could never go out in public as i am quite hairy lol and a mustache is one of those things my wife says don't touch
I am also in a dadt situation which is fine. so I go out for a drive when she's out of town.
Misty have a place to put your things that are safely put away from others. just a word of caution


Leann

[Misty2215]

Hi Leann thanks for the education...I see people using different acronyms here and I am easily getting lost...:) It seems you and I have something in common except for me it's a light beard that if I shaved off would cause a problem...when I first grew it out of trying to hide who I am inside she hated it but then it started to grow on her, especially after a received a few nice comments so getting ride of it now would be bad...but having said that I have thought of one day going to the barber and having him shave it off and just go home saying the barber made a mistake so I decided to have it all removed...just not brave enough yet...lol I guess it's not so much brave just my way of avoiding a confrontation...I do know what you mean about finding a nice place to put things away...right now in my office I have several pairs of panties, a few lipsticks and all of the other accessories needed like a mirror and a cute little bag to place my things in and of course a nice pair of red heels that I wear around the office on occasion...but even this scares me because I think one day someone might have to look for something in my office while I am gone and come across my stash...maybe I could explain most things, but the size 15 heels would be difficult...oh well the world I live in...lol

[CynthiaD]

No, you're not too old. In Texas we say "I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as quickly as I could." Some people just take a long time to get where they're going. Besides, when you get older, you start caring a lot less about what other people think. This makes it a lot easier just to be yourself.

Welcome to the party!

[Judy-Somthing]

I'm the big 60 I wish I had more time to dress.