For non-transitioners: Are you a woman, man, or both, or is it the clothes?

[Alice Torn]

This has probably been batted around many times on this forum, but i just wanted to see what y'all say. I think i am a male, with a fem side, AND I LOVE CERTAIN LADIIES' STYLES. Not all of their styles, though.

[Laurana]

Man.

For the most part my male/female clothes are very similar: jean, t-shirts, shorts, sandals and sneakers.

My demeanor doesn't change all that much when I put a bra, wig and makeup either.

[Lana Mae]

When boiled down-man! Feminine man in many aspects but have been a man for 65 years! Learning about myself slowly on the journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[Danitgirl1]

Probably a mix of both
But mostly woman like over 66% woman
That is where I feel happiest and most comfortable

[Alice Torn]

I am a strange combination of Batman Adam West/ Catwoman Julie Newmar Go figure. I just really like dresses, hose, and heels!

[Shannon michelle]

Man who likes to be feminine,but I really love the clothes.

[Rachael Leigh]

It took me sometime Alice to come up with an exact definition of this part of me but I finally think I understand I'm gender fluid, and I do put myself under the transgendered umbrella.
In many ways it is more then just the clothes because I just so enjoy expressing myself when dressed that's why I knew I just couldn't hide behind closed doors anymore and now I go out about twice a week en fem

[Alice Torn]

Leigh, Thanks for sharing this. I kind of feel that way, too. I greatly enjoy expressing the lady, when all dressed. Not at all when in man clothes. I believe men are very stifles, kind of straight jacketed, in dress, while with women, "the sky is the limit.". But, as a complex being, i also like to dress nice in guy things. But, when i am all dooled up, i really have an exhibitionist side, and on the rare times i do go out, as a super tall (over six footeight in heels) lady, it is such a thrill.

[barbara gordon]

John Wayne and Julie Newmar is a good combo.

for me its
mixed gender .

I can present as either masculine or feminine .
No matter which way I dress , I am still the same person inside . A little too much male and a little too much female to be exactly either . Its not to be confused as androgynous .
For outside appearance , if its male mode its all the way male and if its female mode its all the way female mode .

[AileenCD]

It's not about the clothes...they are more like a trigger and reminder. It doesn't take much, just a hint of lipstick sometimes, a reminder to myself that it's ok to be feminine. I'm a man with a strong feminine side.

In grammar school, the teachers would sometimes line up all the boys on one side and girls on the other, and with the slightest bit of dressing, like magic, I find myself transported to the girl's line, full of empathy and awareness of all the woman around me. I love being on the girls' side of the room, so I do things to remind me that I have a place there where I belong.

[Micki_Finn]

I thought half the reason most of us were here was because we don't conform to the gender binary.

[Ceera]

Well if money and health risks was no concern, and especially if I had started a lot younger, I might have gone the transition route and gone full female, and not been part of the group you're asking to reply. But starting in my 50's, and with no way to afford a full transition, and the health risks at my age, I've become resigned to just being a 'part time girl'. I seriously doubt transition is in my future, because I can't afford it and I'm not sure the health risks are worth it, at my age. If I was suddenly able to afford all the expenses, and had a Partner who would stay with me through transition and enjoy me as a full-time female, I might revise where I stand regarding my possible transition. But for now, I think I'll continue with a foot in each world. I don't think either my male or female aspects will be going away any time soon, and I don't tend to go for a fully-mixed, androgynous presentation.

I think that mentally, I have strong aspects of both gender identities. Clothes help mold the identity and reinforce it, but they are not the end goal or the trigger, for me.

I can, quite happily, operate in an entirely female mode, and my personality and actions are somewhat different than me as a male. I identify as female when I go out as a woman in public. The clothes are fun and pretty and help complete the illusion of a full transition, but more and more I find myself happy to present as female while wearing less dramatically feminine attire. When I started, it was 'skirts only' for me when I went out, unless the venue was very much not a 'skirts' kind of place. Now? I'm quite likely to go with just women's jeans and a nice blouse or even a t-shirt, like many of my lesbian lady friends choose to wear. I like lots of clothes and shoes for the same reason any lady does. They are pretty, they look good on me, and they give me a choice in my wardrobe.

Yet I can also quite happily exist as a male. I do tend to keep certain feminine traits, but it doesn't feel uncomfortable for me to be perceived as a male. And in male mode, that is what I am - a guy. Even if I am wearing women's jeans and sneakers and have women's panties on, if I am not presenting female, complete with boobs and long hair and makeup, I don't feel I am female

For me, it's like flipping a switch, and placing a different operator in change. It's still 'me', yet the rules and choices differ.

[Veronica53]

I like to think that I have the best of both worlds now.

[Dana44]

I am both. I love expressing my feminine side as well as the masculine side.

[~Joanne~]

I like to think that I have the best of both worlds now.

I'll agree with this statement, it's simple and needs no more explanation to it. :D

[Fiona123]

As I have said in many posts, I view myself as transgender. When I say that, I mean that I'm not cisgender & not totally female either, somewhere in between perhaps. I have not transitioned. I probably never will but who knows? Is it the clothes? Yes to a large degree. Dressing makes me happy. I really like being feminine. What more can I say?

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I'm a man and I've never had any doubts about that.

For me it's all about the clothes.

When I dress I want to be as feminine as possible.

[Teresa]

Alice,
First of all good to see you back, I hope life is getting better for you now .

For starters I still can't truthfully answer TS or not ( OK that may upset some that argue you either are or not and there's no in between ). So there's a male body with a female trait, the clothes don't affect that fact , but the female side is like any female with needs and the clothes fulfill that need . I want to be seen and accepted as a woman . Most of us adopt a style which we believe reflects our personality OK there may be other things going on there like a sexual element , male clothing doesn't do the same thing for many of us so we prefer to dress to show how we feel inside . I would prefer now to do that most of the time , it feels as natural as dressing male but with added bonuses .

[StephanieM]

I'm a hybrid, both man and woman.

[Tina_gm]

Neither, or both. Not really sure. Not one or the other, that's for sure.

[CynthiaD]

I'm a woman all the time, although I can fake being male when necessary.

[GeorgeA]

No femininity here: all male. I just like to wear clothes that are mostly worn by women and also by members of this forum (mostly males I hear?).

[Majella St Gerard]

Not an easy question to answer. I haven't figured it out yet.

[lingerieLiz]

Hmm, At this time I'm a guy who loves women's clothes. While I fit well into women's clothes I'm still a guy. In my youth it was a lot different. I was torn between being a girl and a guy. I liked girls sexually, but really enjoyed being out and about as a girl. I wasn't interested in becoming a girl so much as living, wearing, acting as one. Other times I loved chasing after beautiful girls. Life was confusing. After marriage I was happy to be the man of the house with some crossdressing.

[Scarlett398]

Hi there girls! I am a very handsome guy who absolutely loves to dress up as a cute, sexy, classy girl by the name of Scarlett!

However, on date night I go as a guy with the sexiest redhead in the world holding her hand on the way into both dinner and a movie and then can't wait to get home and light two Yankee Candles and watch the fireworks fly for about two of the best hours of my life each week!

I love getting my girl on and I love making love to my girl. I love being both a guy and a girl at different times during the week or month!

Love you girls and hope the above makes sense!

XOXOXO Scarlett :love:

[Becky Blue]

I am more F than M, how much more changes from 60:40 to 80:20... of course that is on the inside. it is most definitely not the clothes

[baldy1]

Male who loves to dress in ladies clothes, look at ladies clothes, look at ladies in ladies clothes and with a feminine side

Julie

[jennifer0918]

I'm a man that likes to feel like a woman every pink moon,or when a rainbow appears in my horizon.

[Stacy Darling]

I was going to say " Well it depends who is on top " but thought that may have been inappropriate.

So I'll pick Woman (with male bits), Maybe that means both? But if I have male bits I'm a Male!
Now I'm even questioning if I want to be the Woman in a Bi relationship? and that wasn't even the question!
Too much confusion and way too much information!

Just Blurt it out Stacy!

[KPhenil]

Greetings Sophisticated Ladies.

I like to keep them both separate. When I am a guy, I am a gentleman.

And I do mean that. Chivalry is not dead in my book. Especially when I am out with my lady who I love dearly.

When I am a lady, I want to look as lovely as I possibly can. Even though I am still in the closet with what I do with the exception of going to a service. I like to be as beautiful, curvy and as statuesque as I can. You have no choice when you are 6'2".

I do enjoy my female persona and hopefully one day show her to the world. But for now baby steps.

Thanks for listening.

[Eva Bella]

I'm a person with distinct male and female sides. Male about 80% of the time, female about 20%. When I'm en-femme, it's a very real and authentic expression. I don't change my voice or assume any mannerisms, but all of my movements and attitudes become very feminine.

[Alice Torn]

KPhenil, You sound like me. I work to be a gentleman, open doors, polite, etc, in guy mode which is the vast majority of my time, but at six foot five and a half, a statuesque but mostly modest amazon lady, when dolled up, and when i have the nerve to go out occasionally far from where i live. I dressup, also to resemble the type of lady, and style i would like in a mate. But, at 63, and no dating prospects, I ALMOST become the lady i long for.

[NicoleScott]

A man always, and it's about the clothes (and the wigs, shoes, makeup...).

[lynnstar]

A man. However, I like feeling a bit feminin sometimes. And wearing womens clothing satisfies that desire. So, i guess its the clothes. My way of thinking does not change even though my clothing does.

[DIANEF]

I'm a man, though hardly an 'alpha male'. I like to dress as a woman and emulate women as closely as possible. I have a few times (and would love to do again ) spent an entire week or more dressed, and did not want it to end. And, as I get older the desire to dress is increasing. Where that puts me on any kind of scale I really don't know.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

At heart I am a woman who unfortunately has to present as a man.

[ginapoodle]

Really deep question for me, and a good one. I am working on that from a Spiritual perspective. Can't discuss here though.

[sometimes_miss]

A bit of both. Physically, it's clear that I'm male. Brain says otherwise at times, though.
The clothes are the symptom. Why we want to wear them, is what we have to figure out.

[TheHiddenMe]

I'm a man who likes to wear woman's clothes and likes to look at myself dressed in woman's clothes, and who likes to try on lots of different styles of woman's clothes.

[TrishaTX]

Im 60-40 man in my opinion and hads nothing to do with the clothes that said I Have no interest in tracking transitioning...

[AmandaM]

It's identity, and then it's sensual. It's both sometimes. My TS feelings come and go but tend to be wanting to be a pretty woman, not just any woman. Ultimately, I have to go with what a former and my current therapist think, I'm a "true transvestite". That seems to be where things are settling.

[Lacey New]

I am a man. 100%. I am only attracted to women, their shape, their looks and their clothing. I just have this one little kink and that is that I love to dress up as a woman from time to time particularly enjoying all of the silky satiny things that women get to wear.

[Stephanie Julianna]

I'm starting to like the term "Gender Fluid." I pull from my male or female psyche as needed to navigatethrough my life as a husband, father, grandfather to boys and girls and as a hospice nurse. I truly believe that the strong prescence of the feminine in my personality has made me a more ubderstanding and compassionate person overall. However, the male side of me still thinks I know a better way to get someplace than my navigation app. which drives my wife nuts.

[Vintage4sarah]

If someone were to answer this question by using a clock or calendar, the world would see a reasonably successful man that feels good about his career, friends and most of all family. This is only on the surface as deep down, I know that have very strong female traits and desires that have emerged to me over the last 20 years. The outer female traits are empathy, understand and caring for others and being a good listener. I also make good friends with many women in my life especially in the world of my career. Those few time that my inner girl has an opportunity to be herself, I really like to be totally female and I enjoy the company of dear Tgirl friends as well as present myself as ladylike as possible.

[annecwesley]

It's the clothes. I'll even wear a kilt over my lacy underthings and pantyhose just for the opportunity to get out in public and not have to try to look like a woman (which I still love to do in private).

[CarlaWestin]

No question I'm a Male. It works for me and gets things done. And it's nice to take a break from it and be the female of immediate desire. And that's a whole cast of interesting looking characters.

[sara66]

I am male 99% of the time. But there is always a little pink in the back ground.
Sara :2c:

[Krea]

I'm a man who likes to feel feminine sometimes (hate the whole alpha male mentality) & it's certainly those lovely feminine clothes that do it for me. :)

[Mark B]

For me, it's defiantly the clothes. I don't pretend to be a woman and I literally cross dress, wearing both men's and women's clothes at the same time. I enjoy wearing the skirts, high heels, and the hose. I am very comfortable going out while cross dressed now and I don't care what others think anymore.

I normally don't do make-up or wigs, but I do however, when the wife asks me to dress for her to go out together. Then it's wig, breast forms, make-up, and the hip and butt shapers.

[Alice Torn]

Thanks all, for the honest sharing. I still am not sure why i have this compulsion. i am a loner man, who always wanted, but never got a chance to have SO, or wife. i think i dress for a number of reasons. Bizarre dysfunctional family, baby of the family issues, lack of closeness to my dad, too much of a smothering mother, always turned on by very tall women. i am almost six foot six, much rejection by women, i was interested in, including a widow near here, who i thought would give me a chance, but wants nothing to do with me. The Rockford Illinois are, is a graveyard for older single men wanting to date or marry!!! Armpit of the nation! A guy i worked with called it that! I also have always been turned on by hose, heels, and dresses, long legs. I have long legs, that look nice in hose and heels,. I only feel a little like a lady, when dressed as one, and to be honest, that is the only times i fantasize about being a lady with a gentleman. Not looking to meet any more admirers, though! I am an enigma, complex, but enjoy being dressed nice as a man, and doing men things, like sports, fishing, camping, dirty work, too. No wife , 63 yrs old, Part of my dressing is an escape from the loveless world of an old bachelor, too. Sorry i went rambling so much. Just a loner sharing!

[stephanie2000]

This is a great question. I'm not sure to be honest. A part of me just loves dressing up in sexy lingerie and then putting on the top layer of women's clothes and walking around my home. But I have recently contemplated going out in public. For now just to a local chapter of cross dressers then going to a restaurant/dance club after the regular patrons leave. (strength in numbers I hope) This will be a huge milestone for me and I am very nervous about it but don't think I can stop myself now. Over the years I have purged so much nice clothing that it makes me sad and I so hope that I don't continue that behavior. It's just hard for me to imagine feeling comfortable dressed and being among other people. I don't think I will ever allow any family for friends to see this side of me.

[Lucy23]

A man. It's just the clothes, nothing more. I don't change at all, I'm still the same person whenever I wear a beautiful dress and heels or my ordinary clothes.

[Tina81]

I'm a man. I appreciate and admire a well-proportioned women's figure. I like wearing women's clothes/shoes/make-up but I like being able to go back to my own clothes. Like others, I enjoy looking at myself dressed and looking at women in stylish women's clothes, especially dresses and skirts. I especially like the feel of wearing pencils skirts and scuba sheath dress. When dressed in women's clothes, it feels comfortable and enjoyable.

[Nikki A.]

OK I think I'm a combination of Al Bundy and Sofia Loren. At times I can be a typical male but the inner me is wishing I could be someone as sensual and good looking as Ms Loren. I always thought she was the ultimate female.
I think that if I was 15 - 20 years old now, with all the info available on the internet today, I may have tried to transition. However I think its 40-45 years too late and too much water under the bridge. I'm happy being a male who has the opportunity to let his femme side out on a regular basis, and as I get older being more open about it.
What is the difference between a CD and a TG ? 2 years. I was told by a girl who transitioned that she gave me 2 yrs before I would do the same thing, based on how comfortable I was with being dressed. Well I'm going on 5 years and have not yet done so, but at times it is tempting.

[Joanne108]

I know that I am a man. It find cool and thrilling to wear women's clothing. It has given me insight into how much work women put in to be beautiful for us men. I find it rewarding when I pull off the illusion of being a woman, but I'm happy to be done with it when my time as Joanne is over.

[AllieBellema]

Even though I do enjoy the feminine side of dressing up, I still identify myself as a guy to everybody. When I do have my outfit on though and I look at myself in the mirror, I'll call myself a woman at that point, but that's really the only time I'll do it. I'm just a guy that likes wearing ball gowns and fancy dresses!

[AmandaM]

I want to add, when I dress up, I feel good, I feel happy, I feel like a woman (whatever that means). And then, it fades. My "feeling like a woman" comes and goes.

[Robin777]

To be honest, I don't what I am. At one time when I was in my late teens I wanted to transition. I was confused with myself. Then I got married and that want went away. I like being a male. I enjoy the beauty of women and I enjoy the things that come with being male. Then at times I need to dress feminine and express that side of me.When I'm dressed I look at women differently. Does that make me Genderfluid? I just don't know.

[Lacy PJs]

Man for sure. It's the feeling of (some) clothes that I enjoy.

Lacy PJs

[Sallee]

For me its the cloths I think. So there must be some kind of feminine gene there I have never had a desire to transition. That would really make life more complex

[Katie Anne]

When I met my current wife, we both were in our late 30's. She completely accepted my crossdressing and even encouraged me to go a bit further in my fashion choices and the places I felt comfortable going en femme. She said she found that I radiated a different energy when presenting as male. As a man, I was more demanding and more driven. Neither were qualities that she admired. This was not a femdom or even a particularly feminist thing with her. It was just a proclivity. She had female lovers in the past and she liked the parity of those relationships. I envied her lesbian relationships. I began to conceive of myself as a lesbian. We made a deal. For six months, I would not leave the house without being dressed in a skirt and full makeup. My wife is very feminine. She never looks in any way "butch". We both do household chores. I like the way my wife dresses so much we frequently wear hers and "hers" outfits. I work in an agency that accepts me as "trans" and my co-workers have been supportive of my "transition". In all situations now, I am' "one of the girls". Frequently, I am the only "girl" in a skirt or dress and heels. Being in a skirt, heels, full makeup for 16 hours a day has changed me. I take hormones and T-blockers, but I carefully manage the dose to avoid losing the ability to get an erection, even though these displays of masculinity are no longer a big part of my marital love life. What does all this make me, a man or a woman? Socially, I am female from my painted toenails to my expertly styled hair. Yet, I have no desire for SRS, though I love having boobs. Most of my friends and family accept me as a woman married to another woman. I just love all this. Deep down, I realize that if there was not some part of me that was still male there would be no thrill associated with my new lifestyle.

[AutumnNC]

I am a man. I enjoy being a man. I do not feel like a woman at all. However, when I see a woman in a pretty dress, or sexy lingerie, my mind wanders. I think to myself that I wonder what it feels like to be dressed like that?

It is enjoyable to completely transform and feel pretty every now and again. It is haaaard work though! So I am fully content being a male. Just wish there was more variety in our clothing!

[Diane Taylor]

I consider myself to be a male who likes to wear the clothing that is considered by "society" to be for females. I have never considered myself to be a woman in any way.

[Amelie]

I am a woman.

I am a non-op transsexual. I will do as much as possible to be a women without getting SRS. With my mental background no one will OK an operation for me. That is OK, I still will be a woman.

[ShirleyN]

This has probably been batted around many times on this forum, but i just wanted to see what y'all say. I think i am a male, with a fem side, AND I LOVE CERTAIN LADIIES' STYLES. Not all of their styles, though.

Hey Alice.
For me, its generally more to do with the clothes. While i'm outwardly male, I think that internally, I'm probably just that little bit more female but have no desire to transition. I agree with you about certainly ladies' styles as I have a similar view to this point.
As I've said before on this forum, I love long ankle-length skirts (of all different types and patterns.) I like short skirts too more knee-length skirts (the kind that busineswomen might wear to just above the knees.:)

- - - Updated - - -

[QUOTE=AutumnNC;4099471]I am a man. I enjoy being a man. I do not feel like a woman at all. However, when I see a woman in a pretty dress, or sexy lingerie, my mind wanders. I think to myself that I wonder what it feels like to be dressed like that?"
Agreed. There's just something about images of well-dressed women in skirts or dresses that, for want of a better expression, "awakens" the desire to emulate them. This can be quite a powerful temptation to resist.


"It is enjoyable to completely transform and feel pretty every now and again. It is haaaard work though! So I am fully content being a male." Ditto. My own thoughts exactly!

[Alice Torn]

Thanks Shirley. I was always mesmerized by some attractive ladies in sleeveless knee length or a bit shorter or longer dresses, and pencil skirts, in hose and heels.

[JulieStone]

It's like I'm two people, Dave is strong, in charge, very alpha, Julie is submissive, and compliant.

[Rachelakld]

two seperate people
Primary personality is male, sub-personality is female see "Co-consciousness", but please don't associate it with dysphoria as we are both content with the shared, health & fit body.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm no longer sure. I used to think I was a male who just enjoyed women's clothing. However, I find that Jodie is taking up more and more of my life.

[PamelaRI]

I saw the thread, I read the thread, I thought about the thread, I crafted several posts to the thread, but decided not to post them to the thread. This is one of those postings that shows up here on occasion that you read and think you know the answer, but as you read through it and see the answers of others, you start questioning if you really do know the answer. I know that inside I'm not a "man". Men things (expectations, attitudes especially) often make me uncomfortable. But on the other hand, I'm what I would call "a man, by bad habit". In other words, I do "man" because that's what they told me I was at the factory, but I don't really believe in it and am not really comfortable with it. Movies make me cry. If given a choice of discussing football or fashion, I'd lean toward fashion, but can talk football if I have to. I have one close male "non-work related" friend. Most of my close friends are women. I like quiche. Seriously, I do know that I'm a quirky, grumpy, frustrated, bright, closet disestablishmentarian who someday may know who to be when I grow up.

So what's my answer to the posited question - I'd say that I'm gender-fluid, non-binary on the feminine side, but in reality I'm a fraud. I take advantage of and am held hostage by the economic advantages of my male status, while wishing that I were female or at least able to do the things that women do that are in the forbidden zone for men.

[DMichele]

For a while I avoided this question, but it is a good one for self-evaluation and awareness. I identify with being within transgender umbrella, and non-binary. In previous posts I said I was 60% female / 40% male.

Body and spirit-wise, I have come to terms with who I am today. I have no plans to change my body, but I am open to a more feminine body. In short, I believe I am a near-woman. That is I am much closer to being female than male.

[Victoria92116]

I am definitely a male in and out. No desire to change my good around, but I do find that dressing and doing my makeup is relaxing, and when I'm dressed I do feel more feminine which is a relaxing thing I suppose. I also have noticed, since I really started dressing in more than just panties I appreciate the look of ladies clothes and shoes, and even take extra long looks at how these gals do there makeup, where I normally would be a standard guy and look at their body. It's strange to appreciate something I never noticed before.

[Devi SM]

For me dressing is just a consequence of what I am. An expression of how I feel comfortable dressing and acting.
Like someone said, If I would understand earlier, who I am, If I would not be washed brain with religion and guilty for 50 years, If I wouldn't married and got three boys, for sure I would transition to the full.
When dressed are the only moments when I feel 100% fulfilled.
Vanessa is a woman in a man's body fighting every moment to be seen as a woman...and accepted and appreciated...

[Amy559]

I do feel like I was born with the wrong parts. If I could snap my fingers to become a GG I'd do it in a second.