Role Reversal

[gerri ray]

The wife and I are in the process of redefining our roles. I now do all the house chores such as cleaning, washing laundry/dishes, etc. She's taking on other roles of mine. I work from home and my biggest new role is taking care of the kids. The wife says I'm better at it because I'm more patient and have a more nurturing Spirit than she does.
I was just wondering if this is common in a cross dressing accepting marriage?

[DIANEF]

Not really role reversal in my home but I can cook, keep the house tidy, sew on a button, pretty much anything my wife can do, but she couldn't put a shelf up or unblock a drain!!. As for raising our kids, she admitted I was better at it than her as she is not the most patient of types. Should add that my wife is far better than me at dealing with all the household bills and finances.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm quite happy running the household, I've done it my whole life. It's a tough role whilst working full time but things are a bit easier for me these days as I retired 8yrs back.
I am Very/Extremely confident that my cooking, washing n ironing, gardening and generally prettying up our home is undoubtedly connected to my feminine side & my dressing, no doubt at all!

I must add that My Wife is only accepting of part dressing (apron & panties, nails & lippy) Go figure?
My wife is happy with a nice meal and fresh cut flowers on the table and so am I.

Don't think I fit into the Common crossdresser category though!
Stacy!

[Shannon michelle]

Not really a role reversal but I have done 90% of the cooking for the 24 years we have been together.

Shannon

[Roxanne]

I think traditional couples like the predefined roles. CDs or TG are looking to take on all aspects of their femme role. Since I've begun transitioning, I do all the laundry, dishes, and a lot of cooking. My wife still does cleaning since the Y chromosome prevents me from seeing dirt.

[Stephanie47]

I wouldn't call it 'role reversal.' Actually, many if not most young women would consider characterizing it as role reversal to be archaic. Women have been fighting that sort of stereotyping for a long time. Too many males still try to push the concept of women should stay home with the kids. Anyway, I've been retired for nine years already. My wife still works outside the home, although right now she has taken off a year for medical reasons. Before her break from employment I was doing all the grocery shopping, laundry, ironing, vacuuming, most of the meal preparation. Before I retired it was a shared chore. I see families where the wife is the bread winner and the husband the stay at home parent. It's usually because she has the higher earning capacity. Of course, if one parent can work from home, then it makes sense for that parent to assume more responsibilities as long as it does not interfere with productivity for the employer.

Of course, in our situation, when my wife is at work the domestic chores are done en femme.

[Kate Simmons]

Not necessarily, it really depends on the situation and the people involved. :)

[Gillian Gigs]

To make a marriage work, it takes cooperation. The roles that we take on should reflect our strengths and weaknesses. This has nothing to do with CDing. If you don't mind doing the household cleaning, then do it. The CDer part comes into play if you like to dress while doing it! lol

[Pat]

My marriage was like that (though, sadly, neither one of us was especially good at housekeeping. ;) ) It was an arrangement that was satisfactory to us -- I kept a stable home life for the kids, she went off on long-term business trips. When the marriage broke up (nothing to do with gender) we briefly tried to toe our respective marks for social function, but it wasn't really a fit for either of us, so after a year of trying, the kids came to live with me, which made me ecstatic, and she got to go back to living out of a suitcase which was good for her. (The kids grew up happy, secure that we both loved them, and now lead productive lives of their own.)

If it works for you two, nobody else gets a vote. Enjoy it and take good care of each other.

[SometimesKairi]

Maybe cos I am of a younger generation but I would fully expect to split all household chores 50/50 and expect either gender to do any task

[Robertacd]

Role Reversal? Seriously?

It has been 50 years or more since the days of "Men go to work and women stay home and raise the kids".

In a modern relationship there are no hard gender roles, you work together to raise a family.

[Brandy Mathews]

Well I would sure enjoy that role reversal as you call it. I love to cook and bake and even clean. I know, right? But when I get done with that I reward myself by some shopping time, lol. I would really enjoy being a stay at home girl but I can't. :(. So I think that you are very lucky to be able to do it.
Hugs,
Bree ;)

[gerri ray]

True. I think modern relationships are going back to what relationships were before prior to "men work and woman stay home." Family life was never intended to be that way.

[suzanne]

My wife and I both have 40 hour work weeks. Her salary is about 50% higher than mine. Our household chores are evolving from 90% her to being much more equitable, although I can't yet say it has gone all the way to 50/50. She cooks, but I do breakfasts and those dinners when she's just too tired. We do the dishes together. She cleans, but I vacuum and do most of the laundry. I do all the driving. I don't think this has anything to do with crossdresssing, except that my feminine side is sensitive to her needs and prompts me to get off my butt.

[Pat]

Maybe cos I am of a younger generation but I would fully expect to split all household chores 50/50 and expect either gender to do any task

I understand why that sounds like an answer, but it would mean that half the time people were doing things they didn't want to do. Split the workload, sure, we all do that. But when it was an issue, my wife would rather have chewed her leg off than go to most school events. On the other hand, I went to all of them up through and including college. Should I have insisted she cover half the curriculum nights, half the PTO presentations, half the school play rehearsals because that would be "equitable"? Or should I do the things I really liked to do and let her do the things she really liked to do (that I did not) and then negotiate the ones neither or both wants to do?

[Rachael Leigh]

Not really role reversal but wife does the bills and I do try and clean house when I can but would love to have a maids outfit
to make if even more fun

[SometimesKairi]

I understand why that sounds like an answer, but it would mean that half the time people were doing things they didn't want to do. Split the workload, sure, we all do that. But when it was an issue, my wife would rather have chewed her leg off than go to most school events. On the other hand, I went to all of them up through and including college. Should I have insisted she cover half the curriculum nights, half the PTO presentations, half the school play rehearsals because that would be "equitable"? Or should I do the things I really liked to do and let her do the things she really liked to do (that I did not) and then negotiate the ones neither or both wants to do?

Sure but the point is there are no 'gender jobs'
A woman is just as capable of mowing the lawn, painting the walls, fixing the fridge as a man and a man can do the sewing, the dusting or the cooking.
I'm not saying jobs must be split exactly in half, just the idea that job X is only for females and job Y is only for males.
That's utterly ridiculous.

Edit - Think maybe you missed my point Pat :)
By 50/50 I don't mean half the time person A does job X (say washing up) and half the time person B does job X
More that ignore gender jobs and just get chores done.
They're called chores for a reason lol

[Teresa]

Gerri
I do all the cooking , cleaning , washing, ironing my wife still chooses to work, so it's a fair deal.

OK even in a DADT situation being dressed with my PVC apron it's enjoyable , m y wife knows so along as she has a meal on the table and a clean house where's the problem.

[Dana44]

Here, when I go out to do the dishes, she does not want me to do that or wash clothes or vacuum. But I do clean the bathroom and some general cleaning or cooking. She says those things are her job and feels bad if I do it. I think that in a family all should contribute to keeping a house nice. I also dry the dishes put them away so it is two of us working together.

[Francene Lola Dupree]

I do all of the cooking, and she probably does most of the cleaning. My SO does take advantage of my Maid instincts to get a little extra help whenever she fancies ;) But I also do most of the male chores and mechanics.
Her Strengths are my biggest weaknesses, Finances, Organisation and Administration.
Our roles aren't traditional but they suit us.

[Ally 2112]

When i was married i always helped out inside and out .Now im single i do it all sometimes dressed sometimes not

[Krea]

We have been like this for years now. I do all the cooking (not necessarily very well) & shopping, cleaning, laundry, garden & DIY etc as a balance to my part-time work. My wife is the high-flying career person, the brains of the operation.
Sadly, many people we know still think that this is "wrong"....

[ginapoodle]

Female energy can be extremely nurturing for kids, and domestic. I have always been that way, and our adult daughters are beautiful success examples.

[Jaylyn]

I don't go with total role reversal. We had three kids in pampers at the same time. It was hard keeping them all changed and meeting their daily bottle feelings. My wife and I had to both work to feed the family. We had good jobs that were also demanding. Many times I was at home when she was at work. Many times she'd be the only one home. We both made meals, cooked, cleaned, and back then even ironed. When it came time to paint the house and reroof after a hail storm we were both outside working while the kids were playing in the back yard. Our only time to rest was when the kids were all in bed at night, there wasn't very much CD going on then. Today all the kids are gone and we still help each other cook and I do a lot of the laundry, she helps me outside also.

[GretchenM]

Adbout 10 years ago there was a study published in a journal that examined the happiness of wives when married to various types of men. It also examined various combinations of masculine gender behaviors and feminine gender behaviors. They found that women in general are least happy when married to a strongly masculine man. The strongly masculine men married to strongly feminine women was the least pleasant for the woman. Interestingly, the happiest women are the ones who are married to androgynous or somewhat feminine men. The study did not address the combination of clearly transgender men with women that are moderate to strongly feminine unless you consider androgynous to be transgender. That is not really the case but is closer than any other group they studied. No crossdressers were included in the study but the among the subjects selected one could see that possibility could exist even though it was not revealed. It concluded that the fact that androgynous and feminine men tend to be more sensitive, caring, and giving than masculine men is what pleased women the most. Seems to be pretty consistent with the direction female/male relationships are trending, especially among the younger folks. Although the study did not directly address the effects of gender traits and characteristics on the divorce rate, it did appear that because women are least happy with strong masculine males one could conclude that it might contribute to divorce.

[ReineD]

I wouldn't call it 'role reversal.' Actually, many if not most young women would consider characterizing it as role reversal to be archaic. Women have been fighting that sort of stereotyping for a long time. Too many males still try to push the concept of women should stay home with the kids.

Thank you. :)

I pointed this out in another thread but I don't and never have placed any indoor or outdoor chore in a gender box . Neither did my ex. Neither do my sons and their wives/girlfriends. Everyone always pitches in everywhere. Strangely though, my current SO tends to leave most the cooking, dishes, and bathroom cleaning to me. lol.

My parents conformed to gender roles, but they were born in the 1920s!

[Tracii G]

Maybe cos I am of a younger generation but I would fully expect to split all household chores 50/50 and expect either gender to do any task

Oh to be young and idealistic again.
Honey if you think that is how it works reply again in 15 years and tell us what you found out.

[StephanieM]

Plenty of non CD guys play Mr Mom, so I'm not sure if it has anything to do with the CDing, unless that is your thing, to take on the traditional female role in order to feel feminine.

That's one thing in our current society the gender roles are no longer applicable since most couples both work, and split chores, and a lot of women earn more than their husband so she ends up being the bread winner. And just in case anyone misunderstands me, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, I believe it is wonderful that marriage is no longer "ownership" but is now 2 people working as a team to do whatever needs to be done.

[RADER]

Well live alone, so all the house work is on me.
I do like wearing a dress or a skirt and top while house cleaning.
Rader

[Christina Page]

Years ago I told my wife that when she was out off town I did the housework while wearing a maid uniform. Her response was "That's awesome! ". I enjoy that now when she's home, especially when she gets a little bossy ;-)

I'm into vintage fashion so I also like the idea of being a merry homemaker ala Mrs. Cleaver in a 50's dress.

[Krisi]

Role Reversal? Seriously?

It has been 50 years or more since the days of "Men go to work and women stay home and raise the kids".

In a modern relationship there are no hard gender roles, you work together to raise a family.

That's pretty much how my wife and I do it. I usually do the laundry and I often cook. I do all the sewing. I do things that involve tools.

It has nothing to do with crossdressing. A good relationship has each person doing what they do best and splitting the responsibilities.

[BrendaPDX]

My wife and I split the chores, she takes care of the laundry (thank God), I mow the lawn, and take care of the vehicles. We are a team with not too much division. Brenda

[NicoleScott]

The 1950's are long gone, along with those traditional roles. He worked and did the handyman things, she cooked and cleaned (in a dress, high heels, and makeup) and got the kids off to school. Everything has changed.
My wife and I more or less settled into our current roles based on our strengths and weaknesses, likes and dislikes. She does the laundry, cleans house, and keeps the cars washed and waxed. I do the yard, garden, repairs and maintenance. I don't mind doing the dishes, but HATE putting the clean dishes away. She's Asian, and we have vastly different tastes in food, so we cook separately.
All of these role assignments have nothing to do with my crossdressing, which is about me and my dressup things.

[IleneD]

Role Reversal and housekeeping?

NOW HEAR THIS! NOW HEAR THIS. Four bells, four bells. All sweepers man your brooms. Sweep all spaces fore and aft.!!!
The United States Navy; creating the world's greatest housekeepers.
279225 279226

No one lets you fly an F/A-18 until you can fly a floor buffer.

[Beverley Sims]

Ileen,

You are talking about those one brush devices.

It was always fun seeing new recruits try them out as they slowly demolished their bed spaces. :-)