One of us

[xNicolex]

Ok so I just thought of this and had to ask, how do you spot a fellow CDer? I mean one in male mode, I know many of us are very secretive and careful how we act or even speak, but, there have got to be similarities or traits that we share that we can spot :daydreaming: I am always on the look out at work as 80% of the staff are male and over 700 work there I figure there is a good chance there are at least 7 other CDer's hiding out there. It's hard to say maybe there isn't a definitive way to determine who is and who isn't :doh: but I wonder if any of you girls ever suspected anyone or maybe you have a knack for picking up on others?

[~Joanne~]

I would say shaved arms is a good sign, legs too unless they are into running or swimming then that shoots it out the window. Longer nails can be a sign and i think very nice eye brows could be too. While you may have suspicions that someone may be CD, it doesn't prove it so approaching, assuming, and asking would be out of the question. Of coarse if they are wearing girl jeans, and you would be the one to know if they are girls or males, that would probably be a clear cut sign. Again though, you never know, this is 2017 ;)

[Dana44]

That would be very hard as several of them act manly and even a fem looking one might not even crossdress. Even ones with long hair might not. But if you get to know them a bit better you could make a guess at it but still might be wrong. Only if they tell you.

[Allison2006]

I have run into guys that I had a feeling might be "one of us" but not because of any traits I noticed or anything I could quite put a finger on, it was more of a gut instinct thing. Ran into one at work fairly recently as a matter of fact.

[Kelly DeWinter]

Sometimes its easier to spot a member of our august community by the light of a blue moon on the 5th Tuesday of February. :heehee:

[Lana Mae]

OK, this is one of those assume-ing things! Yes, it will make an ass out of you and me! Do not do it because there are no sure triggers for this one! I did this once in my bad boy days! Local man with a very high pitched voice! Must be gay or something! (sorry to anyone who is gay no offense intended!) Turns out the man was married with three kids! No do not assume! Hugs Lana Mae

[Stacy Darling]

I assumed that I could sort of tell at one point but I was probably wrong each time. I do know two others and even I can't tell when they are in male mode.
I on the other hand, I'm quite pickable. So my Knack of picking is when a guy looks at my nails or legs, or just gives me the up and down look. Then again he may be gay or just curious!

Second thought, Eye contact. No that could fit into the gay or curios category aswell!

I'll just stick to letting them tell me after I openly tell them!
Stacy

[Jaylyn]

This make me think back to a thread one time here about there ought to be a sign that we could all give to each other.... There was talk of even a symbol to put on the car, a sticker, and even a secret handshake ..... Lol just teasing about the secret handshake.

[Brandy Mathews]

Lol,
I always say, usually it is the ones with the biggest pickup truck, or the ones that put us down so bad. Had a mechanic like that years ago. Piece of equipment broke down and he crawled underneath it to fix it. He bent over to do something. His coat came up and showed his pink panties. I never said a word. But I thought, mine are black today, lol.
Bree;)

[Amy Lynn3]

Sort of like Bree said. A guy was around lumber that had a nail sticking out and he hooked his pants on the nail and tore a big spot out of the rear. He was wearing a pair of white nylon panties. That is about the only way I can tell, if I see them wearing female clothing.

I have better luck picking out males who present as women.

[Genny B]

I would say to look for the guy with the most masculine activities. The Marine or Special Forces. Was a SEAL or Ranger. Rides a motorcyle and is very competitve. So many of us tried to be masculine when we were younng that it got us into other things of this sort. Fact.

Genny B

[jayme357]

Guilty as charged Genny.

[Pat]

I'd say wear a button that says, "Ask me about my crossdressing" and they'll find *you*. See how easy that was? If you don't want to do that, maybe they don't want to do that either and you should give them their privacy.

[Tracii G]

Good luck Nicole when you find out the key to spotting one you let us know.

[Jodie_Lynn]

I don't think there is any definitive way to determine, unless you've bumped into them when they were presenting as femme.

Or, as in my case, you make a faux pas: after a weekend, I apparently didn't get all the polish off of one nail. Just a small little dot. A co-worker pointed it out to me, and in a low voice said: "I always check twice to make sure its all off" with a wink. And we became fast girlfriends after that.

[deebra]

Just put on your superman xray glasses and then you can see if they are wearing a bra and panties or boxers.

Seriously, it would be really nice if there was a way.

[Jackiefl]

The only sure way i know of how to spot one of us is LOOK IN THE MIRROR. lol

[Ressie]

Ya just have to ask.

Are you wearing a bra right now?
What color are your panties?

Really, the only time I have an inkling is when I'm shopping in the ladies dept and there's another guy doing the same. But that's as far as that goes!

[DIANEF]

I rarely notice what men are wearing or how they are acting when I'm out (too busy observing women) but I'm sure I have spoken to or at least seen others. Where I used to work one of the cleaner guys did a drag act in the evenings, he looked pretty good!

[Teresa]

Nicolex,
If you go by the statistics yes you are probably correct there will be others enjoying a little underdressing at work.

How can you tell , well now I'm out far more, unless you have a sign hung round your neck saying you're one people don't expect it so most aren't looking for any signs. My thread titled , " Blimey is that your girlfriend !" puts that message across even when I had shown my pictures.

OK the next qustion is what do you do when you discover others, what difference is it going to make ? I you discover others will you come out to them and form a friendship ?

Now I'm out socially meeting so many and their partners is no big deal , the mystery of what other CDers look like has gone .

If I see another guy shopping and going through the female racks I just smile now, I don't have a deep urge to rush up and introduce myself , he's just shopping for his needs as I am .

[Jenny22]

Clear nail polish on guys who do it because of brittle nails. Mine is even high gloss.

[sometimes_miss]

There is no way. Lots of us closeted folks go to great lengths to make sure we don't give off ANY outward signs that we are crossdressers. So while we may accidently miss something once in a great while, it's quite rare, and if you don't watch us closely every second, you aren't going to see it. My one mistake? Forgetting to take off my nail polish before going to work; I had gotten so used to wearing it, it became part of my normal behavior to have it on. When I got to my locker, as I opened the lock, I saw it on my fingernails, and almost panicked. But I had time to get back to my car and use a solvent to remove it. As it was a pale pink color, unless someone looked real close to my hands, it wasn't noticeable.

[Lacey New]

Unless someone is "out" as a CD, I doubt if you would necessarily spot one. Many of us are very discrete. Even when I buy women's wear for me, I don't go out of my way to admit it is for me. If I buy a bra at the self checkout line at Walmart, I just keep my mouth shut. However, it is rather obvious when I ask to try on a dress. But if you saw me walking down the street wearing panties under my jeans, I doubt that you would ever know.

[Kate Simmons]

Intuition, reading vibes and body language. :battingeyelashes::)

[junetv]

One of these days, we'll figure out a way to do this. The spectrum is so wide of who we are, that tell-tale signs are often camouflaged because if we "know" them then word will get out to the rest of the world.

nails - I have seen buffed and polished nails on many gay men who aren't in our community
shaved legs - yes swimmers and bikers do it, but there is a trend among some bikers to not shave
"metrosexualness" -- this is probably the closest indication, but a 100% indicator

Run into them at a ladies shoes store with a pair of size 10 pumps in hand when their wife is much smaller...well then they probably are.

[Chelseydelaw]

Just put on your superman xray glasses and then you can see if they are wearing a bra and panties or boxers.

Seriously, it would be really nice if there was a way.

I remember reading an article a while ago about a camera on a phone that could do that. Don't recall exactly how or what needed to be done.

[CynthiaD]

I've only encountered another CD once. This was a guy with a beard wearing a bride's maid dress. No ambiguity there. I take everyone at face value. If you're wearing female clothing trying to appear female, then you're female. Period. I'm not going to expend any effort to try and "expose your secret." I would hope that others would do me the same courtesy.

[Allison Chaynes]

When I am in the women's section of a store and it's obvious that you know exactly what you are looking at and for, I generally assume you are a sister. I will not acknowledge you other than a "hi" nod that I would to anyone else I encountered while shopping.

[ginapoodle]

I would generally say yes, but not always

[MissChloe]

We should have a pin or patch that could be worn on an everyday basis even In make mode. Something that would be easy to identify but not outwardly identifying.

For example, in German in the late 1920's the Freemasons used a forget me not flower emblem to identify each other but hide from the Nazi's.

http://www.masonicnetwork.org/blog/2009/the-story-behind-forget-me-not-emblem/

[Michelle Cheli]

I used to work at a Walmart, and every so often I'd see a guy browsing the womens clothes. Maybe it's just because I do it too that I noticed haha. One time, and i swear this is true, I saw an older guy wearing a t shirt, jean shorts, and.........3 inch heels. I don't know if that counts as male mode, but I'd bet money he was a "secret she" lol

[faltenrock]

No, I don't think that you could possibly spot a fellow CD in male mode. On my many trips, even when I'm out as a man with my wife shopping, I've seen quite a number of other CD, but never thought of anyone in male ode as being a CD.
I think that would be impossible, it would also imply a strange judgment about that other person.

[Becky Blue]

It is something I have pondered Nicole. I have client who I have often wondered about, i don't know why but there is something that makes me wonder.

[Paula Siemen]

I suppose we could use the Little Rascals Hi-Sign
https://www.google.com/search?hl=en-US&ei=l58dWZP4OJeujwOI0qy4AQ&q=little+rascals+hi+sign&oq=little+rascals+hi&gs_l=mobile-gws-serp.1.0.0l5.4482.16126.0.18202.24.23.1.11.11.0.29 8.4797.0j3j18.21.0....0...1.1.64.mobile-gws-serp..7.17.2089.3..35i39k1j0i131i155k1j0i67k1j0i13 1i67k1j0i131k1j0i20k1.sBU9LJNhEH4

[Alice B]

I would go with the shaving body clue, except here in S. Calif there are lots of bikers and swimmers that shave. I tend to look for evidence of mascara and waxed eye brows with a high curve. And of course those shopping in the womans section.

[AileenCD]

This takes a little more familiarity, but I think CD's look at women differently..check their clothes, styles, and movements with a different eye. I've gone out with other gurls in drab for coffee, and we have a running conversations about gg's dress, makeup and general cuteness that other men would never share. We notice different things.

[Robertacd]

The only time I was ever sure about another "one of us" was when I noticed another guy in the Ham radio club was wearing a bra.

I didn't say anything at the time. He eventually quit the club and transitiond. I tried to make friends with her but she was not interested.

[IleneD]

Take my picture, please!

I remember reading an article a while ago about a camera on a phone that could do that. Don't recall exactly how or what needed to be done.

[Stephanie47]

From some of the comments I see on this forum I'd say be on the look put for bra straps showing through shirts. Or, if the weather is hot check for guys sweltering with long sleeves shirts and jackets. Maybe the guys eye brows are shaped in a feminine manner. Lack of hair on the back of the hands. Static cling between slacks and the hosiery underneath leading to the pant legs not laying straight down.

If you saw me with shorts on you maybe would thick I'm a cross dresser because my legs are totally bare on the calves and the thighs with a little fine hair on the front of the legs below the knees. If you look even closer you'll see I don't have hair follicles. And, no underarm hair. My wife hates me for that.

I know some are reluctant to come to the defense of the trans community because maybe someone will think "you're one of them!" But alas, I have a good friend who has a grandson who is trans woman, and, my wife has a cousin whose daughter is transitioning to a man, surgically. I just retort those situations and consider myself well read and informed.

There's no real way to detect a CDer the man is careful.

[Tracii G]

Speaking of seeing a sister I saw one at the grocery this evening.
About 6'1" teal tank top white shorts.She was casual and not trashy looking at all.
Blonde hair,arm tattoo.
I had parked my car and she walked past me as I rounded the back of my car walking towards the store.
I saw the outfit and the hair OK female but her gait was more manly so that tipped me off.
I walked past her to get my shopping cart and I made no eye contact.
Ran into to her a few times as I got my groceries but that was it.
I just wasn't sure if she was a member of my trans group or not because its been a while since I have attended.
So no contact but a sighting at least.
Oh yeah I would have put her age to be 50 something.

PS it that was a member here I would have not put you on the spot and respected your dignity.

[njcddresser]

I would say shaved arms is a good sign, legs too unless they are into running or swimming then that shoots it out the window. Longer nails can be a sign and i think very nice eye brows...

Based on your reply, I have cd written all over my face... shaved arms, shaved legs, nice feminine eye brows. No one has ever said anything but I wonder who has suspected.

[mikeb75]

What if someone naturally doesn't have arm hair or leg hair, I know i naturally don't have arm or leg hair

[mbmeen12]

At the local bank I was male mode and she was dressed very nice. We exchanged pleasantries at the counter and smiles later in parking lot as she drove away. I would have loved to chat in lot with her but did not want to come off creepish etc.

[reinasblack]

I thought there was a secret symbol for CD's.

Cross Dress/ X Dress

XD

[Leslie Mary S]

I think a simple yellow dot pin with XD on it would suffice. I selected 'X' because "CD" means something different to most people.
Now does anyone want to have some of them made? Advance orders of course.


277291

As for a hand signal a salute of two crossed finger to the forehead like we used to do to salute all woman when passing on the street.
It is a symbolic tipping of the hat, but how many will notice the two "CROSSED" fingers?

- - - Updated - - -


I remember reading an article a while ago about a camera on a phone that could do that. Don't recall exactly how or what needed to be done.

I believe that is a SciFi / Hollywood movie gimmick. I do remember that at one time they really were looking at a ultrasound device for use at airports that you walked through that would do that. It got vetoed back then as an invasion of privacy.