Do You Love your FEM self?

[Judy-Somthing]

Do You Love your FEM self?

I love the way I look in full makeup and a dress, I don't want to stop!

I haven't dressed in three months but I'm thinking about it.

Since I told my wife she expects it to stop.

I don't want to lie or hide but I think I have to.

The last three times I talked or told her about my cross-dressing our relationship/her treatment towards me was a real BUMMER.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

[Gillian Gigs]

I'm sorry for your situation. You sound like a ticking time bomb. You need to find a way to defuse this bomb!

[sometimes_miss]

Don't have two selves. Just one. it's all me. Do I love myself? I always thought that was an odd concept. But I like myself.

[Stacy Darling]

I do!
I pretty myself up any chance I get!
I think for me, that does mean that "I Love Myself"

"Pretty" straight about that Too!

I love myself so much that I thought someone else would have posted this for me!

On a serious note though, I really hope that you and your wife can find some middle ground somewhere, or come to some agreement soon. I'm still trying to work it out with mine, and it aint easy!

Stacy!

[Alice_2014_B]

I absolutely love how I look completely femmed up!
I love compliments I (she) gets, especially in person.
I even have a YouTube channel dedicated to my femme side.

:)

[Nikki A.]

I don't love myself, but I like being me.
For the longest time I thought I'd be happiest being able to split my time 50/50 between modes. As time progresses I think I'd like to be Nikki more. Best of all worlds would be to meld both into one and wear what ever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

[Alisonforme]

I do love my fem self!!
I love feeling girly and letting that side of myself out.
Sometimes it comes out when I'm just walking down the hall at work and I feel the girl within me.

[Angie G]

I love myself as Angie.I think I go a bit more to the fem side anyway.:hugs:
Angie

[DIANEF]

I don't love my femme self, well not in the conventional sense, but I do love my dress time, and how I look when everything is complete.

[rockerreds]

Yes, I do!

[Fiona123]

I think I love Fiona, my femme side. She needs to come out more. I need to know her better/she needs to learn about herself. Its hard to describe.

[CynthiaD]

I don't have a femme self. I'm a woman all the time, regardless of presentation.

You can't expect others to like you if you don't like yourself. Yes, I like myself most of the time. Sometimes I can be a real jerk.

And yes, I love the fact that I'm a woman.

[Millie.Graham]

Hi Judy,

I do love my fem self. I like the guy side as well and internally don't really differentiate between the two sides.

I am sorry for your situation. It is a bit like mine. I told my wife about Melissa a couple of years ago and it did not go well at all. I was tired of the stress of suppressing my fem side. Anyway, after our marriage nearly ending and several months of a "wonderful" counselor telling me how I was betraying my wife and God I decided the only way I could survive was that Melissa would have to exist in secret.

I am happy because I can let the whole of me be, even if only on occasion. But the situation brings with it it's own special kind of stresses. Sad my wife doesn't know the full me, I don't like keeping a secret, but if I am going to not implode and die from a stroke or heart attack this is the way it has to be.

Stay strong, keep looking for a solution, you will find something that works for you.

-Melissa

[franlee]

Sure I love myself period no matter the clothes. But I must admit the arousal or rush is more prevalent when in Fran mode. And little things just pass on by leaving me stress free.

[Karen Wilder]

Judy,

I'm so sorry your wife has such a negative reaction to your dressing.

When you say "love" do you mean in love in the way people say "I love ice cream" or in the way people say they feel toward their significant other and children?

I love being dressed and expressing my fem self (ice cream use of love).

[Judy-Somthing]

I would say it's not love like I would run into a burning building to save Miss Judy but, it's definitely stronger than (ice cream LOVE) even (cappuccino chip ice cream)

[TrishaLake]

I am sorry to hear that perhaps going to see someone and talking with them, a couples therapist or the like?

[Teresa]

Judy,
I'm not going to give you hard time over this, all I will add is it will never go away but you knew this all along.

You know I sympathise with you, DADT isn't good you just have to work a way through it.

As for loving yourself in femme mode, again it's not intended to ruffle any feathers but in my case it's AGP, whether it applies to you is for you to decide , all I can say is your wording sounds very familiar .

You know Judy looks too good and has so many nice clothes, you will have to find a way to make it work , best of luck !

[docrobbysherry]

I've always had a hard time separating love and lust------:D

[Stephanie47]

I don't know if "love" is the proper descriptive word. I'm going to be seventy years old this summer. I look like I am not quite seventy, but, I do not look like a young man or a young woman. My face has the proper amount of aging, but, not as aged as many others my age. I would use the descriptive word "comfortable." I am comfortable with who I am. That was a hurdle that had to be jumped many decades ago. Oh, I do like to wear women's clothing. No doubt about it. I only wear dresses. No pants. When my wife and I had "the talk" many many years ago I told her exactly what I knew. "I do not know why I do what I do! My desire to wear women's clothing predates ever meeting you. It has absolutely nothing to do with you!"

I suspect Judy's wife does not understand what cross dressing is all about. But worse, she does not want to learn. I would also suspect there is some degree of insecurity behind her blustery facade. And, there is always some "guilt by association." I'm sure many women believe if her husband's cross dressing did become family or public knowledge, then it becomes "What is wrong with HER! Why does she stay with a man who wears women's clothing?"

If Judy's and her wife want to live to a ripe old age in happy retirement something has to be done. I would suggests marriage counseling with a gender therapist. There is no need for Judy's wife to participate in her cross dressing activities. If Judy is comfortable to wear her clothes in private what's the big deal? The way Judy's life is playing out I really think the road to retirement is going to be really rocky.

There may be a somewhat simpler answer to Judy's plight. She is married to a control freak who throws tantrums when she does not get her way. If you and your wife had sexual relations after so many months of denial, then perhaps she is using sex as a reward to get her way. That is not unheard of!

[Beverley Sims]

Judy,
I think you have a loonggg road to acceptance, I suggest you dress occasionally for short periods and change back when you get a disparaging comment.

Just do it in short bursts and keep the dressing subtle.

It might take a couple of years.

Yes I do love how I look, a lot better than my drab self.

Even my wife is accepting of my fem self as she says I do look more interesting. :-)

[Teresa]

Stephanie,
I didn't want to give Judy another hard time with the comments in your last paragraph, I too have similar feelings because I have experienced it myself. I'm afraid it's in Judy's hands now only she knows the precise reactions her wife might make and what motivates them. It's why I don't think Bev is on the right track, Judy has had grief over a few items being left out, being seen dressed is just going to light the blue touch paper !

[Dana44]

It is said that you must be in love with yourself before you can love another. Indeed, I love my both sides of me. Sometimes the feminine side more and work though that. Judy, I think Beverley has a good answer, just go slow and start adding some tings feminine almost daily and go about you business and if she bucks it. Then talk to her. Find a solution for your issue. She is indeed a control freak. So operate on this principle..

[Karen Wilder]

I would say it's not love like I would run into a burning building to save Miss Judy but, it's definitely stronger than (ice cream LOVE) even (cappuccino chip ice cream)

LOL! Great sense of humor, you could say "Good Humor".

Karen

[Mickitv]

I loved your post. I truly love the feminine side of me. It wasn't always that way but it certainly is now. Although, I don't have circumstances where I can freely express myself in my feminine manner. It is always a special time when I can be that girl.

[Lana Mae]

I love Lana Mae as she is part of me! I love to dress her up and get out as her! Have not dressed for a while and need it bad so I know where you are at with that! Judy, best wishes for a peaceful resolution! Hugs Lana Mae

[TrishaLake]

I couldn't say this 5 years ago but today I love both sides of me!

[TheHiddenMe]

1. I don't believe I have a femme side versus a guy side. It's all one person. I'm a guy who likes to wear woman's clothes from time to time.

2. I decided a long time ago that in most circumstances we can choose our attitude. I choose to be happy (I sure we all know people who aren't happy unless they are unhappy). That type of attitude has worked well for me.

3. As to my wife, she knows I dress, and doesn't like that I go out (in a nutshell, she thinks that if people find out I CD, people will feel sorry for her).

She has told me, "Lie to me." So I do.

I go out when she is out of town, and don't tell her. When she has a few hours out (for example, she will be at bridge from around 9:30 to 2:30), I dress, and make up an excuse (out bike riding, meeting someone from my old work for lunch, etc.), and change back to drab before I come home (and try to make sure I cover my tracks as much as possible). We were at a mall recently and she asked me whether I use the woman's restroom. I lied and said no (I generally try to find a unisex/family restroom, and it that is not available, I use the woman's).

I don't like lying to her. But she doesn't want me to go out dressed, and I want to go out dressed.

The irony is her sister's husband (and she is very close with her sister) ran up a boatload of debts without telling my wife's sister. The issue became large enough for the sister and my brother-in-law to separate for a period. My wife says her sister had her head in the sand about my brother-in-laws' finances, and also blames my brother-in-law for lying to my sister-in-law. In the very same breath my wife wants to me to lie to her about my dressing activities. Again, I would prefer openness, but that is not an option at this time (and to her credit, my wife is quite openminded about a lot of things, but CDing is not one of them).

[Becky Blue]

I love who i am, I feel gifted that I am not a plain boring guy. Being a T person has expanded my world in so many ways, I am so lucky to have such a strong female side and to experience so many things, make such wonderful friends and see the world from such a different perspective. I am one lucky person.