Is it possible to get into dressing if you don't natrually like it?

[Chris_Miss]

Hello, I've dressed a few times in the past but I'm not into it. I guess I have autogynephilia. I find the thought of being a woman erotic sometimes but the actual act of dressing or acting feminine does nothing for me. Pretty much every few years I get a strong urge to dress. I do so, rub one out, and stuff the clothing back into the closet until the next time. I was perfectly fine with this but now that I'm nearing my 40's and I have no interest in marriage or children I'm not opposed to taking my desires are far as they may take me. The only problem Is I have the want but I don't have the urge. Is it possible to make myself feminine? I know there are "hypno videos" but that's just kinky sex stuff. I'm wondering if I can actually get into dressing and make it a part of me. I live a lone so there is nothing stopping me from dressing most of the time.

[deebra]

If the thought of getting dressed and actually wearing women's clothes doesn't get your motor revved up then maybe you are one of the fortunate or unfortunate ones that doesn't have the problems crossdressers do so don't push yourself to be something you are not. Life can be good without CDing.

[Laura912]

You state that you have the want but not the urge and in the next breath ask is it possible to make yourself more feminine. Perhaps you have not yet defined what you really want. There is also some confusion caused by the terms "want" and "urge." If you define those a little clearer, at least to yourself, then you might be able to answer you own question. The answers to your questions will have to come from you anyway. If this is troubling you enough, a counselor can be helpful to you finding your path.

[Stacy Darling]

Can you not do what comes naturally Chris? I would, I do and that's who and what I am.
Maybe just sit back relax and go with whatever may come!
Don't change who you really are though!
Stacy.

[Angie G]

I don't think you can MAKE yourself more feminine it's there or it's not just go with what you feel at the time Chris.:hugs:
Angie

[Stephanie47]

I've said in numerous posts there is more to being a crossdresser than wearing the clothes a woman wears. Anyone can wear the clothes of the opposite sex. It's a mind set that brings a man to wear woman's clothing. In my personal opinion a man wearing women's clothing on Halloween as a lark is not a crossdresser. I think many people fantasize about being a person of the opposite sex or an occupation or just about anything. A man wearing women's clothing during an episode of sexual release does not have the mindset of a crossdresser, IMHO.

I really have to ask the question; Why would you want to make yourself feminine if it does not come naturally? Displaying the mannerism of a woman usually comes after having the innate desire to emulate a woman and wearing the clothes of a woman. I think there is a cart before the horse question arising here.

[Tracii G]

I agree with Stephanie.
You sound very confused more than anything.
If "rubbing one out" is all you want or is your goal then why make your self more feminine?
That would take expensive surgery.
OK you get off sexually wearing womens clothes lots of people do from some of the posts I have read on here.
I think you need to ask yourself what is it I want and what drives these urges.
I doubt you are transgender or a CDer but just someone that has a masturbation fetish.
Maybe all you need is to get a GF and get laid.

[DIANEF]

If you really wanted to do this thing you would be already and not having to ask about it.

[sabrinaedwards]

Growth is an "inside job" and your growth into being more feminine will depend on your desires. Personally, I find crossdressing so addictive! I hope that you achieve your goals. I do like watching feminine hypnosis on Youtube; it's just a fun thing to do.
Love, Sabrina

[Lana Mae]

Chris! We can only advise from our knowledge and experiences but you have to make the decision! You must define want and urge as if you "want" then you should have the "urge" or you do not want it very bad! I quit smoking because I wanted to and the urge was there so it happened! Without the urge you can want but it won't achieve any thing! IMHO Hugs Lana Mae

[LilSissyStevie]

If you aren't compelled to do this, then, why would you want to? The fact that this is just an occasional erotic fantasy just means that you are like the vast majority of other crossdressers. I haven't dressed up in a long time - it's always a disappointment - but I live with so-called AGP everyday. It's easy to start thinking there is more to it because this fetish is much more powerful if you believe its BS. I no longer do. I don't get to choose not to have it so I just live with it and don't take it too seriously. So when when those more "advanced" TG types look down their noses and condemn you for being a "mere" crossdresser with "just" a fetish, breath a sigh of relief and have fun with it.

[Taylor186]

if you really wanted to do this thing you would be already and not having to ask about it.

^^^^ qft ^^^^

[Jodie_Lynn]

"Can you get into something if you're not attracted to it?"

Probably. I mean we humans have a knack for becoming acclimatized to a lot of things. I'm pretty sure that if you forced yourself to dress everyday, and pretended to enjoy it, eventually you would find that you actually do enjoy it. Kind of an acquired taste thing.

But, as others have asked, the more important question is WHY you would want to do it. For many of us (not all!) it is not so much a choice as it is a deep seated need, an obsession to dress & act as the opposite gender. and with the tremendous down sides, it can seem like a curse sometimes.

Not knowing the OP or their personal situation I am going to hazard a guess that this is more of a sexual fetish, a dash of "taboo" erotica, than an actual need to express the feminine, or a desire to move towards transition.

Just my 2 centavos, take from it what you will.

[phili]

Hi Chris,
You may find yourself somewhere in this article by a therapist- http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm Ever since I read it I am much more aware of how different gender dysphoria can be for people- and it might very well be that feminine clothing and grooming is not an issue, since you have strong female identification. Many women don't feel that feminine either! In any case, take a look - it may help give you some perspective on your feelings.
Phil

[Chris_Miss]

If you really wanted to do this thing you would be already and not having to ask about it.

Wow, I didn't realize wearing panties was such serious business.

[DIANEF]

It is for some of us!!:tongueout

[Teresa]

Chris,
I'm not going to dismiss your comment on AGP because I know GD and AGP are at the core of my CDing and has been since the age of 8-9 years.
I've dug much deeper away from the forum and contacted several professionals in this field. My confusion was that it was initially related to TSs, when I queried this I was sent updated work on TGs with AGP, that's when I finally knew I'd found some answers .

To me the male side and the female trait are intertwined with clothes and my sexual needs, I wish to share it with a woman but also wish to be seen and accepted as a woman which is one of AGP traits . It's not all sexual and fetishistic , the point to remember is we may know about these labels the problems come in how to deal with them on a daily basis. My CDing feelings are 24/7, no ebb and flow, I feel much more comfortable with much of it now because I'm going out and meeting people dressed , dressing feels natural and normal, not something to hide away in the closet , I use to call that solitary confinement, now I know what drives me I can see why .

You should be a free as a bird to dress as you choose and become totally comfortable with it, I've had a wife and family to work round and it's only just happening for me in my sixties. If it doesn't feel natural to you ,something else could be driving it or you haven't come to terms with what other people think. Basically how you feel and what you're doing isn't wrong but maybe you just don't understand it all yet .

Please PM me if you want to talk more , AGP is a contentious subject I feel far more people have it but for some reason are afraid to admit it.

[redtea]

Wow someone who is on the similar boat as me. Didn't think i'd find that here.

I started the same way, wanking off with the clothes, then taking them off afterwards. I thought it was entirely sexual until i tried to quit my so called "fetish". After 2 months I couldn't resist anymore, the feelings came back in full force and the excuse "Who am I even trying to please by being so masculine" caused me to relapse.

If I had to guess, CDing is filling the void that not having a girlfriend created.

I think I understand the "want" and "urge" thing. The two are pretty similar.

Wanting is pretty much fantasizing about something and the benefits it would bring.
I want Icecream, Means i fantasize about it's sweetness and vanilla flavoring.

Urge is a driving force that obtains your want.
I want icecream, "and i want it now" is the core essence of Urge. Urge creates feelings of "if i don't get icecream now, I will feel miserable"

It's possible to want icecream but not have the urge to go get it. Right now I want a bowl myself, but that means going to the store, My urge isn't high enough.

Urge is just Want on a stronger level.


"Can i get into dressing and make it apart of me"

Probably not. I mean you can try but if you feel ashamed of it then you will never reach that feeling of "normal" you are hoping for.

[XemmaX]

I think just maybe it's best to not really think too deep into it about whether you should or shouldn't do it. for now i'd say go with the flow unless you feel that's there is a particular problem with what you are doing.