starting to resent my male body?

[drEdge]

CDing is the only way I can see myself as beautiful....

I think as a male I'm gross and ugly but as a female I can be truly beautiful...

Is this normal??

I've been having some gender identity issues lately and I just hate being male! But theres nothing i can do about it :(
i hate my stupid body hair and my stupid male proportions... why couldnt i just have been born female? It's a 50/50 chance... God really blew it...

[JessicaB.]

I actually feel the same way too! Isn't it frustrating? I actually get really jealous when I look at women because my body isn't naturally like theirs. I don't know if it's normal or not, but I'm 100% with you on the way you feel. :)

[Beverley Sims]

Some peoples feelings are more deeply entrenched than others, you may need outside help to resolve your problem.

[jennifer0918]

I feel you gurl, after a wonderful evening as my true femme self I feel like such a bummer to come back to male mode. I wish so much to be female,but with time I snap out of it and back to reality guy mode and look forward to my next outing. Maybe it's time for you to transition? Keep us informed your not alone sister .
Love&Hugs

[Rachelakld]

To me, it's sounds like your a little past the CDing on the spectrum.... since CDing is not about hateing the skinbag.

Sure I have to timeshare the skinbag, but as a chic, when I look in the mirror at my male self, I tend to think it's the type of body I would want in a boyfriend.

[Fiona123]

I very often feel this way. I hate my hairy body.

[LeannS]

Fiona

I am with you on that one
Have on a nice wig, makeup on, eyeliner done, eye candy makeup on, lips ok and what the hell am I suppose to do with you?? I ask my mustache already been fore warned
hell to pay if I do anything with it. Maybe I might just get a little to close to the fire this weekend and burn it off!!! ouch!!

[Tracii G]

God made you the way you are for a reason don't be mad at him.
I had all those same feelings so GF you haven't cornered the market on that at all.
You are more normal than you know LOLOL.
It takes a while to figure it all out and its up to you to sort it out and make the best of your life.
If I can do it I know you can to.

[Jenna Stunned]

Sounds like your getting a touch of gender dysphoria. If it starts to get serious or persists you might want to talk to a therapist who deals with transgender issues. Might be a good idea anyway, If its an option.

Good luck, hope things work out.

EDIT...
Wanted to ask your age? Your profile pic suggests fairly young? If so I would DEFINITELY recommend talking with a professional who deals in transgender issues soon. If, And a big IF at this point, Transitioning might be in your future its better to do it when your young!!

[Lana Mae]

Leann, the mustache got the mange and fell out!
drEdge: I am mostly male and accept it, but the female is screaming to get out! Do you plan to transition? Best wishes on your journey! Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

I will say at 25 you are still in that "rage " stage of life.
I was that way too always pissed at the world and thinking everyone was against me and trying to break me down.
That thinking got me into a lifestyle that was very unforgiving and violent.Rage and hate are not cool. You need to understand your life is up to you to change if you don't like the situation you are in, don't blame others for your situation that is all on you.
Once you can harness the good and toss out the hate and anger the better off you will be.
Dress and be you and live the life you want to live.

[Nikki A.]

I feel bummed having to go back to drab, but I don't know if I hate my body. I enjoy being able to transform myself using shapeware and makeup and the variety of clothing that I can wear dressed.
I see that you're pretty new here, take your time, there is a lot of good advice and lots of experience on this forum

[phili]

Yes you are normal- see this article
http://www.avitale.com/developmentalreview.htm
and part of the wide normal spectrum you see on the forum.
I can say that I never didn't like my body, but I did wish it to be a girl's until I realized I can feel exactly girlish with my body as is. That has really helped. I realize other's don't see a cute girl when they look at me, but when I feel it, I don't care if they do or don't!

[Tama]

Some of us (me) aren't sure what we are... I don't think one single day in my life have I known for sure what part of the M--F balance I am sitting on..
There are times I am dressing continuously, then other times I don't or can't. I just try to be happy with wherever I am at...
Given time (patience) you'll get it sorted out...

[prene]

Lot of us feel the same way.

I wish I was born a female

[Becky Blue]

Very normal for many people on here I'd say, its GD. Me, I love how I look when i'm Becky. I wouldn't say I hate my male body, I hate my body hair and dislike my male shape.

[redtea]

so GD is something you can pick up over time? That's pretty scary.

[DIANEF]

I don't really hate my male body at all, but I do hate having to go back to it when my Diane time is over. I'm fortunate in being fairly short by male standards, hair free (mostly) and I'm slim but I've worked hard on that, so my body I can accept. Of course I'd much rather have the curves and shape of a woman but I have to live with what I've got.

[Kate Simmons]

I've always felt we are who and what we are for a reason. Regardless of the reason, it shouldn't stop our creativity and ability to have fun when we get en femme. Enjoying being ourselves is the most important thing. :battingeyelashes::)

[Teresa]

drEdge,
As others have said, maybe you should look into it and see if it's GD, if it gets worse maybe you are on the start of the transition road.

OK most of us hate body hair, I just accept now that I shave face, chest and legs everyday, so they feel how I prefer them all the time, my legs do get a lot of complements which is something totally unexpected in guy mode . The bits I hate are dealing with back hair and ear hair, I hate doing rough jobs because I want nice nails all the time , I hate the ageing process on my hands and arms. Since I lost 28lbs I'm totally happy with my body shape, I can naturally fit into most UK size 12 clothes with just a little extra in my bra , I can go out with a fair degree of acceptance.
None of us are perfect male or female some people are far worse off in other parts of the World so I try and content myself with that thought.

[JeanTG]

I loathe my body, in its natural state. It wasn't until I started shaving it that I got a significant measure of relief from the dysphoria. I have small natural breasts, and fortunately, small genitals. Without the body hair my body image is far more congruent with my inner reality. It's probably as far as I will ever go towards transition, save for perhaps getting rid of facial hair. It's not perfect but the shaving has helped my find a balance so I feel much less crazy.

[Karyn Marie]

I know exactly how you feel. I so wish I had been born female, and have felt that way since I was a young child...less than 5. Of course, this was totally NOT accepted in those days. I would give anything to wake up female, in a different body. I look at GG's and wish everyday I was her, and wonder why I was born into this body. I am planning a full transition, and am seeing a therapist. She has been wonderful.

[Sandy Storm]

I personally LOVE my male body, as 250 lb power lifter I absolutely love all the respect I get no matter where I Geaux in this country..but I would Luv to be hairless, except I do grow a mean beard when I want to, which I am sorting a 12 inch long one right now (and yes I will dress with a beard) but I absolutly love being in tune with my femme side also

[Rachelle70]

I feel the same, I look in the mirror sometimes and wonder why I am looking at what I see.
Somehow I suppose we need to feel good with who we are, how we are shaped, etc

The best place to know you aren't alone and to feel better about yourself is here!

[Karyn Marie]

You are so right Rochelle. Very well put.

[nikkiwindsor]

Oh, I feel exactly the same way. In boy mode, I cannot stand looking in the mirror. When transformed, I'm so comfortable and content with who I am and completely at ease seeing myself in the mirror. And I absolutely hate changing back. I get somewhat melancholy every time I return. It's really a downer. Yuck!

[Alice Torn]

I struggle with that, too, drEdge, but not as bad as when i was a teen/20's. I still do not like that i have become almost bald, and have frizzy male hair that is impossible to keep in place, so i shaved my head last week. I do not like being hairless, either. But, i have grown to accept that which i cannot control more. In my gray or blonde wig, I look more attractive, as a senior lady, but even then, my chin sticks way out, big brow, huge hands, huge feet, Adam's apple, voice. Slowly, i have accepted my guy side more . He is a hard worker, sensitive to others needs, and a bit like Alice.

[sweetmelody]

It's difficult to look at my male self. Due to surgery, I have lost a considerable amount of weight, but now have the excess skin. It's impossible to hide in male mode except baggy clothes. When I dress, I can use a corset and hose, to hide it all. An added bonus to the weight loss is that I can now create some incredible cleavage! Great in fem mode, not so much in guy mode.

[KrissyCD]

Oh, I feel exactly the same way. In boy mode, I cannot stand looking in the mirror. When transformed, I'm so comfortable and content with who I am and completely at ease seeing myself in the mirror. And I absolutely hate changing back. I get somewhat melancholy every time I return. It's really a downer. Yuck!


Exactly how I feel. I think getting better at hair and makeup have made the change back worse.

[Brandy Mathews]

I agree. I am a male that loves to try to look like a female. And I agree with Jessica, I look at a beautiful female and wish so much that I had her body. So yes, I totally understand. And I agree, I am heterosexual, but I have got to admit that I don't think about things as if I am a female.
Hugs,
Bree ;)

[Nikkilovesdresses]

When I caught a glimpse of my hairy back in a mirror I nearly threw up. I hate my facial stubble, chest and leg hair etc, but I've had many decades to get used to that. This was a whole new shock.

[prene]

Guys are hard, hairy (YUCK) and like a Jeep.

A female body is a work of art, smooth, curvy, soft ... that can be beautiful

[sometimes_miss]

I'm going to have to chip in, that most women are unhappy with their bodies, also. Leafing through any fashion magazine, lots wish they looked like the models on the pages. So we've got lots of company. BAck when I was married and going through all the CD discussions with my wife, she had taken my pin up calender and asked me if I could, would I want to look like the pic of Paulina Poriskova. To which one of my questions back, was, 'Well, wouldn't you?'. Of course the response was 'That's different and you know it'. But my point was made. Most of us believe that if we looked different, at least some of our problems would automatically be resolved. Which may be true, but with it, come a different set of problems. Try to keep it in perspective. BTW, I don't like my body either. Scar from facial surgery, teeth shifted because of an extracted eye tooth (so I have ONE middle tooth instead of two, I feel like a cyclops sometimes when I first meet someone, I always am very self conscious about whether the person is looking at my mouth), along with a few other problem spots.

[rockerreds]

My male body is fine- I just wish I had breasts and a vagina, then I'd be what I was supposed to be.

[XemmaX]

i dont resent my male body really at all except for my height. it makes me feel really selfconscious sometimes when im out an about.

[Dana44]

I have a love relationship with my masculine and my feminine side. I was born this way. But as I am getting older it is hitting me harder because of trying to stuff it down most of my life. and I am semi retired now. Alas she iis part of me now and I love it. But when i am male love that too. But I am male less often now.