My saturday- a life changing moment

[Princess29]

On this saturday just gone, after a very stressful time lately, I guess I thought I hadn't had enough to try and handle because although I don't know if I ever planned on doing this but I ended up telling my mother about my crossdressing even though I gave her two chances to not know before I told her as I couldn't "un-say it" but she said to continue and so I told her. She had a few questions obviously and is trying to get her head around it and said how now certain things make sense that she has noticed but never asked about but after she talked to my dad (they are married but dad was off doing something else when I told her) but they have been so supportive since I told them and they have said that as far as they are concerned, there is nothing different as to how they feel about me and it's business as usual.
I said that I don't plan on dressing any differently around them and ultimately, the only thing that has changed is now they know.
I am strictly a part time girl and have no plans for that to change but now, a major hurdle has been cleared and so I no longer have to worry about them finding out.

After that big morning (and then combined with something unrelated later), I was emotionally spent around 6pm and so I went to bed but have had a clearer head since.

Melissa

[Fiona123]

I admire your strength. It took a lot of courage to come out like that.

[Stacy Darling]

Very happy to hear that your head is clearer since, Melissa! It is exhausting when you tell someone but luckily for some of us there is some relief afterward, hope your relationship continues to be supportive and doesn't change too much.
Best of luck with it all!
Stacy

[phili]

Just keep on telling one person at a time- just a few people accepting us helps a lot! Especially family. And those we tell are part of our real family, too.

[IleneD]

Bless your heart, Melissa.
What a wonderful gift to give yourself, your parents and those who know you. The gift of freedom. The honesty.
Perhaps best of all is your capacity to be honest with yourself. I came of age and experienced most of adulthood at a time and in a culture that treated all of "this" (CD) as a sickness, perversion or mental problem. I spent a lot of time denying my own nature, hiding it and being ashamed there was always something wrong with me; the thought parked in the back of my mind. Darling, it's another part of the gift to know who you are.
You go.

[Becky Blue]

Well done Melissa, so glad it went so well for you!

[Krea]

Hi Melissa,
It takes a lot of strength to come out to someone close to you & it's great that it went so well. You have really supportive parents.
Be happy! Nic :)

[KymG]

Well done for having the courage to discuss it, and a great outcome. Coming out really drains you.

[Stephanie47]

Happy you have sane parents. I read your bio which indicates at least four decades on this planet. That should have given your parents ample time to figure out who you are as a human being, and, wearing a dress on occasion should not adversely affect their belief. It is amazing to me when I read about people thrown out of the door or a relationship broken after decades because a little secret is revealed.

[Princess29]

I had discussed with my sister years ago about whether or not to tell them and we both thought there was no real advantage to doing it and I sure didn't plan on doing it on saturday.

[Tracii G]

OK so now they know so my question is are you trans or just a CD?

[Princess29]

Tracii, I told them that for ages, I didn't know if I wanted to transition or go full time etc but I don't believe that is the case. As it stands now, I am strictly a part time girl and don't see that changing but you don't know how you might feel on an issue in the future.
That brings me back to why I hadn't done it before. If I was going to transition, I would have to at some point but as I don't see that happening, I didn't see that there was any real advantage to doing it

[Lana Mae]

When you get a positive reaction, it is so worth it! Happy for you that it worked out so well! Hugs Lana Mae

[MBStone]

That was so brave. I hope that things will continue to get closer with your parents and you. :daydreaming:

[docrobbysherry]

Princess, I'm curious. U don't mention whether or not u live with your parents. If u don't, don't plan to dress around them, aren't going to transition, why did u feel the need to tell them?

I feel telling folks that must keep your secret a burden. It certainly has been for my daughter and ex!:doh:

(I had to tell them because I live with my daughter full time now.):brolleyes:

[Tracii G]

If you told them that for ages did they not believe you at the time?
Why did you have to tell them again?
I'm confused here.

[Krea]

Tracii, I think Melissa means that she told them the other day that "for ages she hadn't known if she wanted to transition".

I misread it at first as well!

Nic :)

[GretchenM]

Melissa,

You should be very proud of what you did. It was honesty at its best. Bless you.

You say that you see no real advantages to transitioning and that you view yourself as a part time girl. That tends to be a sign of a person who is strongly gender fluid. Like you, I seriously considered transition but in the end rejected it because I was "part time" and so no real advantage. In fact, I thought it would mostly reverse my current situation - reasonably male/masculine most of the time, and feminine part of the time. Both are present. To transition one needs to be gender reversed most or all of the time. Nevertheless, transition is still on the bucket list even though it is on the bottom. Don't rule it out. I like that you qualify your description with "for now." That too is honest and realistic.

Gretchen

[AlissaMurray]

You are so lucky! My mother and I have always been close even though she lives 1200 miles away. I once drove a truck and we talked for hours and hours about everything under the sun, she is not only my mom but once one of my closest friends. When I finally came clean to her just a few months ago she flipped out, it was not a pretty situation. After the big "I raised a son not a daughter" speech she continued to tell me how she hasn't much cared for my 21 year old daughter since she was around 8. I'M SORRY, my daughter is single, drives a new car, is really smart, has a good job and is as cute as tiny little blonde can be. This is Daddy's little girl you are talking about... So between her bashing me for telling her I am a closet cross dresser and bashing my daughter for no good reason, we have not spoken since. My best friend passed on, my birthday came and went. Her birthday and Mothers day passed. We haven't spoken a word. I am her only son and I am not sure at this point exactly how all of this will be resolved but I am still pissed and hurt. I think she owes me a big apology and I am willing to bet she thinks the same thing. But what would I be apologizing for? Being me? I don't think so.

[bridget thronton]

You have great parents Princess

[mechamoose]

Truth is always best. It might cost you, but lies cost you more when it is all tallied up.

Good for you having the courage to get past being squeamish. You are YOU, and you don't *ever* need to apologize for that. Your integrity matters more than anyone's opinion.

<3

- MM

[Princess29]

Until 2009, I still lived with my parents and did a lot of the cliche crossdressing things around the place while they were out for a few hours or had gone away for a few days etc but since then, I have lived by myself.
I can dress whenever I want and even with being in a relationship with a GG for over year which she recently ended, I didn't have to hide it around her as she knew about Melissa before we even got together. After telling her about my big reveal on saturday (this was the first contact I'd had with her since she ended it), she dropped a clanger of a comment of "now you just need to find a girlfriend who will love melissa and boy me" and that comment from her was just too much from me to handle combined with the rest of the day and so just after 6pm, I went to bed.
It has been a cause of frustration that living where I do (yes, of course I can move and live somewhere else obviously but there will always be neighbours) in an apartment building that if I want to go out dressed up, I had been worried about what, if anything my neighbours might do and being terrified of my parents finding out.
Now, at least I have taken them finding out, out of the equation and I was talking to one of my neighbours the other day and he said it's none of his business what I do and it won't change anything between us. People have been saying for years to just ignore them, just do your own thing etc and that is completely true of course but everyeone has their own obstacles to overcome and they are all equally valid and important and although of course, I should have done it years ago, at least I am doing it now.
I know that most of my neighbours just plain old won't care how I dress and there really is only one guy who is a bit of a busybody.

Also, I figured what have I got to lose? (although I was risking alienating the people who care about me the most and have been amazing while I deal with my issues lately) I already spend most time away from work by myself. Nobody contacts me to go out somewhere and when I get home from work during day shifts, I do a few jobs and then think "okay, now what?" and it doesn't seem to make a difference on dating websites if I mention about crossdressing anyway as nobody responds.
I have been lost and aimless for much of my life and I thought things had finally fallen into place with the relationship but as John Lennon said, "life is what happens while you are busy making other plans".
This change doesn't address the issue of doing things by myself but one life changing step at a time


Melissa