Am I being tested?

[Judy-Somthing]

When I came home today my wife called me into the living room where she was holding a large plastic bag.
She then proceeded to empty the contents onto the sofa.
It was a large quantity of bras, girdles, all-in-one briefers.

At first I thought she found part of my stash I may have forgotten about.

She went on to say "can you believe my mother want me to donate her underwear to the VETS?"

Well she put everything back into bag and in the barrel outside.

Wow vintage Girdles, is she testing me to see if I grab them out of the trash? OMG LOL

I think they were sprinkled with Pink-Fog!

[Rogina B]

I hope you grabbed the bag..Someone can use them.

[Jaylyn]

Judy I wouldn't know what to do. Maybe tell her you'll take them to the mission in town n then stash them with your other stash..... Dang I guess it's a good problem to have. Either way it's a hard decision to make.... Might be better to just forget about and act like you don't care. ( just don't let her throw them away) or at least see you getting them out of the trash later... Lol good luck.

[Fiona123]

Just reading that story triggers the pink fog. I couldn't blame you a bit for keeping the bag.

[Tina_gm]

Possibly, but this also is a normal occurrence in marriages. You have said you have quit, for months now, so yeah I can see this as a test to what you have told her. Doesn't mean that it is, but it might be. I will say though if she gets into the business of taunting you that's way wrong. I would think if you were trying to quit she would make it easier, not harder for you. NOT THAT I am associating CDing with drinking, but.... when it comes to the quitting part, imagine a guy quitting alcohol, and his wife comes home with a whole bunch of bottles of alcohol and says look at all of this stuff that I have to give away. That's truly mean spirited, at least to me it would be. So, if she is "testing you" it is being done in a very mean and vindictive way.

[Judy-Somthing]

Not that I want to wear my mother in-law's girdles (or do I) but most of you know that vintage girdles are worth quite a bit on eBay.
I would say the lot is worth at least $150.

This is Bad! Now I'm thinking I have to keep the animals away from the trash for three days.
Why are the girdles sprinkled with Pink-Fog?

[Teresa]

Judy,
If you still have enough of your own things I wouldn't go near them ! I suspect she is testing you otherwise why would she empty the bag in front of you,she would have put them straight in the bin, you can bet your life she will check the bin before it's collected.

OK if you want to start to make a stand then find some other way and don't get into a fight over your mother in law's underwear it isn't worth it, if you do she may not ever let it go and use it to continually ridicule you.

Sorry to me they aren't sprinkled with pink-fog dust ,they are more sprinkled with trouble ! After your last comments about you wife being the strong one and no walk over, I think she has it in her to set you a trap. If this is the case and the way things are going to be then you really have got to do something to change it , like I said before I don't think she is going to let it go until she has it all her own way.

[Lana Mae]

TRAP! Hugs Lana Mae

[cdtraveler]

Trap perhaps are familiar enough with your sory however maybe if it isna test turn it into.an opportunity? Simply explain that you taking those items in means you don't have to go but them new.someplace.else!? Just a thought.

[Sara Jessica]

Used underwear = bad

Used mother-in-law's underwear = worse

From there, in the immortal words of Admiral Akbar, "It's a TRAP"!

[Jodie_Lynn]

I'm not saying it's a trap, but....


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[Dana44]

Judy. It is a trap. Don't fall in. It is a trap. so don't go get those girdles. Or you will regret it. .

[Aunt Kelly]

It smells like a trap. It also smells like a rather dysfunctional relationship. How you deal with this is your business, but my suggestion is that you do deal with it, somehow.
If it were me, I'd rescue the garments, with the intention of putting them on ebay, or just donating them to a suitable charity thrift, but... I'd also put in their place a note. Something along the lines of, "So what, exactly, were you hoping to prove with this manipulative stunt? BTW, I've rescued the clothes you pretended to throw away. I intend see that they are put to good use", intentionally leaving out any specifics of what that use might be. But that's just me. I don't like being manipulated and will give as good as I get in such games.

[Tracii G]

She planned that so don't take any of the items.
Women don't go to the bathroom with out a plan so I'm sure its a trap.
Look its obvious she thinks you are stupid, she doesn't care about you and she is looking for a way to get rid of you so give up dressing and screw up her well laid plans.
I would be the biggest thorn in her side but thats just me I hate being screwed with like that @ yes I have been thru two bad marriages so I know how far women will go.

[Genny B]

I can't believe not one member has asked for the address....

Genny B

[jennifer0918]

Donate to the vets.

[alwayshave]

Definitely a trap. I would avoid it.

[GretchenM]

I think it is a trap and test. I agree with Tracii G's view. It is part of a plan. You might want to foil her. Take them out of the trash, and then, with her in tow, take them to the Vets donation site and donate. You are honoring your mother in law's wishes which your wife was not willing to do.

[5150 Girl]

Well for &150, I say E-bay! Then take that money and buy something new!
Knowing what they were worth on E-Bay, as she was taking them to the trash, I'd have been like "What are you doing?!?! Do you know what we could get for that on E-Bay?!?!?!" IDK how you feel about such things, but I could follow up with, "you know I'm not after it for myself 'cause I don't do used underwear." (but I have a rep for being finicky) OR you could follow up with something about it being creepy wearing underwear from family.
Now that they've made it to the trash though, go get it out, list it on e-bay, (and maybe keep one or two little items for yourself first. I'm sure she didn't inventory the bag) and say "hey! I just found out we can make $100 E-bay'n this stuff!"

[Erin Lafleur]

There is no way this isn't a trap Judy. Your so would not have made such a production out of emptying the bag in front of you if it wasn't. Also, (I'm assuming your mother in law recently passed), why would the bag just contain bras, girdles and panties? Was your mother-in law specific enough to donate only her delicates and not all of her clothes, shoes etc? Why the distinction? Seems highly unlikely to me that she would have been that specific in her wishes.
My guess is that at some time in the past, you have mentioned your affinity for vintage lingerie, girdles etc. and this seems like a very mean spirited, manipulative attempt to exploit those interests. I would also guess that she intends to monitor the trash in some way (perhaps a nosy neighbor, being home or secretly coming home prior to it being collected etc.) Don't fall for it, you'll regret it.
There is also the ick factor to be considered. I love vintage lingerie as much as the next person but I would never and could never wear second hand intimates and the fact that they are your mother-in-laws is far more than most would be prepared to understand. I could no more wear my mother-in-laws intimates as fly to the moon, and I love vintage lingerie. Most would view that as untoward at the very least. I also think that you may want to rethink the whole E-Bay thing. I can't imagine that $150 is that important to anyone, certainly not compared to the inevitable fallout and risk to follow. Some things are just not worth it.
Lastly, the pink fog as we all know, is not necessarily a good thing. It's called a fog for a reason. We don't always make the most rational choices when we are under the influence in my opinion. We've all been there. Leave it alone, your downside is much starker than any perceived benefit to either you as a whole or most certainly, your relationship. Just my .02...

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Judy

You might want to be use a plan of your own. Suggest that when you are both out together the bag can be dropped of at the vets.

However you may want to suggest that vintage clothing is worth money on ebay and see what she says.

It may give you more leverage in debate if she knows you are not tempted to just take the clothes.

[~Joanne~]

It most certainly is a trap. She took the time to dump the bag in front of you instead of just putting it right into the trash. Trap or not, I would most certainly be pulling the bag out of the trash area. money is money and if you don't want any of it for yourself I would certainly sell it.

[Stephanie47]

Judy, your post made me laugh my ass off. What a cloak and dagger marriage you have. It's a trap! She knows you cross dress. You know she knows you cross dress. Keep the drama going. Go out there and retrieve said articles of vintage clothing. Piss her off more. It really cannot get any worse....or can it?

Why don't you post the location of your trash can on Craig's list with a description of the contents? I'm sure there will be cross dressers knocking on your door looking to see if he or she was the first there. Let your wife answer the door. Smile as she blows a fuse. This is too much for a Sunday morning.

PS: Before my wife and I entered our three decades long DADT she accused me retrieving a nightgown from the garbage. Heck, she was a 34B and I'm a 42C. It wouldn't fit. And, I'm way past retrieving panties from the laundry hamper. :)

[Amelie]

I was walking down the street when I looked into an alley and saw a polka dot bra. It had a string tied to it so I thought it was a trap,, but,, but,, it was polka dot.

See if your wife tied a string to the bag, that will be a sign it is a trap.

[Stacy Darling]

It may just well be time for testing your wife!
You! need to stop this.

That's what I'm doing!
Stacy!

[giuseppina]

Hello Judy,

Yes, you are being tested, but I think the chances are good you knew before asking.

IMO you are asking for trouble if you rescue any of it.

Used bottom underwear must, by law, go in the trash where I live.

[Brandy Fromdaburg]

If you are serious about quiting you should explain to your wife about crossdressing triggers and the temptation that they cause.
If she does know about triggers then what she did was mean.

[JenniferR771]

Of course, she showed it to you on purpose. She expects you to take the girdles. That is cooperation--in my mind. Take her out to dinner or buy her something nice. Flowers maybe--or a new car.
Or, if you think she is a bit vindictive--take the stuff and substitute something disgusting. Got a handful of spiders? Dead snake? Some ripe road kill? Get pictures, OK?
Still be ready to give up the old girdles--in case she makes a big issue about it. You can buy your own, later.

[Alice Torn]

Trap, Frame, Sting Op, Entrapment, testing you? I kind of think so. Kind of mean of her.

[Tracii G]

Relations ships with women are a constant Psy ops.
Always trying get you to slip up so she can drop the D word on you.
I would not be inclined to play her game and just not pay attention to her and her demands.

[sometimes_miss]

I say ebay as well. May as well make some money, and potentially make one of us happier. I had a very nice Sears all in one, with hook & eye/zipper front closure, that I tossed away long ago, and haven't ever seen one like it anywhere since. So, don't just toss it. make someone else's life happier, even if you can't take it, yourself.

Oh yeah, and it's a trap.

[Tracii G]

Sell the stuff or donate it.

[DIANEF]

Very tempting as they might be I personally would leave them alone.

[Paige Dehart]

As Far as she knows you quit, you purged and you're done. The truth is you haven't, you didn't fully and you're not.
I don't know anything about your wife and your relationship with her except what you have posted, but to answer your question, the way I see it is, yes you are being tested. Sure you could tell her that they could be sold on ebay since they are vintage clothing, but that could cause problems you may not want to deal with at this time. If it were me I'd leave them where they are. Sprinkled in pink fog or not they are just not worth it.
Personally I believe what she did was wrong and shows a lack of trust and faith in you.

[Leslie Langford]

Of course, it's a trap. But take the stash anyway, and let your wife have her worst suspicions confirmed.

It would serve her right for trying to set you up and entrap you in this way. If she wants to play her version of Mad Magazine's "Spy v. Spy" with you in this manner, then go the distance with her and see who cries "Uncle!" first.

Bullies deserve to be called on their B.S., and based on your past posts, that is clearly what your wife is - and an unyielding control freak to boot.

[Judy-Somthing]

I believe in being honest on this site. I tried PortraitPro and found it to look unnatural and that heavy stick makeup with contouring and good lighting look much beter.

Well back to the Girdles in the trash. Well I thought about them all night, OK shoot me!
When the wife was in the shower I looked through the bag. About 15 items, pretty worn but three were mint and about 30 years old.
An all-in-one, a very sexy OB girdle, and a very nice strapless bra of course I took the three best items and put the rest back, and hopefully she didn't count them.

Does this mean I'm a Cross-dresser?

[Tracii G]

You know she counted them and probably knows in which manner they were arranged in the bag.
She probably checked them several times thru out the day to see if you got into them.
Her trap has been set and you fell right in so what are you going to do now?
If she gets pissed oh well its all on you because you couldn't keep your hands off them.
Let us know if it was worth it.

[Invisible Emily]

You should do whatever suits you best, but it sounds like a trap to me. I think even taking a few items will be noticed just based on the other responses I've seen. Hope it all goes okay.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Are your playing us off against your wife ?

I can't understand why you are so openly playing with fire , you may be a crossdresser but an alive one or a dead one ?

I'm hoping this is going to be you making a stand on how you truly feel about your CDing, it's either that or you're some kind of masochist !

[MsKim2888]

My, my the suspense , the cloak and dagger. Its definitely a trap, I might be wrong but I wish you best of luck....

[mykell]

I'm not saying it's a trap, but....


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if it walks like a duck or it talks like a duck......well its a duck....

[LeannS]

put the items in her drawer along with a dead rat!!

sorry yes I am vindictive

[phili]

Perhaps it is a kind offer to pick through it. But if you feel it is some kind of test- then test back by asking casually about the bag of clothes and see what the feeling of the response is. Isn't the goal to get to a point of equilibrium- DADT, or acceptance, or strict closet- whatever works between you?

[Krea]

Oops Judy, can't believe you did that! :eek: It certainly sounded like a setup by your wife.
Hope you have prepared yourself for the explosion which will follow if she has caught you out.
Wishing you good luck, you may need it!
Nic :)

[Cheryl T]

Yeah, it's not a good idea to donate undies, even if they've been washed.
Unless of course it's between family members.... ;) If it's a test then I hope you passed.

[donnalee]

It was a trap and you walked into it with a big shit-eating grin on your face.

The thing I find horrifying is that so many here seem to consider this a normal part of married life, apart from a few who exhibited at least a little defiance.
This is someone you've pledged to love, honor and cherish and the normality of it is these crappy mind games. It has become obvious that marriage no longer has any real meaning in today's social fabric and any thinking person should re-examine their conception of it.

Oh, and mother-in-law's used underwear- icky,icky,ICKY!!!

[lingerieLiz]

Don't know if it a trap. BUT IF YOU GET CAUGHT WITH THEM IN YOUR STASH IT WILL BE WORSE THAN IF BEING YOURS.
Your wife will feel violated, think that you are turned on by her mother and the list goes on. Much worse than her finding YOUR lingerie.

[Judy-Somthing]

Well the trash is on the street and will be picked up before she wakes up in the morning, it appears she wasn't taunting me.
I love the finish look of fem fully with a dress on but I also love what foundation garments with hip pads and breast forms can do!

Wow can you imagine how I felt when she dumped the foundation garments on the coach?
I would say I'm not trying to stop dressing, I'm just trying to keep her happy.

Today I asked her "why did you shave down there and not let me be part of it? I asked you for years to shave it."
She said it's her life and she'll do what she wants.

I thought wow, she can do what she wants but I can't. WTF

[Lauri K]

Judy,

If you ask me your wife is sending a signal out that she is moving on without you.

I have been through divorce, I can tell you when the wife is suddenly cleaning out drawers, organizing clothes, dressing better, hair done twice as often, acting aloof or what the heck I think I will just shave my vagina today............after all this time I am very suspicious.

Wish I had better news but this sounds like a glass pane with lots of cracks forming...................

I am no help here, but something is very strange in this affair, glad the garbage pick up went off OK. I would have salvaged OB girdle too.

[AmandaM]

This is terrible. I suggest that you and your wife have to get things out in the open. I don't like the shaving part. Is she doing it for herself? Or another guy? Or in anticipation of another guy? You need to know where you stand.

[Paige Dehart]

Today I asked her "why did you shave down there and not let me be part of it? I asked you for years to shave it."
She said it's her life and she'll do what she wants.

This would have been the perfect time to say well if that's the case then I can too. Color me suspicious but I think she may be up to something. I agree with Amanda you two need to get things out in the open so you know where you stand.

[Teresa]

Judy,
Somehow from you previous threads and this current one, from what you have told us you are heading for a major incident with your wife, either that or your not being totally straight with us.

She is testing you to the limit and you keep falling for it, it's a case of do as I say not as I do otherwise you could be out the door.

I always thought I was a patient person but the way I felt about my CDing I would be saying it's my body , my mind and I need to satisfy it's needs, and see how she takes it. If you take a bully on they will back down , you have to get some respect from her about your CDing needs, at the moment she appears to think it's a game you're playing (and I must admit I get the that impression as well when I read some of your replies ) so it's something you can drop and never go back to it.

[Judy-Somthing]

Teresa,

At this point I don't know If I'll dress again but I think the desire will come back.
If or when it comes back strong enough to the point I can't resist at that point I'll have to tell her.

[Jodi]

Good luck Judy. Whether you dress again or not, be prepared for a life of hell. She will find other things to throw in your face when she can't throw the cd,ing.

It's your life. I chose not to put up with that crap from my ex, and glad I did so. Life is so much better today without her

Only you can choose to be happy or miserable.

jodi

[Teresa]

Judy,
I'm sorry I've been outspoken , I wish I could change your situation , it was very much like mine, but I couldn't ebb and flow with it so I had to push to the limits and beyond. It's a fine dividing line between genuine needs and feeling selfish , but we have a life as well, and being continually unhappy had to change. It's not perfect and I guess it never will be.

What I'm trying to say is fight a little harder but be organised and have answers, go to counselling if it truly helps you even if you do it alone as I did. As I've said before going out socially was a huge hurdle but it's earned me respect with my wife and family, for a husband and father to go out dressed as a woman has got to be a deep need to satisfy .

[Roxy]

Hi Judy,
I agree with most of the comments and you were being tested. The test may have end when you let her throw everything in the trash. It sounds like you still have few things to work out with yourself and your wife.
That being said, I would have done the exact same thing. My attraction to vintage foundations (just purchased a longline and OBG set for $90) can drive me to do some somewhat foolish things.
Hugs

[char GG]

Just my guess, but I believe your wife found out after 35 years of marriage? If so, maybe you will have to give her 35 years to adjust.