What do I do?

[janelle]

Hi ladies, saw my shrink 2day & i wore bra, panties knee hi's, jeans & a sweater top.LIp gloss, perfume & a little mascara. The Dr. was impressed how comfortable i was but wondered where my wig, purse & the rest of my make up was. Said i wasn't ready to take the chance of meeting peolpe i know that work at the hospital,& she was ok with that. Now to the meat of this, after the appointment i stopped at bridal shop(used) & asked what she had. She had several nice choices but said without the bride it would be hard to fit, i said it was for me. Her jaw dropped & a small laugh but than she bent over backwards to help me. We finially saw one i liked & she asked if i wanted to try it on, so i did. She ended up zipping me up, & the feeling i had i can't describe. Anyways this is the problem. I would like to buy the dress but my wife is still coming to terms with my dressing & i know she will have a bird if i ask to spend 200.00 for a wedding dress that i may never get to use accept around the house. So what does a girl do?? I felt so lovely, & beautiful in it but don't need to upset the cart so to speak. Guess i'm being left at the alter.
Thanks for your input girls, tons of love, take care.
Janelle

[Kimberley]

Oh I think I would spend the $200 on a few other things (with the wife's approval of course) and go back for more "fittings" every once in a while.

Since she is still coming to terms with your CDing, discretion might be the better part of valour unless you want shared sleeping arrangements with the dog in the garage....:)

There will always be more gowns but maybe not another wife....

Kimberley

[Petrina CD]

Ask if you can put the dress on lay away!

[uknowhoo]

I agree with Kimberley's sage advise.

I know it's hard, but we have to keep our priorities, despite our desires... unless or until the dressing is more important to you than your marriage.

Good luck, hun.

Hugs,

Tammi

[Ava Mouse]

Janelle,

Ava has her own account, about $50/paycheck, which gets direct deposited. If your wife is concerned with $, this is a route I recommend. I add bonuses and cash from side jobs, too.

I can spend it on anything I want. If I want a $200 dress, I just save. Mostly, it's Goodwill or consignment boutique stuff, but that's OK with me! :D

I do, however take loans from the main budget now & then... LOL... ;)

Shopping/spending is my weakness... ulp!

[trannie T]

How much have you spent on your wife lately?

[JoannaDees]

Ask yourself why is a wedding dress so important? Also, ask yourself if your wife will ever understand. I doubt it. I don't understand myself. That desire just seems to really impinge on "her" world. What do you really want? Can you be satisfied with clothes, or does it require more?

I guess I ask this because I really don't understand your desires. I have zero interest in wedding dresses and such, but that's me, and I don't judge. But I do think it really cuts to the core of your wifes world. I guess you just take it really slow, bring out little things now and then. A wedding dress is a BIG thing ... just think how much of a girls life is planning that perfect wedding and having the most beautiful dress. Have the wedding ... dry clean it ... wrap it up in plastic for all eternity ... maybe pull it out for her daughter or g-daughter.

Just guessing here ...............

[janelle]

I see all your points.
TrannieT. i just bought her @150.00 worth of things she said she needed or whated which is cool. she did do some looking at things for me but didn't offer & i didn't push.
JoannaDees, i never thought that i would be taking something away from her. i thought it would be cool if we could renew our vows as brides somewhere down the road. I think i'll put it on hold till i really find out how she feels about it.
Thanks girls hugs to you all.
Janelle

[jo_ann]

search around on ebay. a lot of brides don't bother wasting space keeping their dress after they've worn it (especially if it wasn't that expensive to begin with), or brides get cold feet and have to ditch the dress.

[Lisa Baby]

Do you think you might be satisfied, temporarily, with a nice evening gown?

I think it might be a good idea if you went back and let the sales girl give you the works on what measurements you need for a proper fitting dress and gown. It sounds as if she would be happy to help you out. Do you have a corset you might wish to wear with it?

And find out how long she expects they will have that dress availiable! You may be able to discuss the dress with your wife between now and when the dress dissapears.

Take care of yourself and your wife. I think an understanding partner is an indespensable part of life.

Lisa

[Amanda]

Check out ebay or other 2nd hand shops. I too think the ultimate in femmininity is to wear a wedding gown - a white one. I have seen a size 12 in a 2nds shop for $10!! and I have been debating for a month now whether to get it as I know it won't fit me but just to have all the petticoats might be worth it. There's also the question of where do I hide it.