How ????

[deebra]

Let's say a man between 18 and 50 comes into a shoe store dressed in women's low wedges or sandles, fairly tight women's boot cut jeans with a flat front and woman's tee shirt. Having a slim build and being an average to nice looking guy and the clothes "fit him nicely" how do you think the men and women that notice him perceive him. Remember there are so many styles today from purple hair, piercings, multiple tattoos, etc. Everybody or most everybody dresses as they please. CD's????? Where is he in the eyes of others. Can a male dress like he and not be seen as gay, maybe he just prefers wearing women's clothes? And he walks over to the women's shoe section showing he is clearly interested in women's shoes. Back to the question, how is he perceived?

[Alice Torn]

I guess it depends on the individuals seeing him. Some will be shocked, some will not be surprised at anything. Some will secretly think he is strange, or gay. Some will like him. Some will not like the way he is.

[jacques]

hopefully - the shop assistant helps the customer choose the right shoes and makes a sale
luv J

[sometimes_miss]

Can a male dress like that and not be seen as gay
Not likely. Wearing female specific clothes in public pretty much marks us as either gay or TS. Very few people in society are knowledgeable about anything other than gay or straight.

[Teresa]

Deebra,
Several possibilities here, the so called man could be a M/F TS or a F/M TS, I would say from your description they could easily be either. I feel they would be perceived in the same way as a person in transition, either way some may see them as gay but then that shouldn't be a problem , their sexual preferences are their business .

OK I've often walked into the women's shoe section but in drab and tried them on because I'm interested in buying them, I have to say that has often been a lot of fun with SAs and other shoppers , so what did they think of me ? I'm not really bothered anymore .

[Lana Mae]

As long as he is not harassed, what difference does it make? Hugs Lana Mae

[Tracii G]

I live that every day and people treat me just fine no stupid questions like are those girls jeans or are you gay?
None of that they treat you as just another person. Albeit different sure but people in general are accepting
As far as the gay question that is almost never asked. Why you ask ? because it doesn't matter and nobody cares if you are gay or straight.
I wish some of you would get that thru your heads and stop being so homophobic.

[docrobbysherry]

I have no idea how others would perceive him, Deebra. In fact, without a photo I can't tell u how I would perceive him.

Because I haven't yet!:brolleyes:

[Tracii G]

Yeah Deebra how would you perceive a male dressed that way.
Usually we can answer our own questions so why not ask yourself first?

[IleneD]

Debra,

Dear, check out my answer on a blog in the Clothes, Shopping & Beauty section on a thread for "Nervous Shoe Shopping".

I basically said, "I don't give a rip any more." Honestly. I'm almost brazen about going out or how "femme" I look. I do a lot of mixing; wear earrings, panties and often a bra 24/7. I may be wearing guy shorts and sandals (toes painted) but with a woman's top (like a tank top or sleeveless top). Maybe add a ball cap; sometimes a dab of lipstick.
I don't need to put on the Entire Ilene in order to go out, feel good about being feminine and just Be Me. Isn't that what this is all about?; being comfortable with You, and presenting Yourself in places you want to be. And yes, sometimes I put on the whole Ilene look and go about.

Keep 'em guessing and have fun out there.

[deebra]

Great answers, thank you all.

Traci I like your answers too, they answer the question very clearly.
Your thread #9 put me on the spot and made me think. Let's see, if I was in the shoe store and he came in he would definitely get my attention and I wouldn't stare. I would wonder if he was gay but don't have a problem with other peoples sexual preference. I would find it odd that he dressed in women's clothes but as a CD I would admire him for that. I would wonder if he wasn't gay but just a CD; maybe an effeminate man. And as he was looking at women's shoes I would go over (good chance I would have something feminine on such as jeans) and start looking for myself, say something like "sure have a lot of pretty shoes" and then get a pair and try them on of course with him seeing this. I'm sure this would break the ice and lead to some conversation between us and I would find out why he dressed in women's clothes. I would not be trying to pick him up but I would tell him I admire him for dressing fem. Also that I dress and love how much better women's clothes look, fit and feel. How's that to answer your question???

BTW, when I run errands tomorrow I will be dressed somewhat like that. And this question was not about me, just something I wondered about.

[Tracii G]

Ok thats a start and yes my post was intended to make you think but still you are stuck on the gay aspect.
Just because he is dressed in a more femme attire does not mean he is gay you of all people should know that and why would you as a straight man even mention that you would not be trying to "pick him up"?
See that is where your homophobia comes out.
You say you have no problem with peoples sexual preferences but yet you brand a CDer as gay when you don't know if he is or not.
I think you are ok with gays but if you are CDing you can't bare the thought of someone thinking you are gay.
You need to shed that frame of mind and get over thinking that way.

[deebra]

I mentioned/thought he might be gay because we never see straight men dressed in women's clothing but we do see gay men dressed that way. The chances of seeing a CD in public are rare. Being old like you and me we were raised to instantly think a man in women's clothes is gay.
Walking over and talking to him with girl jeans on and trying on a pair of women's shoes has all the markings of presenting myself as gay and looking for a hookup. I would not be shy about doing this, my interest would be to see if he was just a CD and how he felt about wearing women's clothes in public.
And yes I don't want people to assume I am gay just because I wear women's clothes and think it's very wrong for them to do that. We should be accepted for what ever kind of clothes, hairstyles, jewelry we choose to wear. Maybe I should shed that frame of mind but that is how most of the public sees us. They don't know anything about CD's, why we would want to dress like a woman so they automatically assume we are gay, dressed like a woman to pick up a man.

[Tracii G]

Gee whiz you say one thing then another there is no continuity in your train of thought deebra and you contradict yourself.
If you go up and talk to a male friend or co worker you aren't looking for a hook up are you? Of course not.
So if you dressed as you said walk up to this guy and asked him how he felt about wearing womens clothes how on earth can that be construed as looking for a hook up???
See in your mind you assume he is gay because he has on womens clothes (in guy mode just like you ) but Katie barr the door if he thinks you are gay.
I am really trying to understand why you think its wrong its wrong for others to think you are gay but its OK for you to assume others are gay for doing exactly what you are doing.

[Jean 103]

The question I have for u is why do you care what they think? Most will not care, others will think he is gay. There is a huge difference between a teenager and someone who is 50. I would like to know why you want to dress this way? It is confusing enough for the public. Why dress some where in the middle. If you want, go for it. I have dressed this way. One time I was treated as a women the other a guy. I didn't care I just didn't have time to do my makeup and hair.

[bridget thronton]

I honestly never try to tag someone as gay or not. People are people and their clothes are their choice.

[jennifer0918]

Kentucky mist moonshine is yummy.
I would say g'day to him,carry on.

[Bobbi46]

Why just because a man is seen dressed totally or partially in women's clothing should he be perceived as being gay? this is wrong. I dress en femme does that make me gay? NO because I am not so why should someone like me or any of the rest of us be perceived as being gay just because of the way we dress.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm an extremely flamboyant Austentatious colourful so and so, not that different to the described subject!
How I am perceived on the street should not have anything to do with my sexuality, Who knows that I like another guy?

I guess that seeing us is one thing, knowing us is another!

Staying out of therapy Stacy!

[Jodie_Lynn]

I mentioned/thought he might be gay because we never see straight men dressed in women's clothing but we do see gay men dressed that way. The chances of seeing a CD in public are about as good as The Donald getting re-elected. Being old like you and me we were raised to instantly think a man in women's clothes is gay.

WRONG! There are plenty of guys who wear skinny jeans, brightly colored shirts, get mani's & wax. They are called 'metrosexuals' and it may not have anything to do with their sexual orientation, they simply like to look nice!


Walking over and talking to him with girl jeans on and trying on a pair of women's shoes has all the markings of presenting myself as gay and looking for a hookup. I would not be shy about doing this, my interest would be to see if he was just a CD and how he felt about wearing women's clothes in public.

WRONG! And silly. Obviously, he feels perfectly fine wearing women's clothing in public, because he is doing so. And one male speaking to another male, ( or female to female) doesn't have to about sex.


And yes I don't want people to assume I am gay just because I wear women's clothes and think it's very wrong for them to do that. We should be accepted for what ever kind of clothes, hairstyles, jewelry we choose to wear. Maybe I should shed that frame of mind but that is how most of the public sees us. They don't know anything about CD's, why we would want to dress like a woman so they automatically assume we are gay, dressed like a woman to pick up a man.

If it wrong for people to automatically assume someone is gay because of the clothes they are wearing, then WHY the HELL are YOU doing it? Hypocritical, much?

[deebra]

I stand by my threads, they are accurate and answer the questions correctly. Maybe you should re-read them and try to fully understand.
To many questions for me to reply to all however I will answer Jodie's last. Because I like wearing women's clothes and acting female when wearing, it's the assumers that are wrong, not me. Because they think wrong doesn't dictate what I wear or do. And I might add most Americans I observe are overweight, fat and dress sloppy. I'm not, I look good in female clothes, they fit my body closely, are not to tight to look sexually trashy but show I keep my body and clothing attractive. I very much prefer how I look in female clothes to loose, rough, to much material where there is no a** guy clothes. If we like the look of a woman in her 20's wearing, sandles, jeans and tee showing she has a nice in shape figure and this type of clothing isn't available for men and it isn't, why not wear those same clothes and present as nicely as she??? Surely some women could find a man dressed like this just as attractive to them as the woman is to men. If the public hadn't been trained to believe that clothing are only made for a specific gender then both sexes could dress to be their best. Women have the balls to do this, CDers and men don't.

[Stacy Darling]

I'm stuck on this, as I am most like the Subject! (that's cool)

I'm perceived as that person every day,
Just want to be me

[Krisi]

The average person will think he is gay. That's reality and that's the answer to the question that was asked.

[Majella St Gerard]

I would think most people would presume that he was gay. I base this on my own experiences, as almost everyone on first meeting me thinks that I am gay. I get it, as most people are ignorant on this subject. I go to a gay/alternative club twice a week and sing karaoke, most of the regulars know I like girls. But I also meet new people all the time, as I live in a tourist beach town. If a man gets too friendly I will inform him of this fact, and with women I meet I usually let then know fairly early in the conversation because I would like to find an understanding woman to potentially date.

[susan54]

I did something like this today. I often go shopping as a man in a skirt. Today ihada long navycotton skirt, black balletpumps, a male white shirt, and a lady scarf on my head, tied at the back after shopping I. One of my favourite boutiques and then a shoe shop -all fine - then I went to a/shop that has never let me try anything on I was only looking for earrings. As I approached, the owner was closing up. She saw me coming, looked me up and down, a d shook her head. And then she confirmed that she was closed. Not. Bothered.

[Rogina B]

Gay is good ! Easy on people's minds...Let them think what they want..

[Lana Mae]

It was interesting! I wore pink pearly nail polish to work. Only one person said anything. I am widower with two grown kids and everyone at work knows this and this person had to ask, "Oh, is that pink polish? Are you gay?" Obviously she knew better! It is just so in-grained in our society! She was the only one who said anything! The others did not believe she even asked! I only answered, no! Hind sight is 20/20! I should have said no, are you? Or no, just trans! It is what it is! Hugs Lana Mae

[Fiona123]

When I was younger I admit I might have thought gay. Now I better understand the distinction between gay, trans, and so forth.