The Wife is coming around

[Ariana225]

I've been out to my wife of 4 years (together 8) for only a couple months. It was extremely hard at first with lots of crying and being unsure about the future. She's slowly allowed me to underdress with panties, painted toes, body shaved, and girly fragrances. I've been buying other things on amazon and hiding them. She knows I have them hid and started out DADT kind of a situation. Today she decided to open one of my amazon boxes and sends this message to me while I'm at work "I stole one of the sports bras that was delivered today!! Bahaha it's so comfy!!". I think I'm getting luckier each passing day! I told her we could share all 4 and she said okay!

[Lana Mae]

Sounds great but go gently on this as it can always turn around on you! Be sure to keep reassuring her! Best wishes Hugs Lana Mae

[nikkiwindsor]

That's great...do encourage you to go slowly as Lana Mae suggests. My wife has slowly come around over the years...and I hope she'll be even more supportive in the future...but, I know she needs to go at her own pace...I'm gentle with her regarding my feminine side

[Elizabeth G]

That sounds great! I will echo what Lana said though, there are numerous stories of SO's being accepting at first but changing over time. Make sure she knows how much you appreciate this and good luck!

[RADER]

Welcome to the forum Roberta;
Glad you found us. There are many like you here, all trying to have their SO
allow you to dress. Go Slow, Maybe go shopping together for something she
can wear, then get a second one for you.
Most GG's do not like to share clothes, with their SO's
Rader

[nikkiwindsor]

My experience started with my wife not being supportive and then coming around on her own time

[Ariana225]

Thanks everyone! I have been taking it slowly even. We have communicated that when I go too far and it's something she is uncomfortable with that she immediately let me know and that I will back off of what I am doing until she is more comfortable. Some days she can be fine with something and the next day she will not. I find as long as we respect each other in that way we can both ease into what works for us.

Since I came out to her I have been trying extra hard to treat her like she is the only woman in the house and has no one to compete with. I put her completely over anything CD related. I make sure she is taken care of, the house is clean, the laundry is done, dishes washed, etc. beforehand. She says our relationship has gotten better by my extra effort I put forth since coming out. I did my research before coming out the best I could to try not to ruin things with our relationship. Her being liberal and spiritual/non religious probably plays a huge factor as well in her acceptance. Today was a big day in acceptance so I had to share! Much love 😘

[Aunt Kelly]

You are doing it right, Roberta. So is your spouse. Make sure she knows that.

[alwayshave]

Roberta, sounds like movement in the right direction. Just remember, she can borrow from you, but you cannot borrow from her.

[Judy-Somthing]

When I had a girlfriend at 17, she bought me panties quite often.
My wife pretty much is not supportive but, yesterday she was using my computer and noticed I had so many pinterest emails for dresses and asked why?
I said "because I love dresses" and nothing else was said.

[Dana44]

Roberta, welcome to the group. Take it slow and do indeed tell her how good she looks and how you appreciate her.

[Ariana225]

You girls are the best! Thanks for welcoming me to the group! I'm usually a lurker, but I post from time to time when something really sparks my interest! I am hoping with time I will get to be more girly more often! Thanks again! 😘

[Jaylyn]

Roberta sounds like you have a keeper of a wife there. She might have been threatened at first but after they realize we are still the guy they married and the love is still there they do come around or at least get used to it. You are a lucky guy just remember to treat her nicer than ever and she will get even more on board with it all.

[Silkydog]

Roberta, Congratulations!!! The stages of acceptance is very rewarding. Going from tolerant to acceptance to encouraging with your S/O is the best feeling. Be prepared for a step forward then two steps back. Sometimes I take advantage of the pink time she offers me, them other times I make sure I give her the blue time she needs from me. Keep the pink time and blue time balanced. ALWAYS make her feel appreciated and you will be surprised what she gives back in return. Good luck and enjoy your pink time!

[Salina]

That's awesome Roberta! It paid off to do your research and it sounds like you're handling things very well. This gives me hope that my wife will slowly come around over time.

[Ariana225]

Relaxing in our new sports bras watching 13 going on 30. She loves the fact I like girly movies! 😉 I always tried to play the guy card pretending I didn't like them. But now that I've expressed my feminine side she loves some of the perks.

[Krisi]

The key is to move slowly. Make sure she is OK with one step before you move on to the next step. Sharing clothes is a good thing. Make sure she knows that there is an end in sight, that you won't eventually want to have surgery or live as a woman. That thought scares most wives.

And make sure it's not all about you. Be her man when she needs you to be and tell her how much you love and appreciate her.

[phili]

Roberta, this sounds like a wonderful turnaround and beginning for you both!

I hold out hope that similarly for my wife the emotions of affinity [as I morph from distracted male provider/protector into super attentive supportive friend] will overcome the emotions of being a stranger in a strange land [you are a man and you look terrible- strange and perverted- in a dress? -why are you so out of touch with the simple reality and logic of our culture???/#!%]. In the meantime, it is wonderful to know progress is being made somewhere!

[Teri Ray]

Roberta,

Wonderful story. Your wife sounds like a gem. Keep her feelings in front and always be honest. Best wishes.

[nikkiwindsor]

My wife is a gem to love me and being as accepting and supportive as she is...unconditional love is amazing!

[Maria 60]

Women are so unpredictable, what's good today isn't always good tomorrow. It sounds like she is coming around and just don't push or put to much pressure, I know we can get excited and anxious at times.

[greeneyes]

Welcome Roberta! Sounds like things are working out well, just remember ....encourage her to buy stuff just for her sometimes!!! Picking out something new is always fun!!

Greeneyes:battingeyelashes:

[Ariana225]

An update. So the wife has told me the last two days not to put makeup on. But now tonight she wants to do my makeup once the daughter goes to bed. I think she thinks it's fun to put makeup on me but when I do it myself she isn't as crazy about it. I'm girly myself and have a feminine nature, but I still can't get into the brain of a GG... anyone else have any luck cracking into their GG's brain waves? Lmao 😘

And thanks again girls! This world is so new to me and I'm glad to be apart of all this! 😘

[Sarah O]

Maybe she is trying to set some boundaries? It may take some time for her to settle in to a new 'norm'.

I know it's hard not too, but try not to overthink it, or get all consumed with your new found freedom.

Enjoy!!

[Silkydog]

Roberta, Continue to let her drive. She is setting boundaries and opening up to her comfort zone. Take advantage as anything could trigger a step back. Right now she is doing something special for you. Return the favor and give her back something special. My wife love quality family time. You have a special wife, take care of her

[Ariana225]

Exactly! That's what is making me thrive. Her boundries are very important to me. If she has fun doing my make up that is how I'm going to approach it from now on until it changes. She drives this car in her own comfort zone. I respect that and with full understanding! By the way I tried to post a profile pic of my backside (since I have a goatee that she loves) but it says my account doesn't have those privileges.

[Sami Brown]

Roberta, after the number of posts reaches ten, you will be able to upload photos. You are almost there!

[Ariana225]

Thanks Sami! 😘 I didn't know that!

[Ariana225]

My wife seen me looking at dresses on amazon. She told me the one I was interested in buying was not in style and was fugly. So she got on her phone and ordered me a cuter one. I can't believe I spent 8 years with her not knowing about my CDing. I've opened up a new world for her and she continues to take baby steps and keeps being more supportive. I don't believe I'm pushing her at all. I just keep reminding her how much I love her and how amazing and accepting she is being to me and how much it means to me.

[Tina_gm]

She sure does seem to have done a 180 in a very short time. I would still be wary though, you are moving at warp speed, so just be mindful of this. It certainly won't be the 1st time we've seen a member here talk about how everything is just wonderful then all of a sudden bam, the 180 did a 180 for seemingly no reason.

[Ariana225]

Gendermutt, I sure hope not! I feel like I hit the jackpot, I don't want the spend it too fast! She has been amazing with me and I wore the dress she bought for me for about an hour today. Even though she can't keep a straight face, she knows it's important to me. From day 1 to now she has done the 180 many times and so far in the accepting direction!

[prene]

I am envious.
I wish I had an accepting spouse(gg).

[nikkiwindsor]

I so agree with your approach...I make sure my wife knows I love her and I center my attention on her which isn't hard to do...she's beautiful inside and out. One of the things that bothers her most is my focus on maintaining a slim and fit body...she hates that I can lose weight and keep it off while she struggles with it...she says its just not fair...oh, and she also knows I stay trim to fit in my dresses...lol! Nikki

[Ariana225]

Nikki, that's the same with me. I can drop lbs like nothing when I try to. My wife hates it also! I've kept my belly and haven't tried to lose weight since coming out to her because I don't want any mixed messages this early into it. But I do eventually want to go on a diet so my dresses don't poke out at the belly haha

[Gennifer in LA]

Having just shared this part of my life with my wife, I am not sure where we will end up. Hope for an accepting participatory arrangement but think it will end in DADT, at least at first. Being patient is hard!

[Ariana225]

Having just shared this part of my life with my wife, I am not sure where we will end up. Hope for an accepting participatory arrangement but think it will end in DADT, at least at first. Being patient is hard!

Good luck hun! It is a slow road! DADT lasted around 2 months for me. Depends on the wife on how long it takes. Go at her pace and communicate a lot. Very helpful to write her a life's story letter on why you are the way you are. Express your love for her and how much it means to you. Try to improve on everything about your relationship even if it only needs minor changes. Let us know how it goes! 😘

[valerieg]

My wife seen me looking at dresses on amazon. She told me the one I was interested in buying was not in style and was fugly. So she got on her phone and ordered me a cuter one.
I want to see pics of "fugly" and "cuter" - side by side.

[Ariana225]

I want to see pics of "fugly" and "cuter" - side by side.

I can't even remember the fugly one I was looking at on amazon. But this is the one she bought for me.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LXB6095/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_v0RCzbRDYP7DZ

[Maria_mtf]

Back to the OP I love it, what a great message to receive from you wife.

Think I am a little further behind than you but I had two moments of acceptance and curiosity recently. First while I was dressed in the bedroom wife came upstairs opened the door and talked to me but behind the door, second time she poked her head around the corner. I was wearing dress, tights and padded bra.

Second I told her of a delivery I had coming soon, she just said do you now! No. Negative comment.

[Ariana225]

That's wonderful sweetie! Sounds like she is opening up to it more! How long has she known your secret? Acceptance from the wife is a great feeling and I hope it continues.

[Ariana225]

The difference a month makes! A little update on my situation girls! Things are getting better! I'd be lying if I said there wasn't ups and downs. But it's been more understanding and more 2 steps forward and less 1 step back. I bought me and the wife matching nightgowns and we wore them to bed last night! So amazing!

Here is the nightgown, so comfortable and so sensual cuddling up to the wife in it!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019W128JS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_NdAIzbPW64ZM0

[JocelynJames]

Roberta,
Well that doesn't suck! I live that nightgown, but not sure I would get 1
Wink of sleep

[Ariana225]

I slept amazing. I was the most comfortable sleeping in bed than I ever have been before! I got to continue to take it slow, but I can't wait until we do it again. Self control is so hard with a wife that is slowing becoming more acceptable. Can't screw it up.