Married closeted CD's - it can work

[Tamsin Secret]

Hi all,

Interesting short video from the BBC news website I came across today.

My husband is transgender and we're still happy - http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-40531620

It struck a chord with me as I'm married and in the closet and any story of 'coming out' is of interest.

This maybe in the wrong place but i felt it worth watching due to the positive nature the wife put on the whole scenario. Amazing lady.

Enjoy your day,

Miss S

[Whinlatter]

Thanks for sharing this Miss S.
It's great to see a couple that have worked through it together.
I know of a similar couple that have worked through this process.
I wonder what the key is?
Is it easier for the GG to accept a full transition than it is to accept a male partner that dresses?
Sorry if that sounds a dumb question but I'm new and exploring myself, certainly not yet ready to come out to my wife!

Thanks
Stacey :)

[mbmeen12]

Is it easier for the GG to accept a full transition than it is to accept a male partner that dresses? Wow that is a good question and most likely been opined on before. Mods might move it to "Ask a GG forum".

Yes video link was good too. My GG gave me an awesome positive commit the other day regards to my taste in clothes and to being me i.e. Kara.

[Nigella]

There are many couples who stay together despite transgenderism being a part of their lives. Sandra and I have been married for 30 years, I have been fully transitioned for four years, but living female for 10. There are a few others who have gone through a transition and even more on this forum who live with crossdressing and have stayed together.

Why don't you hear about these relationships? People enjoy a pity party and don't want to hear about the success stories, just the opportunity to wallow in their own misery. The feel good posts that have been posted about successful relationships receive less attention than the "oh woe is me, she won't accept" posts.

Why does a relationship work, only the couple involved in the relationship can answer that, but in our case, Sandra saw beyond the clothing and make up and saw the person she fell in love with. The journey of transition was taken together, with frank and honest discussion, no hidden agendas or blame games. Relationships are complex, take commitment and compromise, how about examining the relationship without the crossdressing element, you may be surprised at what you find.

[GretchenM]

There was a newspaper article here a few years ago about a couple that made it work, but the husband was only part time with the dressing part and had no desire to transition. In male form he is a well known bartender here with a magnetic personality. Sometimes he goes to work as her and other times as him and it always works. The wife was very supportive and helped a great deal. The point is, it can also work beautifully even when the transgender person is not interested in being a woman (or a man) all the time. Sadly, that is not the usual situation. But it does seem that among the younger crowd it is more acceptable and workable than among us who are older and were well versed in traditional views on this subject. That spread across the age groups though shows that in time this kind of workable relationship in a marriage will likely become more and more common. And, to me, that is the beauty of it.

[docrobbysherry]

It's important to remember most T's r closeted and never come out in public! :straightface:

In many cases that may make things easier for the T's, spouses, relatives, and close friends.

[Dana44]

Thanks for posting this. It was a nice to watch it and I agree that our SO's do let us do it. It is nice to have an accepting SO.

[Teresa]

Whinlatter,
I would say they will accept a CDer rather than someone in transition because the Cder will come back to male mode the TS won't so she's going to lose the man/ husband in her life.

My wife just won't accept ,so we may have come to the end of the road . We can't fully answer questions about ourselves while buried deeply in the closet and possibly frightened of our own shadow.